Pam Ward Chronicles: Week Five

Saturday, October 03, 2009



I'll be around for a full day today, and I can't wait to spend it with Pammy and the rest of the gang. I'll be in and out during Gameday, but I'll see you at noon for a day of wonderment!

Week Five Announcing Schedule
______________________________________

"If you hit your receivers, you put a lot of pressure on the defense."- Chris Spielman (via 49er)

"This has been a speddy drive for the Spartans."- Wayne Larrivee

"Arkansas State down fourteen to nothing to....uh....Iowa."- Pam Ward (You would think she would know it's Iowa that's playing since her and Ray cover the team almost every week)

"Maryland really struggling this season."- Pam Ward
"Your Turtles."- Ray Bentley
"Yeah, they're turtling up."- Pam Ward

"He's a tremendous foot athlete."- Chris Martin

"Under the Teflon sky of the MetroDome."- Clay Matvick (via Joe)

"Seven of the first 12 passes that Decker.........Weber has thrown has gone to Decker." - Bob Griese (Via 9er)

"He ran in there like Ray Charles. You got to look in the eyes and see where you're going."- Doc Walker

"That's a wet frisbee that dog is catching. He doesn't put it on the turf."- Chris Martin

"If you look up burst and suddenness in the dictionary, you'll find double nickle, Brandon Graham."- Chris Martin

"His running has literally killed Michigan on some of these drives"- Wayne Larrivee (via Mike)

"Are you starting to fear the turtle yet?"- Clay Matvick
"Oh I'm feeling it."- David Diaz-Infante

"For fat guys like me, the slab of bacon was a better trophy than the axe."- Bob Wischusen

"You dance with girl you brung ball."- Wayne Larrivee (Not sure that's the right phrase)

"Ride your horse. Clay's your horse. Ride him." - Chris Spielman (via SS)

"Bob Wischusen alongside Brian Griese and Chris Spielman." - Bob Wischusen
"Did you just call me Brian Griese?" - Bob Griese
(via SS)

"In the NFL when the quarterback is sacked inside two minutes, the clock stops; not in college, the clock keeps running."- Bob Griese (via Chuck)

"I did not have a decorated career. I've had rotator cuff surgery and I am probably over weight, but I could have completed that pass."- Gary Danielson
"If you consider yourself overweight, I do not want to know what you say about me."- Verne Lundquist
(via Mal)

Posted by Awful Announcing- at 10:23 AM

110 Comments:

Who is replacing Charissa Thompson today?

Ed said...
Oct 3, 2009, 10:58:00 AM  

Good question. I'll try to find out.

Oct 3, 2009, 11:41:00 AM  

From Thursday night: "West Virginia is wearing their old old gold uniforms tonight."

Joe said...
Oct 3, 2009, 12:06:00 PM  

"If you hit your receivers, you put a lot of pressure on the defense."-Spielman

No way....

49er16 said...
Oct 3, 2009, 12:07:00 PM  

Bob Wischusen (Wisc-MN): "Scott Tolzien has been winging it for Wisconsin." (part of a sponsorship).

Joe said...
Oct 3, 2009, 12:09:00 PM  

Danny Kanell (VT-Duke): "It looked like his knee touched the down (ground)."

Joe said...
Oct 3, 2009, 12:12:00 PM  

Doc Walker: "Good call, you execute the play, you move the sticks." Duh.

Joe said...
Oct 3, 2009, 12:15:00 PM  

"This is the best move Minnesota ever made; building an outdoor football stadium." - Bob Wischusen.

They it's nice and great and all, but I can't wait to hear everyone in the end of November when it's 8 degrees and a blizzard.

JFein said...
Oct 3, 2009, 12:22:00 PM  

"That is not the most low cal meal here in Minnesota, but it's my kind of buffet." - Bob Wischusen on some random restaurant they showed after a commercial break

JFein said...
Oct 3, 2009, 12:27:00 PM  

How does Iowa get Arkansas State in Week Five???

Oct 3, 2009, 12:31:00 PM  

"I think someone finally wants to get his hands on Paul Bunyan's axe." - Bob Wischsen

What are the odds that Brad Nessler or someone else has a slip-up and call it Paul Bunyan's ass, again?

JFein said...
Oct 3, 2009, 12:34:00 PM  

@ AA: I have another question: how on earth does that game then get on ESPN2???

