These pretzels... are making me thirsty....

Dammit, Michael Richards has even taken the joy out of that line for me. It pisses me off that every time I watch Seinfeld now, I have to think of a fork-in-the-ass lynching. Way to ruin a huge chunk of my youth, Kramer.

OK, back to the "action"

10:10 More white people.

Fran recommends that OSU take it "basket by basket, because there are no 17-point plays in college basketball".

10:12 Fran warns us that each of the KU starters has two fouls. Dude - don't worry. Kleinman is ready to rotate in at a moment's notice.

On the OSU side, still no Adarius Bowman sighting. C'mon Seannie - roll the dice! He won a bowl game!

10:15 Cooper has 12 pts for the Cowboys. Any other night, that would be great, but nobody else is helping him out.

10:18 Kansas really plays to the level of the competition. They beat then-#1 Florida, and they're destroying the Cowboys, but how excited are we supposed to get about that? They also lost at home to Oral Roberts (to be fair, Jay-zus was on ORU's side), and DePaul. This smacks of the past two years, when Kansas ripped the big boys and then fell early in the NCAAs to a lightly-regarded Mid-Major. All we can do is wait and see if the trend continues, because they seem pretty geared up for conference play.

10:22 Eddie Sutton looks like he's going off the wagon again.

The crawl says Virginia is playing #1 UNC pretty tough - that definitely sounds like a better game than this one.

There goes Kaun again. Bill Self is looking pretty happy that Glasnost worked out.

10:23 There was just a State Farm commercial and the actors looked like they were sitting in the diner from "Pulp Fiction". Mine's the term life policy that says "Bad Motherfucker" on it.

10:25 They should run the women's scores in pink. Several times per game I have a moment where I double-take. "Holy shit, Old Dominion is beating Ohio State! Oh, it's just the women."

Kansas still leading by 20. OSU is taking mostly outside shots and missing. Wow... I almost wish these two teams had met later, at full strength. I was kind of in the mood for a black-and-blue Big 12 punch-out tonight, and I got a laugher.

10:32 Odd stat (which you tend to dig up in a blowout) ESPN just showed that JamesOn Curry is 15 behind Bill Self on the all-time OSU assists chart. He's just a Junior, so I think he's going to run away with that particular matchup.

10:40 Mario Chalmers' dad is a Kansas assistant. I'm sorry, but the most qualified guy for the job just happened to be the father of a prized recruit from Alaska? I smell Polar Bear shit. Larry Brown did the same thing, hiring Ed Manning to wash his car or something while Danny was at KU. I'm usually not in favor of more NCAA rules, but a no-nepotism rule wouldn't bother me a bit.

10:45 Out... of... hand. Kansas is up 75-48. Time to bring in the walk-ons. I'm just going to sit quietly until I can report the final score.

Wow, Wichita State loses again. How do you go from beating Syracuse and LSU to losing to Indiana State? Larry Bird's not walking through that door.....

10:57 You know it was a blowout when the box score includes all 12 players. No DNPs tonight for Kansas. I mean, even the token guys who are actually FROM the state of Kansas are getting to play.

11:00 OSU blessedly dribbles out the clock and KU wins 87-57. Sasha Kaun leads the scoring with 16. An infinite number of monkeys with an infinite number of typewriters would never have come up with that stat line.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH! Stephen A. is SHOUTING AT ME!!!! Gotta go turn the TV off.

Thanks for the slot, AA.

I have been: Extrapolater