Create The Caption #327

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

(Usually) Everyday I'll throw out a photo, you provide the caption, and then hilarity ensues. I'm also adding a handful of links at the bottom of the page that you should check out each day.

Yesterday's Winners....

"So, should we go with an ambulance this time? Maybe a Medevac helicopter? Oh, how about the National Guard!"- Nick

- MarkMc

"KG: Don't worry, Paul, I won't let Jeff Gilooly get away with this!"- G Money

"Shortly after this photo was taken, Ed Werder reported in a "breaking story" on ESPN that Kevin Garnett met privately with Ray Allen to discuss why Paul Pierce doesn't include him in his efforts to be admired and loved in Boston."- Anon

"Kevin, could you get the counselor from "Summer Heights High" away from me?"- Steve

Pedophile Pete!

Are you funny enough to create a caption for this photo of Sam Bradford preparing to ring the New York Stock Exchange opening bell yesterday?

Daily Links:

The Bucs Want The Lions To Win (Flint Journal)
It's Good To Be Cowher Right About Now (LOCG)
Red Sox Robber Sports New Logo (Red Sox Monster)
A Michael Phelps Video Game? Kill Me. (Rumors and Rants)
Spin O Rama! (Sox and Dawgs)
Arm Punting (Simon On Sports)
Yanks Want Manny (Wicked Good Sports)
New RCS Power Rankings (Real Clear Sports)
Teixeira Will Sign....Somewhere. (The Sporting Blog)

Posted by Awful Announcing at 1:05 PM


Hey Sam, check out my Heisman pose!

Rex said...
Dec 17, 2008, 1:07:00 PM  

So Sam, want to see all the bailout money?

Anonymous said...
Dec 17, 2008, 1:08:00 PM  

Sam, do you know how to run a Ponzi scheme?

49er16 said...
Dec 17, 2008, 1:08:00 PM  

Billy Sims in the background: "Boomer, boomer, boomer, boomer, boomer, boomer, boomer, boomer, boomer, boomer, boomer"

49er16 said...
Dec 17, 2008, 1:10:00 PM  

Minutes after ringing the opening bell to the NYSE, Sam Bradford watched his stock in the NFL draft drop 10 spots....

Rex said...
Dec 17, 2008, 1:15:00 PM  

Sam Bradford looks on in amazement at how his statue his now the tallest building in NYC. Oh wait, that statue is only in the minds of the Heisman voters and the voters in the BCS system. Never mind.

JFein said...
Dec 17, 2008, 1:17:00 PM  

Gee Sam, we're really sorry about all these "Welcome, Tim" signs... we were kinda expecting someone else...

Rex said...
Dec 17, 2008, 1:18:00 PM  

And over here we have the listing of the car lot Oklahoma football players "work" at...

MarkMc said...
Dec 17, 2008, 1:23:00 PM  

Dude in glasses: "Now he's at Auburn, Gene Chizik nickels are guaranteed to go up in value."
Bradford: "Sounds good. Who else have you advised in the past?"
Dude in glasses: "All your favorites: Derrick Coleman, Wyclef Jean, Mike Tyson..."

Dec 17, 2008, 1:27:00 PM  

Sam, everyone here believes that you should stop cutting your own hair.

GMoney said...
Dec 17, 2008, 1:30:00 PM  

Tim Tebow prepares to ring the bell at the NYSE (photo credit: Fox Sports)

dwhit said...
Dec 17, 2008, 1:34:00 PM  

The next stage of the bailout plan, the US government will invest Sam Bradford in the Detroit Lions

Ted said...
Dec 17, 2008, 1:41:00 PM  

I get it, so this place is like about money and stuff?

Wade Robertson said...
Dec 17, 2008, 1:47:00 PM  

We have our bananas over here in case you're hungry, we have our trees you can climb over there and our statue of Bill Walton over there. Would you like some Samsonite luggage to throw around? I was a huge fan of Land of the Lost, by the way...

hollywood wags said...
Dec 17, 2008, 1:56:00 PM  

"Let's start the bidding at $10. Can I get $10 for this fine young man? No? How about $5? ... Come on! He WON the Heisman..."

foos said...
Dec 17, 2008, 1:58:00 PM  

And if you look over there to your right you'll see Danny Wuerffel, Eric Crouch, and Jason White begging for scraps...

