ESPN's Newest Basketball Analyst Needs Some Caffeine

Tuesday, May 27, 2008


Quick, name the number of current or former coaches and players that ESPN has on payroll for their NBA coverage? Give up??? Eleven. Eleven out of twenty three personalities that they can go to for analysis of the Lakers-Spurs Series rather than add a twelfth.

That twelfth person....Cleveland Cavs Guard Damon Jones....



Zzzzzzzzzzzzz. You couldn't make Jones more boring if you hit him with a handkerchief of chloroform. How can someone who's so crazy on the court (even when he isn't playing) come off so dull and repetitive? I do like how he said that Manu and Parker "spurred the Spurs" though. That was clever.

Seriously though, I know it's the Summer but ESPN has been basically running a current athlete TV Training course over the last few months. Braylon Edwards was on NFL Live for multiple days, they have in-car analysis from Nationwide drivers, and AC Milan’s Clarence Seedorf provided nothing during a half of the UEFA Final. If I was a current personality I'd be a tad bit bitter. I mean when is the last time you saw Jamal Mashburn or Dee Brown on an NBA telecast?

It would be one thing if most current and former athletes were like Charles Barkley, but 99% of the time they're afraid to say anything controversial (see: Herm Edwards). This causes them to come across boring as hell, much like their newest hire Damon Jones. Having a stable of athletes to parade out usually doesn't make your coverage any better.

Posted by Awful Announcing- at 10:36 AM

4 Comments:

I haven't seen Damon do analysis yet but this is surprising. I figured that he would be talking smack about everybody.

GMoney said...
May 27, 2008, 10:59:00 AM  

Jeez that was boring!

It would've helped a little if there was some music behind him and some video clips of the game were playing while he talked.

Instead we just get to watch him blink around 90 times (yeah I counted).

MarkCiz said...
May 27, 2008, 11:36:00 AM  

These guys can't win. We complain when they scream and gesticulate and say outrageous stuff. We complain when they speak in an even tone and remain still and offer rational analysis.

Having said that, with all the WHOOSH-WHOOSH going on, the difference between him and the E! S! P! N! tone was pretty stark.

tcv said...
May 27, 2008, 3:27:00 PM  

THANK YOU!!! I am so sick and tired of guys lik Mashburn, Jon Barry or any other former athlete who doesn't use the handle of John Kruk. These guys weren't compelling athletes on the court/field, and they spark even less interest sitting in a studio or a booth. Enough, ESPN! Enough!

Michael said...
May 28, 2008, 2:29:00 AM  

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