The Pam Ward Chronicles: Week Seven

Saturday, October 13, 2007


Welcome back to our weekly installment of The Pam Ward Chronicles. I'm going to be keeping track of the Announcing Quotes throughout the day and I ask that you join in. Please leave any that you come across in the comments or feel free to email me at AwfulAnnouncing@Gmail.com. Other goodness will be happening underneath this post so be sure to check it out.

I'm going to be gone for most of the day, so leave your quotes in the comments and I'll post them when I can. Lou Holtz starts us of from the other night. Enjoy the day!

Your College Football Announcing Schedule: Week Seven
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“I’ve never seen the yellow light, umm the yellow line be wrong.”- Lou Holtz

“I could not see who made that play but that was a great play by that defensive linebacker”- Lou Holtz

“The team that’s on defense first (in overtime) has the advantage because they know whether they need a touchdown a field goal or just a score.”- Lou Holtz

"That's like comparing Joan Collins to Linda Evans."- Lou Holtz
"Now for a more modern reference, like Eva Longoria to Teri Hatcher."- Rece Davis
"I don't know who that is."- Lou Holtz

"I have trouble decided which of these guyses is most explosive."- Ray Bentley

"There's Robin of Locksley, taken the poor and giving them to the rich, and the Illini are rich with talent right now."- Ray Bentley, talking about Illinois Offensive Mike Locksley

"Iowa leads statistically after the first."- Pam Ward, They're losing 3-0 (Via Anon)

"Both the offense and the defense....one's trying the advantage over the other."- Andre Ware Really Andre? Is that how it works???

Erin Andrews would like to welcome you to Miami....



Annnnnnnd We Have An Early Leader In The Clubhouse!

"He face raped him!"- Dave Laphma (Via MG)

BG confirms it....."It was after Texas' Michael Flath rips the helmet off ISU's Todd Blythe"

And BG puts together the video. How about that quickness? BG and MG earn gold stars for the day!

Dave Lapham Makes Up A New Football Term

Pam Ward: "... if you don't want to bang with your participles..." (Via Thatswhatshesaid)

Crucial moment in Minnesota/NW, 35-28, Minn kicking a FG to try and go up 10.

Jim Kelly: "And it's wide right...JUST LIKE TOMCZAK'S GOLF GAME!" (Via SS)

"This is not a reviewable play."- Gary Danielson, Followed by officials immediately reviewing the play of a tipped ball.

"Oh I may be wrong. The people in the production truck are telling me this is reviewable."- Gary Danielson

Back to my rules pet peeve....come on Gary.

"You are in midseason form, Tom."- Pat Haden
"It IS midseason."- Tom Hammond
"Oh, right."- Pat Haden

Erin Andrews took our advice!



Not sure who the field reporter was with the ESPNU crew but she was covering a group of frat guys bashing a car in front of the frat house. Just before she decided to partake in the activity she says quote, "I'm gonna have to get in there and do a little banging myself".- Melissa Knowles
(Via TomahawkFlop)

At the end of CFF, Rece Davis said, "Could it be that some will vote South Florida #1?" To which Lou replied, "Halloween." I've officially decided I want to be Lou Holtz for Halloween now. (Via Michael)

"Mentioning the Atlanta Falcons gets my dander up because of Michael Vick. Congratulations to the state of Virginia for return separate indictments"- Mike Patrick (Via TarHeelFan)

"Well folks, if you've just joined us, the WAC is wacky once again."- Bill Curry (Via Zac)

"The Broncos are not horsing around in this one"- Bill Curry (Via Zac)

"He wasn't over there long enough to get stiff, but he did get a blow."Bill Curry (Via Heath)

Posted by Awful Announcing- at 11:48 AM

30 Comments:

"We call [Illinois O-coordinator Mike Locksley] Robin of Locksley because he takes from the rich and gives to the poor in terms of talent." - Ray Bentley.

Boy, was that a stretch.

Signal to Noise said...
Oct 13, 2007, 12:17:00 PM  

Another "aaaaaaaggggggggg" moment. They forgot a photo in the Iowa graphic

Anonymous said...
Oct 13, 2007, 12:29:00 PM  

"Iowa leads statistically after the first."--Pam

They're losing 3-0

Anonymous said...
Oct 13, 2007, 12:37:00 PM  

Just an observation about C. Florida/S. Florida. South Florida is due east of Central Florida. Shouldn't any university called South Florida be in Miami or Key West?

That's like if USC was in San Francisco.

Anonymous said...
Oct 13, 2007, 12:43:00 PM  

Tampa is due east of Orlando?

Steve said...
Oct 13, 2007, 12:47:00 PM  
This comment has been removed by the author.
Steve said...
Oct 13, 2007, 12:47:00 PM  

Anon - the reason USF is in Tampa (so I've heard) is because the state legislature back in the day did not want to put a public university near those darned Cuban immigrants in Miami.

Why is Hank Greenberg in the booth talking about horse racing during Georgia Tech-Miami?

Signal to Noise said...
Oct 13, 2007, 12:58:00 PM  

Why does Erin pull her hair back like that on top? Is that the "I got laid last night and this morning -- didn't have time to shower" look?

Anonymous said...
Oct 13, 2007, 1:13:00 PM  

Pam Ward: "... if you don't want to bang with your participles..."

Thatswhatshesaid said...
Oct 13, 2007, 1:14:00 PM  

Crucial moment in Minnesota/NW, 35-28, Minn kicking a FG to try and go up 10.

