Create The Caption #337

Thursday, January 15, 2009

(Usually) Everyday I'll throw out a photo, you provide the caption, and then hilarity ensues. I'm also adding a handful of links at the bottom of the page that you should check out each day.

Yesterday's Winners....

"You suck worse than The Benefactor."- Big Face

"Man, now I'll NEVER make it into Barkley's Fave 5!"- Anon

"At least Robin Ficker would heckle the opposing teams bench. This guy won't leave us alone!- Sean H.

Josh Howard to Cuban "You know, you need to relax. I've got something in my duffel bag that will really mellow you out."- Jesse

Are you funny enough to create a caption for this photo of Plaxico Burress being checked through by security personnel as he arrives at the Lebanon County Courthouse?

Daily Links:

Charles Barkley Finally Got What He Was Looking For (The Onion)
Stephen Curry Talked To A Blogger (Daily Duckets)
Will T.O. Cry Soon? (Five Tool Tool)
A Song For Jodie Meeks (Ryan Parker Songs)
Dad Gives Son Steroids (The Big Picture)
An Interview With PA Governor Ed Rendell (On The DL)
Can The Steeeeers Beat The Ravens? (Fox Sports)
Welcome To Dominos Pizza Field (E True Sports)
Rickey Still Thinks Rickey Can Play Baseball (NY Post)

Posted by Awful Announcing at 12:31 PM


Oh - you play football - no need to scan you...right...Cavity Search on 17 here!

Nuk said...
Jan 15, 2009, 12:42:00 PM  
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jan 15, 2009, 12:55:00 PM  

Plaxico: It's OK sir. I'm just here for the Mark Cuban, proceeding.

Adam said...
Jan 15, 2009, 12:58:00 PM  

Is that blood on your pants, or are you just happy to see me?

Adam said...
Jan 15, 2009, 12:59:00 PM  

I'm with the *cough*Jason*cough* Garrett company. Please hand over all playbooks and metal.

Adam said...
Jan 15, 2009, 1:00:00 PM  

I was not aware that they made dress pants with elastic waistbands... I guess you learn something new every day.

foos said...
Jan 15, 2009, 1:00:00 PM  

Plaxico to security guy: So then my buddy says to me "Hey dude, lower your gun. That's Michael Irvin!"

Adam said...
Jan 15, 2009, 1:02:00 PM  

Security guard: You're not missing practice for this, are you?...Psyche!

Adam said...
Jan 15, 2009, 1:07:00 PM  

Plaxico: Yo, I know I broke the law in New York and all, but isn't it a bit cruel and unusual that I'm being tried in Beirut, Lebanon?
Security Guard: No, Plax, this is for another case. And we're in Lebanon, PA, not the country.
Plaxico: I just figured that because I pulled a gun on Michael Irvin, that they wanted something really cruel for me...

JFein said...
Jan 15, 2009, 1:08:00 PM  

I can't wait to be in The Longest Yard 3 playing against the guards....

SSReporters said...
Jan 15, 2009, 1:10:00 PM  

"Hey Plax... don't shoot! Ha, just kidding, I know you only shoot yourself. Have fun, you crazy bastard."

dsnice27 said...
Jan 15, 2009, 1:13:00 PM  

Security Guard: Now, young man, let me tell you about my old pigskin days. By golly, in those days, we used to shoot ourselves accidently all the time! Why, back in 19-ought-6,our quarterback- Catclaws Johnson- shot himself in the neck with a Colt 45 one day. Straight in the Juglar, and consarnit! he was on the field the next day! And he threw 6 touchdown passes! Ran for half an acre! And kicked the extra points! Heavens to betsy! Why I remember...zzzzzzzzzzzz

Rex Banner said...
Jan 15, 2009, 1:19:00 PM  

Mr. Burress, I would frisk you but since you're not wearing sweatpants, I'll give you the benefit of the doubt.

GMoney said...
Jan 15, 2009, 1:22:00 PM  

maybe i can play on mike vick's team... hmmm..

Sal said...
Jan 15, 2009, 1:25:00 PM  

"So Plaxico let me tell you story about my days fighting in WWII. There was this french hooker....

49er16 said...
Jan 15, 2009, 1:35:00 PM  

(metal detector goes off)

Security guard: Sir, can you please open your jacket?

Plaxico: Sure.

(Finds gun, miraculously not fired)

Plaxico: I'm just holding that for my homeboy, Marvin.

