I completely forgot that the BDSSP's sitdown with Al Michaels and Jim Nantz was last night until the little reminder popped up on the television. I was switching back and forth between that and Inside the NBA, but I decided to take down a few notes and quotes.

The two were on set with Chris Rose and John Salley and the hosts took them through a series of planned questions for about 40 minutes. They covered everything from their first jobs (Al- Hawaiian Minor League Baseball, Jim- Phi Slamma Jamma) to their memorable calls all while little topic headlines would show up on the bottom of the screen.

It seemed a tad bit contrived, but on the whole it was a good set of stories and praise. Here are the highlights....
________________________

Al Michaels on the "Do you believe in Miracles?" call:

“I’m in the third person now when I watch that.”
“I don’t see anything ever topping that.”

Al Michaels on how he prepares in the booth:

“What I’ve always tried to do, is to always think of myself in the booth, but putting myself on my couch. So even though I’m the one doing the announcing or narrating, I try to envision myself on my coach at home and in effect talking to myself.”
“I don’t think we ever pitch a perfect game and we’re the luckiest people in the World.”

Al Michaels on the SF Earthquake:

“Just for a moment I thought we were going to be pitched out of the booth. It was just 15 seconds but in an earthquake that feels like 5 minutes."

Al on Jim's connection to Golf:

“How much do you watch Jim Nantz do his thing?”- Chris Rose to Al Michaels
“I think Jim has become just the quintessential voice of Golf. It’s almost the perfect melding of a man and his Sport.”- Al Michaels

Jim and Al on prepared calls:

“You go into the night with a nine shot lead, you better believe I planned that.”- Nantz
“Does win for the ages come with an asterisk now?”- Michaels
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I would have pulled video but there was nothing really worth adding here. It's definitely worth a watch if you come across a replay, and I'm enjoying the BDSSP's new format more and more each viewing.

Finally found the video of Dickie V's interview with Jim Nantz and thought I would share it with you all....

It's really okay for grown men to cry, but when you start to blubber you might want to tone it down. That close up was pretty scary.

Vitale gets awkwardly emotional (Wildcat Blitz)

Yep. Jim Nantz doesn't prepare these things ahead of time at all. With that established I thought that Nantzy did a pretty great job tonight. During the Chalmers three he finally showed raw emotion and let himself go. It only took an overtime game in the National Championship but it still happened. My advice to you Jim, remember that feeling and try to relive it.

Billy Packer is another subject that I'll delve into tomorrow morning. Until then, enjoy your ultra extended highlight edition of the final moments of the 2008 National Championship......

If you have any thoughts on Nantz and Packer leave them in the comments and I'll be sure to credit you in the review coming later today. Great game.

Kansas vs. Memphis
9:21 PM ET, April 7, 2008
Alamodome, San Antonio, TX (CBS)
Announcers: Jim Nantz and Bill Packer
Spread: Memphis -2, O/U 148

The Championship is finally upon us after a month of madness, and this matchup should be great one. Both teams love to run and this game could ultimately get up into the 80s if each team's stars are on their game tonight. Should be fun. I'll see you around 9pm tonight for the open thread. Feel free to leave your predictions and thoughts in the comments below.

AA's Picks- Memphis -2, MVP: CDR, Final Score: Memphis 78-Kansas 72
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While you're waiting for the game to start feel free to create a caption for the Photo of the Day......


Picks via Anon....

John Clayton-Memphis
John Kruk-Memphis
J.A. Adande-Kansas
Buster Olney-Memphis
Hubert Davis-Kansas
Dick Vitale-Memphis
Bob Knight-Memphis
Digger Phelps-Memphis
Jay Bilas-Kansas

Strange exchange on the ESPN pregame show. They're talking about defense, so Knight starts waxing poetic about defending the Alamo, and he wraps up by saying, "They played 13 days of defense; they only need 40 minutes." (Via WM)

Thank god Larry Brown is there. We needed another Coach to talk about....well coaching.

"I've written all kinds of stuff that I posted in the locker room."- Bob Knight

Hahaha....that's too funny.

"Can I play for you?"- Dick Vitale
"No."- Bob Knight

"Can we get back in this century please?!"- Jay Bilas

"I think will decide it is what you have on card number 732 here, and that's protecting the ball."- Jay Bilas

Man he is testy today.

"My game changer is going to be defense."- Bob Knight

Ummm....it was supposed to be a person, but okay. Wow and Shelley Smith just completely botched that live piece. Hilarious.

"A confluence of dreams and hopes and ultimately a Championship!"- Jim Nantz

Yeah that wasn't prepared at all. Hello friends!

At least they played the National Anthem...20 minutes before tip-off and during Two And A Half Men. (Via Anon)

Gotta love it and the CBS Studio Team is still in NYC. Good move CBS.

"They've been salivating all Tournament long and Pavlov just rang the bell again."- Greg Gumbel on Davis and Kellogg

Sam Ryan is just downright gorgeous. So the WKU buzzer beater was the Pontiac game changing performance and it got them a $100K contract. Being a Pontiac owner I can safely say that they could have afforded more.

Oooh I like the signatures during the player introductions. Nice touch CBS.


Here we go.....Memphis gets the tip and Dorsey hits the first shot of the game and then Rush gets blasted by Anderson. Good foul though as Rush hits one out of two.

Having Nantz announce the lineups is one of the dumbest ideas I've ever seen. It all but kills any excitement for the game. (Via Anon)

Agreed. It would probably be cool with any other announcer though. Well besides Joe Buck. Rose....and one. 9-3 Memphis early. Hi Shelley Smith! Are you ready for your spotlight???

And that's our first TV Timeout. Pretty crazy pace in the early going. Memphis with the "Dolly Parton" early. Shaka Kaun....Shaka Kaun, Shaka Kaun, Shaka Kaun....on the oop.

Why in the holy hell is Ed Hightower officiating the national title game? (Via Matt)

That's a good question. I think the NCAAs have a system where the top rated officials in each round go on to the next. I could be wrong though. CDR hits a circus shot and Memphis is back up by two. Taggart picks up two quick fouls and he's heading back to the bench. We're tied again at the under 12.

"Memphis, with the big lead of 6, but we're tied."- Jim Nantz (Via Andrew)

"He gave him a little lingo."- Billy Packer after Dorsey's dunk

Dozier hits a three after another Kansas run and the KU lead is 3 at the under eight TV timeout. Intense game.

"They said it was impossible for all four number one seeds to make the Final Four but they also said it was impossible to get real Coke taste and zero calories."- Jim Nantz

Roy Williams is a traitor (Traitor! Traitor!) and wearing a KU button. And CDR hits a three to give Memphis the lead again after an amazing Dorsey block. Collins hits a tough floater and we're tied again. Dorsey is arguing a call and just gave up on defense there. Not a heady play. 5 minutes left.

CDR again! He's got thirteen and we're tied....again.

Roy Williams is like the guy who gets married but keeps showing up at his ex-girlfriend's workplace. (Via Thermocaster)

"Where is Derek Rose?"- Jim Nantz

Good point. He hasn't taken a shot in forever and has about four turnovers at this point. 3 point Kansas lead with 1:43 to go. Really bad offensive set by Memphis at the end of the half and they're down 5 at the half.

33-28. So much for the high scoring affair that I predicted.

And we're baaaaack! Band shot....drink. Memphis gets the ball to start the 2nd half. And just like that we're tied.

"He's like the quiet assassin."- Billy Packer

As opposed to the loud one? Also, can someone explain to me what Joey Dorsey is doing? He's playing like an idiot right now. Kansas by one at the under 16 TV timeout. Crazy start to the half.

