The Pam Ward Chronicles Week 14

Saturday, December 01, 2007


Welcome back to our weekly installment of The Pam Ward Chronicles. I'm going to be keeping track of the Announcing Quotes throughout the day and I ask that you join in. Please leave any that you come across in the comments or feel free to email me at AwfulAnnouncing@Gmail.com.

Your College Football Announcing Schedule: Week Thirteen
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Oh no! Pam and Ray are having audio problems and Stan Verrett and Jesse Palmer are calling the MAC Championship from the studio. That's not a good way to start the day.

"He said he was a chubby little red baby."- Ray Bentley on Central Michigan LB Red Keith

"This is a huge game obviously a MAC Championship, it's a Conference Championship, but Miami is 6 and 6 on the season and they win they're MAC Champions and they will get into a Bowl. They lose and they're done."- Pam Ward

Someone needs to tell Pam that six wins gets you into a Bowl this year.....and every year.

I take it back Pam....you were right. Because they'll finish under .500 they're out of the running. They would have been better off not making the Championship Game. I'm sorry my love.

"Well, I don't understand [the triple option] as well as some, but I understand football, and they've gotta get a play going on third and long." - Boomer Esiason (Via S2N)

That's understanding football for sure.

"I'm sure you've done a couple of Patriots games in your day. I would tell every young Quarterback to watch how Peyton, excuse me Tom Brady utilizes the pocket to his advantage."- Boomer Esiason

We could just combine them into one person when making statements along these lines. Either Peyton Brady or Tom Manning would work.

"They didn't call me I was in Gameplan."- Boomer Esiason
"Yes, a DeNiro like performance from you, and a stretch playing yourself."- Ian Eagle

And we have audio problems again in the MAC Championship game. Oh man...they just went back to Pam and she didn't know she was on-air. Tough going for them today.

"The SEC Title Game Tennessee and Louisville, or LSU."- Andre Ware

"He's as good as it gets as far as a duel threat Quarterback. I'd put him up along side of Tim Tebow, Pat White, Matt Grothe...all those guys. I think Dan LeFevour is just as good if not better."- Ray Bentley

You think the fact that Bentley went to Central Michigan might have something to do with that statement?

"If they throw it to the left side of the end zone, they've got a good shot at hitting you. That'd be funny." - Brad Nessler to Paul Maguire (Via S2N)

Maguire looks funny as hell wearing those reading glasses and flying around on the Camera Truck. They keep showing shots of him about an inch from his nose.

"An Oklahoma win over Mizzou would create a cobweb of worms."- Craig James (Via Hawkeye State)

Referee: "Dead ball penalty. False start..."
Maguire: "...that's going to be a false start."
(Via Jim)

Good work there by Maguire talking over the official.

"What did he say about tackling Jonathan Stewart? You have to bring your big boy pads?"- Dan Fouts
"It's like going bear hunting with a stick."- Tim Brant

Exactly like that.

"Eric Ainge busted one. Watch the inside rub here."- Gary Danielson

It's about time Gary....I thought you were going to get through a game without a sexual comment.

Gary Danielson: on UT-LSU SEC Championship Game after fake punt: "This game has turned into a battle for the SEC Championship." (Via Anon)

"And he was not afraid taking a ball on the face."- Tim Brant on Oregon blocking an OSU FG.

"In college football, if the ball bounces off the ground, it's an incompletion"- Todd Blackledge (Via Jared)

"A fresh set of downs for the Steelers."- Mike Patrick

Hahaha....we may have a winner folks.

"And you can't review an incomplete pass."- Ed Cunningham
(Ref states there will be a review)
"Check that you can review it in the endzone."- Ed Cunningham

Aren't all complete/incomplete passes involving the sidelines reviewable?

Posted by Awful Announcing- at 11:25 AM

49 Comments:

Stan Verrett just lost his job. He's terrible -- WORSE than Pam.
I don't care if it was an emergency situation and he's only a "studio guy".
Good grief -- now I have to listen to Pam.

Anonymous said...
Dec 1, 2007, 11:31:00 AM  

What is wrong with ESPN's first quarter telecast of the MAC title game? There was no crowd noise for a good chunk of it.

Bevo said...
Dec 1, 2007, 11:32:00 AM  

I just flipped it on Bevo. Stan Verrett just said they had audio problems.

I don't know if Stan was on a delay, but he was pretty terrible there. Jesse Palmer is actually pretty good if you ask me.

Dec 1, 2007, 11:37:00 AM  

Stan should be safe - he does a great job on those commercials...
"Unbelievable...." HONK!!!!!!!!!!

keyser soze said...
Dec 1, 2007, 11:38:00 AM  

Ha true. He's not terrible, but he shouldn't call anymore games.

