The Pam Ward Chronicles: Week Seven

Saturday, October 11, 2008


Hiya, folks. S2N here, filling in on the Chronicles. Today's early start is with Brent Musburger for the Red River Shootout, and Pammy won't be on until the nooners. Also, this week brings the CBS second team of Craig Bolerjack and Steve Beurlein on Tennessee-UGA this afternoon.

College Football Announcing Schedule: Week Seven


Let's get to it, and as Brent says:

"Let the good times roll."

"Caught by Decker and he got decked." - Dave Pasch (via Interplace55)

"Former baseball player, shows how he can make that diving catch in center field." - Kirk Herbstreit, after a Texas wideout makes a nice diving catch.

"I had a [corny-dog] eating contest with our producer Bob Goodrich, and it was 12 to 14." - Brent Musburger, referencing the Texas State Fair

"Rather than having a first down inside the 20, it'll be 1st & 10 at the 39." - Wayne Larrivee after an Iowa personal foul was assessed for 15 yards from the Indiana 23 (via Senor Loco)

"Dantley pulled out a littler early." - Larry Coker (via Jameson)

"Is this where you start your rant?" - Rod Gilmore
"Receivers that run patterns need to find the first down marker." - Joe Tessitore

"Ypsilanti (home of Eastern Michigan) is right next to Ann Arbor, and except for the stadium and the team it's the exact same place." - Charles Davis, intending to give Toledo some confidence against Michigan (via Anon)

A couple more gems like that from him and I'm breaking out the "The Greatness That Is Charles Davis" tag for this post.

"Bradford has the better numbers so far, but McCoy wins in the 'roommate' category." - Brent Musburger, referring to the fact that Texas' kick returner that scored last time is Colt McCoy's roommate.

"Clearly, Williams had gone out of bounds, was defenseless there...Hightower with the unnecessary hit, wouldn't you agree?" - Dave Pasch
"Well, you don't know if the guy is going to turn up the field." - Andre Ware (via Anon)

"What a beautiful day." - Brent Musburger, during a shot of some OU cheerleaders

"Toledo's not a bad football team." - Doug Flutie, on the 1-4 Rockets (via Rick James Bible Owner)

"Nice teamwork by OU there." Wendi Nix on a highlight of OU's second TD, which was more of a lucky bounce (via JG)

"They're operating with almost one hand tied behind their back in the red zone against this OU defense." - Kirk Herbstreit, ignoring that Texas had already scored 20 points -- they added another touchdown a play later.

"And Plain White Ts bring us into the second half here at Lawrence." - Joe Tessitore
"Are they the ones who did the "Delilah"? - Rod Gilmore

Brilliance.

"And it's the Big Guy, Loadholt, picking up the fumble. They're gonna drill him on that in the film room this week." Brent
"Just fall on it, Big Fella!" - Herbie

Nothing funnier than a giant O-lineman recovering a fumble.

"Bob Stoops lives by the sword, dies by the sword." - Herbie, dipping into the cliche handbook after the failed OU fake punt, via JG, who asks: "What, no riverboat gambler/Beamerball reference?"

Riverboat gambler references are for Les Miles' 4th down calls in LSU games, sir.

"McCoy just fell down. That's like soccer, where they fall down! What is this?" - Herbie
"Best officials: Texas assistant coaches." - Brent, after a late hit OB call on OU

"Brent, we're gonna have to get rid of yellow flags and get yellow cards for some of the acting we've seen out here today." - Herbie, on what was pretty much a BS roughing the kicker call on Texas (the latest in a series of crap calls, most have gone against OU)

"If you want to be a top official, you've gotta stay in shape." - Brent, on the ref in Texas-OU, whom, as a couple commenters have noted, seems to be in on the Eddie Guns Hochuli workout plan (and given the flags, about as crappy calling a game as Eddie's been this year)

"I've seen interceptions that aren't, I've seen juggles for touchdowns, I've seen juggles for two point conversions....oh, you'll be right back, won't you?" - Brent

Oof.

"Here's a question, Kirk: were those pigs wearing lipstick?" - Brent, as we get a shot of pigs in cages, ready to race.

"That's a big rivalry block right there." - Herbie, after Quan Cosby lays out an OU defender (via SSReporters)

"The young field back pulls out." - Quint Kessenich (via Bazooka Jones)

I think that's a Full Back, and he must know that that's the most reliable form of contraception. - Bazooka Jones

+1.

"Is it [the game] taking your mind off the economy, folks?" - Brent


Not a quote update, but just a note: MICHIGAN JUST LOST TO A MAC TEAM FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER. And Toledo's not even a good MAC team. So, RichRod's got that going for him.
---------------

All right, 3:30 Eastern shift - Tennessee/UGA, ASU/USC, ND/UNC, MSU/Northwestern (Pammy!), and Nebraska/Texas Tech on TV in my area.

"This isn't your Grandma's Vandy." - Tim Brando (via SSReporters)

Bolerjack and Beuerlein haven't said anything too dumb yet. Anyone monitoring Nessler, Griese, and Maguire on ND/UNC? ESPN magically switched to Purdue/OSU in my area.

"Finally, when they get that push, he likes to get up in behind for a couple." - Ray Bentley

"The beauty pageant of one loss teams playing today, who will compete for the #1 spot as they go down the runway in this flawed BCS system?" - Tim Brando (via SSReporters)

"He changed the position of LB." - Paul Maguire stating the obvious about Lawrence Taylor, following the inevitable reference to Taylor (via JG)

"Some of that might be Casey Clausen's cadence." - Brad Nessler referring to Jimmy Clausen drawing an offsides on UNC (via Anon)

"Walker from 41 not going to make this one either...Yes he is." - Nessler, via Anon

"That's a move I'd have hurt myself trying to do." - Steve Beuerlein, after Knowshown Moreno almost spins his way out of a tackle.

