Friday, April 25, 2008
Last year I did the Blogger's Mock Draft which was pretty fun, but definitely not something I ever wanted to do again, and I was all set to put pen to paper and right out my Mock Draft when I stopped and said to myself....self.....who the hell cares? Mock Drafts are slowly creeping up on Fantasy Teams as a topic that no one wants to hear you babble on about.
So what am I giving you instead is a way to pass the time between picks. Via Fan IQ and Bleacher Report comes the NFL Draft Drinking Game....
-Every time you hear the phrases “on the clock,” “war room” or “character issues”… drink!And last but not least the way end your day by passing out as quick as possible.....
-Every time Chris Berman unveils a ridiculous nickname…drink!
-Every time a Chris Berman nickname references a song that’s over 20 years old…drink twice!
-Every time an ESPN analyst confuses Jake and Chris Long…drink!
-Every time Emmitt Smith uses a word that isn’t actually a word…drink!
-Every time someone you’re watching with wonders aloud whether or not Mel Kiper’s hair is real…drink!
-Every time you hear the word “spygate”…drink!
-Every time Jets or Eagles fans boo a pick…drink!
-Every time ESPN shows footage of Jets or Eagles fans booing picks from previous drafts…drink twice!
-If Jets or Eagles fans boo each other…do a shot!
-Every time Chris Mortensen “breaks” a story…drink!
-Every time the analysts point out that Eli Manning won the Super Bowl last year in a tone that indicates they’re having a hard time coming to terms with that fact…drink!
-Every time they show an undrafted player sitting awkwardly in the green room, waiting to hear his name called…drink!
-If the player has a family member or girlfriend by his side consoling him…drink twice!
-If you’re not sure whether or not the consoling party is a family member or a girlfriend…do a shot!
-If an analyst talks about the potential of Bengals WR Chad Johnson getting traded…drink!
-If Chad Johnson actually gets traded…drink twice!
-If your favorite team traded for Chad Johnson…do a shot!
*NOTE: The “Chad Johnson” rules can also be applied to Brian Urlacher, Jeremy Shockey or Pacman Jones.
-Every time someone mentions that Tom Brady was drafted in the sixth round…drink!
-Every time you see a commercial starring Peyton Manning…drink!
-Every time you see a commercial starring Peyton and Eli Manning…drink twice!
-Every time you see a commercial starring the whole Manning family in it…do a shot!
- Every time Chris Mortensen "breaks" a story that eventually never happens and wasn't even remotely close to being accurate ... drink!
- Every time Todd McShay and Mel Kiper getting into a heated preschool disagreement ... drink once!
- If Mel Kiper actually makes the better point ... drink twice!
- Every time you hear the term "reach" ... reach for your beer and drink!
- Every time you see a draft prospect at home with his family pretending to be one the phone ... drink once! Drink twice if he girlfriend, baby momma ... or sister is hot.
- Predict the draft pick in the first 30 seconds the team is on the clock. If you're incorrect ... finish half of your beer/fresca, whatever it is you choose. We used to abide by the full beer penalty, but we're getting older and the 5 minute reduction in time puts a dent into it's feasibility. Plus, we enjoy being awake for Round 2.Tomorrow is going to be fun! I'll be in this spot most of the day if you want to play along.
Your Guide to 2008 NFL Draft Drinking Games (Fan IQ)
The 2008 NFL Draft Drinking Game (Bleacher Report)