I was out of the loop this past weekend, and I apologize if you've already seen this, but this referee from the LSU-USC game needed a spot here. Watch closely as this unknown official first appears to be avoiding USC QB, Steven Garcia, but then just decides to run him over for some reason....

I honestly wish that players on my teams could tackle that well. I'm sure there's a good explanation for this, but at the present time, I have no idea what that could be. Just plain weird.

(Thanks to LO for the vid)

It's going to be a slow news day today, and I normally don't point out newspaper typos because I screw stuff up all the time too, buuuuut this one is too funny to pass up. The USA Today wrote up a report on LSU kicking QB Ryan Perrilloux of the team and also gave a laundry list of problems the kid has had over the years. There are missed classes, missed team meetings, fights and gamblings goats. Wait what?

Perrilloux also was suspended two other times at LSU. He missed a game at Alabama after an allegation that he was involved in a fight at a nightclub, where no police charges were filed. Last May, he also allegedly tried to use his brother's drivers license to enter a casino gambling goat.

God that's hilarious on so many levels. First a goat that gambles would be pretty sweet. It'd be like a monkey that smokes, but with more Sports and playing cards. Hell the goat might even smoke too. How awesome would that be?

The only other question is exactly how Perrilloux "entered" said goat. Nah, I'll skip that one.

(USA Today via Fark)

No, I can't throw 40 yards from my butt, but can JaMarcus Russell write 40 paragraphs from his butt? Didn't think so. Let's call it a draw.

I suppose I should apolgize to AA for using his "Best College Football Game Ever" tag, but I'm really enjoying this 20 point deficit.

Now we're talking! A deflected Quinn pass hangs in the air for what seemed like ages and it's picked off by LSU's free safety, who gets himself an unsportsmanlike penalty for underhanding the ball toward the Notre Dame bench, and I can only hope that Jeff Samardzija was the intended receiver. Notre Dame returns the favor on the next play with a late hit, and...oh, wait, LSU got the unsportmanlike penalty for their reaction to the uncalled late hit out of bounds. Another touchdown, and this game could get seriously ugly. It's tense out there, and LSU going for a flea flicker on the very next play couldn't help. And I'll tell you what, it was a perfect pass.

Now, I understand LSU's desire to put the final nail in Notre Dame's coffin, but why is JaMarcus Russell repeatedly throwing deep balls into double coverage? There are over twelve minutes left and you have a 20 point lead. Run the ball. I realize that Notre Dame has struggled on offense for most of the game, but they're really good. Why give them more possessions?

And just like that, Notre Dame goes one, two, three and out. LSU picks up a first down through the air, another on the ground, and we're ticking down to 10:00 left in the game. Les Miles was born in Ohio, played at Michigan, and now I know why so many LSU fans dislike him with that sort of background. His team continues to eat up yardage on the ground, and Notre Dame is fading quickly.

Charlie eats a record ninth-straight Irish bowl defeat

And it's like pow!, LSU running back Keiland Williams bursts off the right side for a touchdown and a 41-14 LSU lead. Honestly, if anyone needed this beating it was Notre Dame fans. Of course, everyone will still think Charlie Weis is a genius when the ballots are passed out in August and the preseason magazines are printed. However, Mr. Jesus With A Whistle still hasn't beaten a good team in his two years at Notre Dame. And yes, I fully realize they pasted Penn State in the second game of the year. They're not even ranked right now, and will barely sneak into the top 25 after beating Tennessee.

If I was Charlie Weis right now, I'd just call a bunch of running plays and get the hell out of the Superdome. The Irish run a few pointless plays and punt it back to LSU for what we can only hope is the last possession of the game. Les Miles, in a nice gesture, pulls his seniors and Russell (who may be playing his last game) on second down to give the crowd a chance to show their appreciation. The LSU coaches in the press box have unplugged and fled to the playing field, and it ain't nothin' but a good time for the Tigers. We're still facing the prospect of a Brady Quinn walk of shame, as LSU faced 3rd and 8. They come up two yards short and will undoutedly punt.

Charlie chooses wisely, and keeps Brady Quinn on the sideline. Notre Dame runs a pair of innocuous plays, and your final score is Lousiana State 41, Notre Dame 14.

Barring a post-game streak by Jeannie Zelasko or Terry Bradshaw, that'll do it for tonight's live blog. Thanks to Awful Announcing and all of you who have checked in or commented, it's been fun. Here's a final YouTube gift for you in honor of the fourth quarter comments.



Here's the boxscore.

