"Two Dolla, Make Ya Holla!"

"We can tell you're a bear, you don't have to spell it out for us."

"Aw, sooky sooky!"

"Hey baby, how 'bout we go back my den and share a salmon and a tall glass of river water?"

Shouldn't that mascot be a goose?

It's sad when your sideline reporter has a money on her back. It's even sadder when it's a bear.

"Jesus, I though Bruce Pearlman's back was hairy."

As long as you're feeling charitable, could you help a brother out with a "happy ending" this weekend? I'm a little light. That chick in the photo will do just fine.

If you could see the bear's other hand, you would understand her smile

Hey babe, ever heard of doing it bear style?

I didn't know Connie Chung did basketball. Wow, from "Big Brother" to pro ball, talk about versatility.

That better be an egg roll in your hand.

Nice try, playa, but I was born the year of the tiger.

"Believe what you want, but yes, you are just an average bear...if that."

"Come on, baby, I've been wanting to drill an asian so bad, I can't bear it."

"Come on, you need to change -- we're late for the Furry Convention."

seeing how the vancouver mascot approached pam anderson, other mascots are growing some balls and going after girls in their arenas as well.

Man, Mark Chmura will do anything these days to get some tail

They really need to make another Star Wars movie because Chewbacca is getting desperate for money.

I thought "bears" weren't, y'know, into that.

"Kiss your ass?! Bear it, baby!"

Stacy Paetz does it bear back.

Excuse me, reporter lady. Vlade is ready for interview.

"Um, excuse me, can we talk about that rug in front of your fireplace?"

ahaha you guys are funny is she even asian?

"Hey, Soon-Yi, isn't Woody Allen a little old for you?"

"We do too have something in commmon. We both like fish. Salmon for me, sushi for you."

"Someone's been sleeping in my bed... and she left me Pacers tickets as compensation? I think I'm going to maul her..."

Hmmm, is that honey I smell on your bum?

Smokey the Bear: "This is probably inappropriate, but come on baby, light my fire."

"Please Yogi, I've seen chopsticks with more girth than your little tool."

"Pace yourself hunny, it's guna be a long night."

"C'mon baby, I've been in hibernation all winter. I pitch a tent if the wind blows."

The Martinsville chapter of the Pacers fan club, represented by this gentlemen, has offered to take Kobe out behind the arena and lynch him as that's the only chance the Pacers have tonite.

"Anybody got duck sauce, I'm gonna have me some chinese."

"So you're a 'MASEUSSE' huh? (Wink, Wink, Nudge, Nudge)"

"Hey babe, can you get me a discount at the laundromat?"

Female Bear: "I'm getting a vibe. You wanna see my bear breasts?"

I read somewhere their periods attract bears.

You hear that Ed? Bears! Now you're putting all of FSN at risk!

"Come on, Yoko, Let it Be, who cares what the rest of the world thinks."

"Didn't we meet at the Indy Zoo back in '96? Ball State, am I right?"

"Come on, we're both mammals!"

He is woefully unaware of this black widow's connections to the Asian bile bear market.

Its the sexual harassment...timberwolf...

"Well, you're no Goldilocks, but you'll do."

"No, it's not a metaphor. I literally want to eat you."

"Don't be frightened, darlin'. I'm just a big 'ol teddy bear."

He's trying like a bear, but Stacy's putting up a good defense.

"Come on, this is Indy, you can't do MUCH better than me."

"Do I have flesh in my teeth?"

"Sorry, I'm over my bear fetish. I'm into Bird now."

I guarantee that that bear is better with the mic than Laila Ali.

"Hey, it's the fox from Fox. Foxy, say hello to Papa Bear."

Here we are with starting Center Teen Wolf...so what's up with you and Boof?

"Gotta go, someone's got his hand in my honey pot"

"It's going to be a BEARY good night."

"I PROMISE, I'll just put the tip in."

"They don't call me the 'Bad News Bear' for nuttin', darling."

"My nickname's 'Poo Bear.' No, it has nothing to do with 'Winnie the Pooh."

"Just grin and bear it. Maybe it will go away."

"Hey idiot. When I said 'pause in the action,' that's not what I meant.

"This Golden State defense is really bearing down on the Pacers."

Bear: "I was just never successful with the ladies... UNTIL I discovered the Harold Reynolds School of Mack! Look at this hottie that I'm getting ready to score with..."

"Ewwww! I thought bears shit in the woods!"

After an appetizer consisting of the first three rows of mixed white and dark meat, the bear decided he wanted a taste of ethnic food.

Why did this dork in a suit have to confront my fear of mascots?

Just play dead ... like Kyrylo Fesenko.

It's nice to see that Woody Paige made the short flight from Denver.

Bear Baiting at it's finest.

Stacy Paetz:"You scratch my back, I'll scratch yours."

Bear:"Well Stacy, funny thing is, my back is actually located on my cock."

"Nice beaver. Oh, let me help you with that."

I'm a friggin' bear, how the hell would I know what bukkake is? Sounds like a board game.

Congrats AA on winning the Ballhype contest.

"You prefer your lovers clean shaven all over? Um, that's a dealbreaker."

"We would make beautiful cubs together, baby."

"CHAIR!! I said get me a CHAIR you dumbass intern!"

"Humaniality is such a turn on for me. I think it's because it's so taboo in the animal kingdom."

"Forget it, no more bears for me. The last one didn't turn out too well. The jerk tried the ol' 'slip a claw in my browneye' move. That didn't turn out to well, as you can imagine, and I was SO embarassed at the hospital!!"

"Sorry dude, grizzlies are my type."

Don't make fun of furries. We ARE NOT Freaks!!

"Care for a bear claw, sweetie?"

"You're with me, furry."

"Oh. Shit. I didn't realize "FSN" stood for Forest Service Ninja."

For the first time, Conan's masturbating bear meets a real life woman. Sadly, he blows his chance at love by resorting to masturbating.

"Okay, I'm hairy and husky, but, I'm not THAT variation of a bear. Can we at least have a drink?"

"Oh, you only date polar bears, huh? You racist. And, by the way, once you go brown, you'll always be down."

Stephen Colbert disapproves of this picture. It is just one step away from approving bear marriage.

"Well, maybe if you shaved that hairy ass once in awhile you wouldn't have to worry about those dinglebearies.

"I'm a BEAR! I'm 40!"

Shoddy fencing at the San Francisco Zoo leads to another tragic mauling.

"Stacy! Stacy! Can you hook me up with Troy Aikman? Pretty please with sugar on it?"

All grown up, Baby Bear still remembers Goldilocks...no matter what color she dyes her hair.

Isiah, I know it's you. Give the mascot his costume back and get back to your bench or I'll call Mr. Dolan