Money..Money...Money..Yeah...Yeah

Hey good looking, I'll be back after the game

I'm LeBron James, World Icon. I'm LeBron James, World Icon. I'm LeBron James, World Icon...

that first story makes no sense. the iron bowl this year was on cbs, not espn

LeBron: "Did I go too far suggesting McDonalds design our throwbacks?"

I hope you girls don't mind my cropdusting.

In an effort to save money for the re-signing of Lebron, the Cleveland management team decides to change the dance team's dress code to relaxed-casual.

"Did her...did her...no way...dirty...did her...did her...not even with Big Z's dick..."

"Where'd I put my Yankee hat?"

would...would...would...would...did? I think?...would...

Start spreading the news, I'm leaving in...two years. I want to be a part of it, NEW YORK, NEW YORK!

Donnie Walsh: Quick, they are about to introduce him. Send down 40 virgins!!

In a drastic roster move to save cap room for 2010, the Cleveland Cavs replace all but Lebron with the Houston Comets.

Where all the white women at?

Oh, pardon me, didn't see you there.

LeBron is fulfilling his lifelong dream of becoming a Washington Redskin.

Hey, there's my Mr. Microphone! I've been lookin all over for that! I'll be back to pick you up later!

From the looks of things, LeBron deserves a break today.

The point is, ladies and gentleman, that greed -- for lack of a better word -- is good.

Greed is right.

Greed works.

Greed clarifies, cuts through, and captures the essence of the evolutionary spirit.

Greed, in all of its forms -- greed for life, for money, for love, knowledge -- has marked the upward surge of mankind.

And greed -- you mark my words -- will not only save Lebron James, but that other malfunctioning corporation called the NBA.

"Well, I'm not a metereologist but it's raining bitches."

I'll be glad to get out of Cleveland and leave all these plain midwestern ho's behind.

and after this -- LeTurd did that thing where he copies Jordan with the hand dust....zzzzzzzzzzzzzz!
can ANYONE tell me why they put that on tv EVERY time?

Cleveland saves cap space by letting McDonald's design its sweatsuits, replacing its cheerleaders with twenty-nothings, and changing the pump-up music to Mambo No. 5.

In an effort to ease their fans transition into seeing LeBron in another team's jersey in 2010, the Cavs will play every remaining game this year in a different team's uniform. Tonight, the '82 Atlanta Hawks!

good luck..please stay.. good luck.. please stay. good luck. please stay.. please stay.. call me

LeBron James. Rush Chairman. Damn glad to meet you.

"And now, the starting lineup for your 2010 New York Knicks!"

"sloppy seconds, sloppy thirds, sloppy fourths, sloppy fifths, ..."

I'd do her, do her, wouldn't do her, ew, who hasn't done her, and do her."

Did you know that a cavalier is a master with the long sword if you know what I mean

Lebron: "I'm so excited. I'M SO EXCITED. I'm so....so scared."

Girl that King James is high-fiving: "I thought AA prohibited movie quotes from being used?"

Lebron: That's where you're wrong. This is a TV quote!

Dang...in Cleveland I get mediocre looking chicks...at least in NYC I will get Spike Lee!

In an effort to recruit LeBron James, the NY Knicks sent some interns to show what it would be like to play for the sexual harassment organization of the NBA.

Out: Retro uniforms
In: Retro warm ups as modeled by LeBron James in his '86 Rockets pre-game outfit.

Man, I can't WAIT to play for a team with cheerleaders who don't wear jeans and Converse sneakers.

"Alright, Giggidy Giggidy"

"I'm a star, I'm a star, I'm a bright shining star."

Cameraman: I'm licking up dust from this floor and these chicks are wearing jeans? WTF? Where are the short skirts?

Teen nursing home girls found new part time gig...

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/28051548/

Top Three Concerns Going through Lebron's head:

1)How much do you think it costs to take out ad space on the Statue of Liberty's forehead?

2)Dear Jay-Z: Do you like me? Circle Y or N.

3) Am I still allowed to do my powder-throw thing in NYC? Or would they think it's Anthrax?

So long and thanks for all the fish.

Desperate to keep LeBron, Cleveland introduces "King James's Harem."

In a rare show of pregame sportsmanship, after his introduction Lebron shook hands with the entire Knicks team.

LeBronald McDonald forgot to put on his wig and makeup.

I'm LeBron James, BITCH!!!

Starting at forward, standing at 6'2", 40 years old and weighing in at 154 pounds, Bobby Brown!

The Cavs new strategy to resign LeBron James is to have every resident of the state of Ohio greet him prior to all home games this season.

Lebron, shown here heavily dehydrated and delusional in thinking all these women were good looking, was quickly pulled aside and given a large cup of Seminole Firewater

Merry Christmas
Merry Christmas
Merry Christmas
Merry Christmas
Kiss My Ass
Kiss His Ass
Kiss Your Ass
Happy Hanukkah

"Oh my God, Sandra. It's the guy from that Vogue cover!"

"Look at all these chicks trying to touch my wiener...wait, why is Mike Dantoni at the end of the line?"

Fuck you, Fuck you, Fuck you, You're cool, and fuck you! I'm OUT!

Reggie Miller: Like Daniel Gibson, LeBron spots up and gets the titty.

LJ's thoughts: this one's hands are a little low. hmm, I wonder if she'll touch my junk if I run closer.


Minutes later... it was worth a try...

Needing a night off, the Cavs leave their game against the Knicks in the capable hands of a local Junior High girls team playing in jeans.

"One day, this hell hole will be in my rear view mirror"

LeBron Who?... I thought we were going to see the Jonas Brothers! I wore my best Ugg Boats for this!

What every crafty NBA veteran knows... always wear your warm-up pants to the strip club...

Hubie Brown: Judging by the warm up, I'd say LeBron is looking to play for Spain and not New York.

"Please don't let my gun go off. Please don't let my gun go off. Please don't let my gun go off."

Lebron: "I been in Cleveland all this time and I just now figure out what they mean by the Dawg Pound".