You know, for everything else wrong about him, Billy Packer really does do a great job of quickly getting away from the different promos that Nantz reads, which all too often Nantz seems to be too excited about. (Via Willmott)

I agree but he's also not calling out Joey Dorsey for acting like a g'damn idiot this game. Everyone can see he's loafing and pouting every play and they haven't mentioned it once.

"I'm going to start giving some credit to the Kansas defenders."- Billy Packer

Yeah they're holding Rose to nothing....you think you should? Rush looks good and should probably be getting more touches. Kansas breaks out the Box and 1 and Packer is all over it.....about three trips down the floor too late.

"Both coaches met their wives in, of all places, Lawrence, Kansas."- Jim Nantz (Via Mal)

Wow. Way to just insult every Kansan in one comment. Also, here's your turning point. Kansas decides to switch to the box and one with 8 minutes left, leaving Memphis with the open threes they haven't seen all game. Tigers up two.

Rose is heating up....forget that. He's heated. 12, 5, and 7 right now.

Kansas is shooting 3's tonight about as good as Chuck shoots tiny hoops. Chuck - he's such an idiot. (Via Mal)

Hahahaha....now that's funny.

"He's so much more effective with no screens."- Billy Packer as Rose bricks a shot

Okay, Billy I take it back. In the open court Rose drives and gets the and one on a circus shot. The kid is taking over.

Memphis really does have the ugliest band in America. I need some eye bleach and a picture of the UCLA cheerleaders after seeing that group. (Via Thermocaster)

I know and they only show them. Is Kansas' band not there? Hack a Memphis is in play with Kansas down seven with 2 minutes left. Dozier to the line.

"Bangs them both. Nine point bulge now."- Jim Nantz

"That's the worst shot you can take in Basketball at this time. One foot out and you've got a three."- Billy Packer

Okaaaaay. There's two minutes left and you're putting arugably the worst free throw shooting team in America on the line. Now Billy is asking for a three down six with 1:30 left. I would hate for him to be the coach of my team.

Kansas fouling technique works and after a CDR miss they cut it to two. Here we go. No fouling now.

Wow....wow. That should/could have been a technical. I never knew that it mattered who you were mad at when spiking the ball Billy Packer.

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! OT! Super Nintendo Chalmers!!!!

Kansas is up two early on a B Rush layup and Arthur throws an oop down. They do that play about 10 times a game. An Anderson missed three and KU has this in control with 3 left.

I can't even keep up and enjoy the game so everyone just watch and we'll sort this out afterwards with videos and comments. Amazing.

"ROCK CHALK CHAMPIONSHIP!"- Jim Nantz

Dammit....can't believe I didn't think of that one!!!! Chalmers is your MOP and I'll start getting the videos up soon. Awesome end of the game.

"Rock, Chalk, Championship Jayhawks!" (Via SS Reporters)

WINNAH!

I read an interview with Jim Nantz once where said he honestly doesn't prepare his "Championship Calls" beforehand. With the NCAA Championship tonight and the Masters this weekend he's got a lot of stuff to "not prepare" for. Or has he already planned them out?

According to this quote from a CBS conference call regarding the Masters it appears that he does think them out in advance....

Nantz: I feel a tremendous amount of responsibility to put the right caption and the right story and the right description of what this means within that players heart. They have dreamt of that moment since they were a little boy and they wanted to go the Augusta and win there. And I do feel like I owe it to them to be on top of my game and be able to tell their story in an accurate fashion, to be able to reflect exactly what they are feeling at that moment. I have stories about certain players, anecdotal stuff that I've never used. I'm holding it back for the thought that one day they might win the Masters and if that moment arrives on Sunday, I'm going to tell a story that has never been told before.

Aww that's sweet. Although it makes you come across as disingenuous and not "in the moment", but whatever works for you. In related news....what do you think his call for the winner of tonight's game will be. My predictions are "And the Tigers roar all the way to the Championship!" or "We're not in Kansas anymore Toto, but Kansas IS the National Champion here in San Antonio!" I think the second one is definitely a winner....someone send that to Nantzy.

(Quote via CBS PR)

UCLA vs. Memphis (6:07pm)- Jim Nantz and Billy Packer (Spread: Memphis -2)
UNC vs. Kansas (8:47pm)- Jim Nantz and Billy Packer (Spread: UNC -4)

The Final Four is finally upon us and I'll once again be absent. I plan on making up for all the absences this Monday night though for the Open Thread to end all open threads. Until then...feel free to add your picks and our quotes in the comments and I'll piece through them tomorrow.

Enjoy the games! (Also is it weird to anyone else that the CBS team is New York still? Odd. Oh well.)

Picks:

Jay- UCLA and Kansas
Hubert- Memphis and UNC
Dick- UCLA and UNC
Bob- Memphis and UNC
Digger- Memphis and UNC
AA- Memphis and UNC

Texas vs. Memphis (Houston, 2:20pm)- Jim Nantz and Billy Packer
Kansas vs. Davidson (Detroit, 5:05pm)- Gus Johnson and Len Elmore

Sorry for the delay in getting the post up today, but I'm in for the long haul now. Memphis seems to be well in control of this game and radio play-by-play man Brad Sham seemed none too happy about it. Let me know what I missed.

So apparently Jay Bilas really like Tyler Hansbrough and Dick Enberg said rape at some point. I'm going to have to go back and watch that game again.

I hate this...I had Texas winning it all. (Via SS Reporters)

I had Stanford in the Championship soooooooo. Also, what's with all of the dead air today. Nantz can't seem to come up with anything to talk about.

Nantz: "I think Texas should begin the hacking process." The hacking process for Nantz & Packer starts when they speak. (Via Anon)

"If they were going to go into the hack a Shaq then they would have had to of done it a lot earlier."- Billy Packer

They started with like six minutes left. When would you have like them to start Billy? At the start of the half???

"This is going to be a long three minutes here."- Billy Packer

Tell us about it Billy.

"You don't want to start annoying your own fans."- Billy Packer on Rick Barnes fouling down 16 with 40 seconds left.

Speaking of ESPN, tonight's Sunday Conversation has Rece Davis interviewing Knight, Parcells and LaRussa. Could you all join me in prayer for a well-placed meteor. (Via Mal)

Seriously. I saw the press release last week and didn't even want to bother posting on it. I like how TBL called them "The Grump, The Meanie, and The Drunk".

Okay now the fun starts.....Let's go Cats! And Bill Self is making substitutions two minutes into the game.

"Rush, Rise and Fire."- Gus Johnson

That never gets old.

"The scoreboard has gone blank right now Davidson and Kansas have yet to score a point according to the scoreboard. It's been a slow pace, but not that slow."- Gus Johnson

The under for the first half is a mortal lock. (Via Ed)

Winnah!

"Curry again....RING IT."- Gus Johnson

That drive was ridiculous. The kid has 8 points in a minute.

Did Gus just say, "The white lobster" when that whitey chucked a trey bomb? (Via Brett)

Yeah, it's the kid's nickname for some reason.

"Kansas goes to the zone. Looks like a box and one."- Gus Johnson

See. He doesn't just yell. He's insightful too.

"As Anderson Hunt, Anderson Anderson, Antonio Anderson banks in a three."- Clark Kellogg

Where is Anderson Hunt these days?

*Turns off TV during requisite Hansbrough interview* (Via Anon)

At the beginning of the second half, they put the bracket on screen. Instead of Xavier, it read Xaveir. Nice work CBS. (Via Daniel)

Yep they sure did.....



