I was forced to miss the day here on Saturday because my wife's cousin (and our son's godmother) was getting married and we kinda sorta felt I ought to be there. It was a nice day, for the most part - the ceremony ended just before a long, nasty thunderstorm tore through, they had it catered by Texas Roadhouse (seriously, best food I've ever had at a wedding), and my kid was an absolute hit.
The bad: my wife was bombed out of her mind (thanks to an open bar and a year away from alcohol) by about eight and sober by ten, I snapped somewhat needlessly at my mother-in-law, and the past week kicked my ass so completely that I spent the last 2 1/2 hours on a couch in the living room, holding my son and watching South Florida vs. Auburn. I do not like South Florida OR Auburn.
Without a doubt, the highlight of the day occurred around six o'clock, I think. I wandered into the house to cool off, saw that they had the Penn State-Notre Dame game on in the living room, and sat down to watch for a few. After about fifteen minutes, as the Jimmy Clausen-led Irish offense came off the field, ESPN ran a montage of "Famous Debuts" featuring Tiger Woods, LeBron James and Sidney Crosby. I looked over at the one guy still left in the room (everyone else had gone back to drinking, looking at hot girls and actually having a good time) and the following exchange took place:
Me: I know they're not comparing Jimmy Clausen to Tiger Woods, LeBron James and Sidney Crosby...are they?
The Other Guy: The guy's awesome. He's gonna suck this year, but by the time he's a junior, he'll be great.
Me: And Ron Powlus was supposed to win three Heismans.
The Other Guy: Good point, good point.
Without a doubt, that was the fastest I have ever been with a comeback. It's like Ron Powlus and his seemingly untapped potential (although
Wikipedia says he was actually a pretty solid QB) have been at the front of my brain for the last decade, just waiting to be dropped into a random conversation at a family member's wedding, and I did not disappoint. When the time came, I was there. Never have I been so proud of myself. I felt just like Meg Ryan in "You've Got Mail" when she finally hit Tom Hanks with a verbal bitchslap and was so proud of herself...except I'm pretty sure the guy I was talking to is not my secret online "friend".
The larger sticking point, however, was the comparison of Clausen to the three athletes mentioned above. What exactly was ESPN trying to sell us with this segment? That Clausen will, like Woods, become arguably the greatest player in the history of his sport? That he will, like James, be a dominant force capable of willing his team to victory whenever he feels like it? That he has been compared to an all-time great in his sport (Joe Namath doesn't count) and is being widely counted on to "save" his game from irrelevance?
Or are they just trying to annoy me? Probably.
The funniest thing was, at the time Clausen was 8-10 for 56 yards, and Mike Patrick said that his performance was more impressive Tiger, Bron, and Sydney. 8-10 for 56 yards! Mike Patrick is an idiot, but his producer had to goad him into saying that. I can't believe he's that dumb.