"David, are you in the background?" - Terry Gannon, as they show a shot of the USC Song Girls
"They kicked me out!" - David Norrie (via Anon)

Playing for UCLA back in the day might have something to do with that too, David.

"Carroll tries to keep his team in the church of the here and the now." - David Norrie talking about Pete Carroll trying to keep his team focused (via JG)

"Being down one TD, it's a good decision to punt." - Steve Beuerlein after Tenn punts, with UGA leading 13-0 (via JG)

"They are selling some of the land up by the Hollywood sign. You know the parties we can have?" - Gannon
"You’re just using this job as a stepping stone for the movies. You’re going to be acting." - Norrie
"Next lifetime." - Gannon (via Anon)

"He's going to have the duck on." - Paul Maguire in response to Nessler and Greise talking about David Letterman mentioning his alma mater's (Ball State) recent success this year. (Via Anon)

"I feel bad for Massaquoi on that hit, but that's football." - Steve Beuerlein, on a hit that got flagged for helmet contact that didn't seem to exist.

"(North Carolina mascot) Ramses had a hard night, I guess. Looks like what Paul looked like this morning when we got in the car to come to the stadium." - Nessler
"I bet his breath's better than mine!" - Maguire (via Chris in Tampa)

"I was going to pick Hopalong Cassidy." - Ron Franklin, noticing Ed Cunningham cheating on the trivia quiz for the second straight week.
"And Jack [Arute] was going to pick Gene Autry." - Ed Cunningham (via James Craven)

"The USC defense is throwing a shutout; the Dodgers could use one of those." - Terry Gannon

"You gotta be velcro on Crabtree." - Joel Meyers on Texas Tech WR Michael Crabtree, he was open for a 40 yd completion on 4th and 4.

(I'm taking a break for now, folks. Keep leaving good stuff and we'll collect it. I'll likely be back for the night games.)

OK...

"Minnesota is now bowl-eligible." - Rece Davis
"I picked them to be the team to show the most improvement; I knew this was coming." - Lou Holtz
"They were 1-11 last year. How could you know this?" - Mark May
"That's why I'm here, I got my crystal ball and it tells me, 'Minnesota will be better.'" - Holtz

"Mark is here to give the player's view; I'm here to provide the intelligent coach's view." - Lou Holtz

"He didn't go after you, did he Todd?" - Terry Gannon
"Nah, he didn't want any of this!" - Todd Harris (Via Anon)

"My man [Mark] Sanchez, does like Chase from Entourage." - Terry Gannon (Via Anon)

"My partner Steve Beurlein is breaking out in a hot rash." - Craig Bolerjack (via Fairplay)

"Red River Rivalry, say that 3 times!" - Terry Gannon
"I just say Red River Shootout." - David Norrie (via Anon)

"They're warming up their booze ... I mean boos not booze booze." - Paul Maguire (via Nuck)

"Every game we do, we have controversial calls." - Paul Maguire
"No we don't." - Bob Griese (via Anon)

"[Paterno] said, 'I can't sprint yet, but at least I'm still faster than [Todd] Blackledge." - Holly Rowe

"Colt McCoy's numbers are better than Vince Young's when he won the Heisman." - Lou Holtz (via Anon, who reminds us that VY never won the Heisman)

"The big news this week in Auburn was Tim Tuberville's decision to fire the offensive coordinator." - Verne Lundquist (via Fairplay).

His name is Tommy, Uncle Verne.

"It's also in the area where you go for it on 4th down." - Mike Patrick (via JFein)

Penn State kicked and made a field goal. Nice one, Coach Spears, er, Patrick. - JFein


"Wisconsin's last couple games have been heartbreakers. So far this is not a heartbreaker, this is just a whippin'" - Mike Patrick (via JFein)

That's not as good as his "Georgia is supplying the butt" comment from two weeks ago.

"Scoop it up, but I don't think he's gonna score." - Mark Jones
"He'd need a cab ride to get to the end zone." - Bob Davie, after a Mizzou DT weighing about 310 pounds picks up a Zac Robinson fumble.

"Beanie Wells hits the hole at 100 miles per hour" - Mark May (via JFein)

"This game had a lot of potential at the start. Potential is like popcorn in the microwave, some pop some don't." - Mark Jones (via JG]

SPECIAL TODD'S TASTE OF THE TOWN HILARITY:

"Cholesterol on its way..." - Mike Patrick promoting Todd's Taste of the Town segment (via JFein)

"The restaurant serves 500 lbs of fish every Friday night." - Todd Blackledge
"Did you have all 500 lbs?" (As Blackledge chuckles...) "Are you sure?" - Mike Patrick (via Smitty Lite)

"Deep fried cheese? Where are the vegetables?" - Mike Patrick, after Todd's Taste of the Town segment with deep fried fish and fried cheese curds
"We are in Wisconsin." - Todd Blackledge
"My God, you haven't eaten a vegetable in more than a year!" - Mike

"Have any cardiologists emailed you with concerns about your health?" - Mike Patrick

"I would only like it if it has fudge on it." - Mike Patrick. after they show a dish from another restaurant Todd went to last week that is nothing but calories (via Anon)

"The guys in blue and white are better than deep-fried cheese." - Mike Patrick (via JFein)

End segment hilarity. Good Lord, did we get mileage out of that this week.

"Les Miles said his front seven was 'so-so.' He really wanted to use a locker room term you can't say on TV." - Gary Danielson

"An impressive opening thrust by the LSU Tigers here." - Verne Lundquist

"College football is a beauty pageant. This is the talent portion." - Mark Jones discussing Mizzou's possible rise to # 1 (via JG)

"Darry Beckworth, number 48, on the tackle." - Verne Lundquist, as we get a look at the jersey reading "Beckwith."

"I don't think there's a team in America that plays with more poise than this one under Les Miles." - Gary Danielson, via Anon, as LSU is whistled for delay of game on a kickoff.

