"We call [Illinois O-coordinator Mike Locksley] Robin of Locksley because he takes from the rich and gives to the poor in terms of talent." - Ray Bentley.

Boy, was that a stretch.

Another "aaaaaaaggggggggg" moment. They forgot a photo in the Iowa graphic

"Iowa leads statistically after the first."--Pam

They're losing 3-0

Just an observation about C. Florida/S. Florida. South Florida is due east of Central Florida. Shouldn't any university called South Florida be in Miami or Key West?

That's like if USC was in San Francisco.

Tampa is due east of Orlando?

Anon - the reason USF is in Tampa (so I've heard) is because the state legislature back in the day did not want to put a public university near those darned Cuban immigrants in Miami.

Why is Hank Greenberg in the booth talking about horse racing during Georgia Tech-Miami?

Why does Erin pull her hair back like that on top? Is that the "I got laid last night and this morning -- didn't have time to shower" look?

Pam Ward: "... if you don't want to bang with your participles..."

Crucial moment in Minnesota/NW, 35-28, Minn kicking a FG to try and go up 10.

Jim Kelly: "And it's wide right...JUST LIKE TOMCZAK'S GOLF GAME!"

Pat Haden: "You are in midseason form, Tom."
Tom Hammond: "It IS midseason."
PH: "Oh, right."

On your rules pet peeve. In the BC-ND game, a BC player was tripped up, and the ball popped out when his arm and the ball hit the ground. One of the announcers was saying it was a fumble because his knee didn't touch the ground.
Doesn't everyone know the ground can't cause a fumble and that your elbow is the same as your knee when considering if someone is down?

Also from ND game. "I'm not sure Manute Bol could have got that one."

After a shotgun snap over Clausen's head (shocking, I know.)

did anybody talk about resting Josh Beckett or ARod?

A day can't go by without a discussion about those two subjects.

22PITCH!

That you for that image of erin putting something phallic into heropen mouth. I gotta go now.

I would like to welcome Erin Andrews to my lap.

Who you gonna believe, Verne Lundquist or your lying eyes? Called the barely wide left and long enough LSU game-winning field goal attempt "short".

Mike Patrick following a promo for MNF featuring the Falcons during Auburn-Arkansas:

Mentioning the Atlanta Falcons gets my dander up because of Michael Vick. Congratulations to the state of Virginia for return separate indictments

First of all, mentioning Atlanta upsets him because it makes him think of Michael Vick? He obviously is incapable of separating the two.

Secondly, who congratulates a state for indicting someone?

Mike Patrick continues to go round the bend I think.

Mike Patrick is, like, controversial, but yet, he's not, because what he says makes no sense.

That's a lesson, if you want to be controversial and take a stand, say it in a way that makes no sense.

Sort of how a politician or lawyer would say it, albeit one that's totally bonkers.

I think he had heart surgery last year or something.

I cut him slack cuz he's so out there like a raquetball bouncing around in an airplane going around the moon.

Make sense?

That makes sense...unlike Mike Patrick.

Ya know, Erin Andrews has a nice head of hair on her, but to tell you the truth, she really ain't all that attractive. But thank goodness she's eating something. Those arms look like they're on loan from Auschwitz.

Next year could we rename this weekly segment. I was thinking of "Mike Patrick Ponders".

And yes I was going with irony.

Erin is going to waste away to two large implants.

I used to get a kick out of Mike when he was on SNF...Suzee would be doing her hardcore X's and O's by talking about a dog dying or something and it was pulling on heartstrings and drenched emotionally like hot fudge on a sundae...and she'd be going on and on, over plays on the field.

And Mike would NOT acknowledge any part of the story. "Thanks Suzy"

It cracked me up every time.

Mike Patrick is the best announcer ever. We just don't know it yet.

On College Football Final, Lou Holtz gave his top 5...
"#5 I've got South Florida, #4 Oklahoma, #3 Boston College, #2 Kansas, don't laugh, and #1 I've got Ohio State."

To clear up the confusion about where USF and Tampa is, Tampa is about 60 miles southwest of Orlando. USF is in Tampa, UCF is in Orlando, and UNF (they are the Ospreys, and they don't play football) is in Jacksonville, which is in the northeast corner of the state. Also, I usually try to keep up with the Pam Ward games every week, but I was at the UCF/USF game this week, so I missed it, but it seems that Pammy was still in rare form.

At the end of CFF, Rece Davis said, "Could it be that some will vote South Florida #1?" To which Lou replied, "Halloween." I've officially decided I want to be Lou Holtz for Halloween now.

As far as the ESPNU sideline reporter is concerned, I'm not sure which is the game in question, but UConn, Virginia, Louisville and Cincinnati all reported that Melissa Knowles would be on the sideline for their games, so chances are good that she was the one.

I noticed Knowles was at the Cincy/Louisville game, so if that was the one you were talking about, well, that would be her.

Hey, AA, I didn't find any over the last two weeks (and I'm somebody that watches college football from noon to 1:30 AM). Perhaps they've caught wind of the Pam Ward Chronicles?

I did notice that the guy doing the NW/Minnesota game said something like "I like the spin, where's Bill O'Reilly? Protecting the QB..." Maybe it's just me, but I really don't care about announcers' political views. I come to the Big 10 Network to watch a football game. Just like I would be reading an Ivan Maisel column to read about college football, not "Rovian" tactics.

Pam Ward actually said "dangle your participle." A little English major humor, I guess.

Two more like Pam Ward and I can have a free ride on the metro!