"Len Pasquarelli is reporting that JaMarcus Russell will sign tomorrow."

Which credible journalist did he steal that story from? I'll check profootballtalk.com

"Bite them on the behind."

Got it first

Let's add "bites them right in the behind" to the list of things nobody feels like hearing on MNF. Can we get Ditka to pull a cup check on Greenberg?

Oh man, FIFA women's world cup.

I bet this'll work!

In Greeny's defense, the phrase was first used by Curt Gowdy and Ray Scott. LOL.

Chris Berman is a stolen hairpiece away from being that scary IBM "BladeCenter" guy.

between ditka's marbles in the mouth style and greeny's high pitched squealing I agree Golic is coming across as actually sounding like a pro

Player introductions in the second quarter? This really is a joke game.

Golic is auditioning for the real MNF booth next year when TK leaves.

I bet Golic could slowly push Ditka's chair away from the mic and he wouldn't know.

If he's auditioning, knowing ESPN, he'd be better suited if he demonstrated that he had no talent.

yep, you gotten loosen up the ass before you give anal to ditka right greeny?? just like the san fran defense?

Tully Blanchard-Cain

Greenberg is just plain awful.

His opening comment:

"...in this match-up of long time division rivals..."

Yeah, dating alllllll the way back to 2002.

On a first quater pass to Frank Gore:

"...he makes the catch and then it's just vintage Frank Gore."

Vintage WHO? The guy blows out his knee in college, sits behing Kevan Barlow, then has one good season and suddenly his playing style is so well known that it carries the "vintage" moniker.

Greeny, I stopped listening to your pathetic radio show in 2003 and I'm presently watching the SF-AZ game with the TV volume so low that I can hear my keyboard louder than your whiny voice.

Please. Go replace Pat O'Brien on ACCESS HOLLYWOOD.

Mike Ditka is giving more advice on running an offense.

This from a guy who thought he could make the playoffs in his last job with two Billy Joes, Heath Shuler and Danny Wuerffel at quarterback.

i think i just heard "slap them on the ass and say 'that's how you do it. get off in their face a little bit...'"

i know it's 3rd grade, but that's what he said =/

In case you missed it, coming back from the last commercial[before the kickoff], Greeny dropped this gem....

"Back in San Francisco, we're off to a very shaky start..."

If you only knew Greeny. If you only knew.

Kevan Barlow? Didn't he go to Pitt?

Jeesh, you drinking the same IC Light Ditka is? ;o)

That 70's Show on FX is much better than this POS game

Mike Greenberg is no stranger to playing from behind either, if you know what I mean...

Did Greeny just say Vernon Davis was a 6th round pick?

Greeny sounds like a high school kid calling the JV game on 520 AM The Fan in Oshkosh Wisconsin.

"Things don't change unless you change them."

So, you're saying that things change. Right, Ditka?

"Did Greeny just say Vernon Davis was a 6th round pick?"

Probably. It's sort of like when they call guys drafted in the first round "number-one draft picks"

Is that Ditka or Holtz in the booth?

"Not only was it authentic frontier gibberish, but it expressed a courage that is little seen in this day and age."

Reminds me of the College Gameday sign from Baton Rouge:

"Lou Holtz for Prethedent"

"And the backs from 'tha U' have the scores (in a whiny, nasally voice)."

That's it Greeny. Get all up in their Kool-Aid.

Monday Night Football is the new Ambien.

"he is infectous" - Ditka

That's not a word.

I hate those 49ers Ronald McDonald socks...they look like a bunch of pedophiles.

Anyone else wonder what the hell Nessler and Vermeil did to get bumped off the second game this year?

Oh yeah, they were competent and good at their job.

I'm surprised no one has done the Bill Simmons/Greeny comparison yet. At this point I'd put up with Bill's recycled 90210 jokes and Tom Brady praises over Erin Andr....Greeny

Greeny: "What can you say (about the paralyzed player)?"

Then he proceeds to "say" for about 10 seconds.

I don't know if it's en vogue to complain about commercials, but I really wish UPS would dump this guy with the dry-erase marker and go right back to "what can brown do for you?" Also, I am eight years old.

The open your effing eyes Greeny.

"Carpoolers" looks funny. About as funny as "Cavemen."

i think the mike's are doing a pretty good job. you guys are just being critical for the sake of being critical.

greenberg please go back to your former life as a know-it-all pundit-at large-talking-head. The nfl is no place to play like you are an announcer.

What's worse: That a situation arose during the game where Ditka would say a sentence like "I got the glasses in a briefcase!", or that it's really not all that surprising?

Thank god we have some peace and quiet for a bit...oh wait nevermind we get Chris Berman

I'm being overly critical because my mom didn't hug enough as a child.

Now we need to call Berman out on his shit.

"CD-(a)Ramis Ramirez"

I actually like the job the 3 Mikes are doing. Not perfect, but better than 90% of the announcing teams I've heard recently. They sure as hell are better than the weekly crapfest that is Tirico/Jaws/Kornheiser. Maybe I've just developed really low expectations for announcers.

So it's half time. ESPN will surely be covering what happened in the first half, maybe talking about what adjustments will be made in the second half...oh no wait...a preview of the WOMEN'S WORLD CUP!!! AWESOME!!! Go kill yourself ESPN.

Greenberg just said "Kanye's CD drops tomorrow."

Greenberg is so ghetto.

Greenie's performance makes Britney's look awesome.