"College Football Prime Time here on ESPN...excuse me, I'm going to sneeze. (Sneezes.) My apologies. (Sneezes again.) Isn't television great?" - Mike Patrick
"You're a man of your word." - Todd Blackledge

"Looks like Boone Pickens' money for athletic facilites is starting to pay off." - Gary Danielson, after an update of OK State/Mizzou highlights.
"He's one of the few who's got any money left!" - Verne Lundquist

"When you wear shoes like that, you'd better be a good kicker." - Bob Davie, on the OK State kicker's gold shoes.
"Part of the T. Boone Pickens ceollection, huh?" - Mark Jones

"There's no name on the back [of the Penn State uniform], which as an announcer I hate. I'm certainly not going to suggest that they change it, though." - Mike Patrick (via JFein, who's pretty sure that constitutes suggesting it)

Posted by Signal to Noise at 12:00 PM

170 Comments:

Not a quote per se but Lee Corso just shot ofs an Oklahoma gun on College Gameday.

Señor Loco said...
Oct 11, 2008, 12:05:00 PM  

Saw that. Didn't know ESPN advocated the old and senile handling weapons in a crowded stadium.

Signal to Noise said...
Oct 11, 2008, 12:10:00 PM  

^^^ lol I was just about to mention that too. That was hilarious that Corso did that and you could tell Fowler and Herbstreit both looked surprised lol

Mark B said...
Oct 11, 2008, 12:11:00 PM  

I saw that too. AA, you have to include that video of Corso shooting off that musket on Gameday. That was hilarious.

Anonymous said...
Oct 11, 2008, 12:11:00 PM  

"Caught by Decker and he got decked"Dave Pasch

InterPlace55 said...
Oct 11, 2008, 12:12:00 PM  

Anon - hopefully AA had his TiVo working today and that will be up at some point this weekend.

Signal to Noise said...
Oct 11, 2008, 12:13:00 PM  

What's up with the audio for the UT-OK game?

JFreak said...
Oct 11, 2008, 12:25:00 PM  

"Rather than having a first down inside the 20, it'll be 1st & 10 at the 39." Wayne Larrivee after an Iowa personal foul was assessed for 15 yards from the Indiana 23.

(sidenote: Iowa scored two plays later)

Señor Loco said...
Oct 11, 2008, 12:31:00 PM  

Syracuse-WVU Game

Coker: "Dantley pulled out a littler early."

Jameson said...
Oct 11, 2008, 12:35:00 PM  

Damn, Lisa Salters was looking pretty hot there.

Anonymous said...
Oct 11, 2008, 12:38:00 PM  

Note: switched to CU-Kansas for a sec. I think I just saw Mark Mangino in blue-and-red velour. Will try to confirm with the next shot of the coach.

Signal to Noise said...
Oct 11, 2008, 12:39:00 PM  

Andre Ware failing 3rd grade science by talking about Benn's shadow which was in front of him, and saying the sun is in his eyes, when as everyone knows if you shadow is in front of you, the sun is behind you....

Anonymous said...
Oct 11, 2008, 12:40:00 PM  

Charles Davis in the Toledo-Michigan game:

Ypsilanti (home of Eastern Michigan) is right next to Ann Arbor, and except for the stadium and the team it's the exact same place.

Apparently that was meant to give the Rockets some confidence going into today's game with the Maize and Blue.

Anonymous said...
Oct 11, 2008, 12:43:00 PM  

Dave Pasch: Clearly, Williams had gone out of bounds, was defenseless there...Hightower with the unnecessary hit, wouldn't you agree?
Andre Ware: Well, you don't know if the guy is going to turn up the field...

How can you turn up the field if you go out of bounds?

Anonymous said...
Oct 11, 2008, 1:00:00 PM  

"end zone ahead"

god i hate musburger

chuck said...
Oct 11, 2008, 1:02:00 PM  

I am convinced that Musberger only puts his football enthusiasm is for Big Ten games.


Other than that he really couldn't give a crap for any other game.

ssreporters said...
Oct 11, 2008, 1:11:00 PM  

"What a beautiful day" - Musberger,
I dont know if he was talking about the weather, but the camera shot was of OU cheerleaders.

jg said...
Oct 11, 2008, 1:11:00 PM  

On a soccer related note, England are struggling with Kazakhstan, and are being held 0-0 at halftime in Wembley.


And on another side note, Fox Soccer Channel should just give up and go to the international feed with Martin Tyler instead of the painfully boring Nick Webster and Warren Barton.

ssreporters said...
Oct 11, 2008, 1:14:00 PM  

I cannot stand Kirk "Best in the Country" Herbstreit.


That is all.

ssreporters said...
Oct 11, 2008, 1:18:00 PM  

Oklahoma doesnt take a back seat to anybody" - Herbstreit

That is usually the case when you're number one.

jg said...
Oct 11, 2008, 1:21:00 PM  

Is Herbstreit paid by the word ?

Please shut up, or go work for BTN, so I dont have to put up with you anymore

jg said...
Oct 11, 2008, 1:26:00 PM  

JG - this is too much Herbie too early in the morning. It's easier to tolerate at night when you're already a few weeks in.

Signal to Noise said...
Oct 11, 2008, 1:31:00 PM  

2-0 England now......the world is right again.


Red River Shootout is a shootout.....I love Big XII football.

ssreporters said...
Oct 11, 2008, 1:39:00 PM  

"Wasn't a lot of quality in the first half, it was too long, it was too deep." - Warren Barton in the England/Kazakhstan game.

ssreporters said...
Oct 11, 2008, 1:40:00 PM  

S2N

The first half is why I rarely watch the games he does.

jg said...
Oct 11, 2008, 1:40:00 PM  

Oh my, horrible backpass by Ashley Cole, and Kazakhstan have scored! 2-1 England? Stunning.

ssreporters said...
Oct 11, 2008, 1:41:00 PM  

"few weeks in?"

