Pam Ward Chronicles: Week Six

Saturday, October 10, 2009



Sorry for the delay in getting the post up today. I'm actually on the road, but will be back for most of the afternoon and evening games. Help out as much as you can in the comments, and I'll see you all then.

Week Six Announcing Schedule
______________________________________

"The Arizona Defense is last in the SEC."- Bob Griese (via Jason)

"Youve got to put finger in dike, dam is about to burst." - Tim Brandt (via JGreul)

"This man is writing his own chapter in the book of fantastic."- Doc Walker (via JGreul)

"Spurnability out of the backfield."- Bob Rathbun (via Joe)

"...like Sharks to chum" - Chris Spielman
"I think that's the first time we've ever heard the word "chum" on a college football broadcast" - Dave Pasch
"Obviously you've never eaten at the Chum Bucket, operated by our good friend Plankton" - Chris Spielman
(via Ryan)

"Some father-daughter action. That's what it's all about."- Dave Lapham (via 49er)

"His friends in high school used to call him jetski, because of the way the dirt came off him."- David Norrie (via BSPN)

"Kinestetic...yeah i said it."- Matt Millen
"What does that mean exactly."- Sean McDonough
"Body part awareness. That's what that is. And if it didn't, it does now. I just made it up."- Matt Millen

"I can't root for Jimmie Johnson to win the Nextel Cup b/c of all of his Super Bowl wins."- Matt Millen (via Blunty)

"I'll tell you what muscles that's working. That's working the pectoralis majors and pectoralis minors."- Akbar Gbaja-Biamila as the Middies have to do 56 pushups after a score against Rice.

"Dive play. Greg Louganis is going to show up here soon."- Verne Lundquist

"Earl Thomas down the sideline. GOODBYE EARL!"- Brad Nessler with a Dixie Chicks reference

"He's a war-daddy."- Kirk Herbstreit

"If they don't stop Tebow, it's going to be a long afternoon."- Spencer Tillman at 9:30pm EST

"The Dodger swept the Cardinals in the National Championship Series." - Brent Musburger (via JFein)

"When speed goes in the wrong direction, that can be a bad thing. So when you have fast guys that run the wrong way fast, that's even worse than slow guys that run the wrong way slow."- Bob Davie

"Some kettle corn. And it's percolating and poppin' down on the field."- Mark Jones

Posted by Awful Announcing at 12:17 PM

99 Comments:

" The Arizona Defense is last in the SEC" Bob Griese.

Jason said...
Oct 10, 2009, 12:21:00 PM  

"He's the true definition of dirty."- Andre Ware

Talking about Tennessee player Eric Berry

49er16 said...
Oct 10, 2009, 12:28:00 PM  

"When you have engineering majors on the D-line, your standards are high" - Jason Seehorn on the admission standards at Vanderbilt.

Of course conveniently ignoring that Vandy's opponent Army, has some of the highest admission standards of any college in the country.

And Tim Brandt & Doc Walker at BC / VT, this ought to be good

jgreul said...
Oct 10, 2009, 12:30:00 PM  

"Youve got to put finger in dike, dam is about to burst." - Tim Brandt, on BC not being able to stop VT's rushing

jgreul said...
Oct 10, 2009, 12:33:00 PM  

" Their Last in Rush Offense in the SEC" Bob Griese he meant to say Defense

Jason said...
Oct 10, 2009, 12:35:00 PM  

"this man is writing his own chapter in the book of fantastic" -
Doc Walker after Tyrod taylor scrambles around then throws TD pass.

Taylor's running around for his life, the VT OL is standing around.


"He gets in the grill lifts him up and dump trucks him." - Doc Walker on a tackle.

jgreul said...
Oct 10, 2009, 12:39:00 PM  

"It's Big XII weather, it's big boy weather."-Dave Lapham

49er16 said...
Oct 10, 2009, 12:42:00 PM  

"He should be arrested for abuse by halftime." - Doc Walker on the play of one VT's O-lineman

jgreul said...
Oct 10, 2009, 12:46:00 PM  

"Don't be surprised if we are talking about a receiver for the Heisman."-Andre Ware

Um Andre, receivers have been nominated for the Heisman before and have even won.