"White Lobster, because he's from Maine! That's what they call him."- Gus Johnson (Via Anon)

"OH! The White Lobster is cookin'!"- Gus Johnson

(15) American (21-11) vs (2) Tennessee (29-4) 12:15 PM East (Birmingham): Verne Lundquist and Bill Raftery
(10) Davidson (26-6) vs (7) Gonzaga (25-7) 12:25 PM Midwest (Raleigh): Jim Nantz and Billy Packer
(10) St. Mary's (CA) (25-6) vs (7) Miami (FL) (22-10) 12:30 PM South (Little Rock): Ian Eagle and Jim Spanarkel
(12) Western Kentucky (27-6) vs (5) Drake (28-4) 12:30 PM West (Tampa): Tim Brando and Mike Gminski

Yet another day of action is upon us and hopefully there will be more drama today. I've got the American-Tenn game to start the day so if anyone else gets Packer and Nantz fill me in on the quotes in the comments.

Cheers everyone!
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"American goes....MANTOMAN!"- Bill Raftery

Camera angles have been odd in Birmingham. Wide angles then zooming in and back out again. Fortunately, the camera hasn't been focused on Stuart Scott. (Via Mal)

The best transcription I can come up with off MMOD, Bill Raftery: "And American goes muhrmhmuh." (Via Thomspson)

Much better.

"Davidson with the longest winning streak in the America."- Jim Nantz

Who is he Ms. South Carolina (and such as)?

Billy Packer might be the Cloverfield monster in HD. (Via Mez)

"Curry took it back door."- Billy Packer

We might need to rid ourselves of that phrase. Also, Nantz is barely even talking in the first few moments of this game.

"That was Frank Gordon with the find."- Verne Lundquist
"To Gilmore."- Bill Raftery
"Yes. Made him happy."- Verne Lundquist
"I've heard you say that on occasion."- Bill Raftery
"Thanks for the setup. Adam Sandler is smiling."- Verne Lundquist
"Who the heck?"- Bill Raftery
"Who the heck is Happy Gilmore?"- Verne Lundquist

Wow...that was an epic exchange.

"The band playing Rocky Top at 7:30 in the morning"- Verne Lundquist
"It's not easy on the road."- Bill Raftery

Ha...that has to suck if you're trying to sleep in.

I'm pretty sure I'm the only man in America watching First Take right now, but I'm 99% sure Ryan Dempster just said "bitchin'." (Via Austin)

That's bitchin' that they let him.

"I've never met anyone who believed in reincarnation that didn't come back as a prince or a king. Nobody came back as a day laborer."- Verne Lundquist

What is he talking about?

"I think it's been like both teams are running around in deep snow."- Jim Spanarkel

AA - Verne and Bill were talking about JP Prince and his basketball family. Which led Verne - somehow - to a reincarnation rant. (Via Mal)

Well that explains everything.

"He traveled on the pass before the pass."- Jim Nantz

"Both teams playing behind the 3-point line."- Mike Gminski
"I know you take that personally."- Tim Brando

"Siakam with the deuce."- Tim Brando

Another term we should think about getting rid of.

OK - have you seen the promo for the new CBS show "Secret Talents of the Stars"? It has George Takei as a country singer. Oh my. (Via Mal)

That's scary.

"I think they got Nichols from the rear."- Bill Ratery

"If American is going to win, they are going to have to get a lot of smooth miles out of this Carr (Garrison Carr)".- Bill Raftery (Via Mal)

Okay, Stephen Curry (40 points?!?!?! and 30 of them in the 2nd Half?!?) is amazing and my brackets are officially cooked. I feel like this guy....



WOW, Adam Morrison lookin good. Now he's too much of an NBA hardass to cry, so at least we don't have to worry about that (who am I kidding, he'll probably start balling). (Via Joe D)

The other thread was getting a bit long so I'm throwing up another one for the ESPN and CBS coverage of the bracket "reveal". I'll probably be on CBS most of the time so if Bobby Knight looks like he's going to lose it, lemme know in the comments.

Amazing win by Georgia and that video should be up shortly right below this post. Just 5 minutes to go! John Calipari seems much calmer going into the Selection Show this year doesn't he?

ESPN says they're releasing the brackets at 5:59 PM. Didn't they learn their lesson from the MLB All-Star game? (Via Paco The Storytelling Mule)

Well it's past that time and Linda Cohn is still yammering about the SEC Title Game....

#1 overall is UNC in the East, Memphis goes to the South, West is UCLA and Midwest is Kansas....no surprises there. UNC would play Kansas and Memphis would go up against UCLA.

Jim Nantz: a comb-over unlike any other. (Via Mal)

We've got Amercian, Tenn, Baylor, Xavier, ND, USC, Temple, Mason, and WVU as our live look-ins on CBS.

Bobby Knight does not like Conference Championships AT ALL!

East Highlights: UNC gets the play-in game, Arkansas is in against Indiana, Notre Dame gets Mason (Upest!), Washington State takes on Winthrop (Upset!), Vols are the #2 Seed in the East, BUTLER IS A SEVEN SEED!!!!!!!!!, South Alabama gets in, Louisville is the three seed, St. Joes is in and will face Oklahoma.

Well that just about takes care of every bubble team and Butler got seriously screwed by having to go up against South Alabama in Birmingham.

Midwest Highlights: Kansas gets Portland State, UNLV-Kent State will be a great game, Clemson is a #5 seed and will meet Nova (amazing game), Vandy is a #4, Georgetown is a #2?!?!, Gonzaga meets Davidson (another great game), Wisconsin is a #3 (hosed), USC-Kansas State (Beasley vs Mayo).

No way GTown should be a two seed over Wisconsin. Sorry. Weak bracket but very good first round matchups.

"Siena very dangerous. I like them to beat Vandy."- Seth Davis

Knight's nose resembles Coughlin's during the Green Bay game. He's either been out in the freezing cold or slugging down the Jack Daniel's in order to put up with these guys. (Via Mal)

Committee leakage!!!! Lunardi TOTALLY got a tip. Villanova my butt. (Via Ed)

Washington State at a 4 is patently ridiculous. It seems like they're ALWAYS overseeded. (Steve B.)

South Highlights: Oregon gets in against Miss State, MSU gets a five seed and Temple, Pitt gets the four and Oral Roberts, Texas is the two seed, Miami is in as a #7 and will take on Saint Mary's (Upset!), Stanford is a three, Marquette the #6 and will take on the Kentucky Wildcats (bulls**t).

Sorry VCU, Arizona, Baylor, Arizona State....there's only one spot left and I think it's going to Virginia Tech.

Georgia video is up below this post.

West Highlights: UCLA is the one, BYU gets A&M in the 8/9, Drake is a five seed?!? and will take on WKU, UConn is the four and gets SD (VT is out), Duke is the two and they get Belmont, WVU is in as a #7 and get #10 Arizona (Bulls**t), Xavier is the three and gets the unlucky matchup against Georgia, Baylor is in (bulls**t) and they'll play Purdue.

Okay....I'm sorry but Baylor, Oregon, Arizona especially as a 10 seed, and Kentucky all in over Virginia Tech is just nonsense. I feel bad for Hokie fans.

Last Teams In: Nova, K-State, Baylor, Kentucky, and St. Joes
Teams Out: VT, Arizona State, Dayton, UMass, Miss, UAB, Ohio State

It's weird-looking that Duke is going to DC and Georgetown is going to Raleigh.... (Steve B.)

Agreed.

When UGA won, that was it for VA Tech. I can't wait to hear Seth Greenberg bitch and moan now. (Via Bruce)

Yeah he's gonna be pissed.

ASU and Va. Tech got seriously screwed. (Via SS Reporters)

Agreed. Butler got seriously hosed being a #7 seed, Drake should NOT be a #5, and Texas getting a Sweet 16 game in Houston is pretty sketchy.

