Monday Night Football Live-Blog: Dolphins-Steelers 2nd Half

Monday, November 26, 2007


That's a photo of the stands from earlier tonight. I think the rain has stopped but this is by far the worst game I've ever watched.

What's with all of this Global Warming/Al Gore talk with Berman as of late? He mentions it during every bad weather game at this point.

It's 0-0 in case you haven't been paying attention, and for your sake I hope you haven't been. Good news....Ricky is apparently going to be okay, and ESPN gets their storyline back! Excellent!!!

Miami gets the ball to start the 2nd, and there are actually lines on the field! Ginn brings it out, and Suzy is wearing her MNF hat again. Very cute if you ask me.

Chapman for zero, but Ginn picks up a nice 15 yard gain on a pretty throw from Beck. Another completion to Booker picks up a 4 yard gain and a trip across midfield for the first time tonight. Chapman for a first down, and don't look now, but the 'Phins are driving!

FLEA FLICKER!!!!!!!! 14 yard gain. I guess that's as exciting as we're gonna get tonight. 1st and 10 at the 29. Run for Chatman gets nothing and a roll out and incomplete puts it at 3rd and 11.

Hahahahaha....a batted down pass is grabbed by Chatman and they lose 4 yards on a possible Field Goal attempt! Too funny. And Miami is going for it!?!?!?! 4th and 15??? Wait...timeout. They need to punt this thing....it's a 49 yarder if they try the kick.

Lemme Lemme Upgrade Ya!!!

They're actually going for it, and Beck is sacked back at the 40. And you wonder why the Dolphins are 0-10. Just stupid.

Parker for 6, Parker for 1, 3rd and 3 pass to Ward for the first. That seemed easy. Parker for 5, Parker for -1, and Big Ben is sacked for a loss of 8. Steelers punt and it goes inside the ten.

You know what makes a boring game better? SEAL!!! That new album sounds...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

"I think this is what it would be like if you played in a Louisiana bayou"- James

Very much so, but you could at least jump across gator's heads like in Bayou Billy if you were in the 'Glades. These players are sinking.

Chapman picks up a nice first down, and he gets blasted by Anthony Smith. That's another RB down for Miami and they're left with Patrick Cobbs. A drop by Booker and it's 2nd and 10.....sack, Larry Foote. 3rd and 16....Beck with the Bomb!!!!! Nothing. At least he tried something into single coverage. Booker got about an inch off the ground.

Wow...that punt on its own shows you how terrible this field is. It is just planted in the mud and doesn't move. I'm pulling that video.

Steelers ball at the 50....nine yard run for Parker. I'm calling a score right now. Another nice run for Parker and a first down for Pitt at the 34. Wow....another great run by Parker who looked bottled up, and he picks up another 8. Willie gets another 1 yard and it'll be 3rd and short.

Joey Porter stops them! He is still a beast. Holy shit! A field goal attempt.....

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha........not even close.....0-0 my friends.

That missed by about 20 yards left and 15 yards short.


"If Gretchen Wilson is here for the party then she's at the wrong game."- Hanrahan

Hey, I'm having fun. Drinking makes everything more exciting!

End of the 3rd Quarter folks! 0-0 still, and I'm loving every minute!!!

So this game sucks....does anyone wanna come over for a little "Rock Band" action? Beck hits Booker over the middle on third and long and they're in Steelers territory! Cobbs gets about 2 on first down. Deep pass to Booker is nowhere near him, and there's a flag on the field. Penalty on the 'Phins.

A screen to Ted Ginn is too high and incomplete. 3rd and 13, and it's completed!!!!!!!! Beck to Booker! Holy crap, the Dolphins are at the Steelers' 24!

Cobbs gets back to back carries for not much and it's 3rd and long again....The Steelers blitz everyone, and the Dolphins are attempting a 38 yarder.....Feely.....

IT'S BLOCKED!!!! No....delay of game. Great job by the crew to note that this is actually a better spot to kick from. But no....Cam Cameron brings the offense back out?!!?!?!?!?!

Sack, fumble, Pittsburgh ball. Are you kidding me?!?!?!


Parker for 3 followed by a first down pass to Wilson. The rain is back and I'm happy....this 0-0 tie needs to happen!

3rd and 5 for Pitt and Roethlisberger hits Hines Ward and he fall into Dolphins territory at the 38. Damn you Steelers! Stop this driving right now.

