Pictured - The movers and shakers of modern sports today. Also pictured - Gary Bettman.

War, Famine, Pestilence and Death emerged from their meeting confident that their "end of days" strategy for managing their leagues will result in greater revenues and an enhanced fan experience.

Goodell to Selig: Come on Bud, Gillette, the best a man can get."

Not pictured: Satan.

Three Jews and a Republican walk into a bar...

Anyone gonna tell Bettman they're towing his zamboni outside?

David Stern has found a lineup that makes him look trustworthy AND competenet!

*One of these things is not like the others.
*One of these things doesn't belong.
*Can you tell which thing is not like the others.
*By the time we finish this song...
*Did you guess which thing is not like the others.
*Did you guess real hard with all your might.
*Well, If you guessed this thing (on the right)is not like the others. Then I think your right.

Is the thing on the right a flapping head with beady little eyes?

The commissioners of the four major North American professional sports re-enact everyone's favorite scene from Total Recall. A man with three boobs.

Stern to Goodell, "Why don't we ditch Bettman at the restaurant and stick him with the bill."

Bettman (to himself): That's right, Gary, just keep doing exactly what Goodell does....

Bettman: *whispering to Goodell* "One of us! One of us!..."

If this is the "Future of Sports," why isn't Mine That Bird in place of Gary Bettman?

Goodell to Selig: I thought you said we were ditching Frenchy and bringing in Vince McMahon?

Bettman:"Want me to ruin your guy's leagues too!"

Goodell:"Hey Stern, I could handle the crimminals in your league."

Selig:"At least you guys don't have genital herpes."

Stern:"Hey Goodell, I could handle the crooked refs in your league."

Generalissimo Goodell: "You're grabbing my ass because I'm doing such a good job with the NFL or...?"
Selig: "Uh, yeah. That's sounds right. Th-that's my custom with everybody."

One more...

Goodell: (to Bettman) "Wait... don't tell me... I know this one... you are... you're the hockey guy, right?"

Bettman: "That is correct, Goodell! You're smarter than Comcast gave you credit for. Speaking of which... can you loan me $2.50 for bus fare? Stern stole my change jar and shared it with Selig to fund Yankee Stadium's stimulus package"

The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse.

Mount Rushmore, if you're looking through the wrong side of the binoculars.

Gary's big day...THREE interviews for internships in ONE AFTERNOON!

Not pictured: The Commissioner of the More Taste League who is passed out on the floor.

Doc, Dopey, Grumpy and Bashful while on a trip to NYC (not pictured, Snow White, Happy, Sleepy and Sneezy)

duck, duck, duck... goose.

Goodell: Don't worry, guys. You can work for the NFL when your leagues no longer exist...but not you Stern...you went to Rutgers...

Here stands the most powerful and recognizable group of commissioners in all of team sports........oh, and and Gary Bettman too.

Roger Goodell is a lifelong admirer of the Three Stooges. Here he's seen getting photographed with his idols.

from left to right: not good, terrible, good, who is that?

pictured: 4 men who know nothing about sports

Little known fact, Gary Bettman also served as the caterer as well as Roger Godell's personal ass-wiper.

"Everybody who likes hockey, raise your hand. Good."

Moe, Larry, Curly, and Shemp!

Keeping it real, yo!

Goodell: Watch me alienate my fans better than all of you put together when I move the Super Bowl to London!

Goodell: Bettman? Seriously? Who's next, those clowns from BASEketball

Hey, little guy on the right!! Get out of my shot!! This is professional sports commissioners ONLY.

Stern: So I told Gary "You should TOTALLY take over the NHL and expand into southern markets. It'll be brilliant!" Remember that? How's Phoenix working out for you?

Bettman: ...

Fuck you, fuck you, you're cool, fuck you...

Stern: Who invited Bettman? Get out of here, this is a summit for real Commissioners.

Goodell: Yeah! It'd be like Dennis Kucinich showing up at a summit of Presidents.

Not a caption, just an observation. The commissioners the taller the commissioner is the more popular his sport is. Goodell, then Bud, then Stern, then Bettman.

For Hockey to become popular again they are going to need a 7 foot commish.

so much for diversity

The Three Commissioners travel to Russia to meet with Putin.

Goodell(to himself): Why did I have to tell Bettman about this. I figured he wouldn't show up anyway, its not the future of canada symposium. Now I look like a giant, cuz he just had to stand next to me.

Goodell: "So what you guys are saying is that I have to shut my league down for a year before you give me my decoder ring?"

Commissioners David Stern, Bud Selig, and Roger Goodell pose for a photo with the wife of NHL star Sidney Crosby.

selig: haha, the major league soccer commish thinks he's in the shot...

stern: so does bettman...

thought bubbles)
Stern:...jackasses
Selig:...jackasses
Goodell:...jackasses
Betteman:Hurry uuuuuuuuup I wanna see Sidneeyyyyyyy

You see four commissioners; I see the next Guitar Hero commercial.

Selig: Alright, next photo, no pants! Who's with me?

Pictured above: the top four candidates to replace the gynecologist Steelers fan on Price is Right.

Selig: "Hey Gary you wanna see Star Trek with me on Friday? Trekkies unite."

Roger Goodell muttering under his breath: "Wow these guys are complete tools."

When Bill Gates had to drop out of the photo shoot with Stern, Goddell and Bettman unexpectedly, luckily the stand-in was available.

This could be a Viagra spot and no one would know the difference.

Pictured: David Stern, Bud Selig, Roger Goodell, and ... and..... and.... Some one get security, we gotta keep these crazy randoms from jumping into these pictures.

The four commissioners gather to announce the unprecedented. They've combined baseball, football, basketball, and hockey all into 1 sport and they're planning on scheduling the first ever game of basefootskethockeyball in a remote village in Vanuatu.

Roger Goodell plans to have the championship game in Tunisia.

The Apocalypse draws nigh...

no, no, no and no

Is this the new picture from the opening scene just before Leslie Nielsen comes in and kicks everyone's ass in the remake of the first Naked Gun movie? By the way, Marcus Allen wants more money to play Dreben's partner

Roger: Hey Gary, nice suit! Do you know if they make it in a men's size?

Bettman is trying to hide his boner...

Selig just crapped himself but is delightfully pleased with his decision to wear Depends for this photo-op. Well played Bud... Well played...

Smile, we've got hookers!

Present, past, future, and is that still around?