The Pam Ward Chronicles Week 13

Saturday, November 24, 2007


Welcome back to our weekly installment of The Pam Ward Chronicles. I'm going to be keeping track of the Announcing Quotes throughout the day and I ask that you join in. Please leave any that you come across in the comments or feel free to email me at AwfulAnnouncing@Gmail.com.

We have some great quotes to get us started from yesterday's action, and if you need an announcing schedule for today...click below...

Your College Football Announcing Schedule: Week Thirteen
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“USC is a cinch to go to one of the three remaining BCS Bowl Games....maybe the Fiestus Bowl. That would be the likely suspect.”- David Norrie

“And unexpectedly LSU opens its Offensive Thrust from the twenty five yard line.”- Verne Lundquist

“Lobs it out....Hello slippery!”- Verne Lundquist

“That rear end is up in the air he’s ready to go hunt.”- Chris Spielman

“Talk about guys who are close to one another, who have continuity. In the womb together at birth and now beside each other in the biggest game of their lives.”- Quint Kessenich

“He’s Doctor Bionical Man right there.”- Chris Spielman

I'm pretty sure Bionical isn't a word, but okay Chris.

"Florida State has a chance to win this game by outscoring the Gators."- Lee Corso

Really?

"He throws up a hopes and wish ball and his hopes and dreams are answered."- Ray Bentley on Matt Ryan

Such a beautiful description...*tear*

"I know you're thinking of Bruce [Springsteen] because he's going to be coming to John Paul Jones arena. He will be here to play a concert at the Viginia Tech Basketball Arena."- Dave Pasch

I know Virginia is a confusing state being a Commonwealth and all, but you're actually in Charlottesville Dave, and JPJ arena is UVA's Basketball Arena.

"And that one's intercepted. A chancey pass anyway."- Pam Ward

Sorry...that's not a word Pam.

"And that's Miami's first first down of the season."- Pam Ward (Via Tom)

Hahaha right Pam. Riiiiight.

"You know, it throws all of the BCS into a gumbo, with all that good stuff you throw in the pot." - Andre Ware, going with a regional analogy for the LSU loss. (Via S2N)

"He's got a little Peyton Manning in him." - Craig Bolerjack on Erik Ainge (Via S2N)

"That's a headsy play, and Ponder tries to take it down yonder."- Ray Bentley

"This is his last home game here at home."- Andre Ware on UVA's Chris Long (Via Bruce)

"That ball almost took a sideward spin and hit Macho Harris."- Andre Ware

Sounds like something Emmitt would say.

"...and it winds up being Vince Hall coming in the face of Peter Lalich..."- Andre Ware (Via ZHR)

"You need to go to the bakery and get yourself a nice warm turnover." - Andre Ware (Via Anon)

"Vince Hall was running down his throat."- Dave Pasch

That duo is nasty.

"Crowd wanted UConn to go for it on 4th down" - Bob Wischusen, too bad West Virginia was on offense at the time. (Via Mookie)

"If you're going to underthrow the ball, you have to do it short."- Ed Cunningham (Via Anon)

"Foster runs it outside down the sideline and is bumped out of bounds and will stop the clock. Well, the clock's not running. Oh, we're in overtime."- Craig Bolerjack (Via Willmott)

David Norrie just got the Aflac trivia question right and the ESPN stats team got it wrong, at least as asked. The question was the most played college football rivalry - Norrie said Lehigh v. Lafayette . . . the duck said Wisconsin-Minnesota at 117. Leigh and Lafayette have played 142 times. The question would've needed to have the qualifier for the bowl subdivision of NCCA D-1 to be correct. (Via Anon)

I caught that as well. I thought I knew the answer as well...Bob Wischusen laughed at him like he was crazy.

"Nice part about it, I think he understood everything Bonnie said."- Paul Maguire on Bonnie Bernstein's interview with Uga the Georgia mascot

I think he's saying you're a bitch Bonnie. I'll kill him.

"On the Georgia sidelines, the water girl happens to be sleeping with the coach.

[long pause]

She happens to be Richt's wife." - Brad Nessler (Via The Unreliable Narrator)

"...had to give Muns that cigar."- Brad Nessler
"We wondered what you were giving him."- Bob Griese
"We've been trading cigars for about 28 years."- Brad Nessler
"Voice sounds a little younger than yours.- Paul Maguire
"Does it?"- Brad Nessler
"We were wondering what you were giving him for after the game. You know my partner over here, he....."- Bob Griese
"I thought you were giving him a bud."- Paul Maguire

"The thing you have to realize is that these teams are in un-chartered waters."- Kirk Herbstreit

Posted by Awful Announcing- at 11:12 AM

39 Comments:

ESPN did a great piece this morning onthe deaf player at Oklahoma State and the obsticles of playing D1 football.

