Oh, you know that HAD to start in Seattle. There has never been a lamer sports city on the planet, and the red card comes directly from their USL soccer franchise, the Sounders.

Tips for Mariners fans when presented with the red card: I don't care how many times you've seen England, head-butting the attendant upon being shown the red card a la Wayne Rooney, while righteous, is not acceptable.

Up yours got map! I've been in Seattle for 2 1/2 years and it's a great sports city, although I think the red card thing is pure $$%#%, Seattle is a great city. Oh, and the Sounders are the equivalent of the high school soccer team down the street where I live.

Anyway, the red card thing does show that the coffee can affect people's thinking.

Wow, 2.5 years?? I think I have gear that old on my wall.

Traffic's impossible up there, the Sonics haven't won since Gus Johnson and Jack Sikma, the Mariners are a ripoff since Edgar retired, and the Seahawks suck so bad, the league forces other markets to watch them even if a better matchup is playing.

How's U-Doob football working out for you?

Red card Ryan Langerhans, please. In fact, just shoot him like you do injured horses.

God forbid Lindsay Lohan should ever want to see a baseball game. Violating every single one of those rules is something she likes to call "Tuesday night."

OK let's review,

the Seahawks just made the super bowl (and got ripped off), and then proceeded to almost upset Chicago and Gross Wrecksman, the M's have improved from the last 2 years, the Sonics, well, I agree with you there, but Gus Johnson never played for the Sonics. U'dub football is a work in progress, I mean we were one game away from going to a bowl game.

Tell me what city you live in then.

That list of rules truly makes me want to vomit, preferrably all over someone seated in front of me

They didn't explicitly say you can't do that, TSH. I think you're good.

If this is true, this could be the last fuckign straw for baseball. The best part of going to games is getting obliterated and swearing loudly in front of families. Baseball is turning into a dainty sport. Babe Ruth and Ty Cobb are rolling over in their graves.

I lived in Portland, which by now, should surprise you not at all.

Used to frustrate me no end living in "Seattle's football and baseball market." It was even worse having to go up there for the NCAAs; in just two short years, however, that will no longer be a problem.

That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard.

My friends and I flew out to see the Red Sox play the Mariners a few years back. The fans were generally OK, but they new nothing about the game. After the Sox opened up a big lead during one of the games, the "seating host" came over to us and asked us to quiet down. I guess in Seattle, if you don't cheer for the Mariners, fans ask the "seating host" to quiet you down. It was a complete joke!

So after a while, the stadium emptied out. So we though we'd sit a little closer to the field. Again a no-no in Seattle. The "seating host" came over and told us to leave.

They have a great stadium, but whoever directs this group needs to understand some things about crowds. Didn't know Safeco was a Gestapo stadium. If you want to see a game there, don't wear opposing hats or shirts...you'll be singled out by the fans and told to shut it.

The O's actually already do this but their cards are yellow.

You live in Portland and have the nerve to mock Seattle sports teams? Wow, that takes balls.

To compare the Sonics to the Jailblazers would be like comparing Apples to Battery-Acid-Enemas. When was the last time Portland did anything in the NBA? Oh I remember, blowing it in Game 7 vs the Lakers.

And your football team...oh wait...and your baseball team...oh wait...and your college team...oh wait.

Get real man. Better yet, move to a real sports city. Poor Greg Oden will probably get mugged by a gang of your 8,000,000 homeless kids and demand a trade as soon as he gets into town. Paul Allen can pour as much money into the Trailblazers as he wants, but they haven't been anything since Clyde Drexler left, and they weren't even much then.

But hey, at least down the road you can go root for the Oregon Ducks.

I can't even acknowledge a guy from Portland talking smack about sports. As for Boston fans in the West we have something called manners. I'm sure you were being complete jackweeds when you were told to can it. The red card thing is kind of weak..and especially moving to better seats half way through a game.

Fervent fanaticism doesn't make people knowledgeable about sports. Are the Safeco Field rules stupid? Maybe. But appreciate the differences. Safeco is the just the karmic balance for Yankee Stadium. As a parent, I doubt I'd take my 9 year old to Yankee Stadium or Fenway unless I wanted him to repeat the F-word at school the next day. All the same, I loved watching a game sitting near Pesky's pole and bought a fitted New Era on my way to the park. Sit back and enjoy the differences. If you're in Safeco, throwback Espressos instead of suds and see if you can induce a light-headed induces by caffeine overdose. Oh, and Portland does have the best Cyclocross scene in the US. Every town has its own thing.

Let's put that into perspective then fatrunner. If you were to take your son to any sporting event, he's going to hear the f-word. So you're trapped.

You're a little late on this one. I know the Packers have used this policy for a couple of years in the NFL. Old news...yawn.

Wow Yankee Hater, I am amazed at your ability to know what went on with "Scott." You have "manners" in the West? Lol, please. Seattle is the worst sports city in the country. You, like Seattle, are weak.

Seattle the worst sports city in the country? I've heard that phrase used to describe Atlanta and Miami, but never Seattle.