Not sure why I have ligers on the brain. I think Jeannie Zelasko is wearing the infamous Seinfeld puffy shirt. Almost immediately, Early Doucet is stripped of the ball along the sideline, and Notre Dame takes over deep in Liger, uh, Tiger territory. The refs are reviewing it, and for good reason -- the Notre Dame defender doesn't recover the ball in the field of play. Inexplicably, Les Miles has to use a coach's challenge to contest the play. Isn't every play automatically reviewed? Anyway, I'll be shocked if the ball doesn't go back to LSU, Early Doucet, and his weak-ass mohawk.

Les Miles wins the challenge, but tries to convince the Big Twelve refs to give his timeout and his challenge back. On the other sideline, Charlie Weis is also working the refs. There's clearly blood in the water -- the coaches feel the refs can be convinced that the sky is green at this point. I'm enjoying the sheer fright on the referee's face every time he turns on his microphone. LSU's driving, and now inside the Irish 25 with a third down looming. Russell is stuffed on a QB draw and LSU lines up for a 40-yard field goal, but OH, THOSE TRICKY TIGERS! It's a short side holder-kicker option play for a successful fake field goal! One screen pass later and the Tigers are inside the 10, although they're now facing 3rd and 2 at the Irish 8. Notre Dame holds -- I'm not sure a slant pass to the end zone was the best call there -- and LSU converts on a chip shot field goal attempt. 24-14, Tigers.

The Fox team repeats Charlie Weis' nonsense about Brady Quinn becoming the third best NFL quarterback in three years. Charlie should know that defenses are also allowed to blitz in professional tackle football games.

Fox just ran a graphic of Notre Dame's best quarterbacks. If there isn't a Ron Powlus joke in the comments, I'm going to be greatly disappointed. Notre Dame fires off a crappy, back-bouncing punt, and it's rock'em sock'em robot time. Also, the Little Tiny Mirrors girl is creepy in that "overpolished child actor" sort of way.

One of LSU's players was a fifteen pound, fourteen ounce baby. My girlfriend and I contemplate how to fit a watermelon through a straw. We may or may not have had sex during the last LSU series, which ended in a field goal and a very unsatisfied girlfriend. You may not contemplate how to fit a straw through a tunnel. The scores are LSU 27, Notre Dame 14, and RUTS 1, Ms. RUTS 0.

And just as I hit the Blogger's "Publish" button, JaMarcus Russell throws one of those "oh crap, he's throwing the ball off his back foot" passes, but the ball kept sailing and sailing for 53 yards until it lands in the mitts of freshman Brandon LaFell for a 58 yard touchdown. LSU 34, Notre Dame 14, and that's the end of the third quarter.

As a bonus, we're approaching the blowout point where Kenny, Howie, and Terry have to just make shit up in order to avoid dead air. I love it when a plan comes together.

Deep in LSU territory, Quinn lofts a perfect pass to Samareifeuajia, but Jeff loses it in the lights. Or the ceiling. The ball actually glanced off the helmet of the dumbfounded Samardzija. On fourth and 5, Notre Dame attempts a short field goal, which drifts wide right.

Back from commercial and the discussion is whether Charlie Weis should've gone for it on 4th and 5 from the 16 instead of attempting the field goal. Classic 20/20 hindsight, but it's only a 33 yard field goal attempt! High school kids make that! It was essentially a free three points for a team that had already pissed away a touchdown with a failed fake punt.

LSU on offense now, it's 3rd and 10 following two nearly-picked Russell passes. Remember, he's streaky. He's also wrapped up six yards short of the first down on the subsequent play, and LSU trots out the punt team. Replay shows that Russell fumbled AGAIN, but it goes unnoticed by Kenny, Howie, and Terry. I'm telling you, if there's one guy who can win this game for Notre Dame, it's The Immense And Lengthy JaMarcus Russell. Punt, fair catch, commercial, beer run.

Whoa, guys! Careful on those 20,000 foot ladders! It's only a crystal football, you can probably pick one up at Nick Saban's garage sale in Miami.

In a stunning admission, Terry Bradshaw says that he didn't go to LSU because he couldn't pass the SAT test. And by "stunning", I mean stunning that he admitted it. Meanwhile, Notre Dame is taking what LSU gives them, which is six yard chunks of real estate. McKnight makes a nice bobbling catch, and ND is now at the LSU 39. Quinn goes deep for Samardzija and the LSU safety and cornerback converge for the interception near the goal line. You can't say Notre Dame hasn't had its share of chances in this game. Still, they're a JaMarcus Russell goal line fumble away from a tie game.