ESPN shows that when they want to they can do quality work and offer pieces like that but they often choose to do craptacular stuff like "Who's Now" and Stu Scott's Def Jam poetry

Steve said...
Nov 24, 2007, 12:05:00 PM  

"Obsticles?" You ARE a fucking IDIOT.

Anonymous said...
Nov 24, 2007, 12:27:00 PM  

Obsticles-Obstacles
Tomato-TomAto.

Awful said...
Nov 24, 2007, 12:45:00 PM  

I kind of got a kick out of Dave Pasch comparing Monticello to the house that Andre Ware lives in.

jared said...
Nov 24, 2007, 1:09:00 PM  

Anonymous said...
"Obsticles?" You ARE a fucking IDIOT.

hey douchebag why dont you man up and use a real name.

Steve said...
Nov 24, 2007, 1:10:00 PM  

"You know, it throws all of the BCS into a gumbo, with all that good stuff you throw in the pot." - Andre Ware, going with a regional analogy for the LSU loss.

Signal to Noise said...
Nov 24, 2007, 1:34:00 PM  

"He's got a little Peyton Manning in him." - Craig Bolerjack on Erik Ainge going up to the line and calling an audible from the shotgun

Signal to Noise said...
Nov 24, 2007, 1:48:00 PM  

Once again the "Upset Watch" is a fraud featuring Tenn 14, UK 0...Unless they can predict the future.

Matthew said...
Nov 24, 2007, 2:15:00 PM  

Andre Ware, on UVA's Chris Long's last home game- "This is his last home game here at home."

As opposed to his last home game at Miami two weeks ago, I guess.

Bruce said...
Nov 24, 2007, 2:16:00 PM  

"Ponder tries to take it down yonder". - Ray Benley

After UM's Ponder advances a fumble recovery

Steve said...
Nov 24, 2007, 2:35:00 PM  

Maybe that upset watch thing is done by the spread because Kentucky is favored.

Awful said...
Nov 24, 2007, 2:35:00 PM  

"And a grabbing dive by Lucas Taylor"- Craig Bolerjack

Mookie said...
Nov 24, 2007, 2:35:00 PM  

im just glad espn decided to put the umass/fordham game on espnu instead of the appalachian / james madison game. because noone wants to see the last two national champions, they want to see the northeastern teams play

Mike Georger said...
Nov 24, 2007, 3:05:00 PM  

"You need to go to the bakery and get yourself a nice warm turnover." - Andre Ware

Anonymous said...
Nov 24, 2007, 3:09:00 PM  

not an announcer but can this count towards stupid shit 'said'?

UPSET WATCH: #18 Tennessee 24, Kentucky 7

its not even like UK was up then UT went off and the system has not caught up, UT has led the entire game

Mike Georger said...
Nov 24, 2007, 3:40:00 PM  

Jeez, whoever's doing the Uconn game needs some Prozac. He's a tad intense.

Anonymous said...
Nov 24, 2007, 3:50:00 PM  

UPSET WATCH: Utah 0, #25 Brigham Young 3

... yet oklahoma losing by seven early doesnt make it onto the upset watch. top draw quality!

Mike Georger said...
Nov 24, 2007, 3:52:00 PM  

The PBP for UConn WVU is Bob Wischusen he's probably like that because he also does NYJets games on the radio.

Steve said...
Nov 24, 2007, 4:20:00 PM  

David Norrie just got the Aflac trivia question right and the ESPN stats team got it wrong, at least as asked.

The question was the most played college football rivalry - Norrie said Lehigh v. Lafayette . . . the duck said Wisconsin-Minnesota at 117.

Leigh and Lafayette have played 142 times. The question would've needed to have the qualifier for the bowl subdivision of NCCA D-1 to be correct.

Anonymous said...
Nov 24, 2007, 4:39:00 PM  

"One thing about offensive coordinators: Once something works, they go back to it."-Charles Arbuckle

Nooooooooooooooo..........

Eric said...
Nov 24, 2007, 4:41:00 PM  

"Crowd wanted UConn to go for it on 4th down" - Bob Wischusen, too bad West Virginia was on offense at the time.