"The ACC gets fewer teams when they don't have someone on the committee."- Jay Bilas

Tom O'Connor says that they don't pay attention to conference ranks and everything is done by individual teams. Billy Packer doesn't seem to buy it.

I guess if you've got a CBS camera on you during the Selection Show, you're making the Tournament. I'm looking at you, Baylor. (Via RJBO)

Hahaha. Clark is picking all #1 Seeds (that ALWAYS works) and Seth is going with Tenn, Kansas, Texas, and UCLA. My one rule is that you never ever pick Kansas....ever.

Clark's Sleepers: ND, Clem, MSU, WVU
Seth's Sleepers: St. Joes, USC, Temple, Arizona

Clark obviously doesn't know what a "sleeper" is.

Okay everyone....thanks for commenting and I'll keep updating as the night goes on. Look for the AA Bracket Challenge tomorrow and the unveiling of a very special March Madness t-shirt for you to pick up.

The one knockthat I've always had on Jim Nantz was that everyone of his Championship calls seemed to be decided by an Internet poll ("Florida takes it's place in history. Back to back and...dramatic pause....UNfogettable"). Well according to Neil Best of Newsday, Joe Buck doesn't plan ahead the way others do....

"Any time you try to script out these spontaneous moments you miss something that's right now that you can't predict,'' he said. "It's just another example of how you have to live in the moment. I just will not do that for Sunday. Whatever happens, happens.

"If the confetti comes down and this team is 19-0 or if the Giants pull off this upset, what more am I going to say that's better than what we're witnessing? I don't want to ruin that.''

That's the one thing...the only thing...I've ever liked about Buck. Whenever there's a dramatic play he let's the crowd tell you what happened. Occasionally he let's it go on for too long, but it's much better than saying something Nantz-like if you ask me.

If you decide to change your mind Joe, I do have a few suggestions....

"And New York is the GIANT killer of the NFL this Super Bowl"
"David slays Goliath only this time David is a Giant"
"Patriots, Perfection, Personified!"
"One If By Land, Two If By Sea, Get Your Lamps Out New England The Pats Are Coming Home Champs!"

Joe Buck won't pre-plan for possible historic call (Newsday)

All right, let's get ready, as the Pats will have the ball first this half.

Dan Marino just outdouched everyone by leaving his cell phone on while he was on air, and I'm sure Bill Cowher must have signed on as Billy Volek's agent.

Maroney takes the kickoff out to the 40 yard line for a good field position start. Brady to Moss, dropped. Out to Welker for nine, and Heath Evans gets the first down on the next rush. Maroney gets one yard on 1st down. Luis Castillo and Shaun Phillips get to Brady, taking him down for a three-yard loss on the sack. Brady picked again, this time by Drayton Florence on 3rd down when the ball gets tipped by Donte' Stallworth.

Rivers hits Jackson for one first down, has to throw it away on the next, and then hits Chambers for a spectacular catch on the sidelines. Turner burrows through to a 3rd and 1 on the next couple plays. Some quality Norv Face as Turner gets stuffed for a loss on that 3rd down. Here comes Kaeding again -- kick is up and good, 14-12, Pats.

Settle for less again, that's the Norval credo. Koolaid out to the 30 on the kickoff.

wah-wah-wawawawawawa. Chargers Red-Zone offense, I dub thee anticlimactic. - PM
Classic Norv Turner football. Field Goal Norv. - Hollywood Wags

Koolaid gets a huge hole on the left side for 18 on 1st down. A possible vaunted "halftime adjustment" by Coach Hobo. Time out burned, and Maroney gets nothing on the next carry. Brady to Moss, wide open for his first catch of the day and a 1st down. More construda from Maroney, who picks up another first down on the next play. Laurence goes for five more, picks up four on the carry after that -- may be a first down, not sure -- yes it is; first and goal. Nothing for Maroney on 1st, Brady hits Welker on 2nd down at the 2 yard line -- then Brady is picked again, this time by Antonio Cromartie.

Why Cromartie ran that out of the end zone, I don't know. Michael Turner gets 12 on the first rush.

Why, San Diego, must you keep teasing me? You know you're going to screw it up like every other team! Just do it so I can finish cleaning the house! - Anon

It's never a good idea to listen to Cowher when he talks about coaching in playoff games. It's like getting hooking up advice from Emo Phillips. - Hollywood Wags

Norv will get Rivers to drive down 80 yards only to kick another field goal. Or not, as the third down pass to Brandon Manumaleuna is incomplete. Welker lets the punt roll to the Pats' 37. One short play later, and the third quarter's over -- as are the bets of those of you out there who bet the Over today, I just have a bit riding on the Chargers to cover. Welker busts down the sideline after a quick pass for a first down. Maroney gets a big hole and gashes through (innuendo intended) for 20 yards, juking a couple Chargers on the way. Maroney then follows by taking a screen pass from Brady and laying the smacketh down on Marlon McCree with his shoulder.

Maroney gets a few for a first down, follows up with a yard to the SD 6.

Yeah, Simms. NE goes three-tight (coaches' decision) and the guy responsible for open space is Maroney. Quintessential Awful Announcing. - Ed

TOMMY TO WEL-KAH, TOUCHDOWN. Kick up and good, 21-12, Patriots.

Telling: San Diego is ahead in all major offensive categories save points in this game. The NORV! Effect in action, everyone. Sproles gets whacked at the 16. Rivers to Chambers for a first down across the 30. Marmalard heaves one incomplete on the next play, spikes it down while back in the pocket -- refs say Sproles was close enough to not make it grounding. Jackson gets serious air to catch the Rivers pass at the Pats' 48. Gates gets to the 40 with the catch. Turner rushes for the first.

Who gives a flying fuck about the Buick Invitational? Jim Nantz and CBS, that's who. He lapsed into Masters Mode for a second. Rivers' 2nd down pass is nearly picked by Rodney Harrison after Vince Wilfork gets a hand up to tip it. 3rd and 10 again. Harrison blitzes again and rushes a throw. Still rooting for Harrison to injure Marmalard further. Faulk fair catches the punt at the 12.

And the Oscar for Douchebag in a Melodrama goes toooooo: Philip Rivers!!! - PM

He was trying out for the Italian soccer team with that one earlier.

That Dallas Cowboys Diet Pepsi Max commercial just gets funnier now that they're out of the playoffs.

Tha utter team's kwadderback must go dahwn and he must go dahwn hahd. - jamescraven

Nice alias, Shannon. Maroney rumbles for another first down on the outside. Brady gets sacked hard back to the 16 by Stephen Cooper and Igor Olshansky. Faulk gets seven of those yards back, it'll be third and 11. Brady unloads, and Faulk lays himself out for a great catch -- and manages to roll for the first down. San Diego gets caught in a bad defensive position, and has to burn time out number 2.

Is that LT2 pulling a TO on the sideline? He's got his visor on still, but he hasn't played since the first series. Is it to hide the tears? - B

Like I said, Darth Tomlinson has seen General Turner fail him for the last time. Brady to Faulk AGAIN. Someone put a body on #33! Maroney picks up three.

More shots of Darth Tomlinson, who finds your lack of faith....disturbing. Maroney grabs six more crucial yards for another first down.

Okay, who wants Schottenheimer back in San Diego? - jamescraven

Don't go that far, James. Norval did get SD to the conference championship, which required winning a couple playoff games, which Marty didn't do in the Whale's Vagina. Maroney gets another first down rush for a few yards as the Bolts have completely caved, and that will basically end this fucker right here. 21-12, Patriots, and it's 18-0 for New England, heading to Glendale, Arizona in two weeks!

There will be an open thread for Giants-Packers, again, and I'll be around in the comments there.

