I don't know if you can really be happy at someone else's expense when they're sick, but just the same Bryant Gumbel will be out for this Thursday's game between the Broncos and Texans. Via the Houston Chronicle...

NFL Network play-by-play announcer Bryant Gumbel is suffering from a sore throat and will be replaced by Tom Hammond for Thursday's Broncos-Texans broadcast at Reliant Stadium, a network spokesman said Tuesday.

Hammond will join Cris Collinsworth, with whom he called a playoff game last year for NBC, for the NFL Network broadcast, said network spokesman Seth Palansky.

Tom Hammond should fit in nicely because he's been covering one crappy Football team all year in Notre Dame. Two should be no problem. I kid I kid. Gumbel is resting his voice for this Saturday Night's contest between the Bengals and 9ers. While I don't like when other people suffer....the possibility of a game in which a congested Gumbel is working with Deion Sanders and Marshall Faulk could be gold.

Gumbel to miss Thursday's Broncos-Texans broadcast (Houston Chronicle)

(Thanks to IANJ for the link)

27-17 to start the 2nd half, and if Bryant Gumbel keeps this up we'll all be asleep part of the way through the third.

Is it just me or does Adam Schefter look like Bill Simmons' doppelganger?

Miles Austin has a nice return and almost took the 2nd half kick all the way. Crosby tackled him at the 44. Favre isn't out of the locker room yet.

A pass interference penalty and a J Jones run gets the Cowboys into Packers' territory. Favre appears with a sleeve and he might be coming back into this thing. That would be really dumb considering this game doesn't really mean much in the Playoff picture.

Romo hits Witten for an 8 yard game and the Cowboys are short of a first and they're going for it on 4th down. No good.

"Stuffed in the hole."- Bryant Gumbel

Rodgers is sacked on first down, and Gumbel is driving me insane. Rodgers is looking damn good as he hits Driver on third down and follows that with a big run and a scrambling pass to Lee. Packers ball at the 25.

The Cowboys bail out Rodgers with a facemask penalty on a sack, and a Rodgers pass to Driver has it inside the five. A pass to Kuhn gets it close to the goal line, and a nice tackle saves the TD. But it's a first down.

"John Perry says that's close enough for government work."- Bryant Gumbel describing the ref measuring for the first down.

TOUCHDOWN PACK! Ryan Grant!!!

27-24 'Boys.

Cowboys ball at the 20. Romo throws a screen to Witten for negative yards, and they follow with another screen for even more negative yards. 3rd and long....Delay of Game and the Packers Fans are getting into it! 3rd and 19...

Damn....Romo somehow finds Crayton after rolling out. First down. And Jerry Jones has made his way down to the sidelines. Barber gets a nice run around outside and a facemask penalty will bump that another 15.

"And the Packers are starting to get frisky here!" - Dick Enberg, on the radio (Via S2N

What I wouldn't give for you tonight Dick.....Umm wait....what did I just say?

Owens bobbles a pass out of bounds that the refs call a catch, and GB challenges and it's overturned. Owens catches another for 9 yards and it's 3rd and 1 at the 20...

Barber runs it inside the 5. God he is a beast. A delay of game sends it back 5 though and it's 1st and goal for the Cowboys. End of the third.....

Barber for a short gain on first, and a pass to Owens....Touch......WAIT!!!!!!!! Owens drops it, flips it up in the air and Al Harris picks it off!!!!!!!!

"Maybe it was all that butter from the Popcorn from earlier."- Bryant Gumbel

Good one Gumby. First down pass to Jennings on the slant. A few plays later the Cowboys pick up a sack and the Packers punt with 12 minutes left.

Holy shit....the Celtics beat the Knicks 104-50!!!

Romo hits Witten on two passes by the second is coming back on a hold. Another pass to Witten gets it closer to a first....3rd and 8 and the Packers finally hit Romo. Witten gets it yet again and another first. He's open every play and AJ Hawk is saying he pushed off.

Deep ball to Austin....he's tripped up. No call....wait....the refs discuss the play and throw a flag after all. That was a pretty bad call. There was a bit of contact but Austin just got tripped up.

Incomplete pass on first and Barber gets nothing on 2nd. 3rd and Goal.....

TOUCHDOWN COWBOYS.....Patrick Crayton from Romo.

34-24

Wait....did the NFL Network just run a commercial for the Colts-Falcons game??? Yes, yes they did. Hilarious.

Rodgers to Driver on first, and Aaron runs for a first down. A pass to Driver gets another first into Cowboys territory. Deep pass to Jennings is incomplete, and it's 2nd and 10. Koren Robinson gets a screen and a nice run and it'll be 3rd and 1. Grant picks up the first with about 5 minutes left.

Wait no....the spot is short. He really looked like he had it and the refs are completely hosing the Packers tonight. They elect to kick a looooong field goal....

Mason Crosby nails the 50+ yarder and it's a one TD game....

