It's Time, Michelle

Saturday, June 30, 2007

(posted by OMDQ)

Time to pull a Ricky Williams, take whatever is left of your golf winnings, and head off on a sabbatical. It doesn't matter where you go, how long you're gone or what you do while you're there, as long as you strictly adhere to these three rules:

1) Relax
2) Do NOT pick up a golf club
3) Do NOT tell your parents, agents, coaches, sponsor representatives, or anyone else who has had a say in your career to this point where you are

Go. Be young. Have fun. Drink Pepsi. Sleep till noon. Stay in your pajamas all day. Hang out with friends. Meet people. Find a boyfriend. Act like a high school student. Realize that there are more important things in life than golf. Get yourself "right" mentally.

Then, when the time is right, you may return - an older, wiser version of your 17-year-old self - ready at last to dominate golf, just like we always knew you would.

Or you can stay on your current path and risk becoming a completely irrelevant joke by the time you're 21. Your call.

(HT goes to AA and Sons of Sam Malone for the news of Wie's withdrawal from the U.S. Open)

Posted by One More Dying Quail at 2:19 PM


Go to a happy place, Michelle. And when you stand behind your next putt, just taaaaaap it in!

Kevin Hayward said...
Jun 30, 2007, 4:16:00 PM  

No story on this one yet:

Evan said...
Jun 30, 2007, 7:26:00 PM  

Two words come to mind here... Jennifer Capriati. I can see her heading down the same road if she doesn't get her shit together.

Bruce said...
Jul 1, 2007, 1:10:00 AM  

AS far as Wie is concerned, I can't help but feel a bit of shadenfreud (or however you spell that gee-dee German word).

In general, when people keep doing things they have to know is wrong (i.e. the battered wife syndrome, or criminal behavior, or fill-in-the-blank) they should be punished, humiliated, discraced, etc.

How else will they learn?

Dummy said...
Jul 2, 2007, 1:53:00 AM  

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