ESPN Sunday Night Baseball Open Thread

Sunday, April 13, 2008

(posted by One More Dying Quail)

Alright, folks: five more minutes of The Memory Keeper's Daughter (damn you Lifetime!) and it...is...on. Roughly 210 minutes of award-winning broadcasting awaits.

Joe Morgan. Jon Miller. Yankees. Red Sox. ESPN Sunday Night Baseball. NEXT!

I'll do what I can to update this here thing, but leave your thoughts below - please, for the love of God. If this thing doesn't get at least thirty comments, AA might not let me out of the basement.

PregameHoly Christ on a cracker! Those are the greatest shirts in the history of ever! Yellow with a red power tie for Jon, purple on purple for my man Joe. The only word possible to describe this situation is, "Fabulous!"

First Inning
And we're off to a great start for Joe Morgan: "I've watched Dice-K pitch several times on TV this year." Ummmm, really Joe? Because this is only his 4th start. Glad you understand the meaning of the word "several." - Ames

I don't know, Ames - I'll give Joe the benefit of the doubt on this one. Three could, technically, be used to connote "several". Possibly. I think the most important thing to take from this is the idea that Joe is watching games on television. That's huge.

"He's HOT!" - Jon Miller, reading J.D. Drew's name on the lineup - I agree, he IS a handsome man.

That curveball from Hughes made MY knees buckle. I can't wait to see him and Buchholz go head to head one of these days.

"Manny can handle any pitch" Joe Morgan, moments after Morgan was saying Manny was a great hitter because he didnt swing at a pitch he couldnt handle. - pickitup

"The last time there was a Yankee pitcher this young who started at Fenway, it was Jose Rijo!" - Jon Miller - I'll admit, Rijo was great for several years, but I'm not sure Yankees fans want to hear their phenom compared to a guy whose arm pretty much fell off at the age of 30.

Second Inning
Jon Miller says after Casey's ground rule double, "That's a home in run in any other ball park....380 feet".

Well I just checked the right field dimensions of all current baseball parks and come up with Turner Field (390 feet), Comerica Park (388 feet), Ameriquest Field (381 feet), and PETCO Park (387 feet) as being longer than Fenway's 380 feet. - anonymous

Can you feel one of these 4.5 hour 9 inning Red Sox-Yankee Games coming on? I can. - ninjasrpeopletoo

If that happens, I'm not making it past the sixth inning.

Good Lord. I was just thinking, "Tie goes to the runner," and then Joe said it. Pray for me. Please.

"They say this kid is gonna be really special, especially with the glove." - Joe - Where are they gonna put him? First base? Or is Jeter actually gonna give up shortstop in the near future?

Third Inning
Damon steals second again. He is just openly mocking Jon and Joe at this point.

Rough night for Jose Molina. He's been remarkable in his consistency to not block pitches in the dirt.

This game might never end.

Shouldn't Molina be getting a little of the blame for being crossed up on two pitches, leading directly to two runs? He better be getting a talking to from Yadier and Benji later. - ninjasrpeopletoo

Absolutely. You usually expect your catcher to at least get to the ball and knock it down, especially with a runner on third.

Fourth Inning
"Roughly 210 minutes of award-winning broadcasting awaits."

I believe the proper term for this is "misunderestimating".


They mentioned the other night that the average Sox-Yankees game lasts 3 hours and 30 minutes, so that's what I used. Clearly, I should have gone with the over. The WAY over. This is freakin' unbelievable.

"Watch where his left arm is (promptly circles Sean Casey's right arm)." - Joe

Fifth Inning
"Foul ball lands about an inch away from Peter Gammons. Joe and Jon start to jokingly bust on him for not trying to catch the ball. Gammons shoots back that he has bad/frozen hands. Joe puts on his player cap to remind those of us that haven't played the game that it was a good idea not to catch it because "the ball hurts". They don't show Gammons when he responds but his tone says it all. "I know that" roughly translated "I would kill you if ESPN let me"." - anonymous

Joe has been on a crusade this season to make sure everyone is aware of how much the ball hurts when it hits you.

Coco Crisp has apparently decided to bunt for a base hit every time up.

I wanna be annoyed that they're talking about a play from four years ago, but I can't. I will never tire of hearing about Dave Roberts. (Although I thought Tom Gordon was on the mound in Game 5...I'll have to check.)

Yup, Roberts pinch ran in Game 5 and ended up scoring the tying run, but the only role Rivera played was giving up the sacrifice fly that drove in Roberts. Miller somehow managed to get most of the details of that story incorrect.

