Van Gundy Has Lost His Mind, Talks Alyssa Milano And Haircuts During Game Three

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

The guy never ceases to amaze me with his rants. Game One it was making friends with the ABC camermen, in Game Two it was adding a seventh foul to a player's total, and Game Three it was Alyssa Milano and how it costs him full price for a haircut. Enjoy this spliced together clip from Game Three!



Mike Breen's chuckling at the beginning of the setup says it all. This guy's scatter-brainess is become stuff of legends. I admit it throws me off at times but as long as he's not distracting people with two minutes left in the game (*ahem* Kornheiser! *ahem*) then I don't have a problem with it. I also don't have a problem with him liking Alyssa Milano even though I called her first. Well technically Tony Danza, Carl Pavano, Justin Timberlake, Barry Zito, Brad Penny, and Fred Durst called her "first", but....ummm yeah. Nevermind.

P.S.- Michael Clark Duncan scares me.

The Rest of Your Game Three in Quotes:

"Terrible shot Luke!"- Jeff Van Gundy in his best Bill Walton voice
"It's your turn Mark, do a Bill Walton impression."- Mike Breen
"A Bill Walton impression? No thank you. You guys are better than that."- Mark Jackson

"Which in effect are saying Boston is not very good."- Mike Breen after a "Boston Sucks" chant
"Is that the Mike Breen remix?"- Mark Jackson

"Get up Bitch!"- Kobe Bryant after just about every free throw

"You want a term for indefensible? Right there."- Jeff Van Gundy while watching a replay

"Maybe they've gotta go to the hack-a-Bryant."- Jeff Van Gundy after Kobe's fifth miss at the line

"Do you know how many hustle plays Posey has had tonight? It's not going to show in the scorecard besides him being a gutsy player."- Jeff Van Gundy

12 Comments:

Awful,

I love the team of Mike Breen, Mark Jackson and Jeff Van Gundy. Jeff is crazy but funny. Mark Jackson has been his best this year because he blends well with Jeff. Mike Breen despite minor slip ups has been solid as well. I hope ABC keep this team as the lead team for as long as they can.

Anonymous said...
Jun 11, 2008, 7:49:00 AM  

Alonzo Mourning would be happy to give JVG a free haircut as he's being dragged around a basketball court, clinging to whoever's ankles he can grab. What- no combover special?

oz said...
Jun 11, 2008, 8:52:00 AM  

I do find Van Gundy amusing from time to time but his analysis is just horrendous.

My biggest thing is that someone needs to tell him that Rajon Rondo is a pretty good player. You would never know by listening to Jeff. The only thing he ever says about Rondo is that he hurts the Celtics offensively because he can't hit a jump shot (which he has worked on and has actually become a little more reliable with) and that he isn't a good one on one defender, he's a good "gamble defender" (what the hell is that?!).

No matter what Rondo does (16 assists in game 2 or just plain be the best option for the Celtics at the point because he can create so much offense and isn't Sam Cassell) Van Gundy will only comment on him if he does something wrong.

When Rondo leaves the game you can clearly see a bad rhythm in the Celtics offense. Sam Cassell comes in and jacks the ball up whenever he touches it. Eddie House, for everything he does right, just doesn't have the skills to be a point guard. Rondo however has played with these guys all year, knows how, when and where to get them the ball and will even stick up for himself and demand certain things from the Big Three when they aren't doing something right. But Jeff Van Gundy only sees that he isn't a good jump shooter so he is bad for the Celtics offense.

Just forget the fact that he outplayed Mike Bibby, Delonte West, and Chauncy Billups (all of whom I'm sure Van Gundy loves because they are all good shooters). He can't shoot a jumper very well so he hurts the other players on the court when he is in there.

I wish someone would bring this up along with the fact that ESPN only shows replays to confirm what their analysts say. That's a story for another day though... I've bitched long enough.

Sorry.

Anonymous said...
Jun 11, 2008, 8:57:00 AM  

not that i pay attention to this stuff or anything... but isn't nick lachey dating Vanessa Minnillo?

Anonymous said...
Jun 11, 2008, 9:02:00 AM  

I also liked (what I assume was) Breen's Walton impression; "That was the greatest pass in Lakers' history."

Anonymous said...
Jun 11, 2008, 10:11:00 AM  

Yeah, there is nothing more insane than bitching about paying for a full price haircut in the 4th quarter of an NBA Finals game. JVG truly is an idiot.