Dec 1, 2007, 11:47:00 AM  

Go Redhawks!!!!!!! Pam, don't screw it up.

Joe D said...
Dec 1, 2007, 12:12:00 PM  

Eligible for a bowl is 6 wins, but a 6 win MAC team is...unlikely I think.

Not to defend Pam, but I'd like to hope she's right.

Andrew said...
Dec 1, 2007, 12:20:00 PM  

LEARN THE RULES: Miami's NOT eligible unless it wins!

From the NCAA Postseason Handbook:

A deserving winning team is defined as one that wins a minimum of six games against Division I-A competition and has a record that includes more wins than losses. [Exception: Each year, a Division I-A institution may count a victory against a Division I-AA opponent that has averaged 90 percent of the permissible maximum number of grants-in-aid per year in Division I-AA football over a rolling two-year period.]
Per Bylaw exception 30.9.2.1 an institution with a record of six wins and six losses may be selected for participation in a bowl game if 1) the institution or its conference has a primary contractual affiliation, which existed prior to the first contest of the applicable season, with the sponsoring bowl organization. In the case of a conference contractual affiliation, all conference teams with winning records must be placed in one of the contracted bowl games before any institution with a record of six wins and six losses may be placed in a contracted bowl game; and 2) all contratual affiliations have been fulfilled and all institutions with winning records have received bowl invitations (either through a contractual affiliation or as an at-large selection

Anonymous said...
Dec 1, 2007, 12:21:00 PM  

Yeah, what anonymous said.

New rule this year requires the botls to take any 7-win team before a 6-win team gets a spot. It's why Iowa probably won't get a bowl spot at 6-6.

Hawkeye State said...
Dec 1, 2007, 12:23:00 PM  

So because they're playing 13 games they can't get in because they have to be at least .500? That's pretty crappy.

Dec 1, 2007, 12:27:00 PM  

"Well, I don't understand [the triple option] as well as some, but I understand football, and they've gotta get a play going on third and long." - Boomer Esiason, Captain Obvious.

Signal to Noise said...
Dec 1, 2007, 12:36:00 PM  

are their any hot chicks in the navy?

Steve said...
Dec 1, 2007, 12:41:00 PM  

By the way, AA, can we get a post ripping ESPN for their premature reporting of the Les Miles thing. Because it sounds like he's staying at LSU and there's a 1:50 eastern press conference to announce that.

Way to blow that story.

Andrew said...
Dec 1, 2007, 12:43:00 PM  

"I'm sure you've called a few Patriots games in your day I'd tell every young quarterback to watch how Peyton, I mean Tom Brady, uses the pocket to his advantage". - BOOMER confusing his two crushes

Steve said...
Dec 1, 2007, 12:44:00 PM  

Pam and Ray are busy "doing it" again and missed the second half kickoff.
Can't they get thru the buffet line quicker?

Anonymous said...
Dec 1, 2007, 12:45:00 PM  

Miles will announce he's staying -- then change his mind on Monday.
It's all psychology.
My source at the team hotel says it was like a morgue until he decided to "claim" he's staying.

Anonymous said...
Dec 1, 2007, 12:46:00 PM  

B. Bernstein: Because Taylor is more of a scrambler than Glennon (the receivers) have to remember the play is not over until it is whistled dead.

Hank said...
Dec 1, 2007, 1:41:00 PM  

Okay Anons.....can someone explain to me why there was a graphic that just showed Miami Ohio as a Bowl Eligible team?

Dec 1, 2007, 1:44:00 PM  

So...do we get a special award to Kirk Herbstreit for breaking a story that was completely false this morning on Gameday?

Matt said...
Dec 1, 2007, 1:47:00 PM  

Did anyone else notice that ESPN just gave Va. Tech 4 points instead of 2 on the blocked extra point return?

Mookie said...
Dec 1, 2007, 2:24:00 PM  

How come CBS keeps Norman Esiason in the studio? Oh, yeah. He stinks!

Do either of those two have any idea how Navy's version of the Wing T works?

Bevo said...
Dec 1, 2007, 2:30:00 PM  

"If they throw it to the left side of the end zone, they've got a good shot at hitting you. That'd be funny." - Brad Nessler to Paul Maguire.

Signal to Noise said...
Dec 1, 2007, 2:38:00 PM  

Just saw it on the ESPN News replay. Too funny.

Dec 1, 2007, 2:39:00 PM  

"it could open a whole cobweb of worms." craig james on the different combinations of teams in the national championship during halftime of bc/va tech

Trevin Wagener said...
Dec 1, 2007, 3:02:00 PM  

At the VT/BC game...