I meant "a few drinks in."

Signal to Noise said...
Oct 11, 2008, 1:41:00 PM  

SS: Borat says "Is nice!"

Signal to Noise said...
Oct 11, 2008, 1:42:00 PM  

Andre Ware is insane. He keeps calling Arrelious Benn Regis or Aregis Benn.

Bu7ch said...
Oct 11, 2008, 1:42:00 PM  

They're booing Ashley Cole every time he touches the ball now.


"THE CHELSKI BOY COCKS-UP!" should be a chant whenever I watch an England game now. ;-)

ssreporters said...
Oct 11, 2008, 1:46:00 PM  

Doug Flutie: "Toledo's not a bad football team."

Yeah, they're the best damn 1-4 football team in America.

/sorry; bitter Michigan fan

Oct 11, 2008, 1:49:00 PM  

ROONEY!!! 3-1 England, so 2 Man United players score (Rio Ferdinand got the other and the 3rd goal was an own goal), and with 13 minutes left it's game over likely.


Crap, Beckham is coming in the game.

ssreporters said...
Oct 11, 2008, 1:50:00 PM  

@ RJBO, Appalachian State is not a bad football team. ;-)

ssreporters said...
Oct 11, 2008, 1:51:00 PM  

SU-WVU game: Syracuse radio announcer: that is a disastrous muff!

Anonymous said...
Oct 11, 2008, 1:57:00 PM  

"Number one Oklahoma is ranked number one." - Corso on Gameday.

Just getting online now, surprised I didn't see that. Great insight, Corso.

Anonymous said...
Oct 11, 2008, 2:02:00 PM  

5-1 England now.....Defoe and Rooney each with a goal since I last posted.

ssreporters said...
Oct 11, 2008, 2:03:00 PM  

"Nice teamwork by OU there." Wendi Nix on a highlight of OU's second TD, no it was a lucky bounce.

"Speaking of back on track, tonight on ABC Chase for the cup. Nice seguay if I say so myself." -Nix again

I'll forgive it because she's hot.

jg said...
Oct 11, 2008, 2:04:00 PM  

I cannot stand Wendy Nix with football, she should stick to following Favre.

ssreporters said...
Oct 11, 2008, 2:08:00 PM  

No one cares about soccer.

Anonymous said...
Oct 11, 2008, 2:09:00 PM  

@ Anon, yeah you're right, it's not like it's the most popular sport in the world....

ssreporters said...
Oct 11, 2008, 2:10:00 PM  

i jacked off and cum on all of your mothers tittys.

Anonymous said...
Oct 11, 2008, 2:13:00 PM  

Texas has trailed the entire game, I'm confused by that graphic.

ssreporters said...
Oct 11, 2008, 2:13:00 PM  

"Gutty performance by Texas against
talented Oklahoma." - Musberger

Yea, the # 5 team in the nation has no talent.

jg said...
Oct 11, 2008, 2:24:00 PM  

"Bob Stoops lives by the sword, dies by the sword." - Herbstreit dipping into the cliche handbook.

What no Riverboat gambler / Beamerball reference ?

jg said...
Oct 11, 2008, 2:31:00 PM  

Nice soccer reference Herbstreit........whatever.

ssreporters said...
Oct 11, 2008, 2:31:00 PM  

what brilliance from Musberger and Herbstreit. Replays even showed both officials ruling an incomplete pass. but the two dingbats and too busy trying to be funny and agreeing with each other on things not related to the game that they couldn't figure out Texas still had the ball and was taking the lead. brilliant.

Anonymous said...
Oct 11, 2008, 2:35:00 PM  

Toledo is beating Michigan, so it's time to laugh at AA.

ssreporters said...
Oct 11, 2008, 2:35:00 PM  

Apparently, The refs at OU-Texas went to the Ed Hochuli school this week.

jg said...
Oct 11, 2008, 2:36:00 PM  

Why is Oklahoma running the football?

ssreporters said...
Oct 11, 2008, 2:38:00 PM  

That was a makeup call right there, on the OU punter

jg said...
Oct 11, 2008, 2:47:00 PM  

Hey have you guys seen this new awesome Nike commercial...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jlXRengzZoc

Ted said...
Oct 11, 2008, 2:47:00 PM  

The official in the Texas-OU game looks to have joined the Ed Hoculi workout program.

Anonymous said...
Oct 11, 2008, 2:51:00 PM  

Brent, the ball is not placed on the 3 yard line on the PAT, it's the 2 yard line.

ssreporters said...
Oct 11, 2008, 2:53:00 PM  

"Free play for OU on 2nd and 9" - Musberger.

First Texas had the ball, and there was no penalty at the start of the play

jg said...
Oct 11, 2008, 3:02:00 PM  

A 2-for-1 by Quint Kessenich,
"The young field back pulls out."

I think that's a Full Back, and he must know that that's the most reliable form of contraception.

Bazooka Jones said...
Oct 11, 2008, 3:04:00 PM  

"That's a big rivalry block right there." - Kirk Herbstreit


And he also said BOOM!

ssreporters said...
Oct 11, 2008, 3:05:00 PM  

The only time Keith Jackson appears is during a commercial.

Not good.

jg said...
Oct 11, 2008, 3:17:00 PM  

Yeah, they're the best damn 2-4 football team in America.

The only thing more tortuous than watching Michigan lose was watching the Big 10 Network screw up the downs & distances the last 2 minutes of the game.

Oct 11, 2008, 3:22:00 PM  

The OU-Texas game feels like a
1980's Chargers game. Last team to score wins

jg said...
Oct 11, 2008, 3:24:00 PM  

I could honestly kill someone right now, living in Pittsburgh. I've been watching the Red River game on my choppy ESPN360 feed since Cincinnati/Rutgers as deemed more important to the area. Usually when this happens they put the big game on another affiliate, but not this time.

