On Second Thought

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Well TK and the gang were back in the booth for a second time last night. And I'm taking back every good word I said about them after the opener.

They were covering the Cowboys and the Saints, which are two teams you would have thought could give the MNF Team something to talk about. The entire program was contrived, not funny, and a waste of my time basically. I hadn't mentioned Tony's asking of Theismann about the Silent Count last week, but he did it again this week. Part of the way through the first quarter Joe was commenting on the two tight end set that the Cowboys were using with Witten and Fasano. Well Tony throws out this....

"So does two tight ends give them better blocking to help the QB, or does it give them a second passing option"- TK

Well Joe responded the only way that you could....."Ummm, Tony......well it can do both. Depending on the play."- JT

How does anyone who has been covering sports for this long not understand that. And if it's ESPN making him ask those questions than that's just retarded. I'm pretty sure, if hard-pressed, my mom could figure out what a "Silent Count" was.

Also, I've come to a realization. Tony Kornheiser is not funny without Wilbon. He had two of the worst jokes that I've ever heard (yes, even worse than Dennis Miller).

1) "It's 5,000 Degrees out here......It's Indonesia Hot!"- TK
Umm....what? When did Dennis Miller get back in the booth? And is Indonesia really that hot? I just looked up Indonesia on weather.com and the 10 Day Average High is 91. In Shreveport, Louisiana (where yesterdays game was) today it's going to be 96.

2) After a Cowboys TD pass Bledsoe is on the phone to the booth. TK throws this gem out there, "Oh he's talking to the Coordinator? I thought he was ordering a pizza."- TK
First, I think Madden's made that joke about 8,000 times. Second, it has never been funny.


Well TK wasn't the only one who was bad last night. Our old friend Joseph Theismann was at the top of his game. Highlighted by an unnecessary roughness call. Rob Ninkovich, a defensive lineman for the Saints, clearly threw Julius Jones to the ground after the whistle. Joe chimes right in before the replay......

"It had to be after the tackle."- JT
No shit Joe? Really? Thanks for that insight.

Mikey Tirico even got into it with Tony which was also pretty funny. Tony apparently doesn't pay attention during games.....

"His twin brother is a Raider"- MT
"Really he has a twin brother?"- TK
"Yes, we talked about it last week when we had the Raiders"- MT


Even Ron Jaworski and Chris Berman got into the crappyness at halftime.

"Steve McNair was Smoooooookin"- RJ, describing Steve McNair's performance this past week in his best Jim Carey impression. That's it Jaws.....use a reference from 1994.

And my personal favorite of the night.....he never lets me/us down......

"Nooooo, it couldn't be five for five........Five for Fighting."- CB, leading into the Yanks/Sox highlights. What? I swear Chris Berman just does a stream of conscious thing. He just says whatever is in his mind. Let's try it.

Johnny Drama, potatoes, Lemon-Lime, My Space, Communist Russia, 3rd Rock from the Sun.

See that worked out just fine. In fact I might write my whole blog like that. Anyways.......I've turned on this MNF lineup. I just don't see it working out. Joe Theisman isn't clever enough to keep of with Kornheiser, and Tony isn't good enough without the conflict (and Mike Tirico is asleep the whole time).

Posted by Awful Announcing- at 10:18 AM


Well at least my Cowboys won.

Mini Me said...
Aug 22, 2006, 1:41:00 PM  

tony will find you...unless you stay in virginia.

Aug 22, 2006, 1:48:00 PM  

Kornheiser is a disaster. He has a small army of devoted geeks who used to listen to his radio show, and that's about it. What ESPN thought he could possibly bring to a football telecast is, and will apparently remain, an eternal mystery.

JerkStore said...
Aug 22, 2006, 1:59:00 PM  

I'm just glad you didn't cover the ESPN fantasy draft special. That was sixty minutes of Bermanism disasters which I certainly wouldn't have watched if I hadn't been stuck on the couch with fever sweat...

Alex said...
Aug 22, 2006, 2:37:00 PM  

Ummm...you might have spoke too soon Alex.

AwfulAnnouncing said...
Aug 22, 2006, 2:44:00 PM  

I believe when TK asks about silent counts and two tight end sets and such he does so to elicit information for the casual viewer at home, not because he does not know the answers.

