Monday, October 01, 2007
We're back again for yet another fabulous night of live-blog mania as the 3-0 Pats take on the 1-2 Bengals.
Here's what you need to know.....
Spread: New England -9, O/U 54.5
Stadium: Paul Brown, Cincinnati
Weather: 72 Degrees and Sunny
I'll be kicking this off at around 8:15 so I'll see you then, and don't forget Extra P is live-blogging the Padres-Rockies game airing on TBS. Should be a fun night....hope you can join in.
One Game Playoff Live Blog: San Diego at Colorado
Leave your predictions in the comments.
After a GQ piece on Tom Brady......
"Let's just talk Football where Tom is VERY stylish."- Chris Berman
I don't know where else to put this, but on SportsCenter, they have that god-awful studio team with the Parcells and the Keyshawn, y'know. I forget what it's called. It wasn't any good to begin with, but then Tuna said something that shattered a nation's brain. In reference to the quarterback situation in Chicago, Parcells said, "they can't just dial 1-800-QUARTERBACK. Kyle Orton is the last Mohican in the barrel." It's either an incredibly esoteric reference to Bernard Malamud or the dumbest fucking thing I've ever heard in my life.- Oops Pow Surprise
Hahahaha. That is so random.
Hey our first Bruce Springsteen song of the night. It's a song called Radio Nowhere.....kind like where that single will be come tomorrow. Hey Yo!!! Start this game already!!!
"That Brady GQ segment was horrible...way to give the genius that is zoolander a bad name"- Noce
Amen. "I've got the black lung Noce!"
OH MY GOD..........I'M NOT KIDDING WHEN I TYPE THIS QUOTE.............
"Patriots Too Much Offense, Too Much Defense, Too Much of an all-around better Golf Club....Ball Club."- Emmitt Smith
Jesus Christ almighty.
"Hi Hank!"- Whores
When the whores introduce Hank it's time to kick this thing off! Who's coming with me?
8:37- Apparently the Bengals are trying rid themselves of all of those pigeons by shooting off Fort McHenry like cannons.
Is it your contention that the Patriots are not, in fact, a better golf club?- Oops Pow Surprise
They probably would cheat to win though.
OH MY GOD. DID TONY AND JAWS JUST SING BON JOVI?!?!?! Good lord.
"Karaoke Night? That was Awful!"- Mike Tirico
Video of that coming soon. Jamie Foxx gets us underway after the break. There's going to be a ton of great video tonight!
"Primary target OCHO CINCO! It's Going to be a shootout in the jungle tonight."- Jamie Foxx
New England gets the ball......Let's do this!
8:45- Hobbs gets blasted for trying to re-break the NFL record for longest kickoff return. Moss grabs a 6 yarder on first. A 2nd down screen to Faulk nets 24 yards and Mike Tirico sounds like someone just died.
They're just baiting you at this point. They must be aware that there's a drinking game that involves downing one every time AA- is horrified, and they're determined to kill every last one of us.- Oops Pow Surprise
They have to be.....
I'm not drinking, I'm doing whippets every time Kornholie and Jaws giggle. Tee fuckin hee.- Hollywood Wags
That sounds like a plan.
8:51- The Benglas get some pressure on Brady and there's a throwaway for the Golden Boy. As soon as I type that Moss is standing alone in the middle of the field for 17 yards.
"Pocket collapses on Griese....er Brady."- Mike Tirico
Come on.....this is too easy guys.
Brady hits the real "White Lightning" Wes Welker for a 1st down pickup on 3rd down. Tony and Jaws freak out about Matt Light making a speech instead of saying actual player's names.
FG attempt for the Pats........
3-0 Pats on the Gostkowski FG.
MATCHBOX 20!!!!!!!!! YES! Rob Thomas is soooooo dreamy.
"when did kevin nash change his name to matt light?"- Dr. C
Great Question! NWO in the house!!!
9:01- Jaws likes Kenny Watson, but doesn't really tell us why.
"He will help them in the passing game"- Jaws
"When you say it will help them in the passing game does that mean overall."- TK
Actually a great question by Tony. I'm shocked. Jaws was very aloof on that statement.
Oh and Cincy is punting after one first time.
"So Neither Weezy, Geezy, or Deezy got to them as it was Adalius."- TK
9:07- Sammy Morris gets zero on first down. Tony goes off on a Randy Moss diatribe. Personally I thought that would come sooner.
A handful of Patriots penalties but them in third and long and Holy Shit!!! A Patriots punt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
"Hey A Patriots Punt."- Tony Kornheiser
"It's Chris Hanson....not NBC's Chris Hansen."- Mike Tirico
Hahaha....that's actually pretty funny Michael.
