The Pam Ward Chronicles: Week Five

Saturday, September 29, 2007


Welcome back to our weekly installment of The Pam Ward Chronicles. I'm going to be keeping track of the Announcing Quotes throughout the day and I ask that you join in. Please leave any that you come across in the comments or feel free to email me at AwfulAnnouncing@Gmail.com. Other goodness will be happening underneath this post so be sure to check it out.

Now I don't know if we're going to get a Mike Patrick-Britney Spears moment again, but I'll be looking for it.

Here are the standings after four weeks........

1. Chris Spielman (23)
2. Gary Danielson (19)
3. Brad Nessler (18)
4. Bob Griese, Lee Corso (16)
6. Mike Patrick (10)
7. Pat Haden, Dave Pasch (9)
9. Paul Maguire, Mike Patrick, and Gerry Dinardo (8)

Others Receiving Votes: Mark Jones (7), Brent Musburger (7), Sean McDonough (7), Tim Brandt (6), John Saunders (6), Charles Arbuckle (5), Ray Bentley (5), Mike Tirico (4), Dan Fouts (4), Desmond Howard (3), Jim Donnan (3), Doug Flutie (3.5), Pam Ward (3), Erin Andrews (3), Craig James (2.5), Todd Blackledge (2), Andre Ware (4), Gerry Dinardo (1),

College Football Week #5 Announcing Teams (Awful Announcing)
_______________________________________________

We're starting off the day with a couple of great exchanges between Chris Fowler and Craig James.....

“Bring it to the middle of the field and you will see the right hand of fellowship. Pass the offering plates at this moment”- Craig James
(the next play goes off)
“Along the fletch lines…..demons out.”- Craig James
Ooooookay.- Chris Fowler

James would not stop making jokes about one of Boise State's Player who was a minister. You could tell Fowler was getting pretty annoyed. But then there was this exchange sent in by Anon.....

The Thursday booth got off topic (what a shock with James and Flutie in the booth!) and started talking about Craig James' ranch, and well, Fowler ended up quoting Brokeback Mountain.

"I just can't quit you, Craig" – Chris Fowler

Nice! Brokeback Mountain jokes are still in!!!

"(Wisconsin will win) because Michigan State has a culture of carelessness with the ball" - Desmond Howard (Via Matt)

I caught that one too. A culture Desmond? Really???

"The number was incorrect, but it was offsides anywhere."- Pam Ward

Good morning Erin! Green at Notre Dame huh?



Pam Ward trying to pronounce Cajun names. This is going to be fun. The first one she got wrong was "Guidroz" (it's Gee-droz). Ward #2: It's ZEE-non, not Zinnen (Via Anon)

"Johnson lost himself a fifth grader, about 50 or 60 pounds." - Ray Bentley (Via S2N)

Can Rob Simkjlkmkjjear please stop saying that the special jerseys are raising funds for a big step back or New Orleans. It's the opposite of what you think it is Rob.

Did Pam Ward just say Hurricane Katrina happened 18 months ago? It happened in August of 2005, which is more than 24 months ago. Either Pammy is bad at math or doesn't care about black people. (Via S2N)

And now for a video nomination.....



First of all that Field Goal attempt is crazy. I haven't seen one hit off the top of the upright either. Second, Pam....baby. If a ball hits any part of the goal post it can't be short.

"It almost looks like he hits right on top. Bam...right there it did. I've never seen that before Pam."- Ray Bentley
"Pat, 2 for 2 between 30 and 39 yards, but that one was....short."- Pam Ward

I have to suggest that Pammy was right in calling that kick 'short'. If the kick goes over the upright the field goal is good....but it has to go over the upright. That kick did not go over the upright...it hit it...while it was not short of the goalpost..it was short of being a made field goal.- Matt

I dunno about that Matt....most Field Goals are only called short if they don't reach the goal posts. That kick was definitely not short because it had the distance to be good. Oh well...we can Agree to Disagree!!!

"Sometimes when you're a Quarterback you have to win with your arm."- Andre Ware

Riiiiight Andre. Riiiiight.

"Again, the key to making first downs is moving the chains."- Larry Coker (Via Eric)

Hey a Larry Coker sighting!

Erin Andrews interviewing Purdue Basketball Coach Matt Painter.....

"How do you and Coach Tiller piggyback off of each other."- Erin Andrews

Ewwwwww.

