Breaking News: Jacoby Ellsbury's Girlfriend Is Attractive! And Athletic!

Sunday, April 20, 2008

(posted by One More Dying Quail)

I know what you're saying, I know - "Please, Brian, no more Red Sox posts!" But I promise, this one is important.

Tomorrow is Patriots Day in Massachusetts, which means two things to sports fans: an 11:00 AM start for the Sox game and the running of the Boston Marathon. Every year, a few of the Red Sox wives participate in the latter while their husbands are still rubbing the sleep from their eyes and bringing home the bacon (ballplayers are, as a species, NOT morning people). I think the trend might have been started by Trot Nixon's wife.

Jerry Remy and Don Orsillo had three Red Sox wives in the booth last inning to talk about the upcoming race - Shonda Schilling, Dawn Timlin, and Kelsey Hawkins (Jacoby Ellsbury's girlfriend). Schilling and Timlin have done a bunch of these, but it's Kelsey's first time, as well as the first time I've ever seen her.

Upon laying eyes on the lovely Miss Hawkins, I had three thoughts. In order...

1) She's blonde. I'm not surprised.
2) She's pretty attractive.
3) Jacoby Ellsbury possesses unbelievable athletic talent, seems to be a pleasant young man, and has a hot girlfriend. There is tremendous potential for me to hate Jacoby Ellsbury someday.

Don't take my word for any of this. Check out this photo from Michael Blanchard and decide for yourself. Try to ignore Mike O'Malley, if you can.

And, just to keep the ladies happy, one of Jacoby.

Posted by One More Dying Quail at 2:24 PM


I know this has nothing to do with this story but here it goes. A buddy of mine just told me about this website You will not believe what comes up. Is this happening elsewhere?

stephen said...
Apr 20, 2008, 3:39:00 PM  

Wait a minute...that wasn't important at all.

Avinash said...
Apr 20, 2008, 3:39:00 PM  

Isn't that Mike O'Malley from Nickelodeon's "GUTS"?

Wow, he's still around.

Anonymous said...
Apr 20, 2008, 6:12:00 PM  

Anon 6:12 - Was Mike O'Malley in GUTS before he was 'The Rick' in those incessant ESPN commercials from the mid '90s?

Tainted Alligator Souffle said...
Apr 20, 2008, 7:22:00 PM  

I believe GUTS was before, because I think GUTS was on the air in '92-'93

Anonymous said...
Apr 20, 2008, 8:03:00 PM  

The fact Yes, Dear lasted longer than Arrested Development, Undeclared, and Freaks & Geeks combined is a joke.

Anonymous said...
Apr 21, 2008, 3:36:00 PM  

i think ellsbury's dick is big

Anonymous said...
Jun 15, 2008, 3:51:00 PM  

Post a Comment