Saturday, December 06, 2008
Hi folks. Ready for Conference Championship Saturday? Well, I am and I'm not. My TV decided it had had enough and died, so I'll be listening to what I can on the radio (obviously not the same) while taking down your quotes and shopping for my first HDTV set. (If I am out for a while this is why I am gone -- I will be at Best Buy or Costco trying to rectify this as soon as possible.)
That said, I hope ESPN radio is getting a good game to start. Let's hop to it. Don't worry; this won't affect NFL Sunday too much here: I still plan to put up open threads and try and watch games on the computer, but if I don't have a set by Sunday, there won't be a live-blog.
Anyway, Our Matron Saint is in the lead, and trying to fend off the Good Doctor Lou and Crazy Uncle Gary, last year's defending champion. Ms. Ward is on Division II playoffs (thanks RJBO), Lou is in the studio, and Uncle Gary will be at Alabama-Florida in the ATL.
Have at it!
Your College Football Announcing Schedule For Week Fifteen
"Can Oklahoma dial it up again? A conference championship game after 2 big weeks." - Andre Ware making it sound like that Oklahoma is playing their 3rd straight conference championship game (via JFein)
"Last of the paper ballots here." - Chris Fowler to Lee Corso after Corso said he sent in Heisman vote.
"We vote online" - Desmond Howard on his and Fowler's voting method.
"Will OJ vote" - Fowler
"He wont be voting online." - Howard (via JG)
"I cant remember the last time I did a game that featured two fullbacks" - Boomer Esiason
"We can almost count the passes on one hand"- Ian Eagle (via JG)
Look at the Army-Navy game. Gouge my eyes out over the uniforms on both teams! (Via James Craven)
You're not kidding....
"Known for the stiff arm, that's his signature move. On PlayStation I think it's the C button."
Brock Huard on UConn running back (via Bazooka Jones, who notes that there is no C button on a PS)
"Actually I'm gonna take ballroom dancing lessons." - Chris Spielman as Sean McDonough mentioned Dancing With The Stars last night during the MAC championship (via JFein)
"Welcome back to So You Think Your Commute Was Rough" - Rob Stone on the many misfortunes the University of Buffalo fan bus had on its way to Detroit
"There's nothing like artery clogging, tailgating food at 9:00 AM. Those are my kind of people." - Bob Wischusen (via JFein)
"Being President is a pretty good deal. You get invited to a lot of great events, and a lot of presents." - Esiason
"You just found out about this?" - Eagle, considering Esiason went to college less than 10 miles from DC I hope not (via JG)
"Should have just put up the fair catch signal."- Andre Ware after a ECU player dropped a ball on a short kickoff (via Anon, who notes that it doesn't matter, he dropped the frickin' ball!)
"See the big fellow at the top of the screen, he's asking for the football." - Andre Ware
"He's flashing" - Dave Pasch
Awkward silence followed. (Via JFein)
"I mean, look at that. That's great protection by the Army offensive line." -- Boomer Esiason, as the Army QB gets sacked (via TAS)
"How about a college that makes their own ice cream! That is my kind of school." -Bob Wischusen (via Anon)
"Welcome to The Tampa, everyone." - The Brad Nessler during the pregame of the ACC championship game featuring the Boston College and the Virginia Tech (via JFein)
"Don't move. that's what they teach you." - Dave Pasch, after a replay showing Tulsa's O-line staying put on a free play (via James Craven)
"The Hokies have to get back to Beamer Ball, which is take away the ball on defense, take away the ball on special teams." - Bob Griese (via JFein)
"You better watch out, you better not cry, you better not pout I'm telling you why." - Brad Nessler
"Virginia Tech's defense is coming to town." - Paul Maguire (via JFein)
"No chair for Rece. Mark May and Lou Holtz have nice comfy chairs and the man who runs the show has nothing." - Bob Wischusen (Via JFein)
"Let's take another look at him filling this hole." - Brad Nessler (Via JFein)
"He's just heading to the hole....sees it and slams it."- Paul Maguire
I left out a few words for comedy's sake. (Via Anon)
I caught that exchange as well and it was loaded with innuendo. Great stuff.
"When you slip and fall, and make your own fatal errors...."- Brock Huard
Fatal, huh? I think I might die of boredom while watching this 3-3 barn burner between UConn and Pitt.
"This is a fake by Dodge!...and he punts it at the last minute." - Dave Pasch on an option punt (Via JFein)
S2N here....back from Best Buy with a 32-inch Sony Bravia LCD that's currently scanning for my cable channels. It's a $750 set that I got for $700, they had a deal with a Sony home theater system tossed in (5-DVD/CD changer and subwoofer!) I'm tingling with anticipation. It's gonna look kinda blah until I get the cable company to bring in an HD box.