GMoney said...
Jun 11, 2008, 10:41:00 AM  

anonymous rondo fan,

You're obviously a huge boston fan because your love for rondo is blinding you from being reasonable. Your whole basis for calling jvg's commentary "horrendous" is because he doesn't love the same player you love. forget the fact that he's actually right and that while rondo is a good facilatator, his inability to hit jump shots consistently means that whichever laker defender is guarding him just plays off him and can roam on defense. it's true rondo has worked on his j and is a little more reliable like you said, but the bottom line is jvg's right in saying that rondo not being able to hit shots hurts the celtics offense. besides, it's not like jvg gives him no credit. I distinctly remember him saying doc rivers has a tough choice to make, to either go with rondo's passing or cassell/house's shooting which helps space the floor better. by the way, a "gamble defender" is someone who reaches and tries to play the passing lanes to go for steals as opposed to just moving their feet and staying in front of their defender. iverson gambles a lot, players like posey and battier play good fundamental defense and just try to contest shots instead of going for steals. c'mon, jvg is just that funny and entertaining, you can't deny that.

Anonymous said...
Jun 11, 2008, 11:21:00 AM  

I did a double take when JVG made a comment the following comment during the fourth quarter (and I'm paraphrasing here):

"It's amazing how many loose balls James Posey has had today."

Apparently he needs more supportive underwear?

Jun 11, 2008, 12:24:00 PM  

Anonymous wrong guy,
OK, you're not completely wrong but your assessment, first of all, of Rondo's defense (and Van Gundy's assessment) is wrong. He is a very good defender, one on one, team and "gambler" (I know what I gambler is I was just saying that because it's a stupid term to use for Rondo).

I would like to know why, if the Celtics offense is so hurt by Rondo's inability to make a consistent jump shot they were able to win 66 games this season and 3 rounds of playoff games with him playing close to if not way more than 35 minutes in just about every game. Sam Cassell was benched for his lack of knowledge of the offense, Eddie House is a shooting guard in a point guard's body. Rajon Rondo is one of the top 5 or 6 young point guards in the league. But Van Gundy thinks that since he can't shoot he is hurting the team he led to 66 wins this season. How is that NOT horrendous analysis.

For the things he can't do on offense (shoot, mainly) he does so many other things well. Sure his defender can fell free to roam around to the other players but one of Rondo's strongest qualities is his ability to hang around the right areas (he hung around behind the defense and got a nice feed from a double teamed--with Rondo's man--Perkins on one such play last night for one of the easiest layups you will ever see in a Finals game).

This isn't really the proper forum to argue but I hope I've made my point. Van Gundy even questioning which point guard is "right" for the Celtics in the 4th quarter of a Finals game shows that he is not at all familiar with how the Celtics play or how they had so much success this season.

By the way, I am a Boston fan and can see faults in Rondo's game but those wouldn't be pertinent to my argument, would they? So what would be the point in bringing them up.

Anonymous said...
Jun 11, 2008, 1:04:00 PM  

anonymous at 11:21 *is* jeff van gundy.

nobody else is paying attention that closely to what he says!

also, he knew that exact definition of 'gamble defender', and referred to himself as 'just that funny and entertaining'.

i rest my case.

Anonymous said...
Jun 11, 2008, 2:02:00 PM  

no i'm not jvg, just a fan of his coaching and his commentary. and everyone who watches/plays basketball knows what a defender who gambles a lot is.

to anonymous boston fan, i don't want to waste too much time getting into an argument especially since personally i like rondo a lot. i think you're just overreacting to what jvg says because it wasn't like he was bashing rondo's defense the whole game. i don't even remember him saying anything negative about his defense during yesterday's game at all.

and about his shaky j, there's not much you say to defend rondo there. from espn's daily dime, "In the early going, Bryant left Rondo time and again, roaming the floor freely, taking up space, and taking away options from players like Garnett and Pierce." and "and I just thought they were more aggressive," Rivers said. "Kobe was really live off of Rondo -- something they did in the last game, as well. But he was more aggressive at it."

sure he does other things well, but that's why he plays as much as he does. if he didn't defend and distribute, he wouldn't be playing at all. the fact that the celtics won 66 games doesn't really mean anything, if his j was more consistent maybe they would've won even more games. and they're not playing against bottom feeding east teams anymore, so they have to be realistic in assessing player's weaknesses and what to do about it. rondo cutting to the basket and getting a layup is a lot less likely to happen in the closing minutes of a tight game too. the last thing is that jvg actually said boston should play posey with allen and pierce in the backcourt which i thought was a really good idea.

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