"His jakehammer feet."- Dave Lapham

""Can't beat the weather, can't beat the atmosphere."-Dave Lapham

"The Jayhawker one yard line."- Joel Myers

Chris Fowler on Thursday night called Stephen Garcia: "Sanchez," on a pass.

Dave Lapham about Todd Reesing: "He's MENSA with his football IQ."

"Both of these teams are undefeated for a reason: Resiliency."- Lapham

"He looks like a water bug. Just scooting along."-Ray Bentley

"George Jefferson, moving on up."-Robert Smith, talking about the Miss St.-LSU game.

"Tyson Lee is a senior quarterback, he has to know better than to force the ball into coverage." - Andre Ware talking about Mississippi State's QB throwing an interception against LSU on 4th down. Ware does not realize that throwing an interception on 4th down is often beneficial and in this case it backs LSU up around 20 yards further than they'd be if it was an incompletion.

Andre Ware talking about the Tebow flu: "Argubly, Tebow's backup, John Brantley, is the third-best QB in the SEC. They'll be alright today."

What about Joe Cox, Jevan Snead, Garcia, Jonathan Crompton, or Chris Todd?

John Congemi- "Cincinnati is in a second and good situation."

On that George Jefferson, it's actually Jordan Jefferson.

Pam Ward was calling the Indiana-Michigan game a "upset alert" with five minutes still in the 2nd quarter.

"Naaman Roosevelt is hit by a host of cherry-shirted Temple defenders" Michael Reghi

"I think Rich Rod might be a little upset."-Pam Ward

You think! Michigan just imploded on that drive.

On the Wisconsin game, ESPN is showing people how to jump at the fifth quarter.

Pam Ward: "Doss uses his speed to squirt out of bounds."

"Fifth red zone possession for Indiana. They have one touchdown and three field goals."- Pam Ward

Um, Pam that would be four possession's. Also Indiana has scored two touchdowns.

The color guy on the Wake Forest game sounds like a zombie.

"Dawes was the outside guy, worked inside, then did a little whip route, where you move inside then *whip it back out*" - Ray Bentley

Talking about blocking:

Steve Martin: "What's the difference between engagement and shading?"

Doc Walker: "Well, engagement is engagement, y'know... and shadin' is shadin'..."

(Laughter)

They keep showing the same Danica Patrick ad on ESPN360.

"He came on got him....on the.....foot."-Pam Ward

"Forcier runs with it and leaps............touchdown Michigan."- Pam Ward

What's with the long pauses from Pammy?

Michael Reghi- "Came underneath and picked off by the big man, Andre Nebla! Wow!"

Mike Gleason (Cincinnati-Fresno State): "Travis Kelce looked like a senior in HS against 8th graders in the Rutgers game."

Someone on the Wisco- MSU game, probably Chris Speilman, on how to avoid a block in the back penalty-
"You throw your hands in the air like you just don't care, like in that rap song"

John Congemi: "He's going to come and separate this football away from Chastain West, and that's a big hit in this football game that wins this football game for Cincinnati."

Mike Gleason- "This team is a really good team, as they have to travel back to the San Joaquin Valley with a 1-3 record."

Ray Bentley: "Nick Polk came over and P-rolled him (after a Tate Forcier hard hit)"

"Iowa trying to get the revenge for losing, oh, excuse me, Penn State lost so they are the ones looking for revenge." - Pam Ward

"Forcier does it again!" - Pam Ward

"Indiana brings the house and does not get home." - Ray Bentley

In a promo for the PSU-Iowa game: " Iowa tries to get revenge for losing...for beating...Penn State. So Penn State wants the revenge on Iowa."

Sounds like Pam may take all 10 spots this week

Bob Griese: "I think Swenson was coached to do a squib kick."

"It's in the grill - in the grill and in the earhole." Dave Lapham

Verne Lundquist just asked "Do I look voluptuous?"

Some horrible camera angles on the TCU-Clemson game. A fixed camera on the 30 yard line.

Small fight in the Illinois-Ohio State game.

Dave Neal: "Miss St was a size 9 shoe from getting in".

Yes, I heard it too. Anthony Dixon.

"Todd Reesing is now 24-6 as a starter for Kansas....He's won 75% of the games he's played."
- Dave Lapham

Andre Ware: "That man (Dan Mullen) has coached a football game today."

Ron Franklin, doesn't know who is at the studio, John Saunders or Matt Winer. Then, he says "Thank you, Mr. Winer."

The referee in the Clemson-TCU game sounds like Barack Obama.

Rob Otto (Akron-CMU): "There's not a lot of 3rd and a mile plays in the Akron playbook."

"I am the guy that will keep you in the know with schools and highlights from around the country." - Matt Winer

Danny Kanell- "Clemson's offense lives on for another down."

Dave Weekley: "Spiller has got a 60-yard gainer in each of his first three games."

Like 90% of these are just stupidity on your guys end or something you wanted to hear. Do you guys even like football or do you just follow to laugh at announcers?

Furthermore...goodness, what has happened to this site? Same thing as Deadspin, I suppose. A blog can only get too popular before its quality drops.