34-27

Austin gets it out to about the 40 and he's turning into a pretty good return guy. Barber picks up a few, and follows that with a big pass to Witten for a first down into Packer territory.

Barber with a short gain, but face mask penalty adds another 15.

"You can't rip someone's helmet off at this point in the game."- Cris Collinsworth

Is it ever okay?

Barber picks up 6 or 7 on first down and the Packers call Timeout....their 2nd. 3 minutes to go. MBIII for the first down and that might rap it up unless the Packers let the 'Boys score. Barber for a short gain and we're at the two minute warning.

Barber is short of the first on third down and Nick Folk for the FG at the one minute mark.....Good.

37-27.

"And Williams gets baptized at the twenty yard line."- Bryant Gumbel

Um what?

Rodgers hits Driver and Jennings to get the ball to the 45. 4th down....incomplete. Valiant effort by Aaron Rodgers but the Refs, er Cowboys prove to be too much.

Special thanks goes to Bryant Gumbel for making me want to pass out the entire game and it was good to have you tonight. I'd like to say I'll be live-blogging next week's game, but I don't know if I can take this boredom again.

37-27 Cowboys.

I know that these collaborations are necessary for funds, but could would we please stop incorporating them into the intros? How cheesy is this???

"Centuries removed."- Bob Costas

Would have loved if you kept it that way. That book sucked ass to read, and anyone who says different is full of it.

(If you don't get the title please email me and I'll fill you in. No need to re-post the video again.)

I can't really find fault in the whole NBC "Going Green" thing (because it's obviously a good thing), but was there possibly a way they could have been less annoying with the process? I for one immediately think of doing the opposite when Bob Costas tell me what to do, but that's just me. Glow sticks, 20 minutes of no lights, and Matt Lauer at the North Pole....makes me want to change the world!

I think the best line I've read about last night came from the Realests....

"We're thinking of having Cris Collinsworth wear a miner's helmet with a light," says show producer Michael Weisman, seemingly serious. "And have candles. Or maybe Glow Sticks." Weisman added that "We're opening ourselves up for ridicule and sarcasm."

You mean by turning your halftime show into a rave? Really, you think? We have a better idea to go green: Turn off Football Night in America. Man, we're geniuses.

I agree. The whole time I was just begging them to turn the power to their mics off as well. You know what else would help the earth. If you nixed half of your "Studio Team" and donated their salaries to "Save the Rain Forests" or whichever charity was "in" at the time.

"Sunday Night Is Football Night In America" is the worst studio show in Sports, and that's saying a lot when Emmitt Smith is your competition.

Crap Night In America Just Got Worse (The Realests)
NBC studio show holds creepy vigil for crappy season (The Sports Hernia)

So the first game of the NFL Season is under our collective belt, and just like I do with the Monday Nighter each week I'm going to give a little review and grading. If you disagree or have something to add feel free to do so in the comments.

Olbermann aside (I'll get a final word in on that shortly) I thought it was a great broadcast. I could have done without Rich Eisen to start the show, but as a whole NBC showed why the have the best game coverage in the business.

Sure Madden gets a little crazy when it goes past his bedtime, but that's always enjoyable. I thought Michaels did an excellent job of calling a game that turned into a blowout quickly in the 2nd half. I also didn't notice any of the new fancy technology, which is probably a good thing.

Game Coverage and Announcers: B-

Announcing Quotes of the Night:

"If you start the contact in an legal position and end up in an illegal position....it's legal."- John Madden
"I'll buy that."- Al Michaels

"Well that's the Chicken Fry"- John Madden
"It's Something Fried"- Al Michaels
"Chicken Fried isn't chicken....they just beat the meat and throw it in a fryer."- John Madden
"It's a lot of fat grams whatever it is."- Al Michaels

"Basically every week you're going to do a commentary every week, and then back track the next week."- Chris Collinsworth

Commenter Quotes of the Night:

"Does Al still think he's fooling us into thinking he's the same height as Madden? It's been 5 years Al. We know you're standing on something."- Student of the Game

"Jeff Saturday looks like Ron Jeremy with a Helmet on."- OilCanBoyd

Pregame Show Grade: B, I missed Kelly Clarkson, but Faith Hill wasn't bad and the fact that JCM didn't play Ouuuur Country is grounds enough for a high grade.

The Halftime Show:

I'll keep this quick since everything that needed to be said was done so in the comments of the video post, buuuuut I wanted to get a few things straight.

I like Bob Costas, I actually can stand Jerome Bettis, I think no other writer has as much access as Peter King, and I think Chris Collinsworth needs to still be in a booth somewhere. I also generally like Keith Olbermann, but this segment of his is just an abomination. I'm sorry but it has to be said.

I went back and watched the video and they had two points about the first half. Tiki mentioned Saints Corner Jason David for about 20 seconds, and Chris Collinsworth had a minute to talk before they went to Olbermann's piece. They didn't even have their whole team in the studio. Here's a question.....

