hey fidel, you look healthy to me.

Every liberal Democrat in New York just threw up in their mouths a little bit.

G-Dub: So when all those nice white boys from that football team comin' on down to see me.

Tricky Dick: Grumble... I got out of my undisclosed location for this crap?

Can You Teach me the espanayol?

BUSH : Hey '' Big Papi '' can you do your Cookie Monster impersonation for us

David would later be deported....

Bush: "You know, my Big Pappy was President. Of the...United States...you know, where we are...this country. Of which, I think Boston is a part of."

"I can't believe it. David Ortiz AND Cheney have the same prescriptions!"

Kill, Kill, Kill

Was there a sale on charcoal gray suits at Mens Warehouse?

David Ortiz borrowed Michael Cage's hair for the cermony.

George is watching Manny roll Easter eggs on the lawn.

Say, I gotta get me a pair of those glasses, he looks so interperpetual.

David, you know Dick, right? Good...don't get in his line of fire, he had money on the Yankees last season.

There was a manufacturing error at the oreo factory.

"I'm smiling now, Mr. Bush, but seriously, look out. Julian Tavarez is going to kick your ass after this for what you said about Manny."

Bush: Man, I figured this guy was going to be Mexican.

Cheney: /shits pants

Christ almighty, and Lord firgive me for saying this, but yer head is bigger'n Scalia's. Jeezis H. Crhist.

W: Hey, y're that Randy guy from Amer'c'n Id'l right? Yo yo yo, Check this out, check this out, That's hot dawg. Sing me the Oreo song....

Roger Clemens called to say that this shows he's not the only person to hang around with shady characters.

W: Papi, I must say that beard is awesome. Can you teach me how to grow one like that? Mine comes in all patchy.

Cheney: /quacks like penguin

"What do you think, could I get my hair like that for the next State dinner?"

Can you teach me the art of the walk-off homerun? I'm in desperate need of some heroics to finish my Presidency off with a bang.

Bush: Do you want a chalupa?

W: I thought we were going to stand next to Jacoby Ellsbury?

Cheney: He'd be perfect for my daughter.

Bush - wow you have a big head,I mean its like a pumpkin on a toothpick.
Cheaney - thats right,see I can be just as liberal as the next guy,I let this wet back in my photo-op.
Big Papi - adios mia Manny was right these guys are full of shit and I think Cheaney wants my greencard.

Bush: Mr. Ortiz, I'm looking for a new Secretary of Swat...

Kill, Marry (for the money), F*ck (so he could have something in common with his daughter)

yep thats how that would go

Bush: Oh my lucky stars its a negro, Dick!

W - "Condeleezza Rice told me to say thanks to Big Papi and Little Papi for the other night. Where's Little Papi? I want to shake his hand for puttin' a smile on Connie's face."

The bewildered looks where brought on by John Kerry chanting, "I love Manny Ortez," from the front row of the peaNUT gallery.

You take off your black wig and stop judging me!

So, David, what strategry did you use to beat the Yankees?

I could be wrong David, but I believe diversity was the name of an old, old wooden ship in the Civil War.

"You take the good, you take the bad, you take them both and there you have the facts of life. The facts of life! Gee, you are a talented woman, Nell Carter!"

DO: Ha Ha eat that Obama, first black man in Washington.

So Lebron, you think Soul Glo will work for me, too?

Jr: "Hey, Pappy, can I touch your hair?"

Cheney: "George, shut the hell up and look straight ahead."

Ok, Ortiz, a deal's a deal. Dick will take your soul, now.

Jeez, Urkel! What the hell kind of cheese did the Winslows feed you? Do that dance thingy...

No, Yes, No.

President Bush: "There's something different about you, Sharpton..."

Bush: Since you can't vote, I'm going to come out and say your hair looks stupid. And glasses? What? From all the reading you've been doing?

(Sorry, that didn't go right the first time.)

Bush: Since you can't vote, I'm going to come out and say your hair looks stupid. And glasses? What? From all the reading you've been doing? Please. Go make me a cigar.

*sings* One of these things is not like the others...

Bush: Are you sure you don't know what I can use for jock itch? You are a jock right?

Ortiz: (Thinking) Just smile....hold the trophy....can't believe my English is better than this guy....maybe I can be the ruler of the free world....what an idiot!

Cheney: (thinking) look at this guys head, I must make millions off the oil in his hair...wait, we can drill there when he isn't looking......where are my nitroglycerin tabs