"Matt Leinhart, eat your heart out."

I'm going to go out on a limb here and guess that those two Jewish gentlemen are not Utah fans.

There are at least two people in attendance who don't believe Mark Sanchez is the second coming.

I will not have sexual relations with this woman!

My grandmother will probably have a heart attack when she sees how hot my girlfriend is.

No, this is not Brooklyn Decker. Calm down, Roddick!!!

I am summoning Nickelback because I will get every playboy bunny with her bleached blonde hair.

Who is the idiot who keeps making comments on awfulannouncing?

*Mark Sanchez whispers something in the girl's ear*

Girl: Oh Mark, you're such a filthy Sanchez!

No, I love YOU, Colin Cowherd!

Oye vei, look at this shiksa with this schmuck. I'd like to shpilkes in her geneckteckessoink!

Answer: Jews, Boobs, and Hilarity Ensues.

Question: Name two things you see, two things you want to see, and two words that describe Mark Sanchez's pro career.

Sanchez (thinking): "Only three more days and I don't have to worry about Shelley Smith stalking my SoCal apartment ever again."

There's 19,000 seats in here and these guys had to sit behind me?

I hope my agent and lawyer don;t mind me blocking their view.

I see 4.9 isn't just your forty time...

How does Tony do this? JUST SHUT UP!

"Mazal tov, Mark. Mazal tov..."

Mark Sanchez thinking about his path towards becoming Matt Leinart:
1)Show up to high-profile events: check
2)Become friends with attractive women: check
3)Get drafted highly in the NFL draft: pending
4)Fail to live up to expectations: .......

I'm trying to see if I can grow my head to be larger than Pudge's, pass me more HGH honey, and then blow me. Your Dad's a dentist, so what.

"Mark, your hand is sooooooooooooooo cold!"

obviously, she's more interested in her texting cup than in mark

Remember how pissed off Brady Quinn's girlfriend was as he slid down the draft board a few years ago? That's nothing compared to what I'll do to you if you fall out of the top 10.

Thank God Jack Nicholson went to go get another beer - now I can finally have this chick's focus on me! I am after all a USC quarterback - his best movie was made 10 years before I was even born...

Girl:
"Whoa! Your Sanchez is really small!"

Wow, I never realized how much I look like Judd from "The Real World: San Francisco."

Blonde: "Marky, what's this fizzy thing in my beer?"

Sanchez: "That? That's a, umm... that's a Sweet Tart."

Blonde: "Mmm, Sweet Tart!"

Mark Sanchez saying to himself

Self - this is how I live the Matt Leinhart life. Play ok in college and start banging random hot blonde bitches

Mark: Hey, look! I just got drafted by the Lions!

Chick: Congratulations- oh, hey, look at the time! Gotta go.

The Chick to Sanchez:

"Who are going to end up playing WHERE?"

Failing to get a scoop from the man in front of him, TMZ's Harvey Levin tries to ask the stranger next to him for some Mark Sanchez dirt on his Web site.

Straight out of "The Dark Knight":

Girl: Can't we go someplace quieter? We can't hear each other talk.

Mark Sanchez: What makes you think I want to hear you talk?

Blonde: Yeah, so I just had sex with this fat guy named Magic in the bathroom,and he said I have fake HIV too? What did he mean?