Davenport for a few, and Parker for another couple, and it's 3rd and 5.....SACK! Back at the 42!!!!!

"I feel like I'm a broadcaster for soccer."- Mike Tirico
"So it's nil-nil on the pitch Jaws."- Tony Kornheiser

Ginn fair catches it at the 10 yard line again, and we're keeping the 0-0 tie dream alive folks!!!

Marty Booker on the screen for 1 yard, Beck had about 40 minutes to throw but is sacked, and another 1 yard pass from Beck leads to a Dolphins punt. False start before that and the 'Phins are punting from their own 5.....

Rossum is down at the Miami 42, and there's 4 minutes left for a score in this one. Let's go Dolphins D!!!!!

"If the twenty yard line was the goal line we'd still be scoreless."- Mike Tirico

That's amazing. Parker for a small gain, and a catch by Hines Ward inside the Red Zone!!! You had to jinx it Tirico!! Dammit. Parker for nine, but a flag is down.....a Holding Penalty!!!! Send them back! We need a sack Jason Taylor!!!

1st and 20, Ward for 6 yards...2nd and 14. Ward again for 11 yards and it's 3rd and short as we reach the 2 minute warning.

Line of the night goes to Tony Kornheiser for saying that the Steelers didn't want to score too quickly because they might "leave too much time for the Dolphins to come back down the field."

3rd and 3.....first down to Willie Reed on the WR screen. Damn you Pittsburgh. Damn you for making me witness this. Joey Porter knocks down the Big Ben pass on first down, Parker for a yard, and Miami calls timeout with one minute left.

"Anyone notice the time? This game started just after 9pm and at 2:17 already is down to 2mins....At least death has been quick."- Anon

I wish I could say that it felt that way. I feel I have been typing zeros for 7 hours now.

Roethlisberger is sacked, and that was the dumbest call in the history of Sports. Just down it on a nice piece of grass and kick the thing. This has to be the worst coached game ever. Reed will have about a 23 yarder to win it.

GOOD! 3 fucking nothing Steelers.

"Awful, thanks for making the worst game in NFL history so amusing. Wait, I took Miami and the points, so it actually wasn't a bad game at all."- Anon

No problem, and someone else made the same wager ;)

A lateral to Ginn on the squib, and that's not working at all. The Dolphins try the lateral game and it fails miserably. Good lord all of you are troopers for even posting one comment during this abortion. I'll see you next week for hopefully a dry and exciting game. Ugh.....it pains me to type this....

3-0 Steelers.

33 Comments:

This game is starting to get interesting. I'm enjoying learning of new ways to not score.

John said...
Nov 26, 2007, 10:25:00 PM  

I think this is what it would be like if you played in a Louisiana bayou

James said...
Nov 26, 2007, 10:28:00 PM  

wow. one play and cut to commercial....and im happy about that.

Pickitup said...
Nov 26, 2007, 10:34:00 PM  

Chatman hit the hole hard - Tirico

My ex wife used to say that about me too.

Steve said...
Nov 26, 2007, 10:37:00 PM  

Question: What happens when the Steelers can't find out why they haven't scored against a winless team in the third quarter?

Answer: They be grateful they're not losing, and start injuring opposing players to increase their chances!

Right? This is desperation.

mattycb8 said...
Nov 26, 2007, 10:37:00 PM  

If Gretchen Wilson is here for the party then she's at the wrong game.

Hanrahan said...
Nov 26, 2007, 10:38:00 PM  

The people that don't understand why it's called "football" should watch this one. All punting, all the time.

James said...
Nov 26, 2007, 10:43:00 PM  

They could put Primanti sangwiches in the divots, to fill them up and give them extra strength.

Nuthin beats a Primantis.

AA, did you get video of Korny sitting there at that table by himself? someone in the production truck was fucking with him, had to be, he looked friggin ridiculous.

hollywood wags said...
Nov 26, 2007, 10:45:00 PM  

Ok, now I'm getting excited for the prospect of a 0-0 tie.

Anonymous said...
Nov 26, 2007, 10:48:00 PM  

When did ESPN start broadcasting Pop Warner games on Mondays?

Anonymous said...
Nov 26, 2007, 10:49:00 PM  

This begs two questions:

Would it still be a "perfect season" if the Dolphins go 0-15-1?

And will Steelers finally go to field turf if they lose the division because their field is a piece of shit?

