ESPN Sunday Night Baseball Open Thread: Twins vs. Red Sox

Sunday, May 11, 2008


(posted by One More Dying Quail)

Tonight, we have one of those nationally televised matchups that's always nice to see, between two teams that just don't get enough coverage: the Boston Red Sox (who haven't been on ESPN in like six whole days!) and the Minnesota Twins (who were last on ESPN...I don't know when. It was probably last Wednesday, making me look even dumber than usual). All useless hype aside, it's the third of four games between the leaders in the AL East and AL Central, with each team putting one in the win column so far. My wife's "boyfriend", Tim Wakefield (3-1, 3.33) goes against Twins rookie Robert Nicholas Blackburn, popularly known as "Nick" (2-2, 3.65).

Join us below for the best of Joe and Jon. I'd be willing to bet there are approximately twelve mentions of Manny Ramirez (despite the fact that he isn't even playing), eight mentions of David Ortiz's offensive difficulties, and seven conversations about how hard it is to hit a knuckleball.


During the pregame Baseball Tonight, when Chris Berman said, "Hunter Pence", and I immediately thought to myself, "Hunter "Six" Pence "None the Richer"." I want to die.

Haha - when the game came on and Jon and Joe appeared on our screen, my wife said, "AAAAAH! I'm definitely leaving the room now." She doesn't like the fellas, Jon in particular.

One each for Manny and Ortiz - and the game still hasn't started. Also, I neglected to mention the infatuation with Carlos Gomez's speed. I'd be willing to bet we hear an Ellsbury-Gomez comparison at some point.

(Guess what I noticed about a week ago and forgot to mention? Ellsbury was originally drafted by the Tampa Bay Devils Rays in the 23rd round in 2002. Thank God he chose not to sign and lasted until the 23rd overall pick in '05.)

"He hit 18 homeruns last year..." - Jon, talking about Kevin Youkilis - Nope, he hit 16. Close though.

Nice job by ESPN to catch Youkilis' "FUCK!" as he returned to the bench after striking out.

"There are a lot of different philosophies on trying to hit the knuckleball..." - Joe - NICE! First batter in the bottom of the first!

My favorite "Youk's F-bomb" comment:

I think he yells "FUCK" every time he messes up. He probably screams "FUCK" at 200 decibels when he forgets to get milk at the grocery store. I really dislike Youk, and I'm a Sox fan. - NHZ

Youkilis is one of those guys who is always a little overly intense, to the point that it makes me sort of embarassed to watch him sometimes (kinda like Jason Varitek about five years ago). Also, his general state of sweatiness scares me. He should consult a doctor.

"Ellsworth gave it a try..." - Joe - Which Ellsworth was that, Joe? Steve or Dick? Both played for the Sox, but I'm pretty sure neither one is in centerfield tonight.

Does Joe really need to explain why it's better to get hit in the back than in the front of the body? Short answer: because it hurts a hell of a lot less in the back.

"is it just me, or is the fantasy update above the banner graphic too distracting/meaningless. i'm sure some group is in a bar right now wagering on who comes the closest to guessing carlos gomez's average on a 3-1 count." - anonymous

I actually don't mind it all that much. It's small enough that I barely even notice it unless someone points it out (which has happened two weeks in a row now).

"It'd be interesting to see a footrace between Ellsbury and Coco Crisp." - Jon - I know this is the new era of Red Sox fandom, happiness and glee and all that happy crappy stuff, but this needs to be said: there is no way a race between Coco Crisp and Jacoby Ellsbury ends without some horrible injury befalling Ellsbury. No way. It should never happen. Boston doesn't need another Juan Pena.

All that talk about Delmon Young's assist totals and his strong arm, and neither Jon nor Joe mentions that Manny Ramirez threw out 17 runners in 2005. What a shame.

"[Ortiz] has hit two line drives that you could hang your clothes on for a couple weeks." - Joe - Actually, I have nothing negative to add here. I like that line and think that Joe should say stuff like this more often. Descriptive without being stupid.

"You don't have to have great speed, you have to have great instincts." - Joe - Joe Castiglione also mentioned Dustin Pedroia's instincts on the Sox radio broadcast yesterday. Let's see...instinctive, Rookie of the Year, throws his body around for the team. It's official, Red Sox fans: set Dusty up with a supermodel or two and we have our very own mini-Jeter.

Finally - a good in-game interview with a manager. All it took was David Ortiz hamming it up in the background (and Tito threatening to kick his ass).

28 Comments:

Nice loud audible F-bomb dropped by Youkilis after his K.

Jeff said...
May 11, 2008, 8:19:00 PM  

the Youk F-Bomb was the 2nd time in 2 weeks. It happened on NESN last week sometime.

Adam said...
May 11, 2008, 8:25:00 PM  

I think he yells "FUCK" every time he messes up. He probably screams "FUCK" at 200 decibels when he forgets to get milk at the grocery store. I really dislike Youk, and I'm a Sox fan.

NHZ said...
May 11, 2008, 8:28:00 PM  

A lot of people think it's best to swing at the first pitch from a knuckleball pitcher b/c it's the best one you'll get. A lot of people don't.

A lot of people think the knuckleball moves better indoors...a lot of people think it moves better outdoors.

Hmmmm.....a lot of people think Joe's a moron and a lot of people think.....um, bad example.

