"What'cha gonna do, brother, when Shane Victorino runs wild on you!"

Martin: "I don't know where it's going ... I wouldn't dig in too much if I were you."

"That kid is BACK ON THE ESCALATOR!"

Victorino: "Seriously Russ, tell your wife it was fun, but to stop calling me. By the way, she's telling everyone that you're only this big..."

NO MARY ANNE WAS DEFINITLY HOTTER THEN GINGER

hey do you know how to say stop throwing at my head in japanesse?

"Tastes great!"
"Less filling"

If he throws at my head again I'm sending Brett Myers after his wife.

Martin: You might be the only person in the league that I am taller than.
Victorino: You are only this much taller than me, Damn!

Victorino: "Now you listen here, sunshine..."

I'm telling you right now that they really did boo Sarah Palin.

Victorino: "No, bro, those really are So Taguchi's real eyes!"

Martin: "Come on man, I've been reading a lot of Stephen King lately."

That's what she said.

My name is Shane Victorino. You killed my father. Prepare to die

Martin: It's funny, you know. It's a good story, it's funny,you're a funny guy.
[laughs]
Victorino: what do you mean, you mean the way I talk? What?
Martin: It's just, you know. You're just funny, it's... funny, the way you tell the story and everything.

Kuroda: Flyin' Hawaiian no, You got it all wrong.
Victorino: Oh, oh, Hiroki. He's a big boy, he knows what he said. What did ya say? Funny how?
Martin: Jus...
Victorino: What?
Martin: Just... ya know... you're funny.
Victorino: You mean, let me understand this cause, ya know maybe it's me, I'm a little f****d up maybe, but I'm funny how, I mean funny like I'm a clown, I amuse you? I make you laugh, I'm here to f****ng' amuse you? What do you mean funny, funny how? How am I funny?

Victorino "Russ, when was the last time you had a prostate exam"

Martin: "Hey, I don't even let anyone wag a finger in my face!"

Shane: Hey Russ, hows your wife and my kids?

Russ: Shutup, or we will drill the next time you are up.

Victorino: You know what I am going to do about this?
Martin: What?
Victorino: Nothing...So what I am going to do is piss and moan like an impotent jerk, and then bend over and take it like a man!
(Liar Liar reference)

Here, take my dip you big silly, but don't forget yours again... Wow, do you keep an extra ball in your pants?

Victorino: "Confucious say: Man who go to bed with itchy butt, wake up with stinky finger. Here...smell."

Victorino: Rock beats scissors!!! Now you owe me a fastball right over the middle!!!

Victorino: "Of course Howard deserves the MVP award. He hit like a ton of homeruns and stuff."

Martin: "He is a strikeout machine!"

Victorino: "Yeah...but...he hits HOMERUNS!"

You and Mr. Miyagi over there just messed with the wrong dojo, that's right Cobra Kai!

http://tobroketolaugh.com

Shane: Did you call me a cocksucker?

Russle: No, I said it was a cock sucky call.

You call this an ounce of weed? Tell Manny to come over here.

Pull my finger.

"But the black Ghostbuster, he do nothing."

"See what I had done was I took a LEFT on Elysian Avenue..."

Shane Victorino to Russell Martin: "You just wait until Jamie Moyer gets out here next inning. He's going to stick a 48 mile per hour fastball in your ribcage. That will make you bastards think twice about doing this again!"

Shane Victorino to Russell Martin: "By the power of Grayskull...I have the POWER!"

Russell Martin to Shane Victorino: "Two men enter...one man leaves, it's 'Highlander' time, b'otch!"

Russell Martin to Shane Victorino: "Does Hideki Kuroda have to choke a bitch?"

Shane Victorino: "So, I hear the In 'N' Out Burger is near Radford, huh?"

No dude, ONE CUP, two chicks - and only one cup

Shane Victorino haiku:

Throw at me, will ya?
I'll get my revenge, bastards!
Two run shot Monday

Can't we vaguely ethnic people all just get along?

DUDE! This booger is HUGE!!!

...say hi to your mother for me.