Rutgers/Cincy ended before three, so I thought hey, they'll take us live to OU/Texas. Instead, I've been subjected to a half hour postgame where they have interviewed pretty much literally everyone. I think the stadium scoreboard operator is next.

What a fucking joke.

Anonymous said...
Oct 11, 2008, 3:25:00 PM  

Well Oklahoma's out of the title game now as they choke again.


Can we just pencil in the SEC team to win it yet?

ssreporters said...
Oct 11, 2008, 3:30:00 PM  

Michigan-Toledo game...Anyone catch the Thom Brennaman quote after McGuffie got lit up? He said something along the lines of McGuffie was walking like an alumni last week during Homecoming.

Anonymous said...
Oct 11, 2008, 3:30:00 PM  

How am I supposed to enjoy watching tennessee lose again when their game isn't even in HD?

Anonymous said...
Oct 11, 2008, 3:35:00 PM  

Are kidding me ? Notre Dame belongs in the top 25 if they beat UNC. Brent and Kirk are on drugs.

jg said...
Oct 11, 2008, 3:37:00 PM  

Just an NFL breaking news report:


Jim Nantz and Phil Simms will call the Chargers/Saints in London.

ssreporters said...
Oct 11, 2008, 3:40:00 PM  

SSR 3:40

Theres an incentive to go see the game in person

jg said...
Oct 11, 2008, 3:43:00 PM  

I posted this on The506, with the economic crisis and CBS not having their men travel even to San Antonio for the Final Four, would CBS actually have the audacity to have Nantz and Simms call the game from CBS Studios off a television monitor?

ssreporters said...
Oct 11, 2008, 3:46:00 PM  

Bob Cousy has also been dropped from the Celtics broadcast.


"This isn't your Grandma's Vandy." - Tim Brando

ssreporters said...
Oct 11, 2008, 3:48:00 PM  

woah S2N you're getting ASU-USC and ND-UNC? enlighten me on how to do this please

Anonymous said...
Oct 11, 2008, 3:50:00 PM  

Could someone tell me who I should yell at about having Purdue-OSU on both ABC and ESPN?

God damn it, let me watch Notre Dame.

JFreak said...
Oct 11, 2008, 3:50:00 PM  
This comment has been removed by the author.
JFreak said...
Oct 11, 2008, 3:57:00 PM  

Either your ABC affiliate or your cable company.

Be thankful you didn't live in Pittsburgh, Biloxi or Charleston, WV. they didn't carry Texas-Oklahoma, and were forced to see it on pay-per-view. The PDs in those cities are real douchenozzles.

JamesCraven said...
Oct 11, 2008, 3:57:00 PM  

anon -- apparently it was an error, it went from ND/UNC on both channels to ASU/USC on ABC and ND/UNC on ESPN, and then ESPN switched it to Purdue/OSU.

Weird. So, no ND schadenfreude for me today.

Signal to Noise said...
Oct 11, 2008, 3:58:00 PM  

"The beauty pageant of one loss teams playing today, who will compete for the #1 spot as they go down the runway in this flawed BCS system?" - Tim Brando

ssreporters said...
Oct 11, 2008, 3:58:00 PM  

"Singleheader action tomorrow on CBS" - Bolerjack plugging CBS's NFL
games

"The beauty peagant of one loss teams begins" - Tim Brando

jg said...
Oct 11, 2008, 4:00:00 PM  

Hey james, don't shortchange the Pittsburgh ABC. They cut to Texas/OU at 45-35 with 1:10 to play and the game over, after a thirty minute Cincinnati/Rutgers postgame show!

Anonymous said...
Oct 11, 2008, 4:02:00 PM  

This is how it should be on ABC and ESPN.

If you have ASU-USC or ND-NC on ABC, you are supposed to get Purdue-OSU on ESPN. If you have Purdue-OSU on ABC, then you are supposed to get ND-NC on ESPN.

Anonymous said...
Oct 11, 2008, 4:06:00 PM  

Why is OSU/purdue on espn on the west coast over ND/UNC? that makes no sense

Anonymous said...
Oct 11, 2008, 4:11:00 PM  

"He changed the position of LB" - Maguire stating the obvious about Lawrence Taylor, following the inevitable reference to Taylor.

jg said...
Oct 11, 2008, 4:14:00 PM  

ABC's television contract requires that all Big Ten Saturday afternoon games are to be nationally televised. So Big Ten have to be shown everywhere on ABC or shown on one of the ESPN networks in areas not getting it on ABC.

Anonymous said...
Oct 11, 2008, 4:15:00 PM  

"Some of that might be Casey Clausen's cadence"
-Nessler referring to Jimmy Clausen drawing an offsides on UNC

Anonymous said...
Oct 11, 2008, 4:16:00 PM  

What is this crap with Maguire commentating from the sideline?

JFreak said...
Oct 11, 2008, 4:20:00 PM  

Nessler jumping the gun on the field goal. "Walker from 41 not going to make this one either...Yes he is"

Anonymous said...
Oct 11, 2008, 4:22:00 PM  

ABC shows sorority girls from USC from earlier in the day.
Terry Gannon, "David, are you in the background?"
David Norrie, "They kicked me out!"

Anonymous said...
Oct 11, 2008, 4:24:00 PM  

Maguire is awful anyways. They should leave him down there on the sidelines. He hates the Irish.

Anonymous said...
Oct 11, 2008, 4:25:00 PM  

"Carroll tries to keep his team in the church of the here and the now." - David Norrie talking about Pete Carroll trying to keep his team focused

jg said...
Oct 11, 2008, 4:29:00 PM  

well if espn/abc is forced to show all big ten games on tv then shouldnt have put the osu/purdue game on at 330/1230 to compete against ND.

Anonymous said...
Oct 11, 2008, 4:30:00 PM  

"Being down one TD, its good decision to punt." - Steve Beurlein after Tenn punts, with UGA leading 13-0

jg said...
Oct 11, 2008, 4:31:00 PM  

Dennis Erickson is wearing a maroon and yellow polo from the 80's.