49er16 said...
Oct 10, 2009, 12:49:00 PM  

Ugly sight in the JMU-Richmond game- UR's punter broke his ankle when it got rolled on by his own player.

UnHoly Diver said...
Oct 10, 2009, 12:50:00 PM  

" As Long as you dont use your cell phone in the car". Chris Speilman talking about Mark Martin being the in race reporter and driver in the Nascar race.

Jason said...
Oct 10, 2009, 12:56:00 PM  

BC playing the role of homecoming opponent quite well: Down 24-0 in 2nd qtr. BC just put 18 yr-old true freshman QB in game

jgreul said...
Oct 10, 2009, 1:01:00 PM  

" It's like a Jimmy Dykes Steal" Chris Speilman with a ESPN employee plug.

Jason said...
Oct 10, 2009, 1:04:00 PM  

"Arkansas needs to wake up or go home."-Spielman

Chris meant to say Auburn, but oh well.

49er16 said...
Oct 10, 2009, 1:05:00 PM  

"Our Chick-fil-A nugget of the game." Only in the South.

Joe said...
Oct 10, 2009, 1:09:00 PM  

"Bobby Bowden under a lot of pressure in Tallahassee" - Brandt with understatement of day

"And the homecoming parade has begun" - Brandt after VT runs INT back for TD.

"He should have thrown to the guy with the tuba in his hands." - Doc Walker on a replay of the same play.

jgreul said...
Oct 10, 2009, 1:11:00 PM  

Where's Steve Martin? Oh, he's doing that preseason game in Charleston.

Joe said...
Oct 10, 2009, 1:13:00 PM  

"That was like my hang time going to the hoop."-Andre Ware

49er16 said...
Oct 10, 2009, 1:14:00 PM  

"The monster is awake in Blacksburg. Its wearing maroon and orange." - Doc Walker after Brandt plugged a band named Monster whose latest album is called "Awake"

"He was coming with bad intentions" - Brandt on a safety blitz

jgreul said...
Oct 10, 2009, 1:15:00 PM  

Some poor camera work on the SC-KY game. They missed the ball on a kickoff, and the sideline reporter is wearing a blue blouse in Columbia.

Joe said...
Oct 10, 2009, 1:16:00 PM  

" If your long your never wrong" Chris Speilman that line is a classic.

Jason said...
Oct 10, 2009, 1:18:00 PM  

Bob Rathbun: "Spurnability out of the backfield."

Joe said...
Oct 10, 2009, 1:20:00 PM  

the Richmond-JMU game might be the best game going on right now

jgreul said...
Oct 10, 2009, 1:25:00 PM  

What a catch by Alshon Jeffery. One handed, without using the other hand. "A star is born in South Carolina (he's from SC)." Bob Rathbun.

Joe said...
Oct 10, 2009, 1:27:00 PM  

"...like Sharks to chum" - Spielman
"I think that's the first time we've ever heard the word "chum" on a college football broadcast" - Pasch
"Obviously you've never eaten at the Chum Bucket, operated by our good friend Plankton" - Spielman

Nice way to work Spongebob into the telecast

Ryan said...
Oct 10, 2009, 1:28:00 PM  

"Reesing back there reading the paper" - Whoever is doing PxP on Kansas / IA State, on the protection Kansas QB Todd Reesing got

jgreul said...
Oct 10, 2009, 1:30:00 PM  

"Not exactly as planned" - Joel Myers after Texas A & M Holder runs botched snap in for 2 pt conversion

jgreul said...
Oct 10, 2009, 1:35:00 PM  

They're doing a text poll on the SEC telecasts, with the greatest coach in SEC history.

Joe said...
Oct 10, 2009, 1:50:00 PM  

"Give him a "E" for effort."-Andre Ware

49er16 said...
Oct 10, 2009, 1:53:00 PM  

Bob Rathbun: "Raring to go in our studios is Fred Hickman."

