"Minus 100 Tommy Points, fucker."

"What do you mean the last one to puke from this ipecac gets the number one pick?"

my that brandon roy looks dishy.

Since when was Seinfeld on Fox?

I love pretending to be thinking about something when all I'm really doing is squeezing out a fart

Watch this Dick, that's a full court press I've got going in my pants.

Where's Telfair? I need his gun

Anon- I don't know...for about the last 10 years! Reruns I know, but give me a break.

Heinsohn thinking: Where's the ref that caused the tuck rule? Can't he fix the lottery too?

When will Simmons stop calling me? This thing is really getting annoying!

So this must be how Paul Pierce felt that night after he went to the Buzz club.

Christ! 5th pick! Our franchise will never get out of this seemingly endless funk. I envy Red, he took the easy way out.

Now I know how Brady Quinn felt...

At least that Chinese guy can join Violet Palmer in the kitchen...as the dishwasher.

I have many leather-bound books, and my apartment smells of rich mahogany. I'm friends with Merlin Olsen, too. He comes over on occasion.

Hmmm...what should I have for dinner? Steak? Yeah, steak. I love a good steak. Maybe some fries with it. Yeah, fries. And a beer. A big icy mug of beer.

You do NOT treat Tommy Heinsohn this way! I drive a Dodge Stratus! DODGE STRATUS!

Oh. I've wasted my life.

I know that f-ing Simmons is going to find some way to blame this all on me.

Crap, looks like I should order some shiny green hair ties. Maybe if Noah comes out with his Mom our racist fans won't notice.

Maybe if I squeak it out slowly, no one will notice...

Oh, so I guess 10 Thai hookers and a bottle of Louis XIII just doesn't carry the bribing power it used to.