Tie Game? Whatchu talkin bout Willis?

Tell David Blaine that his new "Floating Head" trick sucks. I can totally see his body.

"Do I still talk to Hannibal and Face? I don't understand the question."

Damnit, dallas, I was going to use that quote.

Maybe I was confused, College football games can finish in a tie instead!

Hmmm, that guy looks like a bowl of Chunky...man, I am hungry, it's great when Coach and I get a case of Chunky, add three cheesesteaks each and a case of Blue Ribbon and do some heavyweight eating before practice...is he talking about ties? I hate ties, I like crewnecks the best, or maybe a turtleneck, I look good in them...man, I am so hungry right now for some Chunky.

This is your last chance. After this, there is no turning back. You take the blue pill - the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill - you stay in Wonderland and I show you how deep the rabbit-hole goes.

But when I asked Mike Nolan, he told me that ties weren't allowed in the NFL!

Ok, I'll admitt that I didn't know that a regular season game can end in a tie. But at least I didn't throw up this time.

Damn and I was all ready to go for 2 if we scored.

So, wait... Why didn't we just line up for a field goal at the end of Super Bowl XXXIX? Brady could have kept the trophy on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. I could have kept it on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays... But what about Sundays? Who gets it on Sundays???

"I didn't even know games could end in a tie."
(Can't top the original sometimes)

Conan O'Brien's tryouts to find a new staring contest opponent continue.

I've never been part of a tie. I didn't know games in the NFL could end in a tie. (the original quote from McNabb is good enough)

Wait, so you are telling me that it takes 10 yards to get a first down?

TIES? TIES? ARE YOU KIDDING ME? TIES??!? I JUST HOPE WE CAN WIN A GAME!

I guess that Donovan has been practicing Joey Tribbiani's "Smell The Fart" acting.

McNabb: "But I was talking to Tony Siragusa, and he said the games couldn't end in a tie!"

This is Rush Limbaugh's fault, I just know it!!!

"Rules are overrated. What we have here is a little social concern in the NFL. The media has been very desirous that a black quarterback knows the rules of the game - black coaches and black quarterbacks knowing the rules."

-Donovan McNabb quoting his inner Rush Limbaugh

Let's see, what can I say that would take people's attention away from the fact that we can't beat the freaking Bengals?

You mean we don't get a 5th down?

Donovan McNabb giving us Donovan McNabb face right before he's about to throw up. This press conference must be in Jacksonville.

Hmmm...Blame Andy Reid or say becuase I am black QB and have more pressure to preform than white QB's, I forgot the rules.

Hmmmm. Canadian football features only three downs on a longer field than we play on. I wonder if Henry Burris has to field these stupid questions. Ties are dumb anyway, I would so have gone for two if the hail mary pass was completed.

Hank Baskett: Hey Donavan, let's get some lunch.

Donavan: Yeah I'm starvin, where should we go?

Hank: Your choice.

Donavan:Hmm, I'm thinking something Asian. Not Chinese. Not Sushi. Not Vietnamese. Definitely not Indian Food. Hmm. I just can't think of any other kind of Asian Food. There are definitely no other possibilities to satisfy my craving for food from the continent of Asia.

No way, that's...

WE'VE LANDED ON THE MOON!!!

Math is hard.

Press: There's Only One Overtime
Donovan: Whatcha talkin bout Willis?

Ha, already beatin to the punch

Mcnabb channels Allen Iverson:

We sittin' in here and I supposed to be the franchise player and we in here talkin' bout knowin' the rules. I'm mean, listen, we talkin' bout a tie. Not a win, not a loss, we talkin' bout a tie. Not a game, not a game that I go out an die for and play every game like its my last. Not a win, we talkin' bout a tie, man. I mean, how silly is that? We talkin' bout knowin' the rules. I know I'm supposed to lead by example. I know that. I'm not shoving it aside, ya know, like it don't mean anything. I know it's important. I do, I honestly do, but we takin' bout knowin' the rules, man. What are we talkin bout? The rules? We talkin' bout knowin' the rules, man. We talkin bout knowin' the rules. We talkin' bout knowing the rules. We ain't talkin bout the game. We talkin' bout knowin' the rules, man. When you come into the stadium and you see me play. You see me play, don't you? You see me givin' everything I got, right? We talkin' bout knowing the rules right now. We talkin' bout knowin' the rules. Man, look, I hear you. It's funny to me too. It's strange to me too, but we talkin' bout knowin' the rules, man. We not even talkin' bout the game, the actually game, when it matters. We talkin' bout knowing the rules. How the hell can I make my teammates better by knowing the rules?