"Architecture is something that people need in New Orleans."- Pam Ward (Via Anon)

"If they can stay close to LSU going into the 4th quarter...get them in that deep water."- Ray Bentley (Via Anon)

What a horrible analogy to use for a city that was covered in water after Katrina. Terrible.

After two kickoffs go out of bounds they show the UConn special teams coach Lyndon Johnson on camera.

“There might be impeachment papers filed if this kick goes out of bounds.” - Bob Wischusen (Via Steve)

This Weekend's Sign of the Apocalypse.....

"Notre Dame is just not a good football team" - Lou Holtz (Via Anon)

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! The end is near if Holtz is talking bad about ND.
________________________________________

I have to separate this out because Pam Ward is going for the all-time record of ridiculous statements in the first half of this game. She is dreadful.

Did Pam just compare New Orleans to Malibu? Because Tulane and Pepperdine are both the Waves?- Anon

Did Pam just call a kickoff a punt????????- Anon

Yes on both accounts. Video of the punt comment will be coming soon.



"There's the little guy Trindon Holloway."- Pam Ward, It's Holliday Pam.

"That'll bring up 3rd and 2...do you think about going for it here?"- Thom Brenanman (Via Matt)

"Stopped for virtually no gain"- Pam Ward (Via Anon)

I hate that phrase. It doesn't tell me anything. Did he gain yards or not?

"LSU is looking like a number two right now."- Ray Bentley, LSU looks like crap. Thanks to my 3rd grade humor that one made me chuckle a bit.

"This is an A Number 1, Class Triple A eating town."- Pam Ward

"They call (Tulane) the 'Stanford of the South.'"- Ray Bentley

I'm from South Louisiana. Nicholls State calls itself "Harvard on the Bayou."That doesn't make it true.- Anon
_______________________________

S2N here, keep all the good quotes coming, folks. I'll be watching Cal-Oregon and stomaching Dan Fouts' play-by-play.

"Golden Tate is what we call a playmaker. Just makes plays." - Andre Ware

ESPN, I'm begging you -- please promote Erin Andrews to color, or something -- just get Andre out of the booth.

Not announcer-related and I can't capture the video, but did anyone else catch the Oregon Duck doing the line-ups with a very, very creepy voiceover?

"Jermaine Gresham is 6'6, 260 yards, er pounds" - Dave Lapham (via Mookie)

"Coming from the blind side, and I don't think [Tyler Donovan] envisioned that." - Brad Nessler, on the Wisconsin QB getting sacked
"You never want to envision that!" - Bob Griese

"I know you watch some of those shows. I know you watched Boston Legal last night." - Nessler to Griese

"It looked like [Dennis Dixon] overthrew him and it just stuck to his gloves like Teflon." - Tim Brant

Um, Timmy, I believe Teflon is supposed to help stuff NOT STICK.

"DAN DIERDORF-ISM ALERT:

Brought to you by Overstock.com. It's All About the "O". - Joel Meyers
And it's "all about the 'O'" for Oklahoma now. - Dave Lapham (thanks Anon!)

There is no better name than Dierdorfism for that. Thanks again.

"Did they get him on the 'grill?'"--Joel Meyers (via Anon)

"We are looking at possibly the biggest upset in college football this season." - Joel Meyers, who was promptly reminded by Dave Lapham that App State over UM is probably still bigger than a CU over OU potential upset.

"'(Cody Hawkins) reminds me of Jon Kitna'--Dave Lapham

Why? Did he say God cured him of a concussion? - Anon"

I don't care who you are, that's just funny.

"That's one of those babies that you hear outside of the stadium." - Maguire, on a helmet to helmet hit by a MSU player on Wisky's Kyle Jefferson.

CU upsets OU because THIS IS DIVISION ONE FOOTBALL, BROTHER!!!

"I like it, because now you don't have to think about how many time outs are left, just look at the top of the screen." - Nessler
"Griese explains the thing every week." - Maguire
"It's still early in the football season, Paul. I'm going to highlight them again later." - Griese
"Bob, you draw the best balls I've ever seen." - Maguire

I hope he did mean on the TeleStrator. Regardless, John Madden would like to take issue with Griese's TeleStrator dick drawing and have a contest.