Hello folks, S2N here with you for the AFC Championship game, and I'm still having a hard time believing that Jim Nantz is an award-winner of any sort.

Have some fun in comments with the pre-game, and I'll be back for the start of the game.
-------------------
Phil Simms is offending all sense of fashion yet again with that shirt and tie. Who picks that out for him?

Jesus, you'd think football players never played in the cold before. Windchills at 0, and....Steve Tasker as a sideline reporter? I'm guessing CBS didn't want to get caught without a sideliner for injury reports again after last week. Gostowski kicks off to Sproles, who's tackled at the 25 -- and here comes Marmalard. LDT gets three on his first carry and two on the second.

Does anyone else find it annoying when announcers say "last year's MVP vs. this year's MVP?" as if Tom Brady and LDT actually square off on the field, literally?

Anyway, incomplete on third down, and Mike Scifres kicks one back....and there's going to be a five yard flag for running into the punter. They'll try it again. Welker fair-catches the next punt at the 27. Brady overthrows Kyle Brady on first down -- no perfection for Tom Terrific. Koolaid Maroney gets only two yards on the 2nd down carry -- and Antonio Gates is going out of the game. Another incompletion, and it's trading 3 and outs.

Ed in comments says the Pats scored 13 of 17 times on first drives. Make that 13 0f 18 now. Sproles gets the punt back somewhere inside the 30 of SD. Rivers hits Chris Chambers for 20 something and they're at the 43. Michael Turner gets 5 to the 49. Going to Chambers again past midfield. Asante Samuel knocks down the pass headed for Vincent Jackson. Short pass to LDT for a yard or two, as Gates is back in the game. Rodney Harrison comes up on the blitz and rushes Rivers into a 3rd and 9 incompletion -- and he just juked LDT, who was trying to pass-block. Kevin Faulk is back for the punt -- fair catch at the 10.

First play is a rush hit behind the line of scrimmage for a loss. Wes Welker makes up that loss on the next play with a catch and the yards after at the 20. Pressure on Brady, hurled downfield, and we've got a flag for illegal contact on Quentin Jammer -- and that one was a legit call past five yards. Maroney gets nothing on the next carry. Brady to Ben Watson for nine, but 3rd and 1 is incomplete after that. We've seen Chris Hanson twice now, very early. Sproles gets it back to the 39 of San Diego.

I FUCKING HATE THIS MCDONALD'S AD. I hate that they're playing the long version of this, with that lame ass song.

Michael Turner gets a first down right off the bat and back to midfield with the rush. He then gets four more on the next carry. Rivers throws a floater out of bounds towards Jackson that hasn't come down yet. Marmalard gets sacked by the former Charger Junior Seau -- plus a holding call on SD, which is declined. Scifres comes out to punt again. Touchback for the Patriots.

Looks like Ted Cottrell watched the film from the Pats-Ravens game. The one where, y'know, they put pressure on Brady. - randomranting

Amazing concept, isn't it? Put pressure on the QB and make them rush their decisions! And, we have tangible results! Quentin Jammer picks Dreamboat right off the bat. Turner rushes for five -- and is brought down with a 15-yard face mask. Chambers ropes in a good catch there to make it first and goal at the 9. Turner gets a yard. 2nd down brings a pass to Lorenzo Neal, which isn't in his vicinity. Rivers hits Chambers in the end zone, but it's called incomplete -- he was out of bounds by plenty. Nate Kaeding on...it's up and through.

Chargers 3, Patriots 0. If this is the SD offense, god help them if the Patriots get it straight on O.

Brady and Co. start at the 35. Welker gets nine on the catch. Brady overthrows Randy Moss for a 3rd and 1. Heath Evans pumbles through for 3 yards and a first down.

Jesus Tapdancing Christ, Nancy Boy. That's an end-around that Moss ran, not a reverse. Simms, you should fucking correct him. Out to Faulk on the screen for four yards, Stallworth for five more to close out the first quarter. Maroney gets that first down with a seven yard run to the outside. First and goal is a short one to Faulk with a touchdown saving tackle by Eric Weddle.

Koolaid Maroney does an "OH YEAH!" and busts through the pile for six. Gostowski's kick is good, 7-3, New England.

Let the running up of the score commence....Sproles brings the kickoff back to the 30. Jackson hauls one in for 15. A "coach's decision" to keep LDT out? Norv Turner has had his first NORV! moment. Jackson nabs another one for 17 yards -- someone will be stupid enough to waste an early fantasy pick on him next season. Turner gets the next two carries and we've got 3rd and 1. Jackson again for 21 at the nine yard line. Rivers rolls out on 2nd down and tries to hit Gates -- and Tedy Bruschi makes a solid defensive play on that one. Rivers hits Chambers -- but Ellis Hobbs just took his legs out from under him, and here comes Kaeding again. His kick is good, 7-6, Patriots.

Again, this is going to look real bad if the Patriots get end zone on this next drive, and to quote PM, the NE O-line got themselves unfucked on the last drive -- so that doesn't bode well.

Nantz is great as lead announcer of the NE broadcast team. - Anon

+1.

Pats starting at the 40. Left Faulk WIDE FUCKING OPEN and he gets 13 yards into Bolts territory. Koolaid takes three tacklers with him for five yards. Welker gets a short catch on the next play. Quentin Jammer knocks down the third down pass to force fourth down, and Dateline NBC is out to punt. Kelley Washington makes a nice special teams play, batting the ball back and it's downed at the 4.

LDT looks like Darth Tomlinson on the sidelines all bundled up. Turner gets seven yards on the first two carries. Sproles gets 4 for the first down. Rivers gets smacked up HARD, threw a rainbow ball, and Asante Samuel beat out Chris Chambers for the ball -- he runs it back a bit, too. Nice hit by Vrabel, and sloppy by Chambers for not keeping position on Samuel.

Brady to Faulk for 13, then Brady to Jabar Gaffney for END ZONE. Extra point good, 14-6, Patriots.

That was promptly followed by a nice Marmalard face and vintage, vintage NORV! Face.

"The Patriots are too good at throwing and catching and getting up the field." - PS, master of the obvious. Sproles gets very little on the first play -- and if I were LDT, I'd be plotting Norval's death in the locker room come halftime. ANOTHER RIVERS PICK, this time via Ellis Hobbs, who fumbles and Samuel falls on it.

Kevin Faulk gets eight yards on some good blocking as NE tries to get all the way for a killer score before the half. Two minute warning.

IBM just showed a clip of Steve Smith making an amazing play for the Panthers. That had to be from last season or something.

Jim Nantz just mentioned that the Giants-Packers game was on Fox. This would not be notable except for the fact that announcers never mention another network. Welker incomplete, punt to Sproles, he's out at the SD 35. Darren Sproles busts one out -- gets about 30+ or so into NE territory, and they're reviewing the play.

"That made sense to you, right?" - Phil
"I've been around you long enough to be able to interpret." - Jim

Accidental truths revealed. Ball stays with SD, Rivers hits Gates for 8. Sproles gets stopped on the pass a yard shy of the first down. Chargers burn the last time out. Rivers rolls and throws out of bounds with no one open. Kaeding on for the FG, and Coach Hobo calls a time out to ice the shite playoff kicker that Kaeding is. Kick is good from 40 yards out, 14-9, Patriots. But the Pats will still get the ball back to start the second half -- job's not done there.

See you in the 2nd half thread, everyone.

Jim Nantz has capped off an especially amazing year of broadcasting for an individual by being named by the National Sportscasters and Sportswriters Association the 2007 Sportscaster of the Year. You may remember him starting the year by going through a 63-day stretch calling the Superbowl, March Madness and then Masters.

