"Now to avoid any confusion should we change your name to Roy Uno Uno, or is this finally a good enough excuse to get rid of the other Roy Williams?

Roy, you're not in Detroit anymore. It ain't THAT damn cold here.

Roy Williams: "You had me delivered out of Detroit. Do I have to tip you, too?"

JJ: "How are your Tar Heels looking this year, Roy?"
RW: "I'm not THAT Roy Williams."
JJ: "Oh, well then get out there on defense, son."
RW: "I'm not THAT Roy Williams either."
JJ: "Shit, boy, how the hell many of you are there?"

This handshake seals it. Your soul is mine.

Jerry: I masturbate with this hand

"That's right, we sent a first, a third and a sixth round pick for you."
...
"No, the name Herschel Walker doesn't ring a bell. What are you getting at?"

Jerry: "Will you be needing a body guard?"

I normally shake with my left hand, but I'm currently rolling a booger.

Jerry Jones discreetly slips a key to the team crackhouse into the hand of his newest star.

"Why hello there Roy. I'm Satan, and I'll be your Evil Overlord for the next five years. Enjoy!"

Talking out of turn, that's a paddlin'. Looking out the window, that's a paddlin'. Paddlin' the school canoe, oh, you better believe that's a paddlin'.

I knew my boy Romo was hurt, but I didn't think we'd be bringing you in Drew. My what a tan you have.

Do you do coke? Smoke weed? Get into fights with bodyguards? Play with your dong in the lockerroom? None of those? Well son, these are the Dallas Cowboys you have to do one of those.

Welcome to Dallas Roy. After pratice we'll get you your team issue hookers,weed,and bodyguad/punching bag.

Jerry- "Hey I thought you played safety, but I guess we can have a hard hitter on both sides of the ball"

Having just watched Mallrats, Jerry Jones executes a perfect "Stinkpalm" as a way to haze the new guy.

Tell me sumthin Roy, now, is it true that in Deetroit, there are better plastic surgeons than here in Dallas? I don't believe it.

Jerry Jones, Rush Chairman. Damn glad to meet you.

Stay out da scrip clubs, my good man.

The cowboys sign a lions reject. Things can only get better for "America's Team"

Roy comes to his senses: "I don't need 24 hours. I don't have to talk to anybody. I know right now, and the answer's no. No! Doggone it! You sit around here and you spin your little webs and you think the whole world revolves around you and your money! Well, it doesn't, Mr. Jones! In the, in the whole vast configuration of things, I'd say you were nothing but a scurvy little spider!"

"OK, Roy, here's how it works. That guy over there's your babysitter, and 81 needs a lot of attention or he'll cry. Now keep it clean, because this is, ahem, [whispering while looking both ways] America's team."

Jerry: "I am Jerry Jones, do you like my plastic surgeries."

Roy: "Sure, were do I get my team issued bodygaurds."

We don't really need another receiver. We just thought you might have more coverage skills than the other Roy Williams.

"Glad to have you here son. Now tell me, how do you feel about playing a little cornerback for us?"

I thought I told the Lions I wanted Orlovsky to fill in for Romo! Who are you???

Now, Roy, you go and bring all that playoff winning experience to the rest of the team now.

Roy: When the hell did Al Davis buy the Cowboys!

Are you, uh, carrying?

Jerry: hey, son, how would you like to play for the Arkansas Razorbacks...oh, right.

JERRY: "OK. So we f*cked up with the first Roy Williams, so tell me - can you cover somebody?"

Jerry: "Son, can you commit a crime quickly? If not, can you commit to being a whining, disruptive, overrated POS?"

http://njfrogman.blogspot.com/2008/10/odds-pacman-jones-joins-juice-at-some.html

JJ: "No I was not in a disfiguring chemical fire. Why do you ask?

Two of Three Lifetime Members of the Society of Unmet Expectations. Not pictured: A. Rodriguez.

I just want to make sure. Are you the only other Roy Williams playing in the NFL?? I want to collect all of them as minions in my evil army!!!

Roy, here in Dallas, you don't have to leave the country in order to go to a decent strip club!

Roy Williams: "It's a pleasure to meet you Mr. Jones."

Jerry Jones: "I'm Jerry Jones and I love black people."

Williams: "What?"

Jones: "Just had to say that. The league is always listening. Who are you again?"

FIRE MILLEN

Williams: "Hello Warden"

Jones: "Welcome to my prison, Inmate 11. I know we just lost Paul Crewe, but we still have Deacon and Cheeseburger Eddy. Now, head over there and ask for Caretaker. He has everything you need. You do what I say and we'll get along just fine!"

Roy: Pleasure to meet you Mr. Jones, I'm Roy Williams

Jones: Roy? We've met already, now get out there and go horse-collar tackle that new guy we got. Williams I think...

JJ: "You do have better hands than TO, right?"

RW: "Uh, no, not really."

JJ: Fuck.

Damn you, sanity has gone south. You stole my joke!

The Boss meets his 2009 first round pick.

Williams: So, you're Jerry Jones? Funny, you look older in person...

A special sneak peek from the new season of "Punk'd," Ashton Kutcher sets up Jerry Jones with Roy Williams impersonator Ving Rhames.

Jerry Jones: "Roy, I know we just met and all, but goodbyes seem to work better when someone leaves."

In an effort to show his commitment to winning, Roy Williams engages in a "Stare To The Death" contest with Cowboys owner Jerry Jones.

Jerry Jones: "If you don't get us a Super Bowl ring this season, this will be the last time I shake your hand as a member of the Dallas Cowboys."

11: "I am honored to be a member of the Dallas Cowboys and I will do my best to help this team win. By the way, did I mention I am from Texas?" (Silently thinks he is much more demanding than Matt Millen was)

Roy Williams: "So, let me see if I get this straight: You're really the coach? Jeez, this place is even more dysfunctional than Detroit!"

Jones? I've been calling you Tom Landry for the last two days.

"Hi, my name is Roy Williams, and before I step foot on that field, I would just like to let you know that I am not worth what you gave up to get me."

Welcome to the Desperados!

I'm just surprised Roy didn't drop Jerry's hand and then yell at one of the QB's.

JJ: Roy, welcome to Big D. Glad to have you here.

RW: Welcome to Big D? I don't know what you mean. Every time I take a shower I look down and see Big D. Drop by the clubhouse if you want to know what I mean.

JJ: Jeez, you're going to fit in just fine......

If you dont win us a Super Bowl...Your a dead man Roy.

JJ: Welcome to our team. Can I get you anything?

RW: No sir, but I gotta say I had no idea YOU owned the Cowboys. Can you show me which way the Grotto is?

Jerry: "Oh, Roy it's you. You scared the shit out of me. Seeing that jersey, I thought Danny White was back."

Roy: Happy to be in Dalton, Mr. Jerkins.
JJ: It's Jones and we're the Dallas Romos, but who's countin'? You went to Arkansas right? No? Who the f*** said you could be here?

Nice to see you again, Drew. Did you fall asleep on the tanning bed?

Welcome to the Desperados!