"And you think the biggest factor of the first quarter is...." - Verne Lundquist
"The wind. Gosh, if I close my eyes, a Big 10 game's liable to roll in any second." - Gary Danielson

"Deon Curry making curry powder out of the Wisconsin defense" - Nessler (thank you Anon)

I swear, if it weren't for Pam Ward, this quote board would have to be named for the Nessler-Griese-Maguire triumverate. These guys are good for at least five brain locks/moronic quotes a game.

"Two full time-outs. I could eat lunch with that long." - Gary Danielson

"And now, NC State is movin' but they're MO has been they'll get some things going and can't keep it quite get going."-Charles Arbuckle. (Via Eric, who asks what that means, and to me, it does not compute, much like Tom O'Brien's offense.)

Aside: The sideline reporter on Cal-Oregon just did the crappiest piece on the Duck mascot "serving time" after the fight with the Houston Cougars' mascot a few weeks back.

"Bonnie's [Bernstein] player of the week [Andre Woodson, Kentucky QB]: As soon as she picks him, next week, he gets a pick." - Griese
"Well, he had five TDs today." - Maguire
"But he still had a pick." - Griese

Folks, leave the rest in the comments, and AA will get to them for the best of for Monday. I've got some I-AA football to attend this evening.

________________________________________

Here are the rest of the nominees from yesterday. Thanks S2N for filling in for as long as you could. Much appreciated.

"I was listening to the USC-Washington game on ESPN Radio (presumably to get away from Brent Musberger), only to have them do a flashback to the Colorado-Michigan Hail Mary (for some reason) voiced by Musberger saying that "Brian Westbrook caught the pass from Kordell Stewart." (Via Anon)

"Trev, we talked about how penalties really don't have much of an impact on the game except when they happen in the blue zone or the red zone or whatever you call it."- Tom Hart (Via Eric)

That's just terrible.

Announcers indicate that the final score of the OU @ Colorado game have not been announced and will not be announced. That the PR folks at UT have made a decision to withhold that information. FSN Announcer: "So no one in the stadium knows that OU has lost the game."

Uhhhhhhh? Did the UT administration also shut down all the cell phone towers in the area? And they removed all wi-fi equipment? Not a SINGLE PERSON knows? (Via Bond J. Bond)

They don't have computers? That's just odd.

"They started classes this week, so that was a distraction"- Bob Davie (As submitter HA says....it's COLLEGE Football, I think they're used to classes. Well unless it's Florida State we're talking about)

"He grasps about 85% of our package...."- Quint Kessenich (Via KJ)

"Forget conservative, [Auburn]'re going into Hilary territory on the field."- Mike Patrick on a Tigers 4th down conversion.
(Via CR)

Posted by Awful Announcing- at 11:59 PM

88 Comments:

"(Wisconsin will win) because Michigan State has a culture of carelessness with the ball" - Desmond Howard.

Huh? A culture?

Matt said...
Sep 29, 2007, 11:53:00 AM  

Pam Ward trying to pronounce Cajun names. This is going to be fun.

The first one she got wrong was "Guidroz" (it's Gee-droz)

Anonymous said...
Sep 29, 2007, 12:08:00 PM  

"Johnson lost himself a fifth grader, about 50 or 60 pounds." - Ray Bentley

Signal to Noise said...
Sep 29, 2007, 12:10:00 PM  

Ward #2: It's ZEE-non, not Zinnen

Anonymous said...
Sep 29, 2007, 12:15:00 PM  

Not a quote, but is it necessary to make plays off people's names? Andre Ware's Hard-ware and Soft-ware points to the game? Ray Bentley's Bentley of the game or whatever its called.

Justin Williams said...
Sep 29, 2007, 12:19:00 PM  

I can't stand that either Justin. The best was when Dave Pasch had to explain the difference of hardware and software to Andre in week one.

Sep 29, 2007, 12:22:00 PM  

I liked ESPN airing the Bob Toledo "If Boise State can beat Oklahoma, Tulane can beat LSU" pregame speech.

Actually, kudos to the ESPN cameraman for not cackling uncontrollably when he said that.

Anonymous said...
Sep 29, 2007, 12:28:00 PM  

Hahaha...that was a little ridiculous. I also think Tulane just ran the first 5 man reverse.

Sep 29, 2007, 12:30:00 PM  

Nobody's watching Notre Dame, right?

GOOD

Remember, they are not worth your hate. Don't increase their ratings. They'll just stay on TV

Anonymous said...
Sep 29, 2007, 12:31:00 PM  

Ray just said that Tulane players are "motivated" because they weren't recruited by LSU.