"He tried to get too cute there, to pull it(the ball) out. Option fullbacks have told me, if youre past the QB the ball's yours." - Esiaison on a botched exchange (via JG)
"Who could ever remember such a piece of television?" - Bob Wischusen, on the Jimmy V speech (via Rick James Bible Owner, who suggests that Bob might have meant "forget")
"That one was thrown at 150 miles per hour." - Dave Pasch (via JFein)
"The sum of the parts is greater than the team. The combination of the parts is greater....what am I trying to say?" - Jon Ritchie (via JFein)
"You go winless at the University of Washington, you get fired" - Petros Papadakis (via BSPN)
"Washington trying to salvage another something-something" - Barry Tompkins (via BSPN)
DEAR GOD THIS TV IS SPECTACULAR. MY MIND JUST EXPLODED.
"Tulsa lives and dies by the pass, and I think they got the latter there." - DeMarco Farr, talking about the Conference USA championship (via Anon)
"You wonder if East Carolina gets into the Autozone Liberty Bowl or the GMAC bowl, if they'll have enough players, with all of their injuries." - Dave Pasch
"Good point." - Andre Ware (via JFein)
"It's been that type of year for the dogs."-Petros, talking about the awful Washington team (via 49er16)
"Our yellow line is usually accurate." - Dave Pasch (via James Craven)
"1:03 left knee time for East Carolina" - Ware after the pick (via JG)
"They were upset by East Carolina this year in the opening week and they had some really tough road games. That's part of the reason they have 4-losses this year." - Brad Nessler (via JFein)
"Does he get the sack, even though it was a halfback pass."-Petros Papadakis (via 49er16)
"So we put the jinx on him."- Barry Tompkins, talking about Cal's miss field goal. (via 49er16)
"This is where you'll see Frank Beamer grind it here." - Brad Nessler (via JFein). Ewwwww.
"If youre Frank Beamer you just grind it out here" - Nessler
VA tech proceeds to fumble then Nessler says:
"You can scratch what i just said" (via JG)
"I don't know if it was the helmet or the ball, but they both came out" Petros Papadakis (via BSPN)
"You got a lot of angry guys at the University of Washington, that want to take it out on other guys." Petros (via BSPN)
"If Texas is not in the Championship game, they will definitely have a beef, no pun intended." Spenser Tillman (via Walnuts)
"Some serious cracking going on." - Brad Nessler (via SSR)
"Hey, I took off my shoes." - Paul Maguire (via SSR)
"He is looking like he just got a haircut before the game" Petros (via BSPN)
THERE ISN'T EVEN HD IN THIS SET YET AND IT IS AMAZING.
"Bruce did you run across Paul Maguire ? " Todd Harris to former VT & Buffalo Bills player Bruce Smith
"Far too often. Paul we never experienced weather like this time of year." - Smith (who's wearing a sweatshirt)
"No we didn't." - Maguire.
"Hey Paul, Bruce is a class act, you should have heard what he said off camera about you." - Harris
"I'll come down and slap him around after the game" - Maguire
(Last few quotes via JG)
"Did we tell you they're ranked first and second..." - Crazy Uncle Vern never hearing of something called The BCS Standings. Associated Press' writers poll is a bunch of asswipes (that last quote and opinion completely the sole opinion of James Craven)
"Thurman Thomas, Buffalo" - Paul Maguire forgetting the fact that Thomas was at Oklahoma State. (via James Craven)
"I usually just fill it out. I'm computer illiterate." - Nessler on his Heisman ballot. How many people at ESPN have Heisman votes? (via JG)
"Chris Rogers delivered the initial blow." - Verne Lundquist (via SSR)
"Opening parry of the game." - Lundquist (via RJBO)
You cannot stop Tebow. You cannot even hope to contain him. 7-0, Florida.
Julio Jones is the truth. Quick comeback and we've got a tie score in the SECCG.
"I keep hearing about style points, how about style no points?" Todd Blackledge (via BSPN)
"I have a feeling it's gonna turn around at the end of the quarter. A lot of it has to do with the wind. Although the turnover had nothing to do with it." - Ray Bentley (via JFein)
"Florida takes over at the eleven after Hall's special special teams play." - Grandpa Verne (via JFein)
"Sounds like the OJ sentencing!" - Mike Patrick, after a referee says the timeouts for the home uniforms in USC-UCLA will run concurrently (via BSPN)
"You have the option to add [penalty yards after on a punt] after the run. Good move there by Nick" - Uncle Gary who is apparently on a 1st name basis with Coach Saban. (via JFein)
"He squatted all over Nelson there"- Verne, after 'Bama DB breaks up a 3rd down pass.
"He's the biggest safety in the history of football." - Mike Patrick (via James Craven)
"Alabama jumping the short routes. 1,2. Like my stock account now." - Danielson
"Gary putting that math degree from Purdue to good use." - Verne (via JG)
"It is all good for light blue so far" - Mike Patrick (via BSPN)
I am not sweating USC down by a touchdown so far because Kevin Craft is still the UCLA quarterback. This isn't 2006 yet.
"The good news for Craft, although he didn't complete the pass, he did through towards the blue jersey" Todd Blackledge (via BSPN)
Kevin Craft makes Steven Threet look like Tom Brady. - RJBO
I posted that because it's hilarious.