"So you tell me there is a thing called a tie, yeah right. The next thing your going to tell me is that Awful Announcing doesn't hate ESPN."

Mike won

McNabb: "I didn't even know that games in the NFL could end in a tie.

Reporter in the background: "What you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul."

What happens when you combine the heads of Donavan McNabb, Charles Barkley, and Kimbo Slice? I give you KimCharlavan BarkMcSlice.

lol..you guys are idiots

"Really? All your girlfriends wanted to have sex with virgins too?"

McNabb: I haven't got a brain... only straw.

Reporter: How can you talk if you haven't got a brain?

McNabb: I don't know... But some people without brains do an awful lot of talking.. don't they?

Reporter: No sh*t

No Lacy Underall, I would not like to tie you up with some of my ties.

I wonder if scrambling is legal...

C'mon mom, this is not the appropriate time to offer everyone, Campbell's new thick and hearty "Foot in the mouth" flavor.

I don't feel different. I mean, take yesterday for example. We were out at the Olive Garden for dinner, which was lovely. And uh, I happen to look over at a certain point during the meal and see a waitress taking an order, and I found myself wondering what color her underpants might be. Her panties. Uh, odds are they are probably basic white, cotton, underpants. But I sort of think well maybe they're silk panties, maybe it's a thong. Maybe it's something really cool that I don't even know about. You know, and uh, and I started feeling... what? what I thought we were in the trust tree in the nest, were we not?

"I'm thinking Arby's."

A tie? A TIE!?! There's no tying... There's no tying in football!

I got mind control over Deebo. He be like "shut the f**k up." I be quiet. But when he leave, I be talking again.

Now these guys are telling me that a tie is like kissing your sister...that's strange...but whose sister?...Andy Ried is the coach, the head of the team...thus do I have to kiss his sister?

I've seen games... games that you've seen. But you have no right to call me an idiot. You have a right to ridicule me. You have a right to do that... but you have no right to judge me. It's impossible for words to describe what is necessary to those who do not know what tie means. Ties. Ties have a face... and you must make a friend of ties. Ties and Overtime are your friends. If they are not then they are enemies to be feared. They are truly enemies. I remember when I was with Syracuse. Seems a thousand centuries ago. We went into a stadium to inoculate the children. We left the stadium after we had inoculated the children for Polio, and this old man came running after us and he was crying. He couldn't see. We went back there and they had come and hacked off every inoculated arm. There they were in a pile. A pile of little arms. And I remember... I... I... I cried. I wept like some grandmother. I wanted to tear my teeth out. I didn't know what I wanted to do. And I want to remember it. I never want to forget it. I never want to forget. And then I realized... we had just tied! We had just tied the Cincinnati Bengals.. it felt like I was shot with a diamond... a diamond bullet right through my forehead. And I thought: My God... the genius of that. The genius. The will to do that. A Perfect, genuine, complete, crystalline, Tie. And then I realized they were stronger than we. Because they could stand that these were not monsters. These were men... trained cadres. These men who fought with their hearts, who had families, who had children, who were filled with love... but they had the strength... the strength... to do that. If I had ten divisions of those men our troubles here would be over very quickly. You have to have men who are moral... and at the same time who are able to utilize their primordial instincts to play football in Cincy without feeling... without passion... without judgment... without judgment. Because it's judgment that defeats us

damnit, I knew I shouldn't have stopped at chapter 31 of that Magic Johnson book before the game. Number 32 is 'beware of the tie game in football'

McNabb (thinking): "But I heard Herm Edwards say... 'You PLAY, to WIN, the GAME. You don't play to just play it.'"

Donovan McNabb brings out the much maligned "Donovan McNabb Face," seen only during two minute drill, big games, two minute drill in big games, finding out there are ties in football, and when Andy Reid calls for a run on fourth and short.

Tying? TYING? There's no TYING in football!

...

There's tying in football?

good gosh Marc, I see you wrote a novel up there.

"We're sitting here, and I'm supposed to be the franchise player, and we're talking about ties. I mean listen, we're sitting here talking about ties, not a win, not a win, not a loss, but we're talking about ties."