His faux naif thing is a technique, and a pretty good one, actually.

Anonymous said...
Aug 22, 2006, 2:51:00 PM  

ESPN is dead set on making MNF a complete and utter joke. People can blame Kornheiser if they want, but he's not the problem. He's got NOTHING to work with.

I say we just get rid of color guys period. There isn't one that adds anything.

And yes, they are dumbing down the boradcast. It's just brutal... Kornheiser's going to walk out in the middle of a game around Week 10 and it will be one of the greatest moments in TV history. He's just going to say 'Eff it' and leave. I can't wait.

Otter said...
Aug 22, 2006, 2:52:00 PM  

I've never been so disappointed in TK then I am now. After reading one of my favorite toilet books of all time, I'm Back for More Cash: A Tony Kornheiser Collection (Because You Can't Take Two Hundred Newspapers into the Bathroom), which I may add is a great read and also DVR'ing PTI on a daily basis, Tony has let me down. He sits in the middle of the booth, his shoulder slumped over as he slouches down in the chair, looking like the bad kid in timeout. On top of that TK looks as nervous as the new kid on the block trying to make friends. His comments are as cue'd as they get and they don't spark interest in either JT or MT. Come on TK, where you at?

Aug 22, 2006, 3:32:00 PM  

Yeah I was afraid of that... (but I'm sure you'll make good mockery of it.)

Alex said...
Aug 22, 2006, 4:24:00 PM  

The fantasy draft special was awful, I mean Jaws took Reggie Bush with the 8th pick. It was sad when Suzy "I'm taking Brett Favre in the second round" Kolber had the best draft.

Anyway, I just can't wait for TOny to just go "Fuck it, I'm too punk rock for this shit" backhand Theisman and walk out. He lives off of conflict and Theisman is too retarded to provide it and I think Tirico guzzles vicodin before telecasts.

FuckingBrian said...
Aug 22, 2006, 4:39:00 PM  

Thanks Anonymous....would you like to be my editor full time?

AwfulAnnouncing said...
Aug 22, 2006, 8:54:00 PM  

I can't stand TK or JT either, but if you're going to rip JT, can you at least spell his name correctly? ... Theismann ... yes, as in Heisman, though he finished second in the 1970 voting (to Stanford's Jim Plunkett, not Plunket) Theismann has one more 'n' in his name.

myron_pottios said...
Aug 23, 2006, 8:36:00 PM  

So it is. Thanks for the proofread.

AwfulAnnouncing said...
Aug 23, 2006, 8:52:00 PM  

My favorite line of the night by Theismann:

"Sean Payton is going for it here on 4th down because he is trying to build a winning tradition here in New Orleans."

What? I mean seriously, WHAT?! Get Joe off the air!!!

twins15 said...
Aug 23, 2006, 9:01:00 PM  

Kolber sucks too, and I'm not 100% sure that's how you spell her name, but she doesn't deserve to have it spelled right anyway. I think they should replace Theisman with Wilbon and see what happens. It can't really get much worse than it already is. I just can't say anything negative about Kornheiser with Theisman in the booth. Why don't people write negative reviews about Theisman? Are we just immune to his dreadfulness after all these years? Theisman was the worst announcer even when those two morons were with him for the Sunday night games last year (or were there three of them? I can't even remember). There should also never be any more than 2 Washington guys in any type of broadcast ever. Washington has 2 Sports Radio Stations that talk about the Redskins about 364 days a year just about all day and no Jim Rome show. If they aren't talking about the Skins the're talking about U of Maryland Basketball. And the John Thompson show is painful! Its like listening to Isaac Hayes on bartbituates and there's some guy named Smokin Al Cokin who just sucks and kisses Thompson's ass! Just because you're a local hall of fame college basketball coach who had no media saavy at all does not mean you should just be given your own radio show. Nobody should have given these guys their own radio show! People around here must actually be stupid enough to listen to it! Washington DC sports coverage sucks. You can have Kornheiser, Theisman, Wilbon and the crappy Redskins. The Washington Post sucks. Joe Gibbs sounds like a pipsqueak. Give the Nationals back to the French. Make the world a better place, punch Suzy Colber in the face.

brirud said...
Aug 28, 2006, 7:44:00 PM  

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