What the hell are the going to do when they have Peter King and Jerome Bettis filling out the room? There's going to be games where one or more people aren't even going to get to talk! I'm sorry, but like I said before....if you don't see this as a blatant ad for Olbermann's show than I don't know what to tell you.

Halftime Grade: D, Would have been an F if it wasn't for Collinsworth trashing Olbermann.

Overall: C+, I'm trying not to let 5 minutes ruin an entire broadcast

God. I don't even know where to start. We had about a minute and a half of highlights of the actual game followed by Keith Olbermann ragging on himself and introducing some random bat phone. Can we say failure now, or should I give it a couple of weeks???

The ONLY redeeming quality about this whole thing is Chris Collinsworth just absolutely clowning everyone on the set each week. Someone needs to get him his own show. Perhaps a political commentary show? I know someone who needs to be put out to pasture.

Update: Just to clarify....I'm not looking for a day's worth of highlights like some of you have hinted at. I'm looking for a breakdown of the first half....that's it. If Keith is going to do this promo for his show every week, then there's no room for any analysis regarding the game at hand.

Someone in the comments mentioned that "haven't most football fans seen all of the day's highlights by the time halftime on Sunday night comes around". Great point.....hasn't everyone in the g'damn world seen the back story on anyone he could bring up as the "worst person in the world"!?!

It's all old news, and it's pointless. You can see why Chris Collinsworth is already annoyed with the whole thing. Why? Because he knows something about Football AND the game that was taking place on the station we were all watching.

More on this tomorrow....

What it is...I have no idea. Maybe it's just me, but I'd like my Football with a little less anger. It is just a "game" after all. I don't care if we are talking about Mike Vick....no one ever needs to be THIS serious....

I'm so confused. So I'm supposed to hope that Vick comes back soon why? Because jail sucks? Isn't that the whole point? Someone help me out here.

Also, Jerome Bettis' orchestrated explanation of how he wasn't calling Coach Cowherd out was the biggest hunk of garbage ever. I can't believe I'm saying this, but....

Can I have Peter King back?

Ding! Here's Jon Stewart's take on NBC Sports' coverage of the Michael Vick case. Enjoy...

Oh Tiki....they hate you already. And I forgot who said this in the comments yesterday, but I agree....this site could have been created "solely for the purpose of destroying Tiki Barber".

(Thanks to Jason at Ballhype for the tip.)

P.S.- SNIFNIAON stands for "Sunday Night Is Football Night In America On NBC". Just combined the two slogans to make it "easier" for everyone.

Sunday Night Is Football Night! Sunday Night is Football Night!

It's like a cancer.....you will hear that slogan until you want to rip your ears off. To tell you the truth ....I don't even mind it. I don't mind it because NBC could have Jerome Bettis and Peter King strip at halftime and I'd still watch.

Here's all you really need to know.....

1. NBC has the best schedule of teams all year long.
2. Even though Madden and Michaels are old as hell, they get a free pass (to some degree) unless Michaels is complaining about Indoor fireworks.
3. As random as the Studio Show is....it's still the best in the business. It's the only one that actually talks about Football (Frank Caliendo dressing up and making jokes about Bradshaw does not count).
4. The Flex Scheduling

Sure they have about 10,000 people for the Studio Show, John Madden isn't always sure what city he's in, Al Michaels seems bored with life, and Andrea Kramer is way too giddy for my tastes.....But they're still better than any other collection a Network could put together. Who cares if it's a little over the top.
____________________________


Overall Network Pre-Season Grade: B/B+

Pre-Season Announcing Team Grade: B- (It will most certainly drop when Al Michaels flips out on the production crew. It almost happened last night when they lost all 12 monitors.....let that happen Week 6.)

9 Folks For One Game
King Takes Dumps On Madden's Bus
Tiki Hazed by Smell
________________________

CBS' preview will be coming at a later date. I only got to watch about 5 minutes of Friday's game. Gus Johnson did seem a little too excited for a Pre-Season game. He's much better in Basketball if you ask me.

I missed this the other day as the schedules were being released, but apparently Bryant Gumbel is heading back into the booth. The NFL Network has decided to ignore the pleas of this site, and.....well everyone.....and will keep Gumbel as their PBP'er for next year.

Bryant Gumbel (play-by-play) and Cris Collinsworth (analyst) will call the games on NFL Network. Collinsworth earned a Sports Emmy nomination as "Outstanding Event Analyst" for his work on NFL Network games in 2006. Each NFL Network telecast will feature a live, two-hour pregame show from the host city, providing a unique feel for the atmosphere surrounding the event. In addition, a one-hour postgame show will wrap-up the action with interviews, highlights and press conferences.

It just kills me that they are doing this when they had the a great team in Nessler, Jaworski, and Vermeil. Even the Jaws is gone Nessler, Vermeil, and Collinsworth would be a great team. Oh well...break out the Pepto and get back in there B-Gums.

NFL Network 2007 (NFL.com)