No - I'm not doing anything this week - why do you ask?

I've been told the benches in Tampa are extra comfy, so I'm looking forward to a great Sunday.

"Things I value most in women are let's see:

1.) underage
2.) looks
3.) ability to funnel."

What do you mean by "squandered college education"?

Sorry, what were you saying? Miss TV Azteca was on the ground over there.

Yeah, I'm really looking forward to the "parting the Red Sea" training with Kurt this offseason.

Leinart: "My philosophy is simple: Party like a rock star, play like a CFL All-Star and hammer like a broccoli stalk."

Leinart: I'm surprised that you are interviewing me instead of Kurt Warner. All I am is dust in the wind, soon to be an asterisk of this season, this franchise, and this league. Nobody likes me. Nobody cares about me. Now if you'll excuse me, I have some business to take care of...

Menounos: MATT!.....MATT!...... DON'T DO THAT!.....NNNNOOOOOOOO!!!!! Oh well, where's Kurt, I can get an interview with him.

Knowing that all his team needed was an overpaid underachiever with good looks, Matt Leinart sent Barry Zito to take his place at media day.

Would you like to go ballroom dancing with me?

So when Kurt told me they were looking for someone to be in 'Milk,' I got all excited and called my agent. But it was all a big misunderstanding because they were just talking about the drink, so I cancelled.

Leinart: I can't wait to get my hands on those Super Bowl clipboards. I hear they're made of soft Corinthian leather.

Figures the Entertaiment Show interviews Leinhart while the Christian network is interviewing Warner.

Do you know who I am? Good, lets go party at the hot tub.

Yes, it does burn when I pee. But the team doctors gave me some treatment and said it should clear up in 7-10 days.

Leinart: Haaaa that must have been the 10th "Do you have a tight end" question I have gotten today, Maria."

Coach said I have to shave if I want to play, so I'm not shaving. He an I don't get along all that well.

This is the lead-in to the Carson Palmer/Mary Hart interview.

Ooo, well, is it mine?

Sunday, Sunday...nope, I've got NOTHING going on. You like beer bongs?

Homina homina homina homina...

"WHEW! Uhhhhmmmmmmm, thats a tough one...36C?

Matt: Do you know if I can hear the commercials in my helmet speakers during the Super Bowl?

Yeah, they thought I learned my lesson about mixing cameras and booze, but I'm gonna be at USF mackin' on freshman chicks alllll week. That is why I'm here, right?

Maria: "How do you feel about Frankie getting jealous over you having a new bro?"
Matt: "What are you talking about?"
Maria: "Wait, aren't you Brody Jenner?"

first of all - what the fuck is Access Hollywood doing at the Super Bowl?


second - my caption (or maybe first could be my caption)

"Wow, you do NOT satisfy my foot fetish"

"Must look at ground, not hot chick in low cut top." - Leinart's adjustment to life after college
was a struggle off the field as well.


"Your car is in spot 13 ?. Right away Ms Menounos." - Even after he left the NFL, Leinart couldnt escape Warner's shadow.


"The camera ? Its uh, practice for next year when I back up Matt Cassell with the Patriots."

I want to kiss you. I couldn't care less about the team strugg-a-ling.

"Aaaaand...I hold the clipboard...ummmmmm...OH! I also shine Kurt's rosary from time to time too..."

She showed me her boobies and I liked them too.

Maria, I've got two words for you: Hot. Tub. (Looks to hand) Oh whats this? A video camera? Who put that there?

"So Matt! People are telling me that you haven't played since High School! What has made you so successful in the Pro's when you haven't had any college or pro experience?"

Don't look at her jugs . . .
Don't look at her jugs . . .
Don't look at her jugs . . .

SH*T! I looked at her jugs . . .

Stare at the floor . . .
Stare at the floor . . .
Stare at the floor . . .