Presenting The NFL Draft Drinking Game

Friday, April 25, 2008

Last year I did the Blogger's Mock Draft which was pretty fun, but definitely not something I ever wanted to do again, and I was all set to put pen to paper and right out my Mock Draft when I stopped and said to myself....self.....who the hell cares? Mock Drafts are slowly creeping up on Fantasy Teams as a topic that no one wants to hear you babble on about.

So what am I giving you instead is a way to pass the time between picks. Via Fan IQ and Bleacher Report comes the NFL Draft Drinking Game....

-Every time you hear the phrases “on the clock,” “war room” or “character issues”… drink!
-Every time Chris Berman unveils a ridiculous nickname…drink!
-Every time a Chris Berman nickname references a song that’s over 20 years old…drink twice!
-Every time an ESPN analyst confuses Jake and Chris Long…drink!
-Every time Emmitt Smith uses a word that isn’t actually a word…drink!
-Every time someone you’re watching with wonders aloud whether or not Mel Kiper’s hair is real…drink!
-Every time you hear the word “spygate”…drink!
-Every time Jets or Eagles fans boo a pick…drink!
-Every time ESPN shows footage of Jets or Eagles fans booing picks from previous drafts…drink twice!
-If Jets or Eagles fans boo each other…do a shot!
-Every time Chris Mortensen “breaks” a story…drink!
-Every time the analysts point out that Eli Manning won the Super Bowl last year in a tone that indicates they’re having a hard time coming to terms with that fact…drink!
-Every time they show an undrafted player sitting awkwardly in the green room, waiting to hear his name called…drink!
-If the player has a family member or girlfriend by his side consoling him…drink twice!
-If you’re not sure whether or not the consoling party is a family member or a girlfriend…do a shot!
-If an analyst talks about the potential of Bengals WR Chad Johnson getting traded…drink!
-If Chad Johnson actually gets traded…drink twice!
-If your favorite team traded for Chad Johnson…do a shot!
*NOTE: The “Chad Johnson” rules can also be applied to Brian Urlacher, Jeremy Shockey or Pacman Jones.
-Every time someone mentions that Tom Brady was drafted in the sixth round…drink!
-Every time you see a commercial starring Peyton Manning…drink!
-Every time you see a commercial starring Peyton and Eli Manning…drink twice!
-Every time you see a commercial starring the whole Manning family in it…do a shot!
- Every time Chris Mortensen "breaks" a story that eventually never happens and wasn't even remotely close to being accurate ... drink!
- Every time Todd McShay and Mel Kiper getting into a heated preschool disagreement ... drink once!
- If Mel Kiper actually makes the better point ... drink twice!
- Every time you hear the term "reach" ... reach for your beer and drink!
- Every time you see a draft prospect at home with his family pretending to be one the phone ... drink once! Drink twice if he girlfriend, baby momma ... or sister is hot.
And last but not least the way end your day by passing out as quick as possible.....
- Predict the draft pick in the first 30 seconds the team is on the clock. If you're incorrect ... finish half of your beer/fresca, whatever it is you choose. We used to abide by the full beer penalty, but we're getting older and the 5 minute reduction in time puts a dent into it's feasibility. Plus, we enjoy being awake for Round 2.
Tomorrow is going to be fun! I'll be in this spot most of the day if you want to play along.

Your Guide to 2008 NFL Draft Drinking Games (Fan IQ)
The 2008 NFL Draft Drinking Game (Bleacher Report)

Posted by Awful Announcing- at 2:48 PM


Just don't drink when Kiper says, "You talk about a guy....". You may as well pretty much just hook it into your veins at that pace.

Anonymous said...
Apr 25, 2008, 3:09:00 PM  

Think it would be acceptable to bring a keg to work and play? I'm thinking NO but my heart tells me YES. This is tearing me apart.

Jeremy said...
Apr 25, 2008, 3:19:00 PM  

Man with those rules I would be drunk by the third pick...

Jeff said...
Apr 25, 2008, 3:36:00 PM  

Come on AA, this idea is definitely a reach.

GMoney said...
Apr 25, 2008, 4:07:00 PM  

I wasn't serious about trying it...we can come up with one or two to try tomorrow.

Apr 25, 2008, 4:39:00 PM  

I was being facetious with my Kiper-ism there.

GMoney said...
Apr 25, 2008, 5:37:00 PM  

so no one to go with the full rules? granted jeff says drunk by the 3rd pick and he'd be right....

Anyone trimming it down so we may have a shot to last say during the length of the nasn coverage ( for us europeans) 3PM 8pm USA that's 5 hours....


yannils said...
Apr 25, 2008, 6:16:00 PM  

How about a drink for everytime the word "character" is brought up.

Anonymous said...
Apr 25, 2008, 8:22:00 PM  

If the Pistons lose to a team they weren't supposed to by 20, finish your Heineken Draught Keg. Oh, this is the NFL Draft drinking game? Well then, if Keyshawn mumbles through a point, finish your beer.

Apr 25, 2008, 11:58:00 PM  

Everytime Berman calls it "The National Football League Selection Meeting"...drink.

Anonymous said...
Apr 26, 2008, 3:54:00 AM  

Screw this. Two guys on my floor during my freshman year did it best:

A team makes a pick? Chug a beer.

Willmott said...
Apr 26, 2008, 5:01:00 AM  

You forgot:

"Every time Brady Quinn's draft day is referenced"

"Every time Mel Kiper and Todd McShay (if he's there) get into a fight"

J.J. said...
Apr 26, 2008, 10:23:00 AM  

Every time the Lions pick a wide reciever...

JamesCraven said...
Apr 26, 2008, 5:03:00 PM  

Drink every time someone says "Division I-AA" instead of "Football Championship Subdivision".

JamesCraven said...
Apr 26, 2008, 5:04:00 PM  

Now let's see where the Iggles fuck up like they did a year ago with the motherfucking Cowboys.

JamesCraven said...
Apr 26, 2008, 5:04:00 PM  

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