Super Bowl Announcing Preview- The Sideline Reporters Part 1

Tuesday, January 30, 2007

So who am I to tell CBS what to do right? You go the entire season without any real sideline reporters, which was effing brilliant.......and then you bring them ALL back for the Playoffs and Super Bowl. And by all I mean ALL 4. How in the hell are 4 sideline reporters supposed to work? Do they each get a quarter? Well either way here they are in all of their glory. I'm going to give them current grades and then we can see if they did better or worse in the Super Bowl. It'll be me. Trust me!

Steve Tasker:

Steven is a good ole' boy. He loves hunting and is sort of a maniac. You have to be to play your entire career as a gunner on special teams. How do I know he was a maniac? Well you may or may not remember, but Tasker was ejected in his final game for protesting a muffed punt, and bumped a referee. Good Stuff.

Other things you may or may not know.....

  • Majored in Communications at Northwestern.
  • Played in 7 Pro Bowls
  • Stands 5'8"
  • Does Play-by-Play for Bills in the Preseason
  • Often confused with Don Beebe
  • He REALLY loves hunting

Steve's been on CBS since he retired in 1997. They went through a huge shuffle that year and he somehow ended up with the job after a screen test. Steve has been steadily climbing my list of acceptable color guys, and is pretty damn funny during a broadcast.


"It's never as bad as it seems and never as good as it seems either."

"The Buffalo Bills are a punch line. We were always the team that couldn't win the big game. But we kept getting to the big game."

"Well, the best part about it for me after having been a player is the fact that there is no scoreboard for us in the booth. We don’t really care who wins, what we want is a competitive game. And for the player of course, that’s not what he wants."

Current Grade: B

Solomon Wilcots:

Solomon on the other hand is the straight-laced serious type. Boomer Esiason's boy is not the best at the sideline stuff as evidenced by the Bill Belichick Incident (great band name), but you can't really blame him for that. Solomon has actually gone on record as saying that Rextasy is a "good quarterback" and that he likes that Lovie Smith "let's the kid go out and make mistakes" (hmm let's see how much Lovie likes that if he does it in the Super Bowl)

Other things you may or may not know.....
  • Solomon was a DB in the league for six years.
  • Has a kid name Skylar (I hate that name)
  • Likes to eat chicken in the nude (Not true, but I really couldn't find anything else)
Unlike Steve Tasker....I'm not a big Wilcots fan. He botches names all the time and he has that "I played the game, and you don't know what you're talking about" attitude that drives me nuts (*ahem Phil Simms!). What the hell....let's watch it again....

The best part is how depressed Solomon sound afterwards. "Okay Coach."

Other Quotes:

"Whenever you have a group of good coaches, good teachers and good leaders, you wind up being taught so well you tend to know things and maybe see things other people don't."

"Current players share with me in a way they probably wouldn't to an outsider, to a guy who hasn't been in the locker room. Not taking anything away from a guy who hasn't, you can still come to an understanding about the game, but having played provides a great sense of enlightenment." (What a dick.)

Current Grade: C- (Only because I don't loathe him like some of the others)

So there you have them your Sideline Reporters for the Super Bo.......oh wait.....I said that there were four right? Well they aren't exactly sideline reporters, so they get their own post. Learn more about the two "Embed-eds" a little later on, and leave your Tasker/Wilcots thoughts in the 'ments.


I can't hate on Tasker much, but I'm with you on Solomon -- he brings nothing to the table.

Please, please, please, let one of the embeds be Bonnie Bernstein (or someone female), because it's dollars to donuts the other is Armen Keteyian.

Signal to Noise said...
Jan 30, 2007, 2:46:00 PM  

For what it's worth, this blog post takes a look at Bonnie Bernstein's beef with CBS's "minimalist approach" to sideline reporting.

dl004d said...
Jan 30, 2007, 3:10:00 PM  

I'm picturing Sam Ryan minus a cute Bonnie B hat. and Armen on the other sidleine.

MDG said...
Jan 30, 2007, 3:20:00 PM  

Steve Tasker's Kermit-the-frog voice drives me bonkers.

I'd prefer his broadcast partner, Gus Johnson, on the sidelines.

It would be great.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand back to YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...
Jan 30, 2007, 3:44:00 PM  

Regardless of the talent CBS selects, I'm willing to bet that the "infomation" passed on from them will be slightly less enlightening than Belichick's comments post AFC Championship

Jan 30, 2007, 4:36:00 PM  

"Skylar Wilcots? Your ass-kicking is on line three. Would you like me to keep the 'dad, I'm gay' speech on hold until you're done?"

extrapolater said...
Jan 30, 2007, 11:01:00 PM  

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