"I know it's important, I honestly do but we're talking about ties. We're talking about ties man. We're talking about ties. We're talking about ties. We're not talking about a win or loss. We're talking about ties."

lol walnuts... i was watching apocalyspe now, and i heard it and went to find it online, and just subbed in the words... nothing to do here really.... bored

McNabb (thinking): "What Would T.O. Do?"
(fake tears begin to well up)

McNabb: What do you mean we tied?
Reporter: It's a tie, you know. It was an even game, it ended, your team tied.
[laughs]
McNabb: What do you mean, you mean the way we played? What?
Reporter: It's just, you know. Your team tied, it's... a tie, the way you ran out of time and everything.
McNabb: [it becomes quiet] Tie how? What's makes it a tie?
Reid: Donny no, You got it all wrong.
McNabb: Oh, oh, Andy. He's a big boy, he knows what he said. What did ya say? Tie how?
Reporter: Jus...
McNabb: What?
Reporter: Just... ya know... you're funny.
McNabb: You mean, let me understand this cause, ya know maybe it's me, I'm a little fucked up maybe, but I tied how? I mean tie like I'm a cravat, I decorate you? I make you pretty, I'm here to fuckin' decorate you? What do you mean tie, tie how? How did I tie?
Reporter: Just... you know, how you play the game, what?
McNabb: No, no, I don't know, you said it. How do I know? You said I tied. How the fuck did I tie, what the fuck is so tied about me? Tell me, tell me what's a tie!

Reporter: Daunte! Daunte! Over here! What do you think about your team falling to 0-'08?

[Camera Snaps Photo]

(whispers)

Reporter: Oh, my mistake. I saw your lack of a neck and scrotumy chin and just assumed you you weret hat guy on the couch gorging on Pizza Combos and Fanta two weeks ago.

Also, before 2002, I was unaware that a baseball game could end in a tie

McNabb: "“You've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel lucky?' Well, do ya punk?”

Hello, fellow American. This you should vote me. I leave power good. Thank you. Thank you. If you vote me, I'm hot...what? Taxes, they'll be lower...son. The democratic vote for me is right thing to do, Philadelphia, so do.

Ya see Donavan, the sad thing about a guy like you is in 50 years you're gonna staht doin some thinkin on your own and you're gonna come up with the fact that there are two certaintees in life. One, NFL games can end in a tie. And Two, you dropped a hundred and fifty grand on a fuckin education at Syracuse that you coulda got for a dollah fifty in late chahges at the public library.

I thought the scoreboard said TO, not OT. CURSE MY DYSLEXIA!

insert random off-the-wall movie quote here to win the contest

Coach, drop the Chunky Soup now. Mom brought that for me, not you.

"Two point conversions? No shit....really? We don't always have to kick extra points? GET OUT"

McNabb: Tied? Did you say "over"? Nothing is over until we decide it is! Was it tied when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no!

"They're driving an '84... Sheepdog"

"What'd you just say to me? Do you know who I am? I'll tie you in the face, fool. What? What? I'm still not using that word right? Damn."

"Where the hell is Rush Limbaugh when you need him?"

Donovan McNabb: Aww, you motherfuckers. Okay. Alright. I'm putting cases on all you bitches. Huh. You think you can do this shit...Kevin? You think you can do this to me? You motherfuckers will be playing basketball in Pelican Bay when I get finished with you. SHU program, nigga. 23 hour lockdown. I'm the man up in this piece. You'll never see the light of... who the fuck do you think you're fucking with? I'm the police, I run shit around here. You just live here. Yeah, that's right, you better walk away. Go on and walk away... 'cause I'm gonna' burn this motherfucker down. King Kong ain't got shit on me. That's right, that's right. Shit, I don't, fuck. I'm winning anyway, I'm winning... I'm winning any motherfucking way. I can't lose. Yeah, you can shoot me, but you can't kill me...

...wait. A TIE?

And the censored version:

Donovan McNabb: Aww, you motherf--kers. Okay. Alright. I'm putting cases on all you bitches. Huh. You think you can do this s--t...Kevin? You think you can do this to me? You motherf--kers will be playing basketball in Pelican Bay when I get finished with you. SHU program, n---a. 23 hour lockdown. I'm the man up in this piece. You'll never see the light of... who the f--k do you think you're f--king with? I'm the quarterback, I run s--t around here. You just live here. Yeah, that's right, you better walk away. Go on and walk away... 'cause I'm gonna' burn this motherf--ker down. Randall Cunningham ain't got s--t on me. That's right, that's right. S--t, I don't, f--k. I'm winning anyway, I'm winning... I'm winning any motherf--king way. I can't lose. Yeah, you can shoot me, but you can't kill me...

