Michael Phelps accepts the award for "Most Awkward-Looking Athlete in a Championship Role," from last year's winner Eli Manning.

Eli Manning gets his picture taken next to the cardboard cutout of Michael Phelps on the red carpet.

Phelps: Michael Phelps is UNSTOPPABLE!

Eli: Hey man that's my line!

You get your hair cut at Fantastic Sam's, too? Small world.

its amazing how much less of a douche bag michael phelps looks when he's dressed up and standing next to eli manning.

It was an epic duel, but in the end Michael Phelps wins the ESPY for "Most Frightening Eyebrows" over last year's winner Eli Manning.

Special note of thanks to Madame Tussauds for their assistance in providing wax figures for this event.

Eli: "I thought my wax statue unveiling was a couple weeks ago."

Eli Manning and Michael Phelps BOTH have wax figures???

Michael Phelps is given a tennis trophy to hold while he stands next to Eli Manning for reasons known only to the photographer.

Eli: "Photo bomb, bitch!"

Archie: "That's enough, Eli."

Phelps was named the 2008 recipient of the "That's Preposterous!" award by the Black Comedians Association. Each year the BCA awards the antique vase to a famous caucasian male who best exemplifies the stereotypical white person that is often the butt of every Comic View joke. Phelps is seen with last year's winner, Eli Manning.

"Okay Peyton. Seriously, that's a pretty bad Phelps mask. You can take it off... Oh... You ARE Michael Phelps... Hi, I'm Eli and I'm your biggest fan!"

Reigning champion Eli Manning is all class as he hands the tropy over to the newest Rocky Dennis look-a-like winner.

Eli: Wow, I didn't know I had a third brother.

Phelps: "Thanks man, for letting me hold your Super Bowl Trophy."

Eli: "Whatever dude."

Phelps: "So after this party, are we still on for McDonald's. The play land is suppose to have a ten foot slide."

Eli: "Sweet, I am totally on."

Eli Manning's inner thoughts: "Man, if I have to stand next to weird looking guys like this dope for the rest of my life, I would have prayed for Tyree to drop that ball."

Eli thinking: If Plex were to "accidently" shoot this douche bag, would they give me the award instead

Michael Phelps' inner thoughts: "Man, why couldn't SI have gotten Tiger Woods to stand next to me for this award? If I had known I was going to get this bum, I would have prayed that I lost 2 or 3 of those gold medals."

Shortly after this photo-op, SI announced its first movie project, starring Phelps and Manning, called "Dumber and Dumberer"

Phelps: I am pleased to accept this weird trophy and I would like to thank *squints at cue card* Eli Manning...Eli? We couldn't get Peyton? Really? What could Peyton possibly be doing that's more important than this? He's filming a commercial with the the Rally Monkey from the Angels for PETA? Damn him. *looks at Eli* Get off the stage. I'm sick of looking at you.

Eli: Damn it, I wanted the Amanda Beard Fathead!

Phelps: "What's this hunk of junk made of? Silver?? I'm a GOLD medal winner, Eli. This silver crap is for Super Bowl trophies and crappy wrist watches.

Coming this Spring to Fox: Olympian or Special Olympian?

Phelps: "This is an award from Sports Illustrated, right? So why don't I get a swimsuit model to give this thing to me? Why am I stuck with some lesser Manning? You'd never try to pull this crap on Jenner!

Standing next to the cardboard cutout of Phelps, Eli learns he is indeed tall enough to be a douchebag.

Michael Phelps is reluctant to shack Eli's hand after watching him play pocket pool for a good 45 minutes.

[in tandem]"What has four thumbs and gets more tail than all of AA's commentors? These guys!"

With only a 10" stool you too can be taller than Michael Phelps!

*shake (I can't spell sometimes)

The media was astonished by the first unveiling of the "Fathead" wax museum collection. Just in time for the holidays.

Both at same time: "Wow, and I thought I had a messed-up looking face. This guy makes me look like a Greek freakin' god!