Nantz was also tabbed to follow the Patriots around the Country for the better part of the NFL season and witnessed one of the most watched NFL games (Indy-NE, 33 million) in years.

The CBS press release doesn't say who he was up against, but they do offer this tidbit. Nantzy is writing a book!

Nantz is currently writing his first book and in May 2008, Always By My Side - A Father's Grace and a Sports Journey Unlike Any Other, will hit bookstores across the country. Nantz will tell his personal stories from football, basketball and golf and how he has met people along the way who remind him of the virtues his father instilled in him. The foreword to the book will be written by one of his father figures and dear friend, former President George H.W. Bush.

When does the fun ever stop with Jim Nantz?

(Source CBS PR)

The best thing about the Patriots-Jaguars game that will be starting shortly? It saves me from watching "Titanic", the movie best known for holding the world record for most times one character has said another's name in a three hour movie. ("Hold on, Rose. I'll save you, Rose. Rose, you don't have to worry, Rose, because I love you, Rose, and we'll be okay, Rose.") Also, it was the first time I saw Kate Winslet naked, which was nice because I have always found her to be quite attractive.

I have mixed feelings about live-blogging this game. As a Patriots fan, I've endured some major heart attack moments this season - the Colts, Eagles, and Ravens were especially scary. The thing is, those games weren't for all the marbles. If Baltimore hadn't imploded and given away that game, it would have sucked, but the Pats still would have been playing the next week. Same with the Colts, or the Eagles, or the Cowboys. This week, however, it's a one and done in maybe the most pressure-filled divisional playoff game in league history. New England loses, and suddenly they've pulled off one of the biggest chokes we've ever seen (and those Patriots:Yankees comparisons become brutally real). I'm scared.

Add to this the fact that, in my opinion, most Pats fans and some of the media fail to appreciate history, instead choosing to tempt karma and the Football Gods at every turn by proclaiming that there is no way the Patriots can lose this game. Right...and there was no way the Rams could lose Super Bowl XXXVI. Who was their opponent in that game again? My favorite caller to the local radio station was the one who discounted Indianapolis because "they don't win games by a lot of points". You know what? Before the Patriots were accused of running up the score, they were often marked down for failing to blow teams out.

Aw, hell. It'll all be over in about four hours. I'll be back in fifteen or so to get this thing crack-a-lackin. In the meantime, feel free to drop a comment below. (I say we try for an Awul Announcing comments record tonight - something in the 600 range. WHO'S COMING WITH ME!?!?!?!?!?)

Open question while we're waiting for Go-Time: why do people hate the Patriots?

The doctor wanted to take a foot of David Garrard's intestines, and his response was, "It isn't really something I want to do, but I want to get back on the field." That's a man's man, folks.

His kid is cute, too.

I want to have stubble like Tom Brady. My stubble is patchy and poorly trimmed - beards are not my friend. His stubble, on the other hand, could have its own magazine cover.

Brian, I'd have to guess that the Pats hate is part jealousy, part Coach Hobo jackassery, and part despising of Massholes. You've got a World Series winner and a potential NBA finalist in the Celtics. Throw us a bone and suck at something. - Signal to Noise

You think Cleveland fans hate themselves for running Belichick out of town? Jackass or not, the man is a great coach.

If I was starting a drinking game for tonight, "The Patriots defense misses a tackle" would have been "Drink Once", and we all would have been hammered by halftime. Unfortunately, I lack forethought.

And immediately, James Sanders takes offense to my comments and knocks MJD out of bounds to force 4th and 1.

Guess I should've expected that 34-yard fourth down completion, huh?

The Patriots have never allowed a playoff to score on an opening playoff drive....pardon my French, but are you $&#&&@E=MC2 kidding me? The pocket collapses on Garrard, he scrambles, somebody has him in the grasp, and on the way down he heaves it into the end zone to a wide open Matt Jones. Kill me in the face, right now.

For the record: that was an incredible play by Garrard. But the Patriots secondary has to be better than it was on that drive. The fourth-and-one play and the touchdown were way too easy.

I like how Simms jumped all over the possibility of his knee being down. If that was Brady it would have been "Just a TERRIFIC throw by Tom Brady!" - Hardwood Paroxysm

Tom Brady has never made a bad throw. Ever.

Oh, great, a sack on the first play...and a screen to Maroney on the second play. Great call, he had a ton of room to run. First down. Brady back to pass, pulls it down and scrambles for a couple. It's early, but it doesn't look like there are a lot of deep options for him early. Third down, Faulk gets stuck in the whole, loss of one, New England goes for it..Brady across the middle, first down to Randy Moss, and they're playing with a hurry up offense. Sprint to the line, get lined up, then take your time getting the play off is now considered a hurry up.

Kevin Faulk and Laurence Maroney came to play tonight. After they combine to get another first down, Brady completes a short pass to Gaffney, who breaks a tackle and has a first down at the three. And Brady waits, waits, waits, great protection...and he goes up top to Ben Watson for six. And with the kick from Gostkowski, we're all tied up.

New England 7, Jacksonville 7

Kickoff to MJD, short return. There's a hold on Jacksonville, says fourth year referee Jerome Boger. Commercial.

While we have a second, I thought I'd give all you Jacksonville rooters a nice inspirational video to get pumped.



Taylor gets dropped on the first play after the kick. Fortunately, Jacksonville completes the next play for nineteen. Garrard under pressure, moving in the pocket, and the ball is out! Replay shows Ty Warren with the initial hit and Mike Vrabel is there to fall on it! Patriots ball.

Kevin Faulk is like an underappreciated version of Troy Brown, if you can imagine that. He's getting a fair number of touches in this game.

Oh, just in case anyone hasn't noticed: there will be little to no impartiality here. That's the danger of live-blogging a game involving one's favorite team.

As a Cleveland fan, I always wonder where he became good. Because Bill sucked in Cleveland. I hated him when he was Browns coach. - Anonymous

Check out Halberstam's book, "The Education of a Coach". Very interesting look into Belichick's background.

Laurence Maroney needs a nickname.

Earlier, I mentioned the guy who talked ill of the Colts because they don't win by large enough margins. Another caller to the same show declared that the Patriots have the advantage over anybody because Laurence Maroney is the "freshest running back in the league." I'll bet that was Belichick's plan when he sat him down in mid-season.

Maroney, one-yard out, touchdown. Gostkowski do what he do, and I can breathe for awhile.

New England 14, Jacksonville 7

Why am I watching this? I lose either way. Mercury Morris and Tom Brady will both be on ESPN next week no matter the outcome. - Anonymous

It kills me to say this, but I think Tom Brady is fast becoming Derek Jeter, and while I've always respected Jeter as a player, I never really expected him to be on my favorite team, you know?

MJD got some Ryan Grant Syndrome right there, bumbling and fumbling the kickoff before securing it at the five-yard-line. If I could ask him anything right now, I'd ask what it's like to be on the ground, trying to get a handle on the ball, only to look up and see five guys bearing down on you at an incredible rate of speed.

Patriots cornerbacks do not believe in using their arms to make tackles. Every time, it's "duck and hope he hits my shoulder pads." Probably not the best technique.

Jones-Drew recovered the fumble on the kickoff, recovered a fumble for a first down, plowed ahead for a first down, and got wide open to the right for another first down. And again, Asante Samuel declined to actually attempt a reasonable facsimile of a tackle. I accidentally typed "tacklet" the first time I wrote that, and that seems like a fitting name for what they do.

I hate to agree with Nantz and Simms, but it's impossible: this is a solid drive by the Jaguars. They needed to bounce back after the fumble and Patriots touchdown, and they're doing exactly that. Until...a Mr. Pashos moves a wee bit early and pushes the proceedings back five yards.