Anonymous said...
Oct 11, 2008, 4:33:00 PM  

Terry Gannon, “They are selling some of the land up by the Hollywood sign. You know the parties we can have?”
David Norrie “ You’re just using this job as a stepping stone for the movies. You’re going to be acting.”
Terry Gannon, “Next lifetime.”

Anonymous said...
Oct 11, 2008, 4:33:00 PM  

"You can see his knee down short of the end zone" - Mussburger. The only thing that matters is where the ball is when the knee is down. Might be a bad call, but not why Brent thinks.

"I guess the ground CAN cause a fumble, in the end zone" - Brent again, clueless again, this time on a no-interception call in the end zone. Not at all the same criteria as a fumble. Once again, possibly a bad call, but Brent has no idea why.

Anonymous said...
Oct 11, 2008, 4:37:00 PM  

"He's going to have the duck on"

Paul Maguire in response to Nessler and Greise talking about David Letterman mentioning his alma mater's recent success this year.

Anonymous said...
Oct 11, 2008, 4:38:00 PM  

Vince Vance? Put that down under funny name.

ssreporters said...
Oct 11, 2008, 4:40:00 PM  

Yo, anonymous below jg: WTAE's programming department are still a bunch of fucking douchenozzles. If ABC had some balls, Rutgers-Cincinnati would have been on the Pittsburgh CW affiliate.

JamesCraven said...
Oct 11, 2008, 4:44:00 PM  

Ron Franklin (After seeing Ed Cunningham cheating on the trivia quiz during Purdue-Ohio State): I was going to pick Hopalong Cassidy.

Ed Cunningham: And Jack was going to pick Gene Autry.

Was anyone goping to choose Roy Rogers?

JamesCraven said...
Oct 11, 2008, 4:49:00 PM  

On Ohio-Kent State on FS Ohio:

The play-by-play announcer says, referring to Ohio running back Donte Harden:

"Not to be cliche about it, but Harden runs hard."

Actually, that would be a pun, so what he should have said was that there was no pun intended.

Anonymous said...
Oct 11, 2008, 4:53:00 PM  

James, that's two weeks in a row Cunningham's cheated on the quiz.

Signal to Noise said...
Oct 11, 2008, 4:54:00 PM  

I'm calling it right now, Notre Dame will be the new #1.

ssreporters said...
Oct 11, 2008, 4:59:00 PM  

Anybody know why they ring a bell at Texas Tech ? Nebraska had goal to go when they were doing it.

jg said...
Oct 11, 2008, 4:59:00 PM  

Nessler: (North Carolina mascot) Ramses had a hard night, I guess. Looks like what Paul looked like this morning when we got in the car to come to the stadium.

McGuire (chuckling): I bet his breath's better than mine!

Chris in Tampa said...
Oct 11, 2008, 4:59:00 PM  
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sean H said...
Oct 11, 2008, 5:01:00 PM  

"Jack" BTW in reference to Ed Cunningham's Gene Autry comment would be Jack Arute.

JamesCraven said...
Oct 11, 2008, 5:02:00 PM  

SSR

ND doesnt even belong in the Top 25, to quote Pat Forde that would be a laundry pick

jg said...
Oct 11, 2008, 5:02:00 PM  

@ jg


Thanks for recognizing a joke. ;-)

ssreporters said...
Oct 11, 2008, 5:08:00 PM  

SSR

I know it was a joke, but the pollsters are looking for any excuse to get ND ranked, then whatever they have to get them as high as possible

jg said...
Oct 11, 2008, 5:11:00 PM  

Fair enough jg.



Ouch, too many point being scored in an SEC game, 20-7...ow ow!

ssreporters said...
Oct 11, 2008, 5:14:00 PM  

Nebraska just completed a pass off a fake FG. The Texas Tech players were celebrating because the Nebraska player didnt get in the end zone. It wasnt goal to go, so the pass was good for a first down.
Nebraska scores on next play.

Nice of the Tech players to know`the situation.

jg said...
Oct 11, 2008, 5:30:00 PM  

"The defense is pitching a shutout. The Dodgers could use one of those." Terry Gannon on USC.

Anonymous said...
Oct 11, 2008, 5:31:00 PM  

"The defense is pitching a shutout. The Dodgers could use one of those" - Terry Gannon alienating Dodger fans

jg said...
Oct 11, 2008, 5:33:00 PM  

I knew Auburn's offense was bad, but 149th out of 119 ?

Nice proofreading CBS

jdg said...
Oct 11, 2008, 5:42:00 PM  

"Michael Jones has the best set of hands in the Pac-10." David Norrie.

I don't know what's worse: the creepy factor of talking about a guy's hands or that Michael Jones isn't among the best receivers in the Pac10.

Anonymous said...
Oct 11, 2008, 5:51:00 PM  

"you gotta be velcro on Crabtree"-
Joel Meyers On Texas Tech WR Michael Crabtree, he was open for a 40 yd completion on 4th and 4.

jg said...
Oct 11, 2008, 5:56:00 PM  

Terry Gannon, " He didn't go after you, did he Todd?"
Todd Harris(Sideline reporter), "Nah, he didn't want any of this!"

Anonymous said...
Oct 11, 2008, 6:03:00 PM  

"My man Sanchez, does like Chase from Entourage" Gannon.

And also this gem:
“It’s like catching a fly with chopsticks,” Norrie talking about USC RB Joe McKnight

Anonymous said...
Oct 11, 2008, 6:30:00 PM  

"My partner Steve Beurline is breaking out in a hot rash"

Craig Bolerjack

fairplay said...
Oct 11, 2008, 6:31:00 PM  

"Red River Rivalry, say that 3 times!" Gannon
"I just say Red River Shootout." Norrie

Anonymous said...
Oct 11, 2008, 6:33:00 PM  

"They're warming up their booze ... I mean boos not booze booze" - Paul Maguire

nuck said...
Oct 11, 2008, 6:54:00 PM  

They're warming up their boos... not boose, booing. Paul Maguire.

