David Wright...might be....ummm....you know....

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

For months now New Yorkers have been looking for someone to "replace" Mike Piazza as the incumbent man to "poke" fun at.....Alas, I think they've found their man. One David Allen Wright. Now I'm not one to spread rumors, so I will provide you with physical evidence.

First, he is way too pretty. As a man I can comfortably say that he makes me jealous. He's young, in the majors, and apparently can hold his liquor. But he has quotes like these, "When I first got to the majors in 2004, female fans held up signs asking me to marry them. Those girls today were what, 13, 14? I'm 23, but that's a little young even for me."

Hmmm....so that was the evidence before I saw him on The Late Show with David Letterman on July 12th, 2006. Here's what I got from Mr. Wright (as the females love to call him):

2:54 into the video- "I like to suck up to Willie, As long as he writes my name in the lineup everyday, I'll suck up to him. (No Comment)

3:45- His brothers beat him up as a kid. (perhaps wrestling matches?)

4:13- Constantly sticks his tongue out when he plays. (Not sure what this means but it's funny looking)

7:10- And the tell tale sign.....they played Dave Matthews Band on the outro.

Now if that doesn't scream _____ then I don't know what does. So I think that pretty much solves my theory that David Wright is ______. Or he's a ridiculous baseball player, and I'm jealous of his abilities and dreamy good looks. I think you know the answer to that one.....yea it's the former.

Ahhh, I feel better now.

Posted by Awful Announcing- at 10:07 AM


Yea yea everyone loves David Wright...well guess what A-Rod is the kindest, cutest, most loveable, 3b in the city of New York!

Mini Me said...
Jul 18, 2006, 7:58:00 PM  

You know how I know you're gay...

Tom said...
Jul 18, 2006, 8:04:00 PM  

Cause I post videos of David Wright on my site?

AwfulAnnouncing said...
Jul 18, 2006, 8:05:00 PM  

Someone has to be gay. I think Bernie Williams is; no joke. I have no basis for this opinion whatsoever.

Steve said...
Jul 20, 2006, 10:29:00 AM  

Ok, even while I totaly heart David Wright...he did admit that he loves to "rock a pastel shirt" during his pre-taped interview for the HR Derby. Um. Yeah....

Jul 21, 2006, 5:51:00 PM  

Coming from a chicks perspective, who has many gay friends, you are entirely wrong and jealous. He is not gay. Why? Cuz he has enough fashion sense to know a baby pink shirt is sexy on the right guy? Or perhaps, he is cool with all of his teammates whom he spends how much time with? Every guy who is attractive, successful and in the spotlight is automatically labelled gay. Get over it. It shows your insecurities.

Alison said...
May 28, 2007, 10:31:00 PM  

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