Back from commercial and the interception is reviewed and overturned! More bonus points for Terry Bradshaw, who correctly notes that the ball never touched the ground. Sadly, Bradshaw isn't wearing stripes tonight and the pass will go down as incomplete in tonight's boxscore. Not a single replay showed the ball hitting the ground. Let's remember that. It's 3rd and 8 on the LSU 36, and this is four down territory. Quinn throws an unconscionable interception under a heavy rush by LSU, and the Tigers hit a 30 yard pass after taking over on their own 42. The ball is fumbled as the receiver is tackled and whistles are blown. Charlie Weis is convinced that he can challenge this, but he's wrong.

I could be wrong, but I think Howie Long made a "Scrooged" joke with his "take Walt off the list for a towel and give him a VCR" comment. Am I imagining that?

The Tigers line up for a field goal and their kicker sails the ball directly over the "S" in LSU. Unfortunately, the "LSU" is badly off-center and the kick sails wide right.

I hate to brag (no, I don't), but you'll notice that Brady Quinn gets rattled under pressure, JaMarcus Russell is eminently capable of bone-headed, bed crapping plays, and both teams' kicking units blow. I warned you.

Notre Dame is tearing LSU apart with their running game, and worms its way down to the LSU 10 yard line for a 3rd and 6. Samardzija easily ditches the LSU corner at the line of scrimmage, the safety is late to the party, and Quinn ties the game at 14-14 with a touchdown pass.

2:25 left in the second quarter, and this is suddenly a crucial point in the game for LSU. They need a few first downs at the very least. Giving Notre Dame the ball now could be a big problem. With that in mind, LSU breaks a 20 yard run and Fox inexplicably cuts to some sort of weird semi-psuhup routine by the Notre Dame band. In the middle of the play. Well played, Fox.

Notre Dame calls timeout just as LSU throws a lateral pass to Early Doucet, and I swear Doucet was getting ready to throw the ball downfield. Les Miles is not amused. Russell lobs a lengthy pass to Doucet, and LSU is at the Irish 5. They run a QB draw, and Russell plods his way to six points. Still 1:15 left for Notre Dame to tie it up before halftime. 21-14, LSU.

Howie just called these the "top two quarterbacks in the country." Okay. Terry followed that up with, "I don't care about your size or how strong your arm is, but if you panic, you can't play quarterback." He would've LOVED Zack Mills.

Notre Dame makes a weak attempt at a scoring drive, but lets time run out before they even make it to midfield. It's a seven-point lead for LSU at halftime, which is a fair representation of the first half. Each team is playing relatively well, but just poorly enough to keep its opponent in the game.

I love a good halftime fan-attempted field goal, and a Notre Dame fans hooks a 25-yarder for the consolation prize of $10,000. That would make him the sixth highest paid Ohio State Buckeye!

LSU wins the coss and defers, Notre Dame to receive the kickoff. Touchback. Your officials are from the Big Twelve, if you care about that sort of thing.

Notre Dame is moving the ball through the air, and Jeff Samardzija gets an incredibly stupid unsportsmanlike conduct penalty. He makes lemonade out of lemons on the next play, however, as he shakes a number of LSU defenders for a five yard gain on an otherwise snuffed out end-around.

I was just about to type the words, "if you're a Notre Dame fan, you have to be slightly encouraged," because even though the Irish were about to punt, they had discovered a few holes in the LSU defense. Then Charlie Weis called for a fake punt which was eaten alive by the LSU special teams on the Irish 30 yard line. While Albert and Long fawn over the guts of Charlie Weis, Terry Bradshaw, ever the voice of reason, says he wouldn't have tried that from his own 30 yard line. JaMarcus Russell leads the offense onto the field, deep pass to the 3, handoff, touchdown LSU.

Notre Dame's still going nowhere. Brady Quinn looks decidedly off so far. LSU is all over everything, and takes over at their 20 following an Irish punt. The Tigers are already out to midfield, and their band is playing "Eye Of The Tiger". You know how I love the sweet sounds of Survivor. Terry Bradshaw is again talking about JaMarcus Russell's height and weight. I want a cardboard cutout measuring chart of Russell, just to be sure.

A funny moment quickly follows as the announcers try to compare Russell to a pro quarterback. Terry jokingly compares himself to Joe Namath, Howie compares himself to Mean Joe Greene, and Terry asks Kenny Albert who he'd compare his work to, and without missing a beat, Kenny says "Randall Cunningham!"

Oh yeah, touchdown LSU. Russell fired a laser over a Notre Dame linebacker and in front of a defensive back to Dwayne Bowe, who was on a post pattern. After the kickoff, Quinn is sacked for a ten yard loss as LSU sniffs out another screen. That doesn't stop the Irish, however, as they're now approaching the LSU 35. I'm getting really creeped out by Howie's and Terry's discussions of length.

Notre Dame calls a sweet 3rd-and-short quick running play, and before you know it, Brady Quinn is lofting a nice pass to David Grimes for a touchdown. 14-7, LSU.