Anonymous said...
Nov 26, 2007, 10:53:00 PM  

The Rooneys would rather saw their balls off with a rusty primantis sandwich than replace that goddamn field.

That field sees more use than Rosie O'Donnels spork.

hollywood wags said...
Nov 26, 2007, 10:56:00 PM  

This field sees more use than Hillary Clinton's closest female aide's tongue.

hollywood wags said...
Nov 26, 2007, 10:58:00 PM  

It's always kind of amusing when two coaches battle it out for the mantle of "worst coached game ever." My prediction: 2-2 tie after regulation, and the Steelers scratch out a 4-2 victory in overtime.

Anonymous said...
Nov 26, 2007, 11:02:00 PM  

Bruce Arians would be better implemented scrubbing toilets in the old Pitt Stadium.

Friggin guy...

hollywood wags said...
Nov 26, 2007, 11:02:00 PM  

all of america is cheering for a 0-0 tie.

who takes a delay of game on 4th down and then goes for it?

tobs said...
Nov 26, 2007, 11:05:00 PM  

Didnt it take the pats something like 4 days to put field turf down during the season cause that field was such a piece of shit? This is a joke, and not just cause I have Parker and Washington and I am losing in fantasy.

Anonymous said...
Nov 26, 2007, 11:07:00 PM  

I kind of like shitty field conditions like this...

Brings me back to 1978, befor epeople gave two shits about field conditions, they just lined up and played the goddamn game.

hollywood wags said...
Nov 26, 2007, 11:09:00 PM  

im sorry but rossum is not one of the most decorated kick returners of all time, hes a very good one, but come on tirico

Mike Georger said...
Nov 26, 2007, 11:17:00 PM  

Anyone notice the time? This game started just after 9pm and at 2:17 already is down to 2mins....At least death has been quick.

Anonymous said...
Nov 26, 2007, 11:18:00 PM  

also im sure this is the kind of game berman will yell 'smashmouth futbaw!' about, but no, its just bad. its not hard hitting, its just sloppy with shitty decision making on both sides

Mike Georger said...
Nov 26, 2007, 11:18:00 PM  

Good thing for Miami they didn't burn any of their time outs.

Anonymous said...
Nov 26, 2007, 11:20:00 PM  

Did the Steelers really just take a timeout?....I know the Dolphins aren't setting the world on fire on offense, but you are asking for trouble by not giving them as little time as possible.

Anonymous said...
Nov 26, 2007, 11:21:00 PM  

DAMN!! I've just wasted my whole night watching this! Curses Pittsburgh, we wanted 0-0!!!! If it wasn't for that meddling kicker!!

Michael said...
Nov 26, 2007, 11:25:00 PM  

Bruce Arians should be inside the stadium cleaning toilets, not on the sidelines calling plays.

hollywood wags said...
Nov 26, 2007, 11:27:00 PM  

dumbest call ever? you are as bad as kornheiser!

poser said...
Nov 26, 2007, 11:27:00 PM  

Awful, thanks for making the worst game in NFL history so amusing.

Wait, I took Miami and the points, so it actually wasn't a bad game at all.

Anonymous said...
Nov 26, 2007, 11:28:00 PM  

What's really sad is this game started 30 minutes late, and STILL finished quicker than any other Monday Night game all season.

Michael said...
Nov 26, 2007, 11:30:00 PM  

Worst football game I have ever seen

TheTallTerror said...
Nov 26, 2007, 11:30:00 PM  

Worst. Game. Ever.

Wish I had watched it

frostdude1 said...
Nov 26, 2007, 11:36:00 PM  

AA, last week you closed with, "...I'll see you next week for an even more dreadful game as the Dolphins take on the Steelers."

Yeah, you pretty much got that one right!

GMC SportsCenter Post Game: 18:42

On the plus side, I thought Sal did a pretty good job as the host, better than Stu.

Michael said...
Nov 26, 2007, 11:57:00 PM  

The Green Bay-Dallas "Blackout Bowl" on Thursday can't get here fast enough to erase the foul stench of that Monday Night game.

Rick James Bible Owner said...
Nov 27, 2007, 12:56:00 AM  

This site is hilarious!

http://www.tonycutyourhair.com

Tony Kornheiser should definitely try out one of these hair cuts instead. lol. worst combover ever

Anonymous said...
Nov 24, 2008, 1:35:00 AM  

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