Jim Kelly: "And it's wide right...JUST LIKE TOMCZAK'S GOLF GAME!"

ss said...
Oct 13, 2007, 3:24:00 PM  

Pat Haden: "You are in midseason form, Tom."
Tom Hammond: "It IS midseason."
PH: "Oh, right."

ss said...
Oct 13, 2007, 4:31:00 PM  

On your rules pet peeve. In the BC-ND game, a BC player was tripped up, and the ball popped out when his arm and the ball hit the ground. One of the announcers was saying it was a fumble because his knee didn't touch the ground.
Doesn't everyone know the ground can't cause a fumble and that your elbow is the same as your knee when considering if someone is down?

Anonymous said...
Oct 13, 2007, 5:11:00 PM  

Also from ND game. "I'm not sure Manute Bol could have got that one."

After a shotgun snap over Clausen's head (shocking, I know.)

Phil said...
Oct 13, 2007, 5:14:00 PM  

did anybody talk about resting Josh Beckett or ARod?

A day can't go by without a discussion about those two subjects.

22PITCH!

hollywood wags said...
Oct 13, 2007, 6:00:00 PM  

That you for that image of erin putting something phallic into heropen mouth. I gotta go now.

Steve said...
Oct 13, 2007, 6:10:00 PM  

I would like to welcome Erin Andrews to my lap.

Anonymous said...
Oct 13, 2007, 6:21:00 PM  

Who you gonna believe, Verne Lundquist or your lying eyes? Called the barely wide left and long enough LSU game-winning field goal attempt "short".

Anonymous said...
Oct 13, 2007, 7:21:00 PM  

Mike Patrick following a promo for MNF featuring the Falcons during Auburn-Arkansas:

Mentioning the Atlanta Falcons gets my dander up because of Michael Vick. Congratulations to the state of Virginia for return separate indictments

First of all, mentioning Atlanta upsets him because it makes him think of Michael Vick? He obviously is incapable of separating the two.

Secondly, who congratulates a state for indicting someone?

Mike Patrick continues to go round the bend I think.

Tar Heel Fan said...
Oct 13, 2007, 8:33:00 PM  

Mike Patrick is, like, controversial, but yet, he's not, because what he says makes no sense.

That's a lesson, if you want to be controversial and take a stand, say it in a way that makes no sense.

Sort of how a politician or lawyer would say it, albeit one that's totally bonkers.

I think he had heart surgery last year or something.

I cut him slack cuz he's so out there like a raquetball bouncing around in an airplane going around the moon.

Make sense?

hollywood wags said...
Oct 13, 2007, 8:52:00 PM  

That makes sense...unlike Mike Patrick.

Tar Heel Fan said...
Oct 13, 2007, 9:49:00 PM  

Ya know, Erin Andrews has a nice head of hair on her, but to tell you the truth, she really ain't all that attractive. But thank goodness she's eating something. Those arms look like they're on loan from Auschwitz.

Anonymous said...
Oct 13, 2007, 9:59:00 PM  

Next year could we rename this weekly segment. I was thinking of "Mike Patrick Ponders".

And yes I was going with irony.

Anonymous said...
Oct 13, 2007, 9:59:00 PM  

Erin is going to waste away to two large implants.

I used to get a kick out of Mike when he was on SNF...Suzee would be doing her hardcore X's and O's by talking about a dog dying or something and it was pulling on heartstrings and drenched emotionally like hot fudge on a sundae...and she'd be going on and on, over plays on the field.

And Mike would NOT acknowledge any part of the story. "Thanks Suzy"

It cracked me up every time.

Mike Patrick is the best announcer ever. We just don't know it yet.

hollywood wags said...
Oct 13, 2007, 10:23:00 PM  

On College Football Final, Lou Holtz gave his top 5...
"#5 I've got South Florida, #4 Oklahoma, #3 Boston College, #2 Kansas, don't laugh, and #1 I've got Ohio State."

Michael said...
Oct 14, 2007, 1:16:00 AM  

To clear up the confusion about where USF and Tampa is, Tampa is about 60 miles southwest of Orlando. USF is in Tampa, UCF is in Orlando, and UNF (they are the Ospreys, and they don't play football) is in Jacksonville, which is in the northeast corner of the state. Also, I usually try to keep up with the Pam Ward games every week, but I was at the UCF/USF game this week, so I missed it, but it seems that Pammy was still in rare form.

Michael said...
Oct 14, 2007, 1:21:00 AM  

At the end of CFF, Rece Davis said, "Could it be that some will vote South Florida #1?" To which Lou replied, "Halloween." I've officially decided I want to be Lou Holtz for Halloween now.

Michael said...
Oct 14, 2007, 1:48:00 AM  

As far as the ESPNU sideline reporter is concerned, I'm not sure which is the game in question, but UConn, Virginia, Louisville and Cincinnati all reported that Melissa Knowles would be on the sideline for their games, so chances are good that she was the one.

Willmott said...
Oct 14, 2007, 1:55:00 AM  

I noticed Knowles was at the Cincy/Louisville game, so if that was the one you were talking about, well, that would be her.

Hey, AA, I didn't find any over the last two weeks (and I'm somebody that watches college football from noon to 1:30 AM). Perhaps they've caught wind of the Pam Ward Chronicles?

I did notice that the guy doing the NW/Minnesota game said something like "I like the spin, where's Bill O'Reilly? Protecting the QB..." Maybe it's just me, but I really don't care about announcers' political views. I come to the Big 10 Network to watch a football game. Just like I would be reading an Ivan Maisel column to read about college football, not "Rovian" tactics.

Eric said...
Oct 14, 2007, 10:22:00 AM  

Pam Ward actually said "dangle your participle." A little English major humor, I guess.

Oct 14, 2007, 11:31:00 AM  

Two more like Pam Ward and I can have a free ride on the metro!

jim said...
Dec 22, 2007, 2:14:00 PM  

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