Someone's band is playing "We Want The Funk", and it makes me very happy. Early Doucet is injured on the ensuing kickoff, and JaMarcus Russell fumbles on LSU's second play of the drive. Notre Dame falls on the ball at the LSU 21 yard line, and Howie immediately brings up Russell's size, this time as a liability. Okay. Not creepy at all, Howie.

Anyway, it's Officially A Ball Game as time runs out on the first quarter.

First, I would like to apologize for bumping USC Song Girl AssGate from the top of the page, and thank Awful Announcing for giving me an opportunity to crack fat jokes for the next six hours. As mentioned below, I have a little site called Run Up The Score. It's mainly a college football blog, but often deviates into such topics as mentally challenged headbangers, Jenn Sterger's implants, music, and Pittsburgh sports fans that just need to put their clothes on and shut up.

It's going to be a long night, so let's just cut to the pre-game formalities.

Tonight's Allstate Sugar Bowl returns to it's proper home of the Louisiana Superdome and is essentially a home game for the Louisiana State Tigers. The location also provides a convenient post-game excuse for Notre Dame, who could set a new NCAA record for most consecutive bowl losses (9).

Just for fun, let's look back at Notre Dame's previous eight bowl losses.

Fiesta Bowl	January, 1995	Loss - Notre Dame 24, Colorado 41
Orange Bowl	January, 1996	Loss - Notre Dame 26, Florida State 31
Independence Bowl	December, 1997	Loss - Notre Dame 9, LSU 27
Gator Bowl	January, 1999	Loss - Notre Dame 28, Georgia Tech 35
Fiesta Bowl	January, 2000	Loss - Notre Dame 9, Oregon State 41
Gator Bowl	January 1, 2003	Loss - Notre Dame 6, NC State 28
Insight Bowl	December 28, 2004	Loss - Notre Dame 21, Oregon State 38
Fiesta Bowl	January 2, 2005	Loss - Notre Dame - 20, Ohio State 34

So, Notre Dame hasn't only lost their last eight bowl games, they were beaten by at least 14 points in six of those eight losses.




Fox is carrying the Sugar Bowl, and has assigned the team of Kenny Albert, Terry Bradshaw, Howie Long and Jeanne Zelasko to bring us the action. This could get fun. And by "fun", I mean "disasterous." ESPN Radio has the infinitely better team of Brad Nessler, Bob Griese, Paul Maguire and Erin Andrews. Erin Andrews on the radio? That's a bigger tease than the USC Song Girl actually sporting underwear.

Anyway, each school will receive between $14 million and $17 million from the Bowl Championship Series for their efforts. Naturally, LSU will be treated as the home team, which doesn't prevent Notre Dame from wearing those unlucky green jerseys since LSU usually wears white at home. The Irish have a 5-4 record all-time against LSU. The official Sugar Bowl site breathlessly notes that "Notre Dame (10-2), winners of eight of its last nine games, became BCS bowl eligible by tallying nine or more wins in their season." So did 22 other teams, but who's counting?

The general Vegas consensus is LSU (-8.5). As a gambler, I don't trust JaMarcus Russell to blow out any decent team, and the potential for Brady Quinn to put up garbage points is too great for me to resist taking Notre Dame and the points. As a college football fan and decent member of society, I hope LSU wins by 30. Also, I'll be visiting New Orleans for the first time in a few weeks and grew up as a Notre Dame-hating Penn State fan in northeastern Pennsylvania, where everybody is either a PSU or Notre Dame fan. So yeah, you could say I have a rooting interest in this one.

What To Watch For:

• Can Notre Dame's offensive line protect Brady Quinn, and will LSU defensive coordinator Bo Pelini be able to generate pressure with only his front four? If Notre Dame can keep Quinn upright or force LSU to blitz linebackers and safeties, WR's Rhema McKnight and Jeff Samardzija could break loose. So could Irish TE John Carlson, who torched Penn State earlier this season.
• Which JaMarcus Russell will show up? This should be easy pickings for Russell, who is the streakiest high-profile quarterback in college football this year. He can be unstoppable at times, but can also crap the bed with the best of 'em.
• Big plays on special teams. Neither team's kicking game is particularly good, which means something freaky is bound to happen. A missed extra point or chip shot field goal, a busted punt coverage, or a blocked kick could go a long way in helping Notre Dame notch the upset.
• Will LSU's fans actually make it into Superdome, or will they be carted off to the nearest emergency room?

Prediction: LSU 34, Notre Dame 30. I'm torn between wanting a close, entertaining game, or a complete blowout, which would force Marv Albert to break into "announcer time wasting mode" with Terry and Howie.

Ladies and gentlemen, start your Fatty McButterpants jokes!