9:13- I think the Bengals are going to go to Kenny Watson every play. 3rd and five for the Bengals. Just short on a pass over the middle and the Pats get it back on a punt.
Stallworth catches a pass and then Sammy Morris rumbles his way all the way down to the two! Great run. He fumbles out of the endzone but is ruled down by contact. Marvin Lewis limps over on his crutches and throws the flag. Oh wait, he has a designated flag thrower due to his injury. I want that job.
Long replay here, and it's pretty inconclusive. Tony notes that the Bengals have no Linebackers and I'm just happy that he's providing actual analysis.
9:21- Ruling on the field stands, and there's not really an evidence to overturn the call. Seau and Vrabel are in the game.....
And Seau leads Heath Evans into the endzone.....or not. Looked like he was in to me. Evans again....And NO! Great stop by the Bengals. Not like it matters....the Pats will go for it on 4th if they don't get it here.
Play Action to Vrabel.....TOUCHDOWN! 10-0 Pats. That hurts.
Great job of Jaws to highlight that newly acquired Dhani Jones was on the coverage and Tony kicks in a "Linebacker on Linebacker" joke.
The crew just completely cracks up over some dumb joke that Tony makes. I'm so confused. That's the end of the first. This photo of the Ickey Shuffle will serve as the separation between quarters.......
9:31- Mike Tirico informs us that the Bengals have 17 yards in the 1st quarter, and that's just about how every team in the NFL is going to look against the Pats this year.
Hey, the officials actually throw a flag on the Pats....I don't think I've ever seen that before. Great blitz by Ndukwe and the Pats are looking at third and long. Timeout.
A Bengals Pick! How about that....the golden boy is picked by ex-Wolverine Leon Hall. Welcome to the NFL.
You know what would be great? If the MLB game was in the ninth when this game was at the half. Best of both world.
Ocho Five gets a quick out and takes it to the one yard line.........
PLAY ACTION TOUCHDOWN.....TJ.....I'm going to spell this without help.........Houshmandzadeh. Can I get a confirmation?
10-7 Patriots.....we've got ourselves a game.
"What a talented player he is". Jaws - Great analysis.
"If Kornheiser was talking about assless chaps on live TV, then that's actually a bonus in my book"- Oops Pow Surprise
9:45- Sammy Morris gets zippy on first down and Suzy tells us that Brady walks on water. Jesus then hits Welker for a first down. Tony talks about Ice Cream and I die a little inside. A completion to Stallworth for about five.
TK does probably the best report he's given about Belicheat working the best players on his team and the production truck provided him with Bill lecturing Seau and Bruschi. Good job MNF.....that's what I/We like to see.
Sammy Morris picks up a first down in Bengals territory, and Tirico points out ANOTHER Bengals linebacker that's hurt. Crazy. They cut away from the game quick again to cut off Tony Kornheiser's point. Good job again production truck.
"..a tape of all of Brady's mistakes." Does this include the new baby pictures as well?- Trot Nixon's Hat
WINNER!!!!!!!!!!!! F'ing hilarious.
9:51- So Cincy is going to try and stop the Patriots with 2 Linebackers.....someone take the 2nd half line. The Bengals go with the first 5 defensive lineman look and have to call timeout.
"Did Kornheiser just say something about "two sore Johnsons"??"- Anon
Of course he did.
The Pats are running all over the linebackerless Bengals, but Joseph stops the Pats on 2nd down.....3rd and 3 at the 7......
OH WOW...............Randy f'ing Moss with one to the prettiest catches from that close to the endzone I've ever seen! Just beautiful......screw you Randy Moss for not playing like this your whole career. You could have been the best.
9:59- Carson Palmer decides to throw all over the field and the Bengals are driving no-huddle.
WOW! Chad Johnson pulls off a sick catch and takes us to the two minute warning. TK leaves the booth.....
"To become a linebacker by the second half."- Tony Kornheiser
Funny. +1 Tony.
"Why are they gushing over the Pats like this? It is just a 10 fucking point lead right now???????? They very good but they haven't played anyone. Sorry SD."- Brett
Sorry Brett, but that's just the way it is with ESPN.
HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH! Chad went over and talked to Coach Cheat at the two minute warning!
Pick by Samuel and the Pats will take a knee.
17-7 at the half Pats. Let's all get ready for PTI at the Half. Ouch Chad and Carson are jawing on the way into the locker room. Not a good sign.
New Thread for the 2nd Half after the break.