JFein said...
Oct 3, 2009, 12:35:00 PM  

I dunno. All of ESPN's early games today are pretty crappy.

Oct 3, 2009, 12:37:00 PM  
This comment has been removed by the author.
JFein said...
Oct 3, 2009, 12:41:00 PM  

looking forward to the gems you find today

Oct 3, 2009, 12:41:00 PM  

"It might be George Washington." - Bob Wischusen after a trivia question asked who was president the 1st time Wisconsin met Minnesota.

The answer is Benjamin Harrison.

JFein said...
Oct 3, 2009, 12:43:00 PM  

Clay Matvick (Clemson-MD), talking about Vikings-Packers: "Under the Teflon sky of the MetroDome."

Joe said...
Oct 3, 2009, 12:56:00 PM  

Brent Stover is the sideline reporter replacing Charissa Thompson.

Joe said...
Oct 3, 2009, 12:58:00 PM  

"Over into the open field is Reggie Arnold." - Pam Ward making no sense.

JFein said...
Oct 3, 2009, 1:07:00 PM  

"Seven of the first 12 passes that Decker.........Weber has thrown has gone to Decker." - Bob Griese

Yes, it did take him that long to correct himself.

JFein said...
Oct 3, 2009, 1:10:00 PM  

"He ran in there like Ray Charles. You got to look in the eyes and see where you're going." Doc Walker.

Joe said...
Oct 3, 2009, 1:12:00 PM  

Appalachian State is losing 7-0 to the Citadel.

Joe said...
Oct 3, 2009, 1:23:00 PM  

Pasch/Spielman/Griese is somehow worse than Nessler/Macguire/Griese.

I cannot stand waking up to those three.

SSReporters said...
Oct 3, 2009, 1:26:00 PM  

Citadel announcer: "Edwards taps his nameplate."

Joe said...
Oct 3, 2009, 1:37:00 PM  

Steve Martin: "Virginia has gone to the rugby punt presentation."

Doc Walker thought they were going for it while they were kicking.

Joe said...
Oct 3, 2009, 1:50:00 PM  

"His running has literally killed Michigan on some of these drives"

-Wayne Larrivee

Mike said...
Oct 3, 2009, 2:00:00 PM  

Can someone wake me when there's an interesting game on?

Oct 3, 2009, 2:00:00 PM  

AA: No kidding. The VaTech/Duke game could get interesting but I will have to mute it.

G said...
Oct 3, 2009, 2:23:00 PM  

I opted for soccer instead.

Sunderland were about to get their first win at Manchester United in forever and lost the lead at the last minute due to an own goal. 2-2 the final and a lot more interesting than this pile of crap for morning college football.

SSReporters said...
Oct 3, 2009, 2:31:00 PM  

I was watching Soccer earlier, and Bolton looked pretty good, but of course they blew it.

Oct 3, 2009, 2:32:00 PM  

"For fat guys like me, the slab of bacon was a better trophy than the axe."- Bob Wischusen

49er16 said...
Oct 3, 2009, 2:35:00 PM  

Syracuse is getting wiped out by South Florida. 34-13 now.

SSReporters said...
Oct 3, 2009, 2:35:00 PM  

Wow that is Kurt Warner-esque.

SSReporters said...
Oct 3, 2009, 2:36:00 PM  

Words cannot describe how bad the NCAA Football 10 game looks. They totally mailed in everything.

SSReporters said...
Oct 3, 2009, 2:40:00 PM  

"When you have a QB that tosses it into the trash can for 50 yards." - Chris Spielman

SSReporters said...
Oct 3, 2009, 2:41:00 PM  

Wow the Minnesota game just got exciting thanks to a fumble by Brown and a TD return.

SSReporters said...
Oct 3, 2009, 2:45:00 PM  

"That was a typical, if not quintessential, run from Adam Robinson." -Ray Bentley
Don't typical and quintessential mean the same thing?

T-Fred said...
Oct 3, 2009, 2:46:00 PM  

"Ride your horse. Clay's your horse. Ride him." - Chris Spielman

SSReporters said...
Oct 3, 2009, 2:47:00 PM  

"Paul Bunyan's everywhere today!" - Bob Wischusen on how both the Axe and the Trophy are up for grabs today.

