Prepare Yourself, World - Sports Guy Version 2.0 Is On The Way

Friday, September 14, 2007

(posted by OMDQ)

Has this news slipped under the radar, or am I just the only person in the world who didn't realize Bill Simmons and his wife are expecting their second child soon?

The Sports Gal mentioned in her weekly mini-rant that she is "eight and a half months pregnant and [has] a giant bowling ball in my stomach. I can't sleep and I pee every hour on the hour. Every time I lay down, I feel like someone's kicking field goals inside me." Have I ever mentioned how happy I am that men are physically incapable of carrying children?

If I'm reading everything correctly, she has about six weeks left before TSG v2.0 is spawned. As she notes, this means that the first male child of Bill Simmons will be born near the end of October - timing that could prove terrible for a huge fan of the Red Sox, Celtics and Patriots.

Her reaction to his sports viewing habits is tremendous, however:

"I wish Bill was carrying this kid and I could go over to a friend's house to watch TV for eight straight hours under the flimsy excuse that "it's my job." Yeah, it was also your job not to knock me up in time for football season."

I have a new appreciation for this woman. That's some raw, angry, "I'm in my third trimester and I hate anything with a penis" commentary right there.

Posted by One More Dying Quail at 10:33 PM


Yeah, your math is a little off, unless the human gestation period has been altered to include an additional month.

Otherwise, yeah, that was news to me also.

The Hog Blogger said...
Sep 15, 2007, 1:42:00 AM  

Pregnancies are actually measured in lunar weeks, with a full-term pregnancy lasting 40 weeks.

The Sports Gal wrote that she was 8 1/2 months pregnant, so you'd
think she has two weeks to go. Not exactly. She also writes that she'll be carrying the child for ten months and that he will be born around Game Six of the World Series, so she's using lunar weeks as well.

Ergo, she's been pregnant for 34 weeks, with six left if the pregnancy goes full term.

Sep 15, 2007, 2:07:00 AM  

Nothing against Simmons -- I still like reading him, but I've got to admit that I'm reading for his wife's stuff more now.

Signal to Noise said...
Sep 15, 2007, 6:07:00 AM  

Simmons still writes? Who knew?

Kevin said...
Sep 15, 2007, 9:02:00 AM  

assuming, of course, that it IS his wife writing her stuff.

odessasteps said...
Sep 15, 2007, 9:44:00 AM  

I like how she threatened to name the kid Peyton Manning Simmons if he fucks up during the home stretch. She really knows how to hit him where it hurts.

Phil said...
Sep 15, 2007, 11:38:00 AM  

the only thing worse than giving simmons bandwitdh is giving the woman bandwitdh

dan said...
Sep 15, 2007, 4:20:00 PM  

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