Actually, most of Tulane's players are guys who weren't recruited by LSU, Ole Miss, Mississippi State, Southern Miss, LA Tech, UL Lafayette, Southern University, Nicholls State, and some junior colleges

Anonymous said...
Sep 29, 2007, 12:33:00 PM  

Something about Erin Andrews saying "Charlie Weiss took the wristbands off of Jimmy Clausen this week"...

It sounds...sort of....dirty in a "Miss Heather on CSI" kind of way

Matt said...
Sep 29, 2007, 12:33:00 PM  

Did Pam Ward just say Hurricane Katrina happened 18 months ago? It happened in August of 2005, which is more than 24 months ago. Either Pammy is bad at math or doesn't care about black people.

matt - I heard that, and I thought I heard "chains". It was followed by EA talking about how she looked in his eyes. I bet she saw hunger.

Signal to Noise said...
Sep 29, 2007, 12:39:00 PM  

She did S2N....I thought the same exact thing.

Sep 29, 2007, 12:41:00 PM  

I'll defend her on that one, STN. She said 13 months. But she was talking about the timeline from when Katrina happened to the reopening of the Superdome, or as some uninformed people say, the moment when New Orleans was finally rebuilt.

Anonymous said...
Sep 29, 2007, 12:42:00 PM  

I love Erin Andrews. That's it.

B-Sells said...
Sep 29, 2007, 12:47:00 PM  

Pam said to "get your thumbs ready." Oh, she's talking about a remote control. Damn.

Anonymous said...
Sep 29, 2007, 12:47:00 PM  

AA, I know you have written about how the terms "____gate" and "(insert team here) Nation" annoy you.

They don't annoy me more than the phrase "ESPN Family of Networks."

God, shut up with that one.

Anonymous said...
Sep 29, 2007, 12:49:00 PM  

I have to suggest that Pammy was right in calling that kick 'short'.

If the kick goes over the upright the field goal is good....but it has to go over the upright.

That kick did not go over the upright...it hit it...while it was not short of the goalpost..it was short of being a made field goal.

I just defended Pam Ward..see you guys in the second half after I go shower.

Matt said...
Sep 29, 2007, 12:52:00 PM  

Bentley said that a wet Tiger Stadium field last week was "a little chunked up."

Funny, it didn't look fat to me.

Anonymous said...
Sep 29, 2007, 12:56:00 PM  

I know that it was alluded to in the introduction of the offensive lineups, but how soon before we have the weekly "Matt Flynn Looks Like Matt Damon" graphic?

Anonymous said...
Sep 29, 2007, 12:59:00 PM  

How about this gem?

"Again, the key to making first downs is moving the chains."-Larry Coker

Eric said...
Sep 29, 2007, 12:59:00 PM  

Tulane is waiting until 2010-2011 to bring back women's bowling?

I tell you what, Tulane. I'll give you fifty bucks. Bring it back this year.

Anonymous said...
Sep 29, 2007, 1:03:00 PM  

Erin...you need a lesson in irony..

It is not ironic that Matt Painter and Curtis Painter have the same last name...

Maybe a tad curious...but it is not ironic...

Have we learned nothing from Alanis Morrisette's misuse of the song?

Oops...EA just asked Matt Painter how he and Joe Tiller piggyback off each other...there's a whole lot of flesh in that mental image

Matt said...
Sep 29, 2007, 1:05:00 PM  

"Architecture is something that people need in New Orleans."--Pam Ward

Well, that and money.

Anonymous said...
Sep 29, 2007, 1:12:00 PM  

Matt, I heard that too and was about to retch. At least Gene Keady and his combover aren't coaching Purdue hoops any more -- that's the only way the image could get worse.

Anon @ 12:42 - OK, I'm totally willing to accept that, because I'm still fighting through my Saturday morning hangover and stuff is coming through kinda fuzzy.

Signal to Noise said...
Sep 29, 2007, 1:14:00 PM  

Good job Ray. He almost made the stereotypical "black people eat soul food" reference. "Forte likes to go home and get home cooking. Some black.......beans."

How awkward

Anonymous said...
Sep 29, 2007, 1:17:00 PM  

"I don't know what his 40 time is, but he ran down Jimmy Clausen like he was being timed for a 40." - Andre Ware

I know he was trying to say that the dude was fast for a defensive lineman, but sheesh.