JFein said...
Oct 3, 2009, 2:50:00 PM  

"He'd rather lose his helmet then lose the ball." - Bob Griese who things that risking a serious injury is not as important as a game.

JFein said...
Oct 3, 2009, 2:51:00 PM  

"You gotta be careful with the football!" - Bob Griese (AKA Captain Obvious)

SSReporters said...
Oct 3, 2009, 2:51:00 PM  

Put your money on the Bucs!

http://www.whatifsports.com/NFL/boxscore.asp?GameID=1696945&teamfee=-1&theme=-1

SSReporters said...
Oct 3, 2009, 2:53:00 PM  

That was an obvious touchdown and only Wischusen saw it that way. Griese and Spielman are shockingly bad.

Well Clay scored anyway. Game over.

SSReporters said...
Oct 3, 2009, 2:56:00 PM  

Clemson-Maryland looks to have an exciting finish.

Joe said...
Oct 3, 2009, 2:59:00 PM  

Iowa 24 Arkansas State 21


Just disband the Big Ten now.

SSReporters said...
Oct 3, 2009, 3:03:00 PM  

"you dance with the girl you brung to the....uh...ball...and that's Tate Forcier." - Wayne Larivee

Bosco said...
Oct 3, 2009, 3:04:00 PM  

WOOOOOOOO! Tate Forcier is my hero!!!!!!!

Oct 3, 2009, 3:05:00 PM  

"Bob Wischusen alongside Brian Griese and Chris Spielman." - Bob Wischusen

"Did you just call me Brian Griese?" - Bob Griese

SSReporters said...
Oct 3, 2009, 3:05:00 PM  

I take back what I said about these games being boring.

Oct 3, 2009, 3:08:00 PM  

Iowa survives THE Arkansas State 24-21.

SSReporters said...
Oct 3, 2009, 3:13:00 PM  

In slight defense of Bob Wischusen, he has done a game or 2 with Brian Griese this year.

Yes, Brian Griese is now an analyst for ESPN as well.

JFein said...
Oct 3, 2009, 3:14:00 PM  

And I take back what I said about Forcier. Dammit!

Oct 3, 2009, 3:14:00 PM  

Wisconsin retains Paul Bunyan's Axe.

Another failure for Minnesota.

SSReporters said...
Oct 3, 2009, 3:15:00 PM  

Bob Griese: "In the NFL when the quarterback is sacked inside two minutes, the clock stops; not in college, the clock keeps running"

Bob Griese apparently doesn't know the rules of football.

Charles Barkley said...
Oct 3, 2009, 3:17:00 PM  

What's with the leather chairs on ABC?

(P.S.- FUCK FUCK FUCK!)

Oct 3, 2009, 3:18:00 PM  

Ball State is going for 2 and the win against Toledo down 29-28. Wild.

SSReporters said...
Oct 3, 2009, 3:21:00 PM  

Clemson going for the tie....WIDE RIGHT!!! Maryland survives two missed FGs.

SSReporters said...
Oct 3, 2009, 3:22:00 PM  

STATUE OF LIBERTY PLAY FOR BALL STATE WORKS!!! AND THE 0-4 CARDINALS LEAD 30-29 AGAINST TOLEDO!!!

SSReporters said...
Oct 3, 2009, 3:24:00 PM  

That play was f'ing awesome, SS! Whitlock is partying tonight!!!

Oct 3, 2009, 3:27:00 PM  

Wow, Ball State got dicked.

G said...
Oct 3, 2009, 3:28:00 PM  

TOUCHDOWN TOLEDO IMMEDIATELY!!!! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!!! IT IS 37-30!!! AMAZING FINISH!

SSReporters said...
Oct 3, 2009, 3:29:00 PM  

Wait....what just happened?!?!?! How do you give up that TD Ball State??

Oct 3, 2009, 3:30:00 PM  

That is a fumble Maryland should win it now.

SSReporters said...
Oct 3, 2009, 3:31:00 PM  

Seriously SS....how do you let that happen? He was wiiiiide open.

Oct 3, 2009, 3:31:00 PM  

These games are officially crazy.

Oct 3, 2009, 3:32:00 PM  

Intercepted. Toledo wins. That sucks.

SSReporters said...
Oct 3, 2009, 3:32:00 PM  

It was brutal. Jesus, prevent D, anyone?

