Attempting to get Hockey back on the sports map and one up football. Sidney Crosby is going to follow in the footsteps of Tom brady and impregnate both these women in one night

One more reason why hockey will never become America's Sport.

I mean, seriously. He's shilling for Reebok like it's the Gap.

"Yes ladies, smile, because I'll be going five-hole on you, blondie, and scoring from behind the net on you."

"Who wants to measure the curve on my stick?"

Now see, if I were back in Da Burgh, these two knockouts would have gigantic 80's hair, smell like Marlboro Lights dipped in clam juice and have huge asses.

"No, wearing Reebok does NOT mean you will score with hot chicks like these"

OR

"Can one of you two go score me a siz-pack of beer? I'm only 20"

Girls:"I thought Brady Quinn was gay."

"They may say that the NHL will never be as popular as the NFL, but I've got two more ladies than that quarterback Jeff Garcia will ever have right here"

Sadly, Sidney Crosby was unable to get a Reebok endorsement, but the cheap labor company Reebook.

Sidney poses with two girls while his giant, creepy twin brother smells one of the girls' hair.

Sorry, NHL. ESPN's still not interested in you.

RBK: The perfect shoe for the man who enjoys threesomes and abbreviations.

"Welcome to Nova Scotia: Now with modern clothes and women with teeth!"

Mario could never pull trim like this, he was always getting these fat French-Canadian chicks that looked like his Mom.

"You know, ladies, Mario lets me raid the wine cellar when he's out of town..."

All he needs is a jeans jacket for a "Canadian tuxedo."

Canada: where jeans, t-shirt, and ballcap is deemed "fashion."

Stay classy, Canada.

Girls- You're great on SNL. I loved Lazy Sunday.

Valtrex: Douchebag tested, Ron Mexico Approved!

Who cares if these chicks have a bigger crotch than me? I'm Sid the Kid!

After they were done, the ladies grabbed their bazookas, and fired burgers into the mouths of Andy Reid and Bob Wickman.

Hey girls, come back to my place and you be part of the live studio audience for the Crosby Show...Oh yeah.

Using hockey as a marketing platform, Reebok announced the sale of 3 t-shirts this week, with a forecast of another one or two by October.

"Hi ladies, I'm Sidney Crosby of the NHL."

"Who?"

"Uh...I mean I'm Brody Jenner from The Hills."

"COOOOOL!!!!!"

...who's Sidney Crosby?

"Scoring while shorthanded? Ain't no thang."

-Sidney

Even though they're smiling, the ladies were still worried that Ashton Kutcher was going to punk them