Joe said...
Oct 10, 2009, 1:56:00 PM  

"Some father-daughter action. That's what it's all about."-Dave Lapham

49er16 said...
Oct 10, 2009, 1:59:00 PM  

"He wants to throw but he cant because he had a quilt wrapped around him"- Doc Walker after BC QB gets sacked

jgreul said...
Oct 10, 2009, 1:59:00 PM  

(Score: Arkansas 27, Auburn 3)
"The biggest surprise of the half is that Auburn didn't score any points."
--Bob Griese

AO said...
Oct 10, 2009, 2:00:00 PM  

Tough injury to Hartline on a pass in the South Carolina game.

Joe said...
Oct 10, 2009, 2:28:00 PM  

"Ninth punt of day. He is getting a little leg weary" - Tim Brandt on BC's punter

jgreul said...
Oct 10, 2009, 2:33:00 PM  

"He's writing his own chapter in the book of fantastic" -Doc Walker on Tyrod Taylor

Michael Felder said...
Oct 10, 2009, 2:41:00 PM  

After a 5-yard penalty on a 2pt conversion.
"The book says you still go for two." -Chris Fowler
"Yes. What is the one do for you?" -Craig James
"In case you got a safety." -Chris Fowler

Al Micro said...
Oct 10, 2009, 2:58:00 PM  

" No more peanut butter and jelly for Chris that makes him too hyper" Dave Pasch.

Jason said...
Oct 10, 2009, 3:01:00 PM  

"if i held my knife and fork like i hold my golf clubs i'd starve to death" Tim Brant

kt1000 said...
Oct 10, 2009, 3:19:00 PM  

Jeese, Tim Brant and Doc are not very good today.

Joe said...
Oct 10, 2009, 3:24:00 PM  

"He was very exposed there." - John Weaver, analyst of the D2 football game between East Stroudsburg and Bloomsburg on SportsFever TV

JFein said...
Oct 10, 2009, 3:37:00 PM  

"His friends in high school used to call him jetski, because of the way the dirt came off him" David Norrie

bspn said...
Oct 10, 2009, 3:58:00 PM  

Soccer but I'm putting it in this thread anyway.

Brazil's U-20 team defeated Germany's U-20 team 2-1 to advance to the semifinals of the FIFA U-20 World Cup.

After the final whistle.....


"Germany are going to the semifinals!" - Gary Bloom after Brazil won.

SSReporters said...
Oct 10, 2009, 4:02:00 PM  

"That's just penetration. That's Oregon wanting it more" David Norrie

bspn said...
Oct 10, 2009, 4:09:00 PM  

"Gonzalski has really found very nothing when it comes to running the footbal." - Jason Bristol, PbP guy in the aforementioned game.

JFein said...
Oct 10, 2009, 4:14:00 PM  

"He just waited and BOOM!, he hit the hole." - Jason Bristol

JFein said...
Oct 10, 2009, 4:22:00 PM  

"East Stroudsburg would have been better off not taking the penalty. Wait, it was a delay of game penalty, they had no choice." - John Weaver.

The punt with the delay of game was blown dead and who knows where ESU would have had the ball.

JFein said...
Oct 10, 2009, 4:42:00 PM  

"I can't root for Jimmie Johnson to win the Nextel Cup b/c of all of his Super Bowl wins" ---Matt Millen

bluntypants said...
Oct 10, 2009, 4:43:00 PM  

"He looked like he jumped off of a trampoline."-Bolerjack

49er16 said...
Oct 10, 2009, 4:56:00 PM  

Dave Lapham, that has to be one of the best ever. And topical to boot!

redbird said...
Oct 10, 2009, 5:47:00 PM  

"Superman flying high."-Bolerjack

49er16 said...
Oct 10, 2009, 5:50:00 PM  

"I'm not one to second guess, but I do have opinions." - Steve Buerelein

I'm pretty sure that Lapham wins this week hands down.