...wait. A TIE?

(http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0139654/quotes)

Don't look at him! Shut your eyes, Marion, and don't look at him, no matter what happens!

The Redskins can still make the playoffs. The Cowboys can still make the playoffs. Well, Why can't us? WHY CAN'T US???

Moderator: "Explain the NFL overtime system and how it is applied today."

McNabb: "The, uhh... overtime of, uhh... the NFL... can be summarized in... yeah, umm, see... overtime is, uhh... you know, the thing about overtime is..."

McNabb pulls out a gun.

McNabb: "That question was not fair! That was not in the reading! I demand a new question!

"You gotta be a moron... you gotta be a moron to wanna be a quarterback in Philadelphia"

Coors Light guys: So we were playing Flip Cup and both our cups landed upside down at the same time. We had to call it a draw. What do you think?

Donovan: I had no idea games could end in a tie.

Whatcha mean I gotta kiss my sistah!

Everyone's all worried about the whole tie thing, but I'm still trying to figure out why the hell we had Greg Robinson at Syracuse around for so long...

A tie is like kissing...Chad Ocho Cinco?!

"You read The Bible? There's a passage I got memorized, Ezekiel 25:17: 'The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness. For he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know I am the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon you.' I been sayin' that shit for years. And if you ever heard it, it meant your ass. I never really questioned what it meant. I thought it was just a cold-blooded thing to say to a motherfucker before you popped a cap in his ass. But I saw some shit this mornin' made me think twice. Now I'm thinkin': it could mean you're the evil man. And I'm the righteous man. And Mr. 9mm here, he's the shepherd protecting my righteous ass in the valley of darkness. Or it could be you're the righteous man and I'm the shepherd and it's the world that's evil and selfish. I'd like that. But that shit ain't the truth. The truth is you're the weak. And I'm the tyranny of evil men. But I'm tryin', Ringo. I'm tryin' real hard to be the shepherd."

Carlos Delgado thinks to himself: "Do I even play with a Westbrook? Did he just ask if there are ties in baseball? Wait a minute, where the hell am I?"

Yeah, those were four very creative captions for Cuban. All four from two different movies that have been used on this site 50x over. Very creative.

McNabb: Of course I've had four-in-hand while in Windsor and Thailand, but I don't see what that has to do with football.

Tie? Homey don't play that!

I've got to concentrate...concentrate...concentrate...
I've got to concentrate...concentrate...concentrate...
Pinch hitting for Pedro Borbon...Manny Mota...Mota...Mota...

"Just think if the world series ended and one team had 4 wins and the other had 3."

It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.

“I think trans fats are made up. Have you ever seen a product that says it actually contains trans fats? No. There’s only foods with zero trans fats. I bet you could just make up something bad and say your product doesn’t have any. People would go crazy for it. I’m gonna start playing a game with no ties. That would be the game to play.”

"We sittin' in here, I'm supposed to be the franchise player, and we in here talkin' about overtime. I mean listen, we talkin bout overtime. Not regulation, not regulation, not regulation. We talkin bout overtime."

"Wait a second now! So you're saying 2 plus 2 equals 4? I didn't know that either!"

Well I'm gonna to go then. And I don't need any of this. I don't need this stuff, and I don't need you. I don't need anything except this. And that's it and that's the only thing I need, is this. I don't need this or this. Just this ashtray. And this paddle game, the ashtray and the paddle game and that's all I need. And this remote control. The ashtray, the paddle game, and the remote control, and that's all I need. And these matches. The ashtray, and these matches, and the remote control and the paddle ball. And this lamp. The ashtray, this paddle game and the remote control and the lamp and that's all I need. And that's all I need too. I don't need one other thing, not one - I need this. The paddle game, and the chair, and the remote control, and the matches, for sure. And this. And that's all I need. The ashtray, the remote control, the paddle game, this magazine and the chair.

Two seconds later, Darius Rucker pulled out .44 and smoked the guy who was butchering "Only Wanna Be With You."

"I like turtles."

Reporter: And this "Moe's" - is this some sort of business?

McNabb's Brain: Don't say you were at a bar, don't say you were at a bar... But what else is open at midnight?

McNabb: It's a pornography store. I was buying pornography.

No, I did not quarter-pound burgers in France were called Royale with cheese.

*Sigh* Why couldn't the Browns have drafted me instead with the first pick?