Jan 15, 2009, 1:46:00 PM  

A security officer wands the newest edition of the Plaxico Burress wax figures, the Courtroom Attire edition.

Ted said...
Jan 15, 2009, 1:49:00 PM  


Dusto Magnifico said...
Jan 15, 2009, 2:04:00 PM  

Plaxico: Keep that wand away from me, that motha ****er possessed.

I'm just trying to help kids man, I'm trying to help the kids

Ben Chew AKA BC said...
Jan 15, 2009, 2:19:00 PM  

Oh, I see you've purchased a holster for your gun, very nice, very nice.

dwhit said...
Jan 15, 2009, 2:42:00 PM  

Security Guy: "Is that a gun or are you just happy to see me?"

Plax thought bubble: "And Ricardo Montalban got tired of people saying 'boss, zee plane, zee plane!,' well, he aint got nothing on me."

David said...
Jan 15, 2009, 2:49:00 PM  

That's as close as anyone from Philly has come to getting a hand on me.

da HOOK said...
Jan 15, 2009, 2:51:00 PM  

What? no sweat pants?

Benny said...
Jan 15, 2009, 3:10:00 PM  

Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just... oh, it is a gun?

Brian said...
Jan 15, 2009, 3:27:00 PM  

SECURITY: "You know, I have seen the best - Red Skeleton, George Carlin, Archie Bunker, that Cosby fellow - but I can truly say, Mr. Burress, that there has never been a more comedic moment in my life than right now."

Dan said...
Jan 15, 2009, 3:30:00 PM  

You know the economy is tough when the Emperor from Star Wars has to work court house security.

Mal said...
Jan 15, 2009, 3:30:00 PM  

Why does this thing keep beeping around your thigh?

The PayDirt said...
Jan 15, 2009, 3:32:00 PM  

Fellow bad shot Dick Cheney gets the privilege of frisking Plaxico Burress before his court session.

Adam said...
Jan 15, 2009, 4:04:00 PM  

Not pictured: Drew Rosenthal standing to the side of the camera saying "Next question, old man."

Adam said...
Jan 15, 2009, 4:05:00 PM  

Psst, any naked pictures of Eli's wife?

Adam said...
Jan 15, 2009, 4:08:00 PM  

Let me see some ID...wait, you mean your last name really isn't Berries?

Adam said...
Jan 15, 2009, 4:11:00 PM  

In light of the Eddy Curry allegations, we are now scanning all NYC athletes with our new "Gay-Dar" wand.

HM said...
Jan 15, 2009, 4:29:00 PM  

Don't feel bad son...until I started taking Flomax, I used to shoot myself in the leg 5 or 10 times a day.

Wade Robertson said...
Jan 15, 2009, 4:52:00 PM  

"Mr. Burress, I've seen a lot of crazy things in my time on this Earth. The invention of the wheel, the Great Depression, two World Wars, and heck, one time I even seen a Sasquatch. But you sir, you've done something special. Not only have you actually shown up for your court date, but you've done so with an all white entourage. My hat is off to you. Now spread 'em before I start gettin' ornery!"

Bacon said...
Jan 15, 2009, 6:23:00 PM  

Is that a gun in your pants or are you just happy to see me?

Go 'stangs! said...
Jan 15, 2009, 7:48:00 PM  

"You're dressed pretty nice for just coming from an Applebee's."

Ross said...
Jan 15, 2009, 8:34:00 PM  

Old Security dude: "What caused you to shoot yourself in the club?"
Plax: "Blame it on the Vodka
Blame it on the Henney
Blame it on the blue top; had me feeling dizzy
Blame it on the A-A-A-A-Alcohol
Blame it on the A-A-A-A-Alcohol"

Jan 15, 2009, 8:51:00 PM  

Why are you scanning me? I shot MYSELF, I would never shoot other people.

Jesse said...
Jan 16, 2009, 12:00:00 AM  

Plaxico Burress thinks he's going through security to attend a court date at the Lebanon County Courthouse. What he doesn't know is that Howie Mandel, dressed as a security guard, is about to convince Burress he's been selected to test a new medical device called the "Garrett Shocker" on his new show, "Howie Do It?"

MMayes said...
Jan 16, 2009, 12:55:00 AM  

"Just let me wand you real fast..." BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! "Whoa, right here... do you have something metalic in your leg??"

Graig Mansfield said...
Jan 16, 2009, 10:25:00 AM  

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