JFein said...
Oct 10, 2009, 6:15:00 PM  

Exciting finish in the UConn-Pitt game.

Joe said...
Oct 10, 2009, 6:42:00 PM  

I am suprised Pam Ward didnt show up in the quotes so far. Did anyone want to watch the Purdue Minnesota game today?

Jason said...
Oct 10, 2009, 6:50:00 PM  

"When you lose close games, you can lose your football team." Ray Bentley.

Joe said...
Oct 10, 2009, 6:57:00 PM  

" Archie has been cleared for halftime of the Florida LSU game". Tim Brando.

Jason said...
Oct 10, 2009, 6:58:00 PM  

Pam Ward was calling the University of Minnesota "The U." I didn't know they had that nickname.

Joe said...
Oct 10, 2009, 7:03:00 PM  

The weather front in Denver must be very small. I saw a weather map a few minutes ago, 55 degrees in Provo, 71 in Alberqerque, 29 in Denver. I know game was postponed for tonight.

And nice move NHL scheduling Washington / Detroit for a Saturday night in middle of football season.

At least Im spared having to watch the new and interesting way my Twerps will lose tonight.

jgreul said...
Oct 10, 2009, 7:04:00 PM  

Now he whips it out to John Childs.
--Brad Nessler

AO said...
Oct 10, 2009, 7:36:00 PM  

Texas is pulling a USC

jgreul said...
Oct 10, 2009, 8:02:00 PM  

"I don't know what Longhorn they will credit with the tackle, but I think it was the turf monkey." - Todd Blackledge

JFein said...
Oct 10, 2009, 8:03:00 PM  

What is a turf monkey?

Oct 10, 2009, 8:04:00 PM  

"Im not sure who will get credit for tackle, but I think it was turf monkey" - Blackledge after Colorado RB trips with no one near him

jgreul said...
Oct 10, 2009, 8:04:00 PM  

Tim Tebow will start and we'll return - Verne heading to commercial

jgreul said...
Oct 10, 2009, 8:09:00 PM  

Drink every time Verne and Gary gush over Tebow.

Oct 10, 2009, 8:11:00 PM  

@ AA: I'm not quite sure what a turf monkey is.....

JFein said...
Oct 10, 2009, 8:14:00 PM  

"When we come back, Timothy Tebow will be at quarterback." - Verne Lundquist

Kill me now.

JFein said...
Oct 10, 2009, 8:16:00 PM  

Wow....LSU is amped.

Oct 10, 2009, 8:20:00 PM  

@AA 8:11

I MIGHT be sober by the time I have to go work Monday morning if I do that.

@JFein

should see posts at collegefootballtalk.com about Tebow

jgreul said...
Oct 10, 2009, 8:21:00 PM  

Uncle Gary had the excuse all set up for that potential delay of game.

JFein said...
Oct 10, 2009, 8:22:00 PM  

" I am no mathmatechian but it is better to be down 21 then 28" Barry Tompkins trying to make the Oregon State asswhipping seem better.

Jason said...
Oct 10, 2009, 8:26:00 PM  

"This is usually Tebow Time." - Gary Danielson on a Florida 3rd and short.

It ended up being a handoff.

JFein said...
Oct 10, 2009, 8:27:00 PM  

"Tebow has to freelance." - Verne Lundquist

JFein said...
Oct 10, 2009, 8:32:00 PM  

"Who do you like in the Oakland-New York game?"-Gary

Laughs by both guys

"Oakland. Not!"-Verne

49er16 said...
Oct 10, 2009, 8:37:00 PM  

Twerps stink down 35-10 at half.

Switched to TCU- Air Force during commercial, you can see players breath.

jgreul said...
Oct 10, 2009, 8:37:00 PM  

"That's right the other Heisman candidate fumbled it." - Tim Brando doing his part to campaign for Tim Tebow while showing the Colorado TD that was set up by a Colt McCoy fumble.

JFein said...
Oct 10, 2009, 8:39:00 PM  

It was snowing in Denver earlier today.