But Basil, if I go into overtime and there is no winner then we continue overtime. But if there is only one overtime, there is no winner. But if there has to be a winner in a...OH, now I've gone crosseyed.

What sport do I play again?

playoffs! don't talk about playoffs! are there even ties in the playoffs!

Wait... if you can't have ties in the Super Bowl, then that would explain why everyone else was in such a hurry that one time...

Cocaine's a hell of a drug. . .

damnit AA just give me the damn video game

We're talking about practice. We're not talking about the game. We're talking about practice

It's called "Blue Steel"... What?.. Are you serious?

The Bengals are who we thought they were.

Guys from crowd: Donovan we like Coors and Coors Light the same.

Donovan: I didn't think we could have a tie.

Who cares about a tie, why is LaDainian Tomlinson eating my chunky soup?

My prediction....Pain.

"Are you serious? Man I didn't even know you could end a game in a tie, so how the heck am I going to know what hoecho sinkhoe, how ever say it, means??!!!"

LD: Yeah, shes nice She's nice to be people with hair.

JG: What are you talking about?

LD: What am I talking about? Bald people get discriminated against, all the time. And you just saw a perfect example of that. Ask any bald person, go ahead.

JG: How do you deal with?

LD: You know, you get used to it. I get support from my bald brothers. There's no meetings but we see each other on the street, nod or give a thumbs up.
You know we love each other, me and my bald brothers.

"'Overtime?' What're you talkin' bout 'overtime?' I'm talkin bout a game."

Just because I am late to the party...Watchu talkin' bout Willis...I suck.

"Next question"

Next question.

McNabb: I'm really sick of how AA always rewards people with the most obvious movie quotes. Where's the originality in these Create-the-Caption contests? Andy Reid's play-calling is more original than these winners!

Thanks for having me on the program, Mr. Limbaugh.

"Quick, staring contest...you and me............................................................YOU WIN, YOU ALWAYS DO!"

"Hmmm, I really want to win that video game for our locker room and AA likes movie quotes. Which one should I go with? Eddie Murphy has been driven into the ground, and I can't do an overused TV show catch phrase either. A football movie would make sense, but I'm not sure if I should go with The Waterboy or The Longest Yard. Maybe an obscure Heaven Can Wait quote. What would really be funny is......Huh, I'm out of time? That's OK. I'll just take a quick break and start thinking again. Wait a minute! What do you mean I don't get any more time to come up with a winning caption? No way you can just end this contest without me getting a shot to win this game!"

McNabb was so pissed at the way the Philly media has treated him this week, that smoke started coming out of his ears.

"Get out of my face! I don't need no has-beens in my corner. And you better wipe that look off your face before I knock it off. You wanna jump, JUMP! Come on! Come on, Creed! Come on!"

"Ladies and gentlemen of the supposed media, I have one final thing I want you to consider. Ladies and gentlemen, this is Chewbacca. Chewbacca is a Wookiee from the planet Kashyyyk. But Chewbacca lives on the planet Endor. Now think about that: that does not make sense. Why would a Wookiee -- an 8-foot tall Wookiee -- want to live on Endor with a bunch of 2-foot tall Ewoks? That does not make sense. But more importantly, you have to ask yourself: 'What does this have to do with this issue?' Nothing. Ladies and gentlemen, it has nothing to do with this issue. It does not make sense! Look at me, I'm a Quarterback for an NFL team, and I'm talking about Chewbacca. Does that make sense? Ladies and gentlemen, I am not making any sense! None of this makes any sense! And so you have to remember, when you're in that press-box deliberating and conjugating your 'season's over' declaration, does it make sense? No! Ladies and gentlemen of this supposed media, it does not make sense! If Chewbacca lives on Endor, the game shouldn't be able to end in a tie."

I wonder what Bud Selig would do in case of a tie....Nahhh, that would never happen.

You think if I keep looking at the real media Pam Oliver won't notice I'm here?

Is my outfit from the "Andy Reid Collection"? What the hell is that supposed to mean?

Movie quote

news conference?? since when did we have those in the NFL?

McNabb trying to employ the Silent Bob Jedi Mind Trick on the national media to stop bugging him about the tie.

I never knew you could wear a tie to a press conference.

Reporter #1: Were you familiar with the Overtime rules?

McNabb: Both teams played hard

Reporter #2: Was Reid familiar with the rules?

McNabb: Both teams played hard

Reporter #3: How dissapointed are you in Syracuse's football program?

McNabb: Both teams played hard

A tie? Why would I wear a tie?