Anonymous said...
Oct 11, 2008, 6:54:00 PM  
This comment has been removed by the author.
Birdman said...
Oct 11, 2008, 6:55:00 PM  

"Every game we do we have controversial calls."
Paul Maguire

"No we don't."
Bob Griese

The tension is palpable.

Anonymous said...
Oct 11, 2008, 7:05:00 PM  

When will Griese and McGuire and Nessler realize that the other issue, if they don't overturn the play, is that the clock should've stopped to move the chains with 4 seconds left, not 1.

FINALLY, Griese gets it.

Anonymous said...
Oct 11, 2008, 7:06:00 PM  

Charlie Weis looks like he just ate some bad lard.

Anonymous said...
Oct 11, 2008, 7:09:00 PM  

"Colt McCoy's numbers are better than Vince Young's when he won the Heisman" -Lou Holtz (VY never won the Heisman)

Anonymous said...
Oct 11, 2008, 7:19:00 PM  

I forgot that Wisconsin gets to play host to Mike Patrick two weeks in a row. Does this mean that Todd Blackledge spent the entire week getting drunk in Madison?

Anonymous said...
Oct 11, 2008, 8:05:00 PM  

"It's also in the area where you go for it on 4th down." - Mike Patrick

Penn State kicked and made a field goal. Nice one, Coach Spears, er, Patrick

JFein said...
Oct 11, 2008, 8:19:00 PM  

Lou said the same thing (about Young winning the Heisman) during the "Interactive Tuesday" game. I can't believe no one at ESPN corrected him then.

Sandlapper Spike said...
Oct 11, 2008, 8:24:00 PM  

"The big news this week in Auburn was Tim Tuberville's decision to fire the offensive coordinator."

Verne Lundquist

geez Verne, you've been covering the SEC for at least 10 years you could at least now the head coache's name.

fairplay said...
Oct 11, 2008, 8:26:00 PM  

"know the head coach's name"

sorry for the spelling errors, the beers are kicking in.

fairplay said...
Oct 11, 2008, 8:28:00 PM  

"Well Rece, you can say holy Toledo for sure" - Mike Patrick to Rece Davis following an update

JFein said...
Oct 11, 2008, 8:33:00 PM  

"Penn State's been at midfield the whole game" - Mike Patrick
"You're right, they've haven't been able to move the ball at all except for that one field goal drive" - Holly Rowe

It appears that Holly Rowe trying out for a job in the booth. Maybe she could replace Pam Ward.

JFein said...
Oct 11, 2008, 8:37:00 PM  

"Wisconsin's last couple games have been heartbreakers. So far this is not a heartbreaker, this is just a whippin'" - Mike Patrick

JFein said...
Oct 11, 2008, 8:57:00 PM  
This comment has been removed by the author.
JFein said...
Oct 11, 2008, 8:57:00 PM  

I'm not a fan of either team..but how biased can an announcing crew be toward Flordida?

Anonymous said...
Oct 11, 2008, 9:03:00 PM  

anon - forgive Verne and Gary their raging Tebowners; it's part of what happens whenever CBS does a Gator game.

Signal to Noise said...
Oct 11, 2008, 9:10:00 PM  

Ref in PSU-Wiscy game: After review, the play on the stands, fields. Er, stands. Umm, touchdown.

Smitty Lite said...
Oct 11, 2008, 9:17:00 PM  

"The ball hit the ground, which by rule, is an incomplete pass."-Mike Patrick on a potential interception by a Penn State player, who was doing an incredible sell job on the play.

jp23 said...
Oct 11, 2008, 9:25:00 PM  

"Beanie Wells hits the hole at 100 miles per hour" - Mark May

JFein said...
Oct 11, 2008, 9:37:00 PM  

Ok, LSU just ran the hook and lateral. They are officially a Video game offense...

Smitty Lite said...
Oct 11, 2008, 9:42:00 PM  

"This game had a lot of potential a the start. Potential is like popcorn in the microwave, some pop some dont" - Marc Jones at the end of the first half of OK st / Mizzou

jg said...
Oct 11, 2008, 9:46:00 PM  

"Cholesterol on its way..." - Mike Patrick promoting Todd's Taste of the Town segment.

JFein said...
Oct 11, 2008, 10:08:00 PM  

Blackledge on Taste of the Town: The restaurant serves 500 lbs of fish every friday night. Patrick- "Did you have all 500 lbs?" (As Blackledge chuckles...) "Are you sure?"

Smitty Lite said...
Oct 11, 2008, 10:14:00 PM  
This comment has been removed by the author.
JFein said...
Oct 11, 2008, 10:17:00 PM  
This comment has been removed by the author.
JFein said...
Oct 11, 2008, 10:18:00 PM  

A goldmine on the taste of the town segment...

1. "Did you have all 500 lbs?" - Mike Patrick after Todd Blackledge described that they make 500 lbs of the fish.

2. "Deep fried cheese?!?!? Where are the vegetables?" - Mike Patrick
"They haven't seen vegetables in 2 years." - Todd Blackledge
They were laughing as they said that so I'm not sure if I heard that right...

3. "The guys in blue and white are better than deep-fried cheese." - Mike Patrick. If that one makes the list tomorrow, I'm voting for it!

JFein said...
Oct 11, 2008, 10:19:00 PM  

An impressive opening thrust by the LSU Tigers. Vern L.

Hank said...
Oct 11, 2008, 10:19:00 PM  

"College football is a beauty pageant. This is the talent portion." - Mark Jones discussing Mizzou's possible rise to # 1. They might want to worry about beating OK St first

jg said...
Oct 11, 2008, 10:20:00 PM  

Patrick on Todd's Taste of the Town: "Deep-fried cheese? Where's the vegetable? We haven't seen a vegetable in two years!"

