If OMDQ is going to open up the confessional regarding his appreciation for Bill Simmmons, I can let my dirty little secret out, too.

I tune out sportscasters. During the Liveblogapocalypse, I had to remind myself to even note who was broadcasting the game. When AA left the door open for Channel Four team members to contribute more to the site, I knew I couldn't cover announcing any better than it is already being done by our fearless leader.

So I'll be looking at sports writing, which has, these days, become sort of the minor leagues for TV punditry anyway. I'll mercilessly root out cliches, expose hackery at every level, and even hand out kudos for good, original insight.

This week, I'll be focusing on the hometown columnists of the Final Four teams. For papers that need a login to read, I've provided a generic login that we can all use:

login ID: awfulwrite@gmail.com password: freeharold

I'll get started after the jump.

We'll start our tour with a West Coast Bias (someone has to have one, right?) The L.A. Times is covering the UCLA Bruins, and the most common angle they're taking is "Bruins want Revenge on Gators". Hey, guys, you have to play another game after that one to win the championship:

Ben Howland says "Stop! Collaborate and Listen..." Best line: ""Sometimes you block out his voice and go on instinct," sophomore Josh Shipp said." Hope you enjoy wind sprints, Josh.

Gin N' Goat Cheese - Arron Afflalo grew up on a farm... in Compton. Best line: "We'd be doing squats up and down the road and horses would chase us."

The Final Four is waaay better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick.

Required reading for the Times staff: The Little Engine That Could.
History Suggests UCLA Loss
Bruins Could Be Gator Meat

Cali lives up to its reputation as a progressive state. Most of the Bruins' Final Four coverage comes from Diane Pucin and Helene Elliott.

Collecting the links is taking a while, so rather than make you wait for a long post about all four teams, I'm going to publish this one now, and put out three more posts the rest of the day to cover the rest of the teams.