I don't even know what inning it is anymore - sixth? Yeesh - guess who's not watching the end of this game? (I say that now. Watch, I'll still be up at the end, and hating myself for it.)

Alright, boys and girls. We hit fifty comments (amazing work from everyone), so I'm gonna call it a weekend. Doesn't mean you have to stop, of course - I'm already looking forward to stopping by tomorrow and seeing what other gems you all hear.

Thanks for joining me here over the last couple days. We'll have to do this open thread thing again sometime - next Sunday, same time, same station? Hope to see you all here.

57 Comments:

And we're off to a great start for Joe Morgan: "I've watched Dice-K pitch several times on TV this year." Ummmm, really Joe? Because this is only his 4th start. Glad you understand the meaning of the word "several."

ames said...
Apr 13, 2008, 8:13:00 PM  

Four times is a few Joe.

ifiok2567 said...
Apr 13, 2008, 8:16:00 PM  

"I think the Yankees are trying to win THIS year." - Joe. Uh huh, yep, I'm pretty sure that's the plan!

ames said...
Apr 13, 2008, 8:25:00 PM  

Jon and Joe go into a protracted discussion about the lack of base-stealers in the Yankee lineup, and how the team has yet to steal a base this season. Immediately, Johnny Damon steals second. Good times.

Anonymous said...
Apr 13, 2008, 8:26:00 PM  

I'm enjoying these Baseball Tonight commercials with the guys being involved in historical baseball events. The one they just showed with Gammons yelling "he's bringing the heat!" to Kruk right before the "Shot Heard 'Round the World" was great.

jamesdecker2006 said...
Apr 13, 2008, 8:29:00 PM  

"Manny can handle any pitch" Joe Morgan, moments after Morgan was saying Manny was a great hitter because he didnt swing at a pitch he couldnt handle.

Pickitup said...
Apr 13, 2008, 8:36:00 PM  

I also enjoyed Joe explanation of Manny's career success against the Yankees: he's from New York, so he wants to do well against his hometown team. Uhh, does he know Manny Ramirez? Does that sound like something Manny would take into consideration? I love Manny to death, he's one of my all-time favorite players, but he's a guy who sometimes doesn't keep up with balls and strikes at the plate, what makes Joe think he would consider the notion of doing well against his hometown team?

Anonymous said...
Apr 13, 2008, 8:40:00 PM  

Jon Miller says after Casey's ground rule double, "That's a home in run in any other ball park....380 feet".

Well I just checked the right field dimensions of all current baseball parks and come up with Turner Field (390 feet), Comerica Park (388 feet), Ameriquest Field (381 feet), and PETCO Park (387 feet) as being longer than Fenway's 380 feet..

Anonymous said...
Apr 13, 2008, 8:45:00 PM  

Seriously, how many times are we gonna have to hear about the fact that the Sox traveled a lot the first couple of weeks of the season (with the map/graphic to go with it)? We get it, it sucked for them. They seem to have recovered, let's talk about something else.

ames said...
Apr 13, 2008, 8:49:00 PM  

that was a matchup made in japan right there...right joe

Anonymous said...
Apr 13, 2008, 8:51:00 PM  

Can you feel one of these 4.5 hour 9 inning Red Sox-Yankee Games coming on? I can.

Apr 13, 2008, 8:52:00 PM  

I wish Joe would have taken the opportunity of the DiceK-Matsui matchup to compare the flashiness or whatever of Japanese players to African Americans like himself.

Anonymous said...
Apr 13, 2008, 8:53:00 PM  

"you get a feel for the game and thats what managers do...and at that time he didn't want to walk Manny..."

Joe defending Yanks manager Girardi letting Mussina pitch to Manny and subsequently lose the game on the very next pitch...that's why you don't manage anymore Joe

Anonymous said...
Apr 13, 2008, 8:57:00 PM  

Umm, hello? Family Guy is on right now. Why are you watching April baseball?

Anonymous said...
Apr 13, 2008, 9:19:00 PM  

"Damon does not have a strong throwing arm."

Woah there Jon, easy on the earth-shattering revelations tonight.

Anonymous said...
Apr 13, 2008, 9:35:00 PM  

@Anon 9:19:

Family Guy was a rerun. Funny, but a rerun nonetheless.

