Cuban looks at the scoreboard, which shows Avery Johnson flipping him off.

That's the last time I use those urinals

Ok, season's over...Now where the f*ck is Erin Andrews?!?

(she interviewed him last night)

If I buy the Cubs, can you guarantee me that the best this team will ever do is make the playoffs and choke? Where do I sign?

I wonder if Bartman can play the point...

Not really a caption, but a comment - when in the hell did Mark Cuban get replaced by the guy who played Doctor Octopus in SpiderMan 2?

http://www.hollywoodjesus.com/movie/spider-man2/47.jpg

Ya know...if I owned the Cubs, I'd bring back Ryne Sandberg for the postseason run. Can't go wrong with the big names and age is only a number...

"At least this team isn't as cursed as mine."

Just kinda sittin here looking to buy another team that can't win a championship.

Mark Cuban watches a Cubs video of the last 100 years on the scoreboard at Wrigley Field and has sick feeling of deja vu.

Cuban: Thank god that's over, now I can escape that nasally voise and watch some real champions... wait a minute... the Cubs... oh god...

And the Cuban is practicing staring
As Josh Howard slowly gets stoned
Yes, theyre sharing a drink they call Old Style
But its better than being alone

Hey at least if I buy the Cubs I can expect them to suck when it counts. Maybe I can buy the Phoenix Suns while I'm at it too.

I bet Jason Kidd would make a great Pitcher

I don't feel so bad...ESPN will surely pick up "The Great Enunciator" for the rest of the playoffs.

I don't see any tits in the bleachers.....I am definitely not buying this team.

Cuban looks at the jumbotorn. He sees himself and is scared. " Is that the UniBomber behind me? "

Fire Lou Piniella

I AM SO FUCKING SICK OF SEEING MARK CUBAN AT SPORTING EVENTS.

Sorry, I don't have a comment.

Man, I still can't figure out how many teeth Avery had, he was like some kind of lizard monster or something, scary. Good thing I had the janitor give him his pink slip.

Hmm, I wonder if Tafoya will return my call, I like her a lot, she sort of looks like me, but not really, and she has that deep voice, the kind I like.

Why wasn't I born in Upper St. Clair, Mt. Lebo sucked so bad at everything, what a shitbag town.

Come on Tafoya, come to Poppy. I hope she doesn't find my wide-ranging collection of red ball gags. She might like it, but probably not. Well, maybe she will.

I would love to buy this team, take them from the perennial league basement, and perpetually fall short in the playoffs despite having some of the best players in the sport, but it appears that my work has already been done.

Finally, a place where I'm not the biggest douchebag.

Mark Cuban Style RickRoll:


You're never gonna win it all,
Always gonna take a fall,
As long as you give the ball to Nowitzki,
He'll never be known as clutch,
Cause the pressure is too much,
Maybe you should learn to be more thrifty,

You could have resigned Steve Nash,
But now you suffer with an aging Kidd,
You got the life and a load of cash,
But I bet you're regretting what you did,

Yet another person looks at Buzz Bissinger and thinks "What the fuck is he talking about?"

Oh, that's what Marty Brennamen was talking about!

Lifeforce...slipping...need...new...Precioussss

I wonder if I can find a coach shorter and a funnier talker than Avery? I got it, Pat Reilly.

By the way, I thought I coined the phrase hilarity ensues, but happy to share it with you.

Harry Caray's long lost twin brother tries to convince Mark Cuban the Cubs DON'T suck.

Mark looks, like so many other Cubans, completely adrift.

Mark Cuban is unimpressed with the "Abe Lincoln on the Penny" impression of the man sitting to his left.

OR (the easy one)

Mark Cuban is watching you masturbate.

Hmm, Dairy Queen Park would be a good name for this place...

Didn't know Severus Snape liked the Mavs...

Woah, what the hell was in that brownie that Josh gave me? I need a hot dog. No, I need 10 hot dogs. Mmmmmm...10 hot dogs.

Val Kilmer looks disappointed after hearing from everyone that he sucked as Batman.

"Man, is that guy over there blogging this game? Why I oughta...."

"I'm so drunk & stoned after Josh Howard's birthday party that Ronny Woo Woo is looking good to me."

"Aw damn, its Avery. God, this is awkward."

Is Martin Lawrence available to coach?

"Mark Cuban thinking about how bad Mark Cuban sucks..."

Mark Cuban wonders how he can keep bloggers from blogging about the Cubbies from the buildings across from Wrigley.