Signal to Noise said...
Sep 29, 2007, 1:24:00 PM  

"If they can stay close to LSU going into the 4th quarter...get them in that deep water."--Ray Bentley

Bad analogy for a city that was "in that deep water" two years ago. That's why these two teams are playing.

Anonymous said...
Sep 29, 2007, 1:24:00 PM  

Bob Toledo might be the anti-Holtz.

Anonymous said...
Sep 29, 2007, 1:32:00 PM  

After two kickoffs go out of bounds they show the UConn special teams coach Lyndon Johnson on camera.

“There might be impeachment papers filed if this kick goes out of bounds.” - Bob Wischusen

Steve said...
Sep 29, 2007, 1:36:00 PM  

After two kickoffs go out of bounds they show the UConn special teams coach Lyndon Johnson on camera.

“There might be impeachment papers filed if this kick goes out of bounds.” - Bob Wischusen

Steve said...
Sep 29, 2007, 1:36:00 PM  

Did Pam just call a kickoff a punt????????

Anonymous said...
Sep 29, 2007, 1:36:00 PM  

Apocalyptic sign....

"Notre Dame is just not a good football team" - Lou Holtz

It's actually good analysis...astute...and the opposite of what we are making fun of...

BUT LOU HOLTZ FINALLY SAID ND BLOWS!!

Matt said...
Sep 29, 2007, 1:38:00 PM  

Holy shit she did call it a punt! Video will be up soon.

Sep 29, 2007, 1:40:00 PM  

Did Pam just compare New Orleans to Malibu? Because Tulane and Pepperdine are both the Waves?

Anonymous said...
Sep 29, 2007, 1:41:00 PM  

anon @ 1:36, AA -- wasn't that the kick after the safety? If so, technically, that is a punt, even though it's kicked off, I think.

Signal to Noise said...
Sep 29, 2007, 1:42:00 PM  

No. It was after the Tulane touchdown.

Anonymous said...
Sep 29, 2007, 1:43:00 PM  

No Anon is right....it was after the Tulane TD. Hilarious.

Sep 29, 2007, 1:46:00 PM  

By the way, it goes without saying that LSU looks terrible. But don't freak out unless they lose.

They looked nearly this bad in the first half against Mississippi State, one week before they week 48-7.

But LSU won't light it up in the second half unless Perriloux gets in there.

Anonymous said...
Sep 29, 2007, 1:46:00 PM  

Won 48-7. Excuse me. Against a then-top ten team.

Anonymous said...
Sep 29, 2007, 1:47:00 PM  

WOW. That's some new levels of suck. Do we have to start a "The Greatness that is Pam Ward" tag?

Signal to Noise said...
Sep 29, 2007, 1:47:00 PM  

Yeah Anon....Flynn does not look good at all. If they put Ryan P. in they'll blow them away.

Sep 29, 2007, 1:47:00 PM  

I'm sorry...but this stupid endless pool commercial cracks me up...in particular olympic gold medalist rowdy gaines telling us

"A regular pool, first of all you have turns you have to concentrate on."

I wonder how he managed to win those gold medals concentrating on all those turns.

Matt said...
Sep 29, 2007, 1:51:00 PM  

LSU is favored by -21.5 in the 2nd half. Hmmm.

Sep 29, 2007, 1:53:00 PM  

Wish I knew whether Ryan P. was coming in the game. If they are sticking with Flynn then I would be all over Tulane.

Sep 29, 2007, 1:53:00 PM  

Nobody's watching Notre Dame, right?

GOOD.

Remember, this Notre Dame team is not worth your hate. Ignore them, don't watch them, and maybe they'll finally be off our television sets.

Anonymous said...
Sep 29, 2007, 1:56:00 PM  

Remember, this Notre Dame team is not worth your hate. Ignore them, don't watch them, and maybe they'll finally be off our television sets.

I think this is the sole reason ESPN put Erin Andrews in Indiana.

Sep 29, 2007, 1:59:00 PM  

Nobody's watching Notre Dame, right?

GOOD.

Remember, this Notre Dame team is not worth your hate. Ignore them, don't watch them, and maybe they'll finally be off our television sets.

Anonymous said...
Sep 29, 2007, 1:59:00 PM  

Something weird is going on here. That Notre Dame comment already showed up once in the first quarter.

Hmmm.