G said...
Oct 3, 2009, 3:33:00 PM  

That's just fate. You aren't supposed to win this season so that had to happen.

Paulus threw 5 INT's for Syracuse.

SSReporters said...
Oct 3, 2009, 3:34:00 PM  

Citadel announcer: "They're the team at the top of the mountain (Appalachian State)."

Joe said...
Oct 3, 2009, 3:34:00 PM  

Per The506 (announcing schedule for both CBS and FOX are known now for the next 3 weeks) I'm stuck with Chris Myers on pbp for Cardinals/Seahawks.


Can someone cry for me?



Thom Brennaman will take over for Joe Buck as temporary #1 NFL announcer when he is on baseball playoffs duty. Yippee.

SSReporters said...
Oct 3, 2009, 3:38:00 PM  

Following her pre-game interview with Les Miles, Verne says: "That's why we call her 'The Wolf'". Referring to Tracie Wolfson. One man's wolf is another man's fox, Verne.

Mal said...
Oct 3, 2009, 3:39:00 PM  

@ SSR: BRENNAMAN??????

Wow. I figured for sure that Fox would give it to Albert or Stockton, but I guess they don't want to break up Albert, Moose, and Goose, and maybe the people at Fox are finally starting to realize that Dick Stockton is senile.

JFein said...
Oct 3, 2009, 3:40:00 PM  

Brennaman?!! Really?

Isn't it normally Albert?

Oct 3, 2009, 3:42:00 PM  

Gary D: "I did not have a decorated career. I've had rotator cuff surgery and I am probably over weight, but I could have completed that pass".

Verne: "If you consider yourself overweight, I do not want to know what you say about me".

Mal said...
Oct 3, 2009, 3:43:00 PM  

Supposedly (and I remember reading this on The506 but it could be WOM) Kenny Albert did not have good chemistry with Troy and thus whoever was #3 (last year Stockton) would be #1 for those 3-4 weeks.

Brennaman is the #3 this year so he gets the nod.

I just have to endure Charles Davis tomorrow as Seneca Wallace pulls off his 5-yard pass = Hail Mary routine.


Oh give me a break Chris Polk fumbles the ball for Washington. Notre Dame ball.

SSReporters said...
Oct 3, 2009, 3:44:00 PM  

You know what if you want the FOX spoilers since CBS' stuff is open to the public then go here.

http://the506.com/yabb/YaBB.pl?num=1251382758/68#68

SSReporters said...
Oct 3, 2009, 3:47:00 PM  

GET IN THERE LOCKER!!! HUSKIES STRIKE FIRST!

SSReporters said...
Oct 3, 2009, 3:54:00 PM  

Oh yippee. I'm stuck with Rosen and Ryan for the next 2 Eagles games.

Can someone please cry for me?

JFein said...
Oct 3, 2009, 3:59:00 PM  

Myers/Davis could be the worst announcing duo in the history of sports.

SSReporters said...
Oct 3, 2009, 4:02:00 PM  

This Huskies secondary blows. 2nd and 20 is a first down? Come on.

SSReporters said...
Oct 3, 2009, 4:15:00 PM  

Gary Danielson just said all the Georgia students were probably "tootin" in the crowd. Ah Gary it's twittering, not tooting. But then again it is Georgia...

Bob said...
Oct 3, 2009, 4:25:00 PM  

David Norrie: "Sacks him, right up into the breast plate."

"This effort play could make a difference in Stanford's season."

Joe said...
Oct 3, 2009, 4:54:00 PM  

From Wednesday night: "Tonight in Ruston, the Bulldogs are hoping to have a meaty start to their WAC schedule."

"A little sugar for the misses'?"

Joe said...
Oct 3, 2009, 5:05:00 PM  

Georgia over LSU 7-6.

Joe said...
Oct 3, 2009, 6:09:00 PM  

Psycho T is horrible as a pitch man. They at least give the unintelligible Emmitt Smith a line to speak in the Just for Men commercial where his "beard is weird".

Mal said...
Oct 3, 2009, 6:27:00 PM  

He either feels people at his feet or guys coming on his backside.
--Gary Danielson

AO said...
Oct 3, 2009, 6:28:00 PM  

Gary: "He felt guys coming at his feet and his backside".

Mal said...
Oct 3, 2009, 6:30:00 PM  

Danielson: "That's the definition of sick."

While CBS shows a LSU player throwing up.

