As If David Blaine For The NBA Wasn't Bad Enough

Monday, July 09, 2007

There is one person so awful that it's tough for me to even convey this story to you. You remember the David Blaine commercials for the NBA right? The mask that gives extra oxygen to Richard Hamilton and the Magnets....those f'ing magnets. Well MLB decided that they wanted to go even more dreadful and horrible than the NBA. They've hired Dane Cook to do their postseason commercials....

For the first time ever, Major League Baseball (MLB) will launch its postseason marketing campaign in July, during the national broadcast of the 2007 Major League Baseball All-Star Game, July 10th live from AT&T Park in San Francisco. The July date will mark the earliest launch ever for a postseason MLB campaign. The campaign, entitled "There's Only One October," and featuring actor/comedian Dane Cook will highlight some of baseball's memorable postseason moments, while showcasing today's teams and most promising players in their quest for October greatness.
Shoot me in the face now please.

Major League Baseball to launch largest postseason marketing campaign ever at the 2007 All-Star Game (

(Via Deadspin)


Obviously, this is a ploy by MLB to pull in the "MySpace" demographic, the young generation that grew up with the NFL as the national pastime, not baseball.

Cause you know, YouTube-watchin, Wii-playing teenagers will certainly plunk down in front of the TV set to watch five hours of baseball coverage for a combined 3 minutes, 45 seconds of Cook at his "Oh my God, that is SO true!" best, knowing full well they can pull those specific clips from YouTube a few hours later.

Like so many bad corporate attempts to be hip, this will backfire in their face, as they will only gain viewers brain-dead enough to watch multiple hours of television for the promotional advertisements supporting said programming, and we all know those people can't wrap their heads around something as complex as wallets or money.

Instead, MLB's tardy upping of the "hip quotient" by a pseudo-celebrity who by now gets far more ire than adulation will be met by complete indifference from the sought-after demographic, and the actual baseball fans from the older generation will feel ostracized, confused and annoyed.

At least we can rest easy knowing that it will make hundreds of thousands of Dads and Grandfathers say, "Who the hell is this douchebag? Madison, MADISON! Turn off your iPods for one god damn second, will you, and tell me if this shit-kicker is supposed to pass for funny these days. I just wanted to watch some fucking baseball, Jesus Christ."

Pete said...
Jul 9, 2007, 5:04:00 PM  

TOURGASM 2: Ruining Baseball!!!

GMoney said...
Jul 9, 2007, 5:46:00 PM  

Dane Cook? I've heard eulogies that were funnier than him. Selig et al are doing their best to drive me away, but I'll be damned if it's gonna happen.

Bruce said...
Jul 9, 2007, 6:37:00 PM  

I miss Mitch Hedberg...

Jeff said...
Jul 9, 2007, 6:56:00 PM  

Amen Jeff....Amen....

That tree is really far away!

Jul 9, 2007, 6:57:00 PM  

"My buddy asked me if I wanted a frozen banana. I said no... but I might want a regular banana later... so yea."

Jeff said...
Jul 9, 2007, 9:24:00 PM  

I can't believe people think this guy is funny.

Mantlemurcer said...
Jul 9, 2007, 9:25:00 PM  

Who the eff is Dane Cook?

Dummy said...
Jul 9, 2007, 10:21:00 PM  

I'm going to stick a superfinger in each eye so I don't have to watch this.

Ed. said...
Jul 9, 2007, 11:22:00 PM  

@ jeff,

an escalator cannot break it can only become stairs.

and dane cook is nto funny.

Anonymous said...
Jul 10, 2007, 9:14:00 AM  

Zach Galifianakis would do it. And it would rock.

HadesGigas said...
Jul 10, 2007, 6:34:00 PM  


Joe said...
Jul 11, 2007, 7:03:00 AM  

I didn't even know those things were supposed to be funny. Those ads are a capital offense, and CANNOT be avoided by anyone who watches baseball. Just awful.

Will said...
Aug 5, 2007, 12:32:00 AM  

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Anonymous said...
Jun 30, 2009, 10:15:00 AM  

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