Anonymous said...
Sep 29, 2007, 2:00:00 PM  

That'll bring up 3rd and 2...do you think about going for it here?
- Thom Brenanman

The mistake here was that it was 4th and 2....but when I heard it I couldn't figure out why Brenaman asked Chaz Davis that question

Matt said...
Sep 29, 2007, 2:04:00 PM  

Maybe Brennaman wanted to mispronounce "third" one more time

"Tud and 2"

Anonymous said...
Sep 29, 2007, 2:06:00 PM  

Flynn's still in

SELL! SELL! SELL!

Anonymous said...
Sep 29, 2007, 2:09:00 PM  

I think we need a shot of the booth in the superdome...if Pam has a big bunch of beads...we know why she's a little 'off' today.

Matt said...
Sep 29, 2007, 2:16:00 PM  

And Pam, we Louisianians pronounce our "Lafayette" like "laugh," not "loff." You're not covering a Big11Ten game this week.

Anonymous said...
Sep 29, 2007, 2:27:00 PM  

Wow. ESPN has a ton of background info on the Tulane player from The Bronx. I'm so surprised.

Anonymous said...
Sep 29, 2007, 2:41:00 PM  

"Stopped for virtually no gain"--Pam Ward

So...are you saying he gained yardage?

Anonymous said...
Sep 29, 2007, 2:44:00 PM  

Pam's talking about the food in New Orleans.

I wonder if she's tried the raw oysters at Cooter Brown's. If you live near New Orleans, you know. Yes, it's a real place, and a damn good one.

Too groce?

Anonymous said...
Sep 29, 2007, 2:58:00 PM  

You know what's interesting...Pam isn't in the Top 10 of her own award...I think she's making a run for it today!

Anonymous said...
Sep 29, 2007, 3:02:00 PM  

Did anybody else just hear Rece Davis (Filling in for a missing John Saunders on ABC) say that Georgia Tech suffered a heartbreaking victory last weekend? I wasn't paying much attention and I believe he said it.

Anonymous said...
Sep 29, 2007, 3:11:00 PM  

You're right on that one Anon. She'll make a huge jump unless Mike Patrick brings up Lindsay Lohan.

I missed the Rece thing. What does that even mean?

Sep 29, 2007, 3:11:00 PM  

"They call (Tulane) the 'Stanford of the South.'"--Ray Bentley.

I'm from South Louisiana. Nicholls State calls itself "Harvard on the Bayou."

That doesn't make it true.

Most accurately, Tulane is a "safety school" for rich East Coast kids who screwed up their chances to go Ivy League.

Anonymous said...
Sep 29, 2007, 3:14:00 PM  

Did Pam just talk about former LSU quarterback "Marcus Russell?"

Anonymous said...
Sep 29, 2007, 3:20:00 PM  

Okay guys....I'm running out for the better part of the day. Keep the comments coming as S2N will be adding them to the thread.

Cheers,
BP

Sep 29, 2007, 3:21:00 PM  

anon @ 3:14 - heard that and got a chuckle.

"Golden Tate is what we call a playmaker. Just makes plays." - Andre Ware.

Signal to Noise said...
Sep 29, 2007, 3:22:00 PM  

Anyone else catch that guy with a giant traffic cone that said "up yours nd"

Anonymous said...
Sep 29, 2007, 3:24:00 PM  

anon - yes. fucking hilarious.

Signal to Noise said...
Sep 29, 2007, 3:33:00 PM  

Speaking of calling colleges of different regions something else, how about this one:
They call Stansbury the Harvard of the West. - Saved by the Bell.

B-Sells said...
Sep 29, 2007, 3:36:00 PM  

"Jermaine Gresham is 6'6, 260 yards, er pounds"- Dave Lapham, FSN for OU/Colorado

Mookie said...
Sep 29, 2007, 3:45:00 PM  

Maybe Stanford is actually "The Tulane of the Bay Area"

Anonymous said...
Sep 29, 2007, 4:09:00 PM  

DAN DIERDORF-ISM ALERT:

Oklahoma/Colorado. I don't know the crew.

PBP: Brought to you by Overstock.com. It's All About the "O".
COLOR: And it's "all about the 'O'" for Oklahoma now.

Anonymous said...
Sep 29, 2007, 4:21:00 PM  

"Did they get him on the 'grill?'"--Joel Meyers

Word, Joel. Word.

Anonymous said...
Sep 29, 2007, 4:43:00 PM  

"(Cody Hawkins) reminds me of Jon Kitna"--Dave Lapham

Why? Did he say God cured him of a concussion?