Then after talking about how Todd went back to the place he went last week, Patrick and Blackledge talk about a meal which is essentially a plate of calories; Blackledge tells Patrick he would love it, and Patrick replies, "I would only like it if it has fudge on it."

Anonymous said...
Oct 11, 2008, 10:23:00 PM  

Yeah, that entire Taste of the Town segment was weird. Although a goldmine for us...

Smitty Lite said...
Oct 11, 2008, 10:25:00 PM  

LSU's kickoff is whistled dead, and it's a delay of game. ON A KICKOFF.

Immediately, Gary says, "I don't think there's a team in America that plays with more poise than this one under Les Miles."

Not sarcastically, either: he's talking about their return from being down 20-0. But, c'mon, THAT timing?

Andy said...
Oct 11, 2008, 10:25:00 PM  

Turn onto TNT, the Suns and Nuggets are playing an outdoor basketball game and Charles Barkley is an announcer. So far, everything he has said is worthy of Awful Announcing.

Anonymous said...
Oct 11, 2008, 10:34:00 PM  

Good Lord, Anon. There's too much crap going on today.

Signal to Noise said...
Oct 11, 2008, 10:38:00 PM  

Curse the fact there's tooo much on tonight. I missed the Mike Patrick sneeze. Damn it!

JFein said...
Oct 11, 2008, 10:51:00 PM  

So EA is talking about how Chase Daniels got in touch with Tebow and Sanchez and Stafford after they lost to see what they had to say.

Is there some sort of athlete phonebook out there? Is it some sort of super-secret thing? How do they all know each other's numbers? What am i missing?

Smitty Lite said...
Oct 11, 2008, 10:53:00 PM  

The Penn State-Wisconsin game has gotten so one-sided that Mike and Todd are reduced to talking about uniforms. For 5 minutes.

JFein said...
Oct 11, 2008, 10:59:00 PM  

"Major insurrection, major uprising
here tonight" - Mark Jones OK St leading Mizzou 21-17 with 6:40 left in 4th.

Just wondering when did one ranked team beating another ranked team become such a big deal ?

jg said...
Oct 11, 2008, 10:59:00 PM  

Smitty

Daniel probably got Tebow's from EA.

All the coaches seem to know each other also, plus Daniel was at the Heisman ceremony last year

jg said...
Oct 11, 2008, 11:03:00 PM  

"There's no name on the back [of the Penn State uniform], which as an announcer I hate. I'm certainly not going to suggest that they change it, though." - Mike Patrick

I think he just did indirectly suggest it...

JFein said...
Oct 11, 2008, 11:04:00 PM  

"They are going for it out of desparation, not plan." - Danielson
on LSU going for it trailing 41-14
in the 4th.

Mizzou trailing 28-17 5:00 left in 4th.

jg said...
Oct 11, 2008, 11:08:00 PM  

Danielson: "There's the wedge-buster"
Verne: "Did you ever do that?"
Danielson: "No"
Verne: "Did you ever ask to do that?"
Danielson: (giggling)"No...no. I was a pretty boy."

Anonymous said...
Oct 11, 2008, 11:28:00 PM  

Bob Davie shows he doesn't still understand the new 40 second rule. OSU runs a play and he's talking about how long it takes for the ref to spot the ball (thinking the play clock starts after that), while the 40 second clock starts as soon as the play finishes. Then when they show the play clock already counted almost 10 seconds down as they spot the ball, he cuts off that line of thought and just says "uh, 10 second differential".

Anonymous said...
Oct 11, 2008, 11:30:00 PM  

"I live on Pac 10.org" Petros Papadakis
"I spend a lot of time there, we should meet." Barry Tomkins
"Virtual Barry and Virtual me shaking hands on Pac 10. org" Petros Papadakis

Anonymous said...
Oct 11, 2008, 11:50:00 PM  

Baseball Bonus:

"Gets him out in front on that front foot, and he's gone, way out in front." -Buck Martinez

Just a hunch, but I don't think he was late on that one.

Bazooka Jones said...
Oct 12, 2008, 12:10:00 AM  

To answer Smitty's question earlier-- A lot of times the Sports Info person for the team will be asked to find those kinds of things out for players.

Bazooka Jones said...
Oct 12, 2008, 12:13:00 AM  

"You hear the silence in Autzen Stadium, which is like music to the visiting team. It is like singing of the sirens of the Egenian Sea." Petros Papadakis

Anonymous said...
Oct 12, 2008, 12:38:00 AM  

Is it just my TV or did I just see Ron Darling wearing a sparkling tie?

JFein said...
Oct 12, 2008, 1:05:00 AM  

lou is just going nuts right now...lol..what the hell is he sayin

Yoyo said...
Oct 12, 2008, 1:08:00 AM  

Chip Caray signed off by saying "Good morning everybody". And while the game did end at 1:35 am, I've never seen or heard anyone say farewell by saying good morning....

JFein said...
Oct 12, 2008, 1:42:00 AM  

Here is one from Thursday that you guys might have missed

Chris Fowler:

"That's why they bring Zimmerman in: He's the higher of the two punters"

Big Ern said...
Oct 12, 2008, 10:31:00 AM  

Mentioned this in another thread, but yeah. On College Gameday Final, Lou Holtz went nuts on Reece/May during the Courtroom thing arguing for Tebow. Was great stuff.

Anonymous said...
Oct 12, 2008, 2:41:00 PM  

From yesterday's Michigan/Toledo game (paraphrasing):

"And on coverage is... Barbaro Cissoko" -- Thom Brennaman BADLY mispronouncing Michigan CB Boubacar (BOO-bah-car) Cissoko's name.

MonkeyWrench32 said...
Oct 12, 2008, 4:29:00 PM  

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