Apr 13, 2008, 9:37:00 PM  

How about the whole insane sliding head first vs leg first discussion when Coco stole the base..."you can't bend your leg you can your arm..." WHAT?

vhschola said...
Apr 13, 2008, 9:40:00 PM  

Joe has spent 10 minutes telling us how pitchers are pitching Ellsbury inside now, as opposed to last year. I get it already.

I predict another 3-4 references to this.

Apr 13, 2008, 9:43:00 PM  

Shouldn't Molina be getting a little of the blame for being crossed up on two pitches, leading directly to two runs? He better be getting a talking to from Yadier and Benji later.

Apr 13, 2008, 9:44:00 PM  

re: vhschola

Yeah, I have no idea what he was trying to say. I mean players injure themselves LESS often sliding with their feet. He's making it seem like its more dangerous for some reason.

Apr 13, 2008, 9:46:00 PM  

This game is taking so long, ESPN's gonna cut to the first hand of the World Series of Poker before the final out is recorded. Either that or trick shot billiards.

Tainted Alligator Souffle said...
Apr 13, 2008, 9:51:00 PM  

We're gonna need a "mental health day" trying to follow every argument you & Joe make tonight, Jon.
Maybe Gary Thorne on ESPN Radio can make more sense.

Apr 13, 2008, 9:56:00 PM  

"Roughly 210 minutes of award-winning broadcasting awaits."

I believe the proper term for this is "misunderestimating".

Vegas Watch said...
Apr 13, 2008, 10:01:00 PM  

Gawd, Daisuke is frustrating. Dude has a 6 run lead and is nibbling and nibbling. Throw some strikes!

Apr 13, 2008, 10:04:00 PM  

Joe decides he doesn't care what he's currently talking about so he starts talking about how much he likes Wang, Chien-Ming Wang that is. It would make sense if it had anything at all to do with the game. I think Joe might have a secret he's not telling us

Anonymous said...
Apr 13, 2008, 10:11:00 PM  

hands... hands... watch this right here, hands...

Anonymous said...
Apr 13, 2008, 10:18:00 PM  

Joe: "(Casey)'s got that chicken wing thing here."

Anonymous said...
Apr 13, 2008, 10:22:00 PM  

I wonder whos brilliant idea to use the Tiger/Manny comparison. Would have been more appropriate if Tiger won Masters...scratch that! Never appropriate!!
SNB is truly painful.

Monty said...
Apr 13, 2008, 10:23:00 PM  
This comment has been removed by the author.
Naticksoxfan said...
Apr 13, 2008, 10:30:00 PM  

"slide piece"? "funny pitch"?

Anonymous said...
Apr 13, 2008, 10:31:00 PM  

Miller just said, "The Yankees are playing without David Ortiz, Big Papi, tonight..." and there was stunned silence until Morgan filled it with more meaningless divel.

Naticksoxfan said...
Apr 13, 2008, 10:31:00 PM  

Ha. Matzusaki. did anyone catch that one?

steve said...
Apr 13, 2008, 10:32:00 PM  

Foul ball lands about an inch away from Peter Gammons. Joe and Jon start to jokingly bust on him for not trying to catch the ball
Gammons shoots back that he has bad/frozen hands. Joe puts on his player cap to remind those of us that haven't played the game
that it was a good idea not to catch it because "the ball hurts". They don't show Gammons when he responds but his tone says it all
"I know that" roughly translated "I would kill you if ESPN let me"

Anonymous said...
Apr 13, 2008, 10:32:00 PM  

I was listening to the ESPN Radio broadcast and Gary Thorne is continuing his tailspin into senility.

"Dice-K Matsui delivers the 2-0."

Apparently, Gary Thorne refers to all Asians like a soldier in the movie "Platoon": they're all the same.

Adam said...
Apr 13, 2008, 10:33:00 PM  

My hope is that one day Peter Gammons screams "I can't take this anymore, YOU'RE AN IDIOT JOE MORGAN!!!" live on the air.

There's no way he'd get fired. He's a legend, and all of America would stand and applaud. If the WWL did try to fire him, there would be such an outpouring of support for Gammons that they'd just solve the problem by firing Morgan. Oh how I can dream...

Anonymous said...
Apr 13, 2008, 10:39:00 PM  

Dave Campbell on the ESPN Radio side says "slide piece" all the time. Speaking of...

Thorne on the Ortiz jersey "flak": "Why did the guy say something so early? Why didn't he wait until the stadium was finished?"
Campbell: "Just like they did with Hoffa?"
Thorne: "Oooh!"