Anonymous said...
Dec 17, 2008, 2:00:00 PM  

Actually we don't care you won the Heisman. We actually wanted to thank you for beating Oklahoma State again. T. Boone is such an easy mark when the Cowboys lose, so thanks again.

Anonymous said...
Dec 17, 2008, 2:01:00 PM  

Listen, young man. Investing has been so bad this year that we're trying something else. If you could lose to Florida by three TD's, I can make it worth your while.

Jay said...
Dec 17, 2008, 2:08:00 PM  

Bradford: "So Mortimer and Randolph, where is Billy Ray and Louis Winthorpe III?"

49er16 said...
Dec 17, 2008, 2:12:00 PM  

This makes it official, The Lions are on the clock.

Kid A said...
Dec 17, 2008, 2:19:00 PM  

I have one just like it home. It does say 'OJ Simpson' on it, though.

Anonymous said...
Dec 17, 2008, 2:21:00 PM  

If you stare hard enough the stocks might go up.

money mike said...
Dec 17, 2008, 2:21:00 PM  

glasses: i got twentytwentytwentytwenty 25! twentyfive going once twice sold!

sb:listen sir, i appreciate the offer, but auctioning me off to Detroit instead of giving them $25 billion just doesn't seem fair to anybody. and by anybody, i mean me.

Mike said...
Dec 17, 2008, 2:28:00 PM  

As you can see Sam, the price per barrel of discarded foreskins has gone through the roof following Tim Tebow's mission trip to Africa. It's really a hot commodity right now. It's probably the best place to invest the money you made at Big Red Sports and Imports this summer.

-Zack said...
Dec 17, 2008, 2:38:00 PM  

"Dude, why does that guy with the mustache keep asking me about frozen concentrated orange juice?"

-Sam Bradford

Birdman said...
Dec 17, 2008, 2:45:00 PM  


Tyler said...
Dec 17, 2008, 2:47:00 PM  

Bradford: Can you believe that d-bag, The Big Lead, posted a picture of my girlfriend on his website?

tk said...
Dec 17, 2008, 3:08:00 PM  

Yes, Sam, a lot has changed since your tribe was pillaged and forced to modernize. This probably looks like the old casinos that you had back in Oklahoma, eh, Chief?

Anonymous said...
Dec 17, 2008, 3:33:00 PM  

In this case BCS stands for Bitchy Crotchety Stockbrokers

Anonymous said...
Dec 17, 2008, 3:34:00 PM  

And over here on your right are all the women who now want your d*ck.

Sal said...
Dec 17, 2008, 3:35:00 PM  

Sam: "Tim, your brother is not well. We better call an ambulance."

Tim Tebow: "Fuck him! Now, you listen to me! I want voting reopened right now. Get those voters back in here! Turn those machines back on!"

Anonymous said...
Dec 17, 2008, 4:00:00 PM  

And over here, Mr. Bradford, is your rites of patches.

Anonymous said...
Dec 17, 2008, 5:14:00 PM  

Out of frame: angry Texas fan yelling "You're a HACK, Bradford!"

Adam said...
Dec 17, 2008, 5:16:00 PM  

Police confirmed that Nick Jonas was indeed the thief of the missing Heisman trophy when he was apprehended with college football's illustrious prize at the New York Stock Exchange Tuesday.

Dennis said...
Dec 17, 2008, 5:34:00 PM  

Sam Bradford brought his trophy to the NYSE Tuesday to see if he could exchange it for any stocks. In other news, Sam Bradford is now the majority shareholder of General Motors.

Dennis said...
Dec 17, 2008, 5:36:00 PM  

At another location, Graham Harrell was giving a speech to the "Christmas Sweaters Wearer of America"

I Worship Erin Andrews said...
Dec 17, 2008, 5:45:00 PM  

See that, Sam? That's the stock market falling at the exact same rate as DeMarco Murray's draft stock.

Devon Edwards said...
Dec 17, 2008, 5:48:00 PM  

Bradford: "Who threw that shoe?!?!"
On Left: "That guy right there!"

Steven said...
Dec 17, 2008, 7:22:00 PM  

Sheee-oot, whenever I rang a bell at a market in Oklahoma, Ol' Cooter comes out and fills my gas tank!

Anonymous said...
Dec 17, 2008, 8:40:00 PM  

Bradford: This ain't no market, there ain't Kools or lottery tickets or nothin!