49er16 said...
Oct 3, 2009, 6:32:00 PM  

Stupid technical difficulties on the South Carolina-SC State game.

Joe said...
Oct 3, 2009, 7:06:00 PM  

Supposedly, there is a power outage on the TV side of the press box. People are mad on the website.

Joe said...
Oct 3, 2009, 7:40:00 PM  

The 360 came in and out, and there's 3:00 left in the half. It hasn't been on for more than 5 minutes.

Joe said...
Oct 3, 2009, 8:07:00 PM  

Is Jonathan Crompton the worst QB in Division I?

Mal said...
Oct 3, 2009, 8:22:00 PM  

Nessler: "Crompton is not the best 3rd down quarterback in college football". Also of note: water is wet.

Mal said...
Oct 3, 2009, 8:26:00 PM  

From this afternoon's Toledo-Ball State game:

Michael Reghi: You're looking at Brandon Crawford of Ball State, a 33-year-old veteran of the Vietnam War.

Doug Chapman: Gulf War, you mean.

Reghi: Wow, I'm really starting to date myself now.

Master Stein said...
Oct 3, 2009, 8:38:00 PM  

Mark Jones: "They're getting fat on Jonathan Smith, eating him up."

Master Stein said...
Oct 3, 2009, 8:40:00 PM  

Kevin Riley can make a case to knock off Crompton as worst QB in D-I.

In other news Pac-10 refs suck.

SSReporters said...
Oct 3, 2009, 8:47:00 PM  

Todd B: "Eric Berry is the leading tackler on defense and the leading tackler on special team".

Brad: "Put him in on offens".

Couldn't hurt...

Mal said...
Oct 3, 2009, 9:07:00 PM  

@SSR - Crompton leads Div IA in INTs this season. Tonight he is 2 of 11 for 9 yards and a fumble. It's like watching any of the Cleveland Brown QBs.

Mal said...
Oct 3, 2009, 9:09:00 PM  

Wendi Nix > Rece Davis.

Mal said...
Oct 3, 2009, 9:42:00 PM  

Two down territory here, Brad?

It's a 10 point game and a FG makes it a 7 point game. Do the math.

SSReporters said...
Oct 3, 2009, 11:01:00 PM  

"They gave him just enough time to allow Johnson to get finished with his cut." - Kirk Herbstreit.

JFein said...
Oct 3, 2009, 11:06:00 PM  

Does anybody knows who is playing Monday night?

Mal said...
Oct 3, 2009, 11:07:00 PM  

Many entries from Dave Lapham on Fox Sports SW's broadcast of Baylor-Kent State.

"They give them scholarships for a reason."

"He is a shotput with legs."

"He can change direction on a dime and leave nine cents."

"They got behind their big boy pads and had a good time."

edtechbeheler said...
Oct 3, 2009, 11:09:00 PM  

Brent Musberger just said California Angels when referring to some player.

Michael said...
Oct 3, 2009, 11:26:00 PM  

"Here's Matt Winer." - Brent Musburger
"Just finished in Tennessee..." - John Saunders

Way to go, Brent. You made that mistake last year as well.

JFein said...
Oct 3, 2009, 11:32:00 PM  

After the "Final Verdict" segment on College Football Tonight (or whatever it's called)

Rece Davis: Did you just give him the finger?

Lou Holtz (who's hand is in a cast): no I gave him half the peace sign.

Sean H said...
Oct 4, 2009, 1:17:00 AM  

From the Arkansas-Texas A&M game, Mark Jones, to Bob Davie, "Ronnie Wingo: Takes the 'o' off of WIngo and you've got WINGS!"

kmo said...
Oct 4, 2009, 6:22:00 AM  

"He's got great arm talent." David Norrie

Rita said...
Oct 4, 2009, 1:49:00 PM  

I'm waiting for someone to say, "He came to play" so I can scream at the TV, "As opposed to baking cookies?"
As for this week's selections, Gary Danielson and Verne Lundquist are becoming the latest incarnation of Keith Jackson and (insert name of analyst here).

Steve Smith said...
Oct 5, 2009, 3:22:00 PM  

"Are you aware that last month the California Angels paid Locker $300,000 to play center field?"

-Brent Musburger regarding Jake Locker during Miami-OU game

John said...
Oct 6, 2009, 5:47:00 PM  

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