Referee: "Dead ball penalty. False start..."
Maguire: "...that's going to be a false start."

Jim said...
Dec 1, 2007, 3:46:00 PM  

AA -- so what you're saying is ESPN made another mistake by having a graphic not matching an announcer. Gee, what a surprise.
You're also saying you trust ESPN more than the NCAA manual. LOL
Chris Mortensen, Kirk Herbstreit, do you see where I"m going with this type of information....

Anonymous said...
Dec 1, 2007, 4:46:00 PM  

I didn't say I believed it one way or another just wondering why they would say one thing and display another.

Awful said...
Dec 1, 2007, 4:53:00 PM  

Early 3rd Quarter, Lundquist refers to Tennessee in all-orange uniforms looking like "moving Dreamsicles." Someone ought to get tape on that.

Anonymous said...
Dec 1, 2007, 6:11:00 PM  

Gary Danielson: on UT-LSU SEC Championship Game after fake punt: "This game has turned into a battle for the SEC Championship."

Anonymous said...
Dec 1, 2007, 7:18:00 PM  

Did anyone just see the UFC's Georges St. Pierre present the West Virginia defensive lineup? A Canadian Frenchman who knows jack about football makes for a classic moment...

Ken said...
Dec 1, 2007, 7:54:00 PM  

GSP just presented the offense. I hope someone can find the video. Classic.

Ken said...
Dec 1, 2007, 7:55:00 PM  

Coming soon.

Dec 1, 2007, 7:58:00 PM  

Did he really just say 'slinging some rock'

Chris said...
Dec 1, 2007, 8:56:00 PM  

Chris Spielman making a special sidelines appearance on Saturday Night Football. He still has a chance for a Pammy.

Anonymous said...
Dec 1, 2007, 8:57:00 PM  

The Todd Blackledge one is a little out of context. He and Patrick were talking about if a player catches the ball but part of it hits the ground, it is incomplete. While in the NFL, as long as the player has control, it is a complete pass.

Anonymous said...
Dec 1, 2007, 10:00:00 PM  

Ah that makes sense. Thanks for the clarification.

Dec 1, 2007, 10:03:00 PM  

Another thing: On a touchdown called back on a hold, the ESPN microphones caught an unfiltered "that's a bullshit call" from Wannstedt

Anonymous said...
Dec 1, 2007, 10:08:00 PM  

Saw that, and I have to say that call was bullshit.

Dec 1, 2007, 10:10:00 PM  

"A fresh set of down for the Steelers".

This is College Football, sir. Steelers was on Monday. Get your leagues straight.

mattycb8 said...
Dec 1, 2007, 10:19:00 PM  

"A fresh set of downs for the Steelers." Mike Patrick calling the Pitt-West Virginia game

Gangsta D said...
Dec 1, 2007, 10:19:00 PM  

Mike Patrick: A fresh set of downs for the Steelers

Hank said...
Dec 1, 2007, 10:20:00 PM  

Look, don't frag Mike Patrick too badly for that one. If you saw offensive competence and hard-nosed football from a team based in Pittsburgh, you'd assume it was the Steelers rather than the Panthers too.

Signal to Noise said...
Dec 1, 2007, 10:21:00 PM  

Three quick things:

1) The referee in the Pitt-WV game must've gotten hit on the left cheek with a box cutter before the game.
2) Speaking of cheeks, I think only Mark Mangino has a bigger ass than Lisa Salters.
3) Much like the dunk contest and the Home Run Derby, the "$1 million dollar throw/kick" must be abolished.

Rick James Bible Owner said...
Dec 1, 2007, 10:21:00 PM  

The Big East officials are doing as much as they can to get WV in the title game.

Anonymous said...
Dec 1, 2007, 10:47:00 PM  

"You started the day off telling me Les Miles was going to Michigan. For crying out loud!!!"

Mega burn by Musburger

Phil said...
Dec 1, 2007, 11:47:00 PM  

Linda Cohn just said in the Sportscenter intro "We unscramble the BCS Quagmire, Giggity Giggity, Right now"

Nic said...
Dec 2, 2007, 1:49:00 AM  

no, no, no you cant have that Patrick quote win without saying that he said after it

"did i just say Steelers? ah same city."

hahaha makes it 10 times funnier.

GusJohnsonForGod said...
Dec 2, 2007, 10:38:00 AM  

"He's briiliant but he's not stupid." -Chris Spielman referring to Bob Stoops.

nsrrder said...
Dec 2, 2007, 12:17:00 PM  

This week's winner has to be Danielson. He's a douche.

At least Patrick corrected himself.

Anonymous said...
Dec 2, 2007, 8:01:00 PM  

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