Joe said...
Oct 10, 2009, 8:45:00 PM  

"3rd and 3. Normally this is Tebow time. And it's a dive play." - Verne Lundquist

JFein said...
Oct 10, 2009, 8:55:00 PM  

"14-10 Meechigan. Back to you." - Tim Brando

JFein said...
Oct 10, 2009, 9:01:00 PM  

Tebow Time is the phrase du jour

Oct 10, 2009, 9:01:00 PM  

Wow, the ball just slipped out of Tate Forcier's hand!

Joe said...
Oct 10, 2009, 9:02:00 PM  

Listening to the Bobcats play the Cavaliers at my local arena in Charleston. Very interesting.

Joe said...
Oct 10, 2009, 9:12:00 PM  

"Landing on his feet is always a good thing." Kirk Herbstreit.

Joe said...
Oct 10, 2009, 9:22:00 PM  

Highlights from a 1959 game and no cracks about Verne being there ?

Very disappointed

jgreul said...
Oct 10, 2009, 9:25:00 PM  

"Oh my god!" about not being allowed to have a texted in answer for the last team to beat Iowa. Kirk Herbstreit.

Joe said...
Oct 10, 2009, 9:25:00 PM  

Why the hell is Danielson still talking about his "only sport where you can get the ball after scoring" theory? It makes no sense.

redbird said...
Oct 10, 2009, 9:29:00 PM  

"He's a war-daddy." Herbstreit talking about a player on Michigan's defense.

Joe said...
Oct 10, 2009, 9:32:00 PM  

Gary Danielson also pulled some number out of his ass, saying something to the extent of "when you get 3rd and 2 against Tebow you concede the first down almost 99 percent of the time."

Ted McCarver said...
Oct 10, 2009, 9:32:00 PM  

Spencer Tillman- "If they don't stop Tebow, it's going to be a long afternoon." It's a night game!

Joe said...
Oct 10, 2009, 9:34:00 PM  

"The Dodger swept the Cardinals in the National Championship Series." - Brent Musburger

JFein said...
Oct 10, 2009, 9:42:00 PM  
This comment has been removed by the author.
Joe said...
Oct 10, 2009, 9:45:00 PM  

"Let's go to big John Saunders and smooth Jesse Palmer in the Times Square studios." Brent Musburger.

Joe said...
Oct 10, 2009, 9:46:00 PM  

Musberger, regarding a penalty on Iowa before a FG attempt, moving the attempt back to 53 yards: "48 yards would have been his career long, but now he has to attempt a career-career long'

Erm? Career-career?

Dan said...
Oct 10, 2009, 9:46:00 PM  

Mark Jones:
"Stop is a four letter word tonight."

Alex F said...
Oct 11, 2009, 12:34:00 AM  

Mark Jones: "...disemboweling the defense."

Alex F said...
Oct 11, 2009, 12:44:00 AM  

Heard during the Hofstra broadcast. Yes, Hofstra was on TV, and I watched some of it.

"It's a pile of humanity in there, and no one is getting off without the ball. You need strong hands. You gotta work on your finger exercises." - I don't remember the announcer, explaining what happens in a fumble scrum.

Patrick said...
Oct 11, 2009, 9:20:00 AM  

Chris Spielman is becoming Rudy Martzke Memorial All Cliche Hall of Fame material with "If you're long you're never wrong" line. It's been six weeks and it's tired already.

JamesCraven said...
Oct 11, 2009, 12:29:00 PM  

Granted, it's very hard to speak off the cuff for 3 1/2 hours at a time, unless you're Vin Scully of the Dodgers.
But some of these things are a case of announcers (Mark Jones, in particular) trying to sound smarter than they really are.

Steve Smith said...
Oct 12, 2009, 2:30:00 PM  

Brandon Minor is a very durable back, when he's healthy.- Kirk Herbstreit

I bet Fred Taylor is durable too when he's healthy.

MGoBlogs said...
Oct 12, 2009, 10:16:00 PM  

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