Mookie said...
Nov 24, 2007, 4:42:00 PM  

I'm not sure who it was, but the analyst on the ND/Stanford game as Stanford almost intercepted a bad pass:

"If you're going to underthrow the ball, you have to do it short."

Anonymous said...
Nov 24, 2007, 4:48:00 PM  

Not announcing, but the crawl at the top of the OU/OSU game on Fox Sports Net read: "Your watching Oklahoma State at Oklahoma..." I guess it's asking too much for the person writing the crawl to know the difference between your and you're.

maggie said...
Nov 24, 2007, 5:15:00 PM  

"That incomplete stops the clock...oh wait, the clock is already stopped." - Craig Bolerjack, on an incomplete pass in OT, where there is no clock.

Signal to Noise said...
Nov 24, 2007, 5:38:00 PM  

"Gets knocked out of bounds and stops the clock, although the clock's not running here in overtime"

--Craig Bollerjack

Anonymous said...
Nov 24, 2007, 5:39:00 PM  

So yes, I think he did it twice, once on an incompletion and once on an out of bounds

Anonymous said...
Nov 24, 2007, 5:40:00 PM  

Craig Bolerjack during UK-Tennessee:

"Foster runs it outside down the sideline and is bumped out of bounds and will stop the clock. Well, the clock's not running. Oh, we're in overtime."

This, of course, coming on Tennessee's first possession, the second one overall, in overtime

Willmott said...
Nov 24, 2007, 5:41:00 PM  

Wow, that was popular. Guess that's what I get for going back on my TiVo to make sure I actually heard what I thought I heard.....

Willmott said...
Nov 24, 2007, 5:42:00 PM  

More Craig Bolerjack goodness!

"I'm sure Georgia is somewhere around a TV set watching this Tennessee-Kentucky game right now!"

- Bolerjack as Kentucky was looking for the game winning field goal in Double OT....uh Craig, Georgia is playing Georgia Tech right now.....

Steve said...
Nov 24, 2007, 5:53:00 PM  

"I told you there would be a lot of balls in the air" - Steve Beuerlein

Mookie said...
Nov 24, 2007, 6:14:00 PM  

GA @ GT

"On the Georgia sidelines, the water girl happens to be sleeping with the coach.

[long pause]

She happens to be Richt's wife." - Brad Nessler

Nov 24, 2007, 6:56:00 PM  

Was I the only person watching the ND/Stanford game? I wouldn't be surprised if I was but still, besides Jack Arute, it had to have been one of the worst announced (not to mention officiated) games all year. Featuring:

-Dave Lamont being fooled by the play-action
-Dave Lamont mistaking Lou Holtz for Charlie Weis in the lineup intros
-Ceaseless chatter about the "packed turf" and what it means when the trainer takes the QB's helmet away
-Charlie Weis going commando?
-"If they didn't convert on fourth down that would have been throwing the match in the flame."

WHAT? Did no one else see this???

Steve said...
Nov 24, 2007, 8:16:00 PM  

I realize that this is not an announcing call, but if this goes unmentioned, you have no soul, AA.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gAMtCCezpfU

"He was givin' him the business."

Willmott said...
Nov 24, 2007, 9:44:00 PM  

Well, Wilmott, I'm quite pleased that my soul is intact. :)

maggie said...
Nov 24, 2007, 9:45:00 PM  

Brent Musberger:

"There's Moore, #1, he's stepped into that seconday, and you'll see his name on the All-Big Ten lineup next week, I'm sure."

That'd be damn impressive, since he's playing for Missouri.

Willmott said...
Nov 24, 2007, 10:25:00 PM  

I thought that trivia question answer was wrong. Also, what is the over/under on Andre Ware's IQ?

Nov 24, 2007, 11:21:00 PM  

Can someone PLEASE get video or the Georgia water girl sleeping with the coach?!?!

Anonymous said...
Nov 25, 2007, 12:42:00 AM  

As if that Quint Kessenich quote wasn't bad enough, he was talking about 2 guys for Boise State and calling the Hawaii game the biggest of their lives. Um, Fiesta Bowl, hello!?

Devin McCullen said...
Nov 25, 2007, 1:35:00 AM  

Gotta disagree with Kenny on the Stanford-ND game. I thought the announcers livened up a clumsy matchup between two underachievers.

The field was a story if you watched how many times players slipped, and I thought Ed Cunningham was going to strangle Jim Harbaugh, which would have been entertaining video.

Anonymous said...
Nov 26, 2007, 5:35:00 AM  

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