Looking rested and refreshed, the first and second-place finishers in the 2008 Celebrity Chin-wrestling competition share a moment in the spotlight.

Evil Wax Eli prepares the lighter in his right arm which he plans to utilize in melting Goofy Wax Phelps.

Eli and Michael share fond memories of Mrs. Persinger's 11th grade Remedial English Class.

Eli: See, you don't even have to wear a tie! It's great!

What?! I've been asked to wear this thing over my head for all my future public appearances?!

Eli (through clenched teeth): Hey Mike, isn't it cool how our toupees are mirror images of each other?

The award for the Most Awkward Looking Smile goes to...it's a TIE!!!

Photoshopped.

Brad Pitt and George Clooney were mightily disturbed at their reflections in the funhouse mirror they found on set during filming of Ocean's 45

"I loved you in Entourage."

-Eli Manning

Unstoppable. Michael Phelps is with his 8 gold medals in Beijing and his Sportsman of the Year trophy. Notice it has nothing to do with his Citizen Eco-Drive watch...

Eli: What's that?

Michael: It's a vase.

Eli: Are you going to put a floral display in this?

Michael: I don't know.

I say to them.. you want ice cream cone? Both of them say Yes!

Eli and Michael Phelps stand calmly right before the following exchange:

Eli: You're it.
Phelps: You're it.
Eli: You're it, quitsies!
Phelps: Anti-quitsies, you're it, quitsies, no anti-quitsies, no startsies!
Eli: You can't do that!
Phelps: Can too!
Eli: Cannot, stamp it!
Phelps: Can too, double stamp it, no erasies!
Eli: Cannot, triple stamp, no erasies, Touch blue make it true.
Phelps: No, you can't do that... you can't triple stamp a double stamp, you can't triple stamp a double stamp! Lloyd!
Eli: [hands over ears] LA LA LA LA LA LA!
Phelps: ELI! ELI! ELI!

Ladies and Gentlemen... introducing the first public appearance of Phelanning

anon, did you get the memo that AA has band movie quotes for a while?

Eli: He beat me out of Sportsman of the Year AND he looks like Peyton. I just hope he doesn't have my cellphone number, too.

After commenting on Phelps acheivement by saying "Nice addition to your bling-bling collection, Mike", Eli Manning and Michael Phelps were then subjected to the longest awkward silence in recorded history.

Great suits, guys, do they come in men's sizes, too?

Eli poses with his new partner is the DSRL! Shhhhh.....don't tell Peyton.

Michael: Why do they give ancient egyptian artifacts for winning "sportsman of the year"?

Eli: It's not for that, it's for treating the shower like a greek bath house. Trust me, I know.

Shit, you mean they aren't the same person.

I don't know about you, but I think the camera that took this picture should be checked for a label that says 'Heche en Mexico'...

Verne Lundquist:
"Coming up on tonight's episode of Mer-man and the Little Brother - Little Brother finds himself kidnapped by sea pirates and left to die on a sinking ship surrounded by deadly, man-eating sea sharks! Can Mer-man use his superhuman abilities to save Little Brother in time? Find out in tonight's brand new episode of Mer-man and the Little Brother! That's tonight, right here, only on CBS!"

Pictured here are Eli Manning and MIchael Phelps. You may remember Phelps from his performance in those Rosetta Stone commercials. This shot shows them just before being sucked into a vortex filled with over-paid athletes with too many endorsements. The left side of Phelps' face seems to already be feeling the effects of the powerful suction.

Phelps: "You know, before a race it takes three people to help me put on my swimsuit."

Manning: "Really? Me too! Before every game, Coach Coughlin has to help me get my jock strap on the right way and then remind me which shoe goes on which foot."

Eli: Nice haircut.

Phelps: You too.

You parted your hair the wrong way.

I can haz hold douche trofee too?

Michael Phelps accepts this year's award for biggest pussy magnet. (Not Pictured is the award presenter Borat Sagdiyev)