I'm calling it - touchdown here.

Yeah, I'm good. Nice pass to Ernest Wilford for six. Josh Scobee isn't messing around, and we're tied again.

New England 14, Jacksonville 14

Garrard has thrown touchdowns to Matt Jones (#18) and Wilford (#19). Charles Sharon, Scott Starks, get ready - one of you has an upcoming date with destiny.

Sadly, I just discovered, Charles Sharon is inactive for this game. It's up to you, Starks. I know you're a cornerback, and I don't care. Just make it happen.

Phil Simms just said: "the love to double team big guys" (re: Pats). - Alewife

I just came in to say the same thing "alewife" said. Any time you get Phil Simms enthusiastically talking about how guys love to double team big guys, well, that's the sort of thing this blog exists for. - Oops Pow Surprise

Yes. Yes it is.

I'm a Pats fan and Seymour is overrated. - wumpa

I agree. He's only a five-time Pro Bowler and five-time All-Pro.

Yeah but the Pats D looks REALLY ordinary right now... - wumpa

Unfortunately, I really agree with that comment. They haven't looked right for a few weeks now, maybe since Colvin went down to injury.

Welker in the middle of the field for his first catch tonight. Until now, the plan has called for a healhy dose of Faulk and Maroney, with a hint of Watson. I feel like Belichick is the Russian coach during the Apollo Creed fight in Rocky IV - pretty soon, he's gonna scream something incomprehensible from the sideline and Brady's gonna start completing 50-yard bombs to Randy Moss.

Looks like Maroney is actually running hard tonight. Too often, he dances around and waits for a hole that never really develops. Tonight, he's announcing his presence with authority.

End around to Welker and he cuts it up for a first down. Will someone please get me a line to the Patriots sideline, so I can call Tom Brady and tell him to never, ever throw a block again? Ever?

Ouch. Chop blocks are never cool. What's ironic is that I just read in the aforementioned book by David Halberstam that Belichick always hated chop blocks because he had a college coach who taught the technique. Belichick, a center, ended up getting his leg broken in practice. Interesting.

Oh, Stephen.

"Didn't even sound solid, Jim." - Simms

Thank you for that stunning analysis.

"That's only the second incompletion today for either quarterback." - Nantz

Amazingly, they both belong to Garrard. Brady is 12-for-12 for 120 yards, which gives him a 100% completion percentage and ten yards per attempt. Lots of twos and zeroes, which is interesting for reasons I can't fully explain.

Brady will take a knee and go into the half tied, 14-14. I'm off to order a pizza. Meet you back in the second half thread.

Onto the 2nd Round Folks, and just like we predicted Buck and Aikman to Dallas and Nantz and Simms to New England.

Saturday, January 12

Seattle at Green Bay, 4:30 p.m. (FOX)- Kenny Albert, Daryl Johnston, Tony Siragusa
Jacksonville at New England, 8 p.m. (CBS)- Jim Nantz, Phil Simms

Sunday, January 13

San Diego at Indy, 1 p.m. (CBS)- Greg Gumbel, Dan Dierdorf
NY Giants at Dallas, 4:30 p.m. (FOX)- Joe Buck, Troy Aikman

Chargers TE Antonio Gates was at a party for some shoe company called Osiris a while back. Now, the Bolts miss him terribly.

"LaDainian Tomlinson has to play better if Philip Rivers is going to win this game." Shannon Sharpe, you have lost your goddamned mind. Tomlinson has to get the ball first before he can do anything with it.

Chargers bring out the ball, but it's brought back due to a block in the back. LDT gets four on the first carry. Rivers hits Chambers for 19 at the 34 yard line. Another big third down pass to Jackson -- who goes down at the Titans 33. That's two consecutive Titans defensive players going down -- first Antoine Odom and now Michael Griffin is down after colliding with Jackson.

"That allowed Rivers to pump down the field" - PS (via SSR)

Sounds dirtier than it actually is. Rivers to Chambers again, but there's a flag -- never mind, offsides on the Titans, and the Chargers are at the 11. Chambers again, this time to the 4. No gain for LDT, and it's third and three from the four. Rivers calls time.

"Their [the Titans'] linemen and linebackers are coming fast forward, downhill." - PS. Is the Titans' D VHS or Beta?

Know how much this game sucks? You all are talking FA Cup in the comments. Not that I blame you. Jackson catches it short of the first down line after the time out. And the crowd is booing HARD as NORV! sends Kaeding out to kick a field goal. Kaeding boots it through, it's now 6-3, Titans. Yawn. By the way, Tomlinson was WIDE OPEN on that pass to Jackson, replays show.

Titans start out, get three yards on a pass to Davis. Body By LenDale gets a few, third down pass is then converted.

If you are sliding around like the dude in this commercial, he doesn't need to worry about deodorant. He just needs to hope his cup works. - Mal

I love those ads. BBL rushes for a couple more on first down. The Good Chris Henry gets stuffed on the next call. VY has to throw it away on third down, and -- yay, another punt -- and Sproles brings it to about the SD 23.

Chargers general manager A.J. Smith got a lengthy contract extension recently. How's that looking right now, Dean Spanos? Rivers to Jackson for 20 plus as LT is still stewing. Tomlinson finally gets a few yards on a swing pass. Gee, Norval realized he can catch the ball too! LT gets a couple more and is tripped up. First down on a short out to LT, who stretches for the spot. Michael Turner gets 3 on his first carry. Albert Haynesworth smacks Rivers up on 2nd down, and there's a flag -- both against Haynesworth for offsides and unnecessary roughness.

Albert you dunce. You stomp on him to make sure he is dead. - SSR

Ouch. Rivers to Jackson, AND WE HAVE END ZONE. FINALLY. Took them long enough. Kick is up and good, 10-6, Chargers.

Tennessee's moving it out, after a first down, Chris Davis runs the reverse and gets hit hard by Quentin Jammer on the tackle. Ahmad Hall gets 11 on third down and they're into the SD red zone at the end of the third. Stalled on three straight unsuccessful plays, and it's Bironas again. 38-yard try is up and...NO GOOD. Rare miss.

Tomlinson is now getting yardage. Not good for the Titans to give up a rushing first down to him for the first time all day. Rivers then overthrows Chambers. He then throws to Manumaleuna, who gets the first down at the 50 yard line. Next play finds Rivers getting hit as soon as he throws; it's incomplete to Jackson. Rivers air mails it to Chambers, who was wide open and gets inside the 10 yard line. Tomlinson just called time out (play clock, Simms explains), and that's weird, because isn't the QB the one who's supposed to see that and know about it?

I have all of you in comments beat on comparing the accidentally porny signs: Midwesterners know of the convenience store called Kum 'N Go. Of course, their equivalent of the Big Gulp is the Big Kummie.

Rivers tosses one away, he was trying to hit Tomlinson. He hits LT on the next play, who bobs and weaves just outside the goal line, and is down. NORV!'s gonna challenge that it was short, and it looks a bit short on replay -- he's gonna lose his last time out on this.

Phil Simms is unconscionably stupid. When Nantz has to correct you on the timeout/challenge situation and you PLAYED THE DAMN GAME, you are a stooge. - PM

Amazing. Simms said Norv could call time out and then throw the flag -- well, you have to throw the flag first. You can't throw the challenge flag if you don't have a time out left. Now, the Bolts are gonna go for it. Give it to LT, morons. Oof. I see premature NORV! Face. Tomlinson....up...over....second push...TOUCHDOWN. Replay shows he had the ball cross the line, but Fisher's gonna challenge it.

Play stands, kick up and good, 17-6, Chargers. NORV! has some cojones. Who knew?