Apr 13, 2008, 10:42:00 PM  

Joe and Jon are obsessed with stolen base talk tonight: the Yankees don't steal bases anymore, the Red Sox used to not steal bases but they do now, Dave Roberts stole a base, a Maury Wills reference and a Davey Lopes discussion.

How have we gotten this far without discussing Dave Concepcion's 41 stolen bases in 1974?

jamesdecker2006 said...
Apr 13, 2008, 10:47:00 PM  

Jon reminds us that Johnny Damon was a key contributer in the 2004 Red Sox World Championship team. Reeeeaaalllly?

Anonymous said...
Apr 13, 2008, 10:53:00 PM  

whats the count for Jon Miller getting the teams confused? My count is at four for times he's said Yankees instead of Red Sox

wishmewell said...
Apr 13, 2008, 10:54:00 PM  

I thought I was drunk when I heard that, too, wishmewell; Jon: "The Yankees won the World Series in 2004, the...Red Sox won."

Apr 13, 2008, 11:03:00 PM  

Miller talks to his audience like they have never seen a baseball game before. It's really, really annoying.

Vegas Watch said...
Apr 13, 2008, 11:16:00 PM  

sounds like joe morgan has a thing for mrs. robinson. coo-coo-c-choo!

Anonymous said...
Apr 13, 2008, 11:18:00 PM  

I thought Jons earlier asian racism with Matsuzaki was taking over when he started his call of the bottom of the 7th with the line "that was the song I'll be lovin' you long time by Mariah Carey" and then I checked it out and it's a real song. Reeeeeaaaaaaalllllllly?

Anonymous said...
Apr 13, 2008, 11:22:00 PM  

Jon then said "The album's gonna drop April 15th." Word.

Apr 13, 2008, 11:24:00 PM  

miller just mixed up matsuzaka and okajima. what a loser.

Anonymous said...
Apr 13, 2008, 11:26:00 PM  

A shot of Faneuil Hall, Jon Miller: "Is that John Adams? The second president of the United States. That's John Adams...no we're being told that's not John Adams. It's Samuel Adams"

Joe Morgan: "John Adams is a movie on HBO right now"

Classic. And it reminds me, why the hell am I watching this still?

Anonymous said...
Apr 13, 2008, 11:30:00 PM  

Did Joe Morgan really just utter the phrase, "Ya know, get some amnesty."

He's said plenty of shit much dumber in the past and tonight, but for some reason that really got me.

Chase said...
Apr 13, 2008, 11:34:00 PM  

We need running tallies of the number of player and team names that Jon Miller mistakes/reverses. Its rampant at this point.

Apr 13, 2008, 11:35:00 PM  

Did anyone hear Joe Morgan's piece on the steroid crap?

SCENE: 2016 Presidential Debates
"Senator Morgan, how will you deal with rising crime?"
"Well, I don't think we should be focusing on the people who are living the wrong way, but we should be patting the people who aren't committing crimes on the back."

(And don't get him started on crime statistics. You know who'd be a great attorney general? Davey Concepcion.)

Ice Cole said...
Apr 13, 2008, 11:36:00 PM  

"Double Play!" Well I'll be damned. As a Broadcaster in a rinkydink market this gives me motivation to keep on keepin on...to get better at what I do on a daily basis. Effin Hacks, these two are!!!

Monty said...
Apr 13, 2008, 11:40:00 PM  

"Struck him out...oh wait, he fouled it off" - Miller

That was a painful reminded that Jon Miller does not actually watch the game

wishmewell said...
Apr 13, 2008, 11:42:00 PM  

I want to repeat exactly what wishmewell said, only this time it's top of the 9th, two outs.

Chase said...
Apr 14, 2008, 12:04:00 AM  

Miller: "He started off shakily."

Chase said...
Apr 14, 2008, 12:06:00 AM  

On ESPNRadio, Gary Thorne and Dave Campbell have the following conversation:

Dave Campbell: "..and they have to go to Tampa to face the De...the Rays. See, we finally got it right."

Gary Thorne: "We blew the devil."

Anonymous said...
Apr 14, 2008, 12:12:00 AM  

Same time, Wednesday night? Joe's gonna be there.

Apr 14, 2008, 12:12:00 AM  

Did anybody hear them call Molina "Varitek"? Wrong team guys.

Hilarious.

But "Matsuzaki" was hilariouser.

Tom said...
Apr 14, 2008, 9:17:00 AM  

Thorne called Dice-K "Matsui" about 5 times before i just HAD to turn it off...

Jerry said...
Apr 14, 2008, 9:56:00 AM  

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