Butterscotch said...
May 11, 2008, 8:28:00 PM  

Joe Morgan likes these domes and knuckleballs because there is "no air" inside

Adam said...
May 11, 2008, 8:32:00 PM  

Miller just called Ellsbury "Ellsworth"

Anonymous said...
May 11, 2008, 8:46:00 PM  

Anon I was just going to type that. I laughed so hard at that.

stephen a said...
May 11, 2008, 8:47:00 PM  

"there is no such thing as location with the knuckball" -- Joe


umm if he had the ball down it wouldnt get hit as hard.

adam said...
May 11, 2008, 8:51:00 PM  

"If it weren't for Ellsbury's speed, he would've been out."

Um, no shit, Joe?

NHZ said...
May 11, 2008, 9:03:00 PM  

How has it not occurred to ESPN that Miller should only ever be on the radio? If you sat through an actual conversation with someone who talked as much as Jon Miller did, where there was never anything like brief quiet moments, just incessant chatter, you'd either be reaching for the nearest sharp object you could find or already have your own padded room to enjoy.

This Guy said...
May 11, 2008, 9:14:00 PM  

is it just me, or is the fantasy update above the banner graphic too distracting/meaningless. i'm sure some group is in a bar right now wagering on who comes the closest to guessing carlos gomez's average on a 3-1 count.

Anonymous said...
May 11, 2008, 9:17:00 PM  

After Crisp's triple - Miller: "That was eh-heh-xciting to watch him just let it all hang out."

I'm most bothered by how he stuttered with enjoyment in the middle of his statement.

This Guy said...
May 11, 2008, 9:24:00 PM  

Now Morgan called Mauer "Moyer".

I hate these pricks.

Anonymous said...
May 11, 2008, 9:32:00 PM  

Agreed anon, it's like they want to see how sloppy they can be without getting fired...and they'll never be fired.

NHZ said...
May 11, 2008, 9:35:00 PM  

Great Jon...
Top 4th, 2 outs ... You said the bases are loaded, and after a hit TO THIRD, you tell us 2 runs have scored. Ummm... like, isn't your JOB to keep tract of these little things such as ...oh, the score and how many men are on base? I guess that stuff isn't important.

Kyng said...
May 11, 2008, 9:36:00 PM  

I expect some videos of the Red Sox nonstop cursing on ESPN

Anonymous said...
May 11, 2008, 10:04:00 PM  

Re: Pedroia as Jeter

Supermodels don't date 5'4" guys unless they are Tom Cruise.

Jay said...
May 11, 2008, 10:06:00 PM  

Joe said that you have less time to react to a 95-96 mph pitch than a 91 mph pitch - now that is HOF analysis. He must have played the game. Can someone sitting in a basement in his underwear check the internet to see if his math is correct?

butterscotch said...
May 11, 2008, 10:08:00 PM  

Joe can't even wish his Mom a happy Mothers' Day without screwing it up.

Monty said...
May 11, 2008, 10:17:00 PM  

Joe was disappointed that there wasn't a "bare hand job" in the crowd.

butterscotch said...
May 11, 2008, 10:18:00 PM  

Joe Morgan, as a foul ball curves into the stands, in re: catching a foul ball in the stands with your bare hand vs. a glove:

"Let's see if we can get a bare hand job right here."

10:17 pm

danny macintosh said...
May 11, 2008, 10:20:00 PM  

dammit. sorry, butterscotch.

danny macintosh said...
May 11, 2008, 10:21:00 PM  

Too funny. Joe's handjob comment was his most fluid all game.

Monty said...
May 11, 2008, 10:22:00 PM  

I love it...we get a doubleheader of Technophobe Joe tonight and it's only the seventh inning.

First, Joe laments that the technology to measure a hitter's reaction time was not available to analyze Barry Bonds during his playing days. So, evidently, the video camera and the stop watch are very recent inventions.

Next, Joe notes his pleasant surprise that pitches of the same speed were hit at the same amount of time from the pitcher's hand to the bat.

Sunday Night Baseball and Technophobe Joe: The Game Within the Game.

Fish said...
May 11, 2008, 10:25:00 PM  

Off-topic, but...
the about page of aa's website misspells announcing... just thought one of you guys may want to edit that ;)

RayBlay said...
May 11, 2008, 10:32:00 PM  

"The possible tying runs are in position." - Jon Miller

Lets break this down:

It's 9-7 after JD Drew's double.

He is on 2nd, another man on 3rd.

Wouldn't a home run give them...the lead?

ssreporters said...
May 11, 2008, 11:11:00 PM  

How about Joe talking about the Crisp play where JD Drew got nailed at 3rd: "How do you score that?? Because it can be scored different ways." Wrong, Joe -- there's only one way to score it, which was the way it was, FC RBI for Crisp. Not a single RBI -- and you obviously thought it could be scored that way. Wouldn't official scoring be one of the first chapters in "Baseball for Dummies"???

Anonymous said...
May 11, 2008, 11:21:00 PM  

ssreporters, have you ever watched a baseball game? I didn't watch tonight's game but I'm sure Miller said "scoring position" which is 2nd and 3rd. Two runners in scoring position = tying runs in a 9-7 game.

Some of you guys really reach to pick on the announcers...

Jay said...
May 12, 2008, 12:00:00 AM  

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