Anonymous said...
Dec 17, 2008, 8:41:00 PM  

Old guy: And this, young man, is what you learned all about in Economics class.

Bradford: Class?

Anonymous said...
Dec 17, 2008, 8:43:00 PM  

Old guy: And if you look by the main entrance, you'll see Gino Torreta, delivering a pizza.

Anonymous said...
Dec 17, 2008, 8:44:00 PM  

And over there is where all your future earnings will be lost as our economy spirals further and further down the toilet.

scripty said...
Dec 17, 2008, 8:51:00 PM  

"Don't leave me hangin', Bradford".

Mal said...
Dec 17, 2008, 10:06:00 PM  

"Sam, the SEC we have here is different than the one that dominates in the BCS championship games".

Mal said...
Dec 17, 2008, 10:09:00 PM  

"I throw da ball! I win da twofy! I wing da bell!"

Anonymous said...
Dec 17, 2008, 10:23:00 PM  

In a move that surprised no one, ESPN's College Gameday crew immediately criticized the New York Stock Exchange for not inviting Tim Tebow, even though he did NOT win the Heisman.

Anonymous said...
Dec 17, 2008, 10:48:00 PM  

To prove they can buy anything that they want, the New York Yankees have decided to sign Sam Bradford to $100 million contract to ring the bell every day at the New York Stock Exchange for the next 8 years.

Anonymous said...
Dec 17, 2008, 10:50:00 PM  

Sam Bradford and the two NYSE reps watch intently as their over/under bet about the stock market falling 100 points in the first 30 seconds of trading is decided.

Anonymous said...
Dec 17, 2008, 10:53:00 PM  

Shortly after ringing the opening bell at the New York Stock Exchange, Sam Bradford is named the new head of the U.S. Treasury Department by President-Elect Barack Obama. In response to Bradford's thin qualifications, President-Elect Obama said "Well, he can't do much worse than the losers in there now."

Anonymous said...
Dec 17, 2008, 10:55:00 PM  

Bradford told the guys that just wait til the end of the day, thats when I'll run up the final point total for the day

Anonymous said...
Dec 17, 2008, 10:59:00 PM  

Leftman:You see our numbers going up, up, up
Bradford: All I see are your numbers going nowhere like Oklahoma will do against Florida at the 2009 FedEX BCS National Championship Game on FOX. Come watch it in 3-D at the Park Slope Pavillion 9 in Brooklyn on January 8, 2009.
Rightman: I'll take you up on that offer Sam.

InterPlace55 said...
Dec 18, 2008, 12:28:00 AM  

So just like you stole the National Championship game from Texas, we steal billions of dollars from people right over there!

Anonymous said...
Dec 18, 2008, 12:45:00 AM  

I just want to make it snow

Anonymous said...
Dec 18, 2008, 2:50:00 AM  

"Gentlemen... start your engines!"
"Uh... Mr. Bradford..."

j.a.j.b. said...
Dec 18, 2008, 4:56:00 AM  

Yes, Sam, it is like magic. When you sign your NFL contract, you give the money to these guys, "MAGIC" and then you get more!

Anonymous said...
Dec 18, 2008, 8:41:00 AM  

Believe it or not, this place used to make people money!

Anonymous said...
Dec 18, 2008, 8:42:00 AM  

"Sam, see that over there...the crapper? That is where you can find the NFL careers of everyone else that received this trophy before you. Good luck with that."

swany11 said...
Dec 18, 2008, 9:01:00 AM  

Sam, we've been trying to make Billy Sims shut up all morning but he said that he won't stop until you say "Sooner"

Craig said...
Dec 18, 2008, 9:08:00 AM  

Wait, can you explain it to me like I'm five?

Okay, let's say you want to open a lemonade stand this summer. Your mommy and daddy give you ten dollars to buy cups, lemons, and supplies. But it only costs you niine dollars. So, you want to spend that last dollar so that next summer....

I'll be six

Anonymous said...
Dec 18, 2008, 11:04:00 AM  

Bradford, "I'm flattered that the Dow Jones Industrial Average is honoring me by matching the amount of passing yards I threw this season."

Anonymous said...
Dec 18, 2008, 11:47:00 AM  

ESPN caption:

Tim Tebow rings the bell at the New York Stock Exchange."

Anonymous said...
Dec 18, 2008, 11:56:00 AM  

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