Create The Caption #131

Thursday, December 13, 2007

(Usually) Everyday I'll throw out a photo from the AP or one of the bigger sites and you provide the caption. Hilarity ensues. I'm also adding a handful of links at the bottom of the page that you should check out each day.

We're getting this one up early today, so I can be ready for the Mitchell Report Madness. Here's the rumor list that's circulating, and it appears that this one might be partially true.

Yesterday's Winners....

"Anyone think they could be long lost brothers?"- Tom

Bird Selig: "Mmmm, my pinky tastes juuuust like the worm I snatched from my nest earlier today....mmm, worms"- The Sports Hernia

"Alright, where's the fan, cause I got the shit right here"- Anon

"My investigation found that baseball is, and always has been, free of performance-enhancing drugs."

"...PSYCH!"- Joel

"Bueller... Bueller... Bueller... Bueller?"- Bacon

Are you funny enough to create a caption for this photo of Lance Armstrong hanging with Jason Bourne at Sky Bar? (I'm thinking some Olsen Twins jokes are in order. Via SI's Caught In The Act)

Daily Links:

An Interview With Hashmarks' Matt Mosley (The Big Picture)
Let's Sing Some Mitchell Report Christmas Carols! (Deuce Of Davenport)
Say It Ain't So Barbaro (The Sports Hernia)
A List Of Headlines You'll Never See About The NFL (Football For Breakfast)
Nancy Reagan In The Booth To Tell You To Not Do Drugs (Hugging Harold Reynolds)
Never Leave Your Company Christmas Party Early (Lion In Oil)
Dumpster Diving At Its Finest (Crashburn Alley)

Posted by Awful Announcing- at 12:17 PM


Matt Damon and Lance Armstrong go out to celebrate after they see, to their surprise, that their names are not on the Mitchell report.

daniil said...
Dec 13, 2007, 12:40:00 PM  

Lance Armstrong (left), and Jason Bourne (Right) hang out at Sky Bar with the Olsen twins (Center).

Mookie said...
Dec 13, 2007, 12:45:00 PM  

Man, you've got a huge ball going dating that Olsen twin.

Anonymous said...
Dec 13, 2007, 12:48:00 PM  

Lance swears if Matt won't be his wing man he's taking his ball and going home.

Anonymous said...
Dec 13, 2007, 12:49:00 PM  

somewhere...Matthew McConaghey is lonely

the great bambi said...
Dec 13, 2007, 12:51:00 PM  

Whereas vampires are warded off with garlic, the Olsen twins made a rapid exit once they saw the lemon wedges with the drinks as any contact with food would be deadly...their narrow escape allows them to continue to live strong.

the great bambi said...
Dec 13, 2007, 12:53:00 PM  

One of these men has one testicle, the other is Lance Armstrong.

karasz said...
Dec 13, 2007, 12:56:00 PM  

It's not ALL bad, Matt. More chicks are willing to teabag when there's only one.

Anonymous said...
Dec 13, 2007, 12:58:00 PM  

"If you look closely behind the reeds, you will see the Olsen twins sharing a Triscuit"

JK said...
Dec 13, 2007, 1:18:00 PM  

"You're quitting poker Mike? You know, once I was thinking of quitting when I was diagnosed with brain, lung and testicular cancer all at the same time. But with the love and support of my friends and family, I got back on the bike and won the Tour de France five times in a row. But I'm sure you have a good reason to quit. So what are you dying of that's keeping you from no limit hold'em?"

"Losing 3 stacks of high society to a Russian mobster"

"Oh fuck that, good call on quitting"

the great bambi said...
Dec 13, 2007, 1:19:00 PM  

Lance Armstrong and Matt Damon celebrate their names not appearing on the Mitchell Report.

Jay said...
Dec 13, 2007, 1:20:00 PM  

Both these guys have a combined number of 1 testicle.

Dec 13, 2007, 1:32:00 PM  

See, I got these new drinks that I thought up, but, uh, I can't seem ot cup and lime in the can.

Damn, this thinking stuff is hard. Look at my guns Lance, do you like tham?

hollywood wags said...
Dec 13, 2007, 2:03:00 PM  

You can say that again, Jay. Oh yeah, you did.

Anonymous said...
Dec 13, 2007, 2:16:00 PM  

Lance and Matt prepare to make their porn debut in "Two guys, Five Cups and Three Nuts."

Anonymous said...
Dec 13, 2007, 2:26:00 PM  

Check out my new friend. Yeah, he looks like Ben Affleck, except he's not a huge fricking douche.

J.J. said...
Dec 13, 2007, 2:44:00 PM  

Why does Armstrong's head look like it might just roll right off his neck?

Anonymous said...
Dec 13, 2007, 3:22:00 PM  

"I refer to my missing right nut as The Departed."--Lance

GMoney said...
Dec 13, 2007, 3:53:00 PM  

I can't top Gmoney's entry, but here's a try for placement

From Left to Right: Took Performance Enhancing Drugs, Is Ben Affleck's Performance Enhancing Drug

Brave Sir Robin said...
Dec 13, 2007, 5:33:00 PM  

Matt: "America, you like apples? DO..YOU...LIKE...APPLES? I got Lance Armstrong's numbah, how do you like THEM apples?"

Anonymous said...
Dec 13, 2007, 5:48:00 PM  

It's nice to know that famous, wealthy people look like goobs after 1 a.m., too!

Anonymous said...
Dec 13, 2007, 5:51:00 PM  

You know, Lance, this is never gonna work. I mean, we don't have a hip 21st century combo name like Bennifer - Mance? Latt? Damrong?! I give up!

Anonymous said...
Dec 13, 2007, 5:56:00 PM  

"Yeah, the whole 'cancer' thing was my publicist's idea. That freak Sheryl Crow went off her meds one day and bit 'Lefty' right off while I was sleeping."

Anonymous said...
Dec 13, 2007, 7:00:00 PM  

"Look, Matt, it's great they let you keep the glasses from 'The Good Sheperd,' but we're never going to pull any wool as long as you've got those things on."

Anonymous said...
Dec 13, 2007, 7:04:00 PM  

Lance: "My trainer told me to 'suck it up.' I guess I sucked too hard.

Anonymous said...
Dec 13, 2007, 8:18:00 PM  

Man, I love Almond Joys. "Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don't."

Anonymous said...
Dec 13, 2007, 8:21:00 PM  

2 Liberal Bastards, 1 single ball.

Anonymous said...
Dec 13, 2007, 8:21:00 PM  

Matt Damon talks with Lance Armstrong, his co-star of the new movie project, "Dude, Where's My Ball"

Gonzo said...
Dec 13, 2007, 10:26:00 PM  

Bourne was angry later when he found he wasn't having a few drinks with one-ball Lance Armstrong, but Tony Kornheiser with a PTI Lance Armstrong mask taped to his face.

jared said...
Dec 13, 2007, 11:47:00 PM  

Lance: Did you see where Mary-Kate went?


Dr. C said...
Dec 14, 2007, 10:43:00 AM  

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