You practice with wet balls all the time. - Ed Cunningham

"This is the first time the Gun Trap has been done." Some announcer on Wake-BC

This guy, Jeff Genyk, begins all his statements with "ladies and gentlemen."

Todd Harris after an NC State TD - "Touchdown Pittsburgh! North Carolina State!"

I agree with your first comment Alexis.

Joe, 80 percent of your posts aren't funny at all.

I think AA will tell you he's back at school and would LOVE to have a weekend blogger of some sort to help out.


Please volunteer, Mr. Serna.

"If you notice, Jacory Harris has a nice, clean jersey. He's starting fresh." - Matt Millen on Harris' jersey to start the 2nd half.

Actual ESPN Graphic: "Gators Headline: Can they bounce back from a 10-point win?"

Are the graphics department elligible for a Pammy award?

Seeing as you're obviously so good at this, I'm sure AA would love to employ your services over the weekend, Alexis......

"I think we're safe in here. These guys seem relatively healthy." - Wendi Nix talking about Todd McShay and Robert Smith

Gannon: These guys [Oregon Fans] like it. Check their IQ after the game. You ever done that Dave?
Norrie: No
Gannon: You're lying. I know you're lying. I know you too well after three years of working

"It was a year ago this weekend that Tim Tebow was forced to make that inspirational speech after the upset loss to Ole Miss." - Mark Jones, who may end up in the hospital by the end of the night.

Bob Davie- "It's like playing with one of those service academies, but only with a Heisman-winning QB."

David Norrie- "They'll have to put a rating on that Washington State-USC game. It could get ugly."

"Trying to tackle Tebow is like trying to tackle a moving refrigerator. And the refrigerator is winning." - Mark Jones

David and Terry talking about throwbacks, with Oregon wearing their 1995 uniforms today: "Throw-back is at least 70's, or the disco era."

"You can't stop the Gator rain!" - Mark Jones after Chris Rainey blocked a Kentucky punt and fell on it in the endzone for a touchdown.

Mark Jones = Thom Brennaman in disguise.

"Right now they've got the Kentucky defense looking sick." - Mark Jones after (once again) talking about the respiratory illness that several of the Gators have.

"Tebow stopped on a dime and didn't leave any change for the Wildcats." - Mark Jones

"He delivers the blow in everything he does." - Bob Davie on Tim Tebow

and

"There's not a phony bone in his body." - Bob Davie talking about, once again, Tim Tebow!

"Right now, we're in horse country, and they are riding Tim Tebow like Secretariat. Or Seabiscuit. They're all winners." - Mark Jones

Tiny Ohio University is tied with Tennessee.

Watching Ohio-Tenn. Whoever is doing the play by play in 2nd quarter says (14-14 game)--this game is far from over.

Then they show Lane Kiffin holding his chart sheet and the announcer asks his analyst how many plays does Kiffin have?

Answer: Quite a few--

Thanks for the great commentary guys

How many times during the week do you think Mark Jones practices those lines?

Many times. He probably memorizes them, and they're part of his "script."

"Speaking of tools, here's one. Rainey on the carry." - Davey

Mark Jones- "Tim Tebow can really take your heart away on some of those runs."

Bob: "You know he wants to be an NFL QB, but he just wants to win for Florida right now."

Tebow is hurt.

"Now the Dallas Cowboys cannot lose 2 straight in their new digs, can they?" - Brent Musburger, who has obviously had too much of an experience last night (and possibly tonight) with the biggest party school in the nation.

Brent Musberger: Did you have some of that Peachy Paterno ice cream?

Kirk Hirbstreit: Yeah, I had to stumble over there. What about you?

Brent Musberger: No, I was reaching for a Peachy Sam Adams.

"Let's go to Big John Saunders in New York." - Brent Musburger

these tenn broadcasters are LAME

I swear I heard Brent call a player a little rascal after a caught ball.

"You're watching Sunday Night Football on ABC." - Brent Musburger

"You've got to get off"
-Erin Andrews
"That's what..."
-Brad Nessler

Mike Patrick: "There is Adam Jones on the field for Texas Tech". When it was actually Adam JAMES, son of Patrick's broadcast partner, Craig James. Butchered in a way that could only be done by the inebriated Mike Patrick.

"That's when Elliot said 'I like him. I like number 8. I like those 2 circles on that 8'". - Brad Nessler

"It could be the 5th top 5 season, 5th top 10 team this week to lose a game." - Rece Davis

During Ohio State - Illinois game, after a muffed punt by Ray Small... "He reached in between Small's legs and grabbed the loose ball" - Cunningham

"They've got a leprechaun in their pocket!" - Mike Patrick after Wendi Nix told showed the Notre Dame 4th down TD that won the game for them in the final minute.

Awkward silence followed.

"I think do what you do is great advice." - Mike Patrick

"He comes up with a very short punch, punt." - Mike Patrick

"Look at that hole. Mike, you and I would have had a chance on that one." - Craig James
"You would." - Mike Patrick

"Linebackers and defensive backs are just defensive ends with the athletic ability to stand up."

-Phil Simms.

They're showing a replay of the MSU/Wisconsin game on ESPN and I'm pretty sure I just heard Bob Griese say "...it's like that saying: 'Fool me once, shame on me, fool me twice, shame on you'"