I don't care if he's in street clothes, I say Yao fouled me on that last shot and you need to blow your whistle, punk.

"If you were in the stands, I'd knock you out"

Kobe: "Remember I get all the calls."

Artest: "Have you bought my Rap Album yet?"

Kobe: Hold on, are you implying that I am the crazy one?

Artest: "Don't make me get a piece of lead from a table and throw it through Kobe's heart....Don't you know im Ron Artest!"

Artest: "Yes, Kobe, we know your snot smells like roses."

Kobe: (to the official): "Perhaps you've been under a rock for I don't know, 12 years, but I'm the best thing since sliced bread. Give me some $%*&@+ calls."

Artest: "I see dead people"

I can't believe we're losing to these guys.

Artest: "I must..kill...the queen."

Kobe to Ref: "Look, he has a picture of me bending some girl over, with the Rocky Mountains in the background, and its shaved into his head. Call the Technical!!!!!"

Kobe: "No I'm not embarassed! Ron is playing a great game, give him some f***ing credit, I mean for real!"

Kobe: "Name one thing that would cause me to be the Create-The-Caption two out of the last three times."
Artest: "What about--"
Kobe: "Don't answer that! You're no freaking saint."

Wait, last week you said I *WASN'T* the father. What the f*$k?

I told you fans are not allowed to make "bunny ears" with those damn thunder sticks, call the "T"

And the most criminal person in this picture is the man with his back to the camera.

Ref(in his head): I'm so glad my daughter isn't here.

Kobe: "Ref! How dare you make such a call? I can't believe that you would actually say that Artest's ass tastes better than mine!"

/Shaq'd.

Kobe: I'm not going into the stands looking for trouble. Does this look like Colorado to you?

"So my final count is: Yao shirts - 9,152; Kobe shirts - 1."

Kobe to ref: "Would you like to shoot him now, or wait 'til you get home?"
Artest to ref: "Shoot him now! Shoot him now! It's rabbit season!"
Kobe to Artest: "You keep out of this, he doesn't have to shoot you now..."