Duke. UNC. The love that cannot be.

"Dammit Jay, I told you, you come 90, I come 10, you don't go all the way you over-eager sonuva---"

How about sex, then we go shopping, then more sex?

"... but the ladies call me Nympho T."

When I look into your eyes, I see a love that can not be....

I'm not sayin' shit to you, Duke-boy

Bilas: What is with you guys?
Hansbrough: I don't know, Duke boy.

Tyler Hansbrough deftly shows his other God-given talent: speaking exclusively in monosyllable words.

Bilas: "Tyler, how do you feel about facing Kansas in the Final Four?"

Hansbrough: "Well you know, Jay, Kansas does play fast and loose."

Bilas: "As do I, Tyler. As do I."

Bilas (to himself): "He even has the eyes of an angel...just give me one chance to introduce you to psycho D...i'll make the way you hit the boards look like child's play."

No I will not make out with you! Did ya hear that? This guy wants to make out with me in the middle of an interview!

O Tyler, Tyler! Wherefore art thou Tyler?
Deny Roy Williams and quit the game;
Or, if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love,
And I'll no longer be a Blue Devil.

Jay, your gun is digging into my hip.

You can take your hand off my thigh, Jay. I'm flattered but I have a girlfriend.

Bilas: I love you man

Hansbrough: Not that there any thing wrong with that

Bilas: But why not

Hansbrough: Because I don't date people for Duke

What Bilas did next could only be described as Bruce Pearl / Erin Andrews Part 2.

Tyler, how does it feel to have my left hand gently cupping your balls?

Hansbrough: "Jay, I want to kiss you."

(microphone drops)

Dick Enberg: "And that happened."

Hansbrough: I wanna know what love is...I want you show me!!!

I'm sorry Jay, but as you can see, I've found someone else.

"Tell me Tyler, Have you ever seen a grown man naked?"

"Do you like movies about gladiators?"

Jay: "So you think we can grab dinner after this?"
Psycho T: "Listen Bilas, I'm not Redick; I don't swing that way."

Jay- "Tyler, what were you thinking about when you realized you guys were going to go to the Final Four?"

T- "I was thinking about this moment. When I get to tell you (dramatic pause) go fuck yourself you duke-ass bitch."

"My love, my love, my... endless love..."

Jay: "If the two guys in the Sheraton commercial under the umbrella can do it, surely we make it work."

"So you wanna get some pizza? And screw? What's the matter, you don't like pizza?

So you wanna like, hang out sometime, maybe watch a movie?

This mike isn't gonna blow itself.

I'm f*cking Matt Damon!

A haiku from Jay to Tyler:
Player of The Year
Rock my Duke World, Psycho T
Player of my heart!

Tyler: "Well thats a great question Jay, but you know the real question is when are they going to change the name to 'Psycho-T Court' up there in Durham?!"

tyler - I'm going to see what else is on the bus. NEXT!

Gosh, I hope you give MAXIMUM EFFORT every minute in the sack

when in doubt, just STROKE IT!

Tyler: Jay, did I really hear you say I could out-work Michael Jordan? You're a fucking retard.