"Verrell (the ref in the D-II playoff game) and I are on the same wavelength, we don't get many wrong." - Ray Bentley
"You do." - Pam Ward (via JFein)
"Norris was in his face and kept riding him." - Mike Patrick (via SSR)
"When you say there's a penalty against Pouncey you have a 40% chance of being right." - Crazy Uncle Gary about Florida's identical twins on the front (via James Craven)
Per SSR, we have an update on the ignominious end of Ty Willingham's coaching career at U-Dub: it is 45-0 in Berkeley, with Cal up and Jahvid Best has 300+ rushing yards. OW OW OW.
"Those 4 interceptions were like the ones your grandmother would have thrown" - Mike Patrick (via BSPN)
"That's one of those weird moments where the quarterback saw the guy coming from behind." - Petros Papadakis (via JFein, who wonders how that is possible)
"There you see the very famous 'Tightwad Hill'. Lotsa tightwads up there." -Petros on the far side of Memorial Stadium where the fans watch for free. (via James Craven)
"Looks like they are rehearsing their ad libs already." - Verne talking about the CBS halftime crew (via RJBO)
"I know I'm sounding like a broken record, partner, but this is where Kevin Craft really needs to take care of the football." - Todd Blackledge
Like that's even possible. Craft is the definition of QB EPIC FAIL, although having a patch-work O-line has not helped him.
"Is that show anything like Gilligan's Island?" - Todd Blackledge, talking about Lost as Mike Patrick does a promo.
"(Bama DB) Kareem Jackson didn't believe that (Florida WR) David Nelson could beat him deep. He squatted all over him."- Gary Danielson (via LSUTigerFan19)
"You finish it off with a little hammer and nails, that's what you do when you have the tools." - Crazy Uncle Gary describing the Alabama attack with Julio Jones and Mark Ingram on the last touchdown.
"It's a square out, Terry Bradshaw's favorite pass." - Uncle Gary
"It's everybody's favorite pass." - Uncle Verne
"Tim Tebow's like the snake doctor for Florida. Gotta stop the snake doctor, keep the Gators from moving the ball....this time he snaked Alabama with a play action pass." - Uncle Gary
"Buy stock in UCLA right now." - Craig James (via RJBO)
"Hit by Terrance 'Mount' Cody." - Uncle Verne
"It's the victory formation, in this case, its let's get in the lockeroom formation" - Mike Patrick (via BSPN)
"I like it when you go polysyllabic." - Verne to Uncle Gary (via James Craven)
"Like Frazier, the body punches [of Alabama] are starting to land." - Uncle Gary
"Percy Harvin is milking a groin injury." - unknown radio dudes via Two Dogs, because it was too funny not to post.
We've reached, oh we haven't reached the end of 3. There's still 8 seconds left." - Grandpa Verne (via JFein)
"Sanchez throws short of Terrence Austin....erm, I mean Craft." - Mike Patrick, forgetting which team was on offense.
"He's looking for lost parts, teeth, count all the Chiclets." - Mike Patrick, after Mark Sanchez gets rocked on a legal but hard hit by the UCLA D-line.
"Mmmm...muy sabroso." - Todd Blackledge, working the Spanish at the end of Taste of the Town.
"Vaya con carne. You've always said "Go with meat," and you did." - Mike Patrick
"I had four years of Spanish, I have no idea what you just said." - Mike Patrick.
"He said he wouldn't recruit a corner unless he was ball friendly." - Danielson (via Drew)
"I love the line about SEC games: every one of 'em's a knife fight in a ditch." - Mike Patrick
Florida's in the MNC. 31-20, Gators, after that last good drive.
"I won't watch the National Title game if Florida isn't in it." - Uncle Gary (via Corbin)
"Boy, when Craft misses, he misses big time." - Mike Patrick (via JFein)
"What about Ole Miss? Do you think you should thank them for the wake-up call?" - Tracy Wolfson to Tim Tebow (via JFein)
"The Nissan Pre-game show continues with the Dr. Pepper Big 12 Championship." - Brent Musberger
So the championship game is part of the pre-game show? - JFein
"Temperatures will be down in the 20s, but there is no rain or snow in the forecast." - Brent Musberger
Since when does it RAIN in the 20s? - SSR
Bradford, incomplete, for the second time in a row. He's human now." - Brent
"Big hole, Brown explodes." - Brent Musberger
"And now there's-- it's a snowball, I thought it was a flag."- Ron Franklin
"Final snap of the opening quarter it looks like, or I should correct myself, I was looking at the wrong clock." - Brent Musburger
"2nd down and inches here.....or I should say 2nd down and ten. I have to correct myself there." - Brent Musberger
"We'll send it for the first time today to Matt Winer." - Brent Musberger
"Or John Saunders, Brent." - John Saunders
"Let's throw it upstairs to Brent Musberger, in that warm announcement booth." - Marcellus Wiley
"Look at those rear ends!"- Brent Musburger
"saban makes a point of only recruiting corners who are ball-friendly."- Gary Danielson
"Jermaine Cunningham comes in his face."- Mark May