Anonymous said...
Sep 29, 2007, 4:58:00 PM  

i'm obviously watching the rutgers game, and since it's ABC's fifth-string team, of course it's awful.

i don't know either of their names, but on rutgers' last drive alone...

1) RU gets the ball with about 1:45 left down 11. RU passes twice in a row to start the drive. analyst dude points out how if your RU and running is your thing, you hate to get out of that now that you're down.

well, numbnuts, it's what we call a "two-minute drill." kinda tough to go 80 yards in 100 seconds by handing off 10 times.

2) tiquan underwood makes a close catch near the sideline. while the next play is halted and the ref announces the review, analyst guy and no. 5 announcer guy are going on and on about nothing. the ref had the headphones on before any mention of a review taking place happens.

sorry i don't have quotes, but these two are killing me.

Lozo said...
Sep 29, 2007, 5:04:00 PM  

Lozo, that's Terry Gannon and David Norrie. "Numbnuts" is an appropriate moniker for either one of them.

Signal to Noise said...
Sep 29, 2007, 5:08:00 PM  

Honestly, if you lived in Michigan, you'd agree with Desmond. Seriously, it's basically a tradition up there. If they win today, guarantee NW beats them next week, cause MSU always wins big games then lose the next week (see them blowing out Wisconsin a few years ago and then blowing their shot at a bowl berth against someone terrible).

Anonymous said...
Sep 29, 2007, 5:20:00 PM  

Point of fact: Syracuse over Louisville was a bigger upset than either App. St. or Colorado.

Evan said...
Sep 29, 2007, 5:32:00 PM  

Oh HELL no.

Anonymous said...
Sep 29, 2007, 5:35:00 PM  

"Deon Curry making curry powder out of the Wisconsin defense" - Nessler

Anonymous said...
Sep 29, 2007, 5:41:00 PM  

"And now, NC State is movin' but they're MO has been they'll get some things going and can't keep it quite get going."-Charles Arbuckle

What does that mean?

Eric said...
Sep 29, 2007, 5:51:00 PM  

Did Nessler just say something about PJ Hill running it up their (OLinemen's) butts?

Anonymous said...
Sep 29, 2007, 6:50:00 PM  

Did Nessler just say something about PJ Hill running it up their (OLinemen's) butts?

Anonymous said...
Sep 29, 2007, 6:50:00 PM  

Dan Fouts is getting turned on by this Oregon drive.

Mookie said...
Sep 29, 2007, 7:01:00 PM  

Foutsy was ticked that Oregon screwed up.

Mookie said...
Sep 29, 2007, 7:10:00 PM  

Late third quarter of ALA/FSU:

Danielson- "As it gets darker, the wind is less and less of a factor."

Cut to a shot of a flag whipping in the wind.

Danielson- "Oh."

Anonymous said...
Sep 29, 2007, 7:29:00 PM  

I was listening to the USC-Washington game on ESPN Radio (presumably to get away from Brent Musberger), only to have them do a flashback to the Colorado-Michigan Hail Mary (for some reason) voiced by Musberger saying that "Brian Westbrook caught the pass from Kordell Stewart."

Anonymous said...
Sep 29, 2007, 9:59:00 PM  

"Trev, we talked about how penalties really don't have much of an impact on the game except when they happen in the blue zone or the red zone or whatever you call it."-Tom Hart

Man, for a guy that makes a living announcing football, how do you not know what a red zone is? lol

Eric said...
Sep 30, 2007, 1:10:00 AM  

FSN - KState @ UT in Austin...

Announcers indicate that the final score of the OU @ Colorado game have not been announced and will not be announced. That the PR folks at UT have made a decision to withhold that information.

FSN Announcer: "So no one in the stadium knows that OU has lost the game."

Uhhhhhhh? Did the UT administration also shut down all the cell phone towers in the area? And they removed all wi-fi equipment? Not a SINGLE PERSON knows?

Wow.

Bond J. Bond said...
Sep 30, 2007, 9:51:00 AM  

Take Desmond off there. That was not a stupid statement. You can have a culture of carelessness. Are you dumb??? How many times do coaches and players say "We have to change the culture of losing"??? Or that organization has a "CULTURE of losing"???? You should be on the list for not understanding it.

Joe D said...
Sep 30, 2007, 12:35:00 PM  

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