I'm Still Scared Of Colorado

Sunday, June 10, 2007

In January, I wrote something at One More Dying Quail about the general insanity that is the state of Colorado. I gave examples and everything. Two fellow bloggers (Signal to Noise and Run Up The Score) who each spent a substantial amount of time in the state agreed with the basic premise, with RUTS providing the perfect quote: "There's definitely something wrong with these people."

About five weeks after that post, Broncos running back Damien Nash collapsed and died after a charity event in St. Louis. In April, it was announced that Coby Karl, son of Nuggets coach George Karl, had cancerous lymph nodes that would require removal (his thyroid was removed last year after cancer was diagnosed) and radiation treatment. And now, more bad stuff is happening to people associated with the Centennial State.

On Saturday, Denver Nuggets guard J.R. Smith was thrown from his SUV after he ran a stop sign and was hit by another vehicle. The accident took place in New Jersey, Smith's home state. He and a passenger were both seriously injured.

Earlier, in the wee hours of Saturday morning, Smith's teammate DerMarr Johnson was tased (best line: "Police said they used a taser to calm the 6-foot-9 player." How "calming" are tasers, really? Are they better than candles and a nice bubble bath? Wouldn't "subdue" have been a better word there?) and arrested outside a nightclub. He was charged with resisting arrest and interfering with police. His lawyer suggested that he was attempting to break up a fight between two women (who were also arrested).

Somebody needs to take a page out of Every Day Should Be Saturday's book and come up with a tracking system for stuff like this. We need to know if Colorado-based teams really have more bad luck than anyplace else, or if some other crazy place is flying under the radar.

Posted by One More Dying Quail at 5:00 PM


You forgot:

1) the backup punter at the U. of Northern Colorado stabbing the starter.
2) The C-State baller who shot at his teammate.

Phony Gwynn explained it this way: "fantastic kind bud, fantastic microbrews, not much else to do."

Signal to Noise said...
Jun 10, 2007, 6:54:00 PM  

Don't forget that toddler who needed stitches for this

mookie said...
Jun 10, 2007, 7:36:00 PM  

The C-State female ballers who blew shit up outside a team mates apt and got suspended from the team.

Steve said...
Jun 10, 2007, 8:19:00 PM  

here's a link to the female hoopsters/explosion technicians


Steve said...
Jun 10, 2007, 8:26:00 PM  

The bomb thing was actually the reason I wrote the first post at OMDQ. For whatever reason, I read about it and realized that a lot of stuff happens in Colorado.

S2N, I don't think I ever heard about the "shooting at his teammate" thing - when did this happen?

Jun 10, 2007, 8:45:00 PM  

Happened in late April. Here's a Denver Post article on it.

Signal to Noise said...
Jun 10, 2007, 9:21:00 PM  

The conspiracy goes deeper than you realize, OMDQ. I was born in Colorado, and met my wife there.

It's the thin air. You can't think when your brain isn't getting enough oxygen.

extrapolater said...
Jun 10, 2007, 11:23:00 PM  

Larry over at Viva El Birdos lives in Colorado. Maybe he can shed some light on the subject...

Bruce said...
Jun 11, 2007, 12:13:00 AM  

I haven't experienced a clear thought since I moved to Vail three years ago. Thank you, Blueberry Yum-Yums.

People drink waaaaayyy too much Rumplemintz as well.

the butler said...
Jun 11, 2007, 1:16:00 PM  

How did I miss this post?

Don't forget the Father Of The Year who let his toddler loose at the CSU spring game, resulting in the kid getting fucking crumpled by a receiver. My God, I can't watch that enough.

Anyway, yes. People here SHOULD be happy. It's always sunny. Mountains are pretty. Drugs and tequilla are plentiful. Everyone has a dog or three. Strange, though...there's a certain fakeness to the happiness, and the suppression just boils over at times.

Not that anyone asked, but I hate Boulder. Nobody smokes, everyone is thin, the streets are clean, people are educated, and it's one of the worst places I've been.

Jun 11, 2007, 7:35:00 PM  

Personaly i think i speak for Colorado when i say that it fuckin rocks here and we wouldnt live anywhere else. If you dont like us or our state than stay out its that simple

Anonymous said...
Nov 2, 2008, 12:53:00 AM  

Post a Comment