The Good Chris Henry returns the kickoff to the 20 for the Titans. VY throws out of bounds in the direction of Chris Davis. VY gets plowed by the two Sh(au)wn(e)s, and then gets sacked again by Phillips and Luis Castillo. Hentrich punts to Sproles, fair catch at the 47 of SD.

We get old AFL highlights between the Los Angeles Chargers and the Houston Oilers, which has got to piss off Houston people like crazy right now. Michael Turner gets 11 yards on the carry. Tomlinson got the go-ahead touchdown and he still looks pissed. Turner hits the corner for the first down, but there's a flag and it's probably on Vincent Jackson -- yup, holding.

Jesus, we're in the old-school highlight montage and there are 5 minutes or so left in this game. Can this game end soon? Tennessee is trapped deep in its own end, and it's pretty much a hopeless case. Chargers get the ball back by Drayton Florence picking off Vince Young, Marlon McCree causes a 15-yard penalty with a block below the waist, Chargers have it at the Titans 34 or so. More Roger mentions -- two, three drinks will get you caught up.

Dear Jerry Angelo,

Please sign Michael Turner this offseason. - PM

Hah. That's cute. You think the Bears will spend money.

Watch me lie on 60 Minutes, coming up next on CBS - Roger Clemens.

Hey, Rocket, thanks for joining us! OK, we're done here at 17-6, Chargers. This Chargers team is so getting its ass handed to it by Indy next Sunday. Visit Signal to Noise some time, why don't you, and I'll see you all next weekend -- hopefully by then I can deal with the reality that NORV! has won another playoff game, somehow.

Vince Young with his long-time girlfriend, or so said the Big Lead's commenters from the thread where I got this photo.

And if the smug of Joe Buck wasn't enough for you today, we now get to listen to the slobbering of Jim Nantz and the black hole that is Phil Simms. Oof. And Simms is wearing an ugly shirt and tie combination, thus offending the fashion gods.

Did Shannon Sharpe just call them the "Timothy Titans"? - Mal

Emmitt Smith wishes he were as lucid as Shannon.

/Broncos fan

Over/Under on LT knob slobbering by Simms and Nantz in one half? I'll start it at 20. - SSReporters

Announcers don't verbally fellate running backs the way they do QBs. I'll take the under.

Why is Phil Simms dressed like Willy Wonka? - PM

Nantz is his personal Oompa Loompa. These next two are so good they have to go in. You all are on fire today:

If Shannon Sharpe and Emmitt Smith had a conversation:

Shannon: BLUBKEFEFLHBLBUSFUH TITANS LIBELBLEL!!!!

Emmitt: That may be true, but the Timothy, Tenasity, Tennessee Titans have played more better on the defense end than more than many of the other teams in the league. With Hal Aynesworth working that linear of scrimmage, they could be all over the uh....Chargers.

Shannon: BLUBBLFUBFLBU! - SSReporters

I rarely watch pre-game shows, so it's a total surprise to learn that the NFL Today has a GM. Does he worry about salary cap issues and try to make deals?

"CBS's Gus Johnson has been tearing up the minors and should deserve a shot in 2008. Said NFL Today show Charlie Casserly, "We are very close to invoking luxury tax penalties, so unless some of our aging veterans like Enberg and Criqui dont consider restructuring their deals, we may have be forced to disappoint the longtime fans of the NFL Today and let go two men whose contributions to the success of this franchise should be noted." - Gibbon Jockey

I'm still rolling over here. Let me get composed again to try and type properly. Bravo to both of you. I'm pretty sure Shannon is making names up on purpose now, and AA is correct, Eli looks like a complete herb.

Yeah...Mike Wallace interviewing Roger Clemens on 60 Minutes...that'll be some hard hitting journalism. I'd also like to note that Joe Buck announced to us that Dallas safety Roy Williams will be replacing Sean Taylor in the Pro Bowl, and that is a traveshamockery, as Williams has done nothing but suck and break his own rule about horse-collar tackling this season.

Of course, all four analysts picked the Chargers, which seems to be a no-brainer -- until you consider that this is a NORV!-coached team. If you see NORV! Face, drink, by the way.

Let's go over our rules. Drink for:

1) NORV! Face
2) Simms talks about his playing career
3) Nantz talks about the Masters
4) Tomlinson knob-slobbered by either announcer
5) Any Patriots references even though they're not playing
6) Ad for Roger Clemens' 60 Minutes softball interview tonight

I feel obligated to say this every time I live-blog a Chargers game: the powder-blue alternates should be the regular home unis. Dave Raymer kicks off to the non-Bengal Chris Henry, who gets out to the 38 yard line. Isn't it nice to see starting lineups? Hey, Fox, you can do this too -- it doesn't take much time.

That wasn't a formation on first down -- that was backyard football right there, Fucking line everyone up outside and throw. Antonio Cromartie knocks down the 2nd down pass to Justin Gage (who wears #12, that cannot be a coincidence.) Third and 10 -- VY slugs it to Ahmad Hall, on the screen and he gets 16 and a first down.

"Cromartie was in there bangin' hard." - Nantz (via Mal)

Body By LenDale bangs it out on the next two carries for nine yards and VY calls TO in Charger territory. 12 dudes in the huddle gets them a 5 yard penalty for 3rd and 6. VY scrambles for a first down anyway. Gage catches a pass at the 25 -- nice way not to drop it.

SSReporters alerts us to the presence of "Eddie Guns" Hochuli. He should be the ref for every big playoff game. The Titans are still pounding it down low. Ahmad Hall gets stopped by Quentin Jammer for no gain inside the 15. Eric Moulds brings in the VY slingshot at the 12. Shaun Phillips whacks VY on the 3rd down, and Rob Bironas is probably coming on to kick.

"35 field goals is the most made by any kicker this year, including four from 50 yards or more." - Nantz. All this tells me is that the Titans' red zone offense sucks. Kick is up and good, 3-0 Titans, but that lead isn't lasting too long.

Those cheerleaders are going to get soaked in that rain. - Mal

I hope this is an observation and not a complaint. San Diego has some of the hottest cheerleaders in the league. LDT up the middle for 2 yards to start after the kickoff. Rivers fumbles on 2nd down -- no O-line protection there -- and LDT has to fall on it to recover. Short pass to Buster Davis on 3rd down means three and out early. Mike Scifres punts to Chris Davis, who brings it back to about the 42.

Silly me. Talk about the Charger Girls without a link. Sheesh. Here you go. My favorite's Marlina. Yes, despite the fact that her profile says her favorite player is LDT, "because despite his outstanding athletic ability." I'm not looking for a brain here.

Chris Brown up for three yards on the first carry. VY gets pounded again on 2nd down, and his shoulder pad is still hanging out. VY ditches it on third down, and is slow to get up after getting waxed by Igor Olshansky (great, great name for a D-lineman.) Hentrich punts to Sproles, who fair catches at the 23 yard line.

Wow were the Chargers just celebrating VY being hurt? - AA
It sure sounded like the crowd was pretty excited about Vince Young getting hisself concussed. - Gibbon Jockey
You stay classy, San Diego. - PM

And Philip hasn't even started jawing yet. Rivers to Chambers for 5 yards, but it's canceled by a chop block on the O-lineman on Albert Haynesworth, who showed great restraint by not stomping his ass to the curb this year. Three yards on the next play for SD. Rivers then overthrows Antonio Gates, which is tough because Gates is 6'5". You really have to try hard to throw it over his head. 3rd and 18 to Brandon Manumaleuna, and he only gets nine. Here comes Scifres -- punts it 60+ yards and it's only returned for 8.

I will always cherish the image of MJD pwning Merriman